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(Deadspin)   Jerry Jones on why the NFL is like the Oregon Trail. TONY ROMO HAS DIED OF DYSENTERY   (deadspin.com) divider line 54
    More: Amusing, Jerry Jones, Oregon, Barry Switzer  
•       •       •

1948 clicks; posted to Sports » on 17 Dec 2013 at 4:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



54 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-17 04:03:52 PM  
>TONY ROMO HAS DROPPED A BALL
>DEZ BRYANT HAS RUN CRYING TO THE LOCKER ROOM
>MILES AUSTIN IS CONFUSED
>CHRIS PAINTER CONFIRMS HIS EVIL PLAN TO SABOTAGE HIS OWN TEAM
 
2013-12-17 04:15:44 PM  
PEYTON MANNING has shot 456 yards of bison, but can only carry 3 points back to the wagon.
 
2013-12-17 04:17:13 PM  
I can't imagine anything more confusing than a Barry Switzer quote filtered through Jerry Jones' brain, spoken on the 3rd most popular sports radio station in Dallas, catalogued by "DC Sports Bog" and then posted on Deadspin.
 
2013-12-17 04:18:25 PM  

Uzzah: PEYTON MANNING has shot 456 yards of bison, but can only carry 3 points back to the wagon.


i.huffpost.com

THE REDSKINS OFFER TO TRADE YOU AN ENTIRE WAGON FOR 1 OX
 
2013-12-17 04:19:01 PM  
'Peperony and Chease' brought up some old memories and made me laugh.
 
2013-12-17 04:19:12 PM  

Uzzah: PEYTON MANNING has shot 456 yards of bison, but can only carry 3 points back to the wagon.


Yeah but he didn't shoot a wolf when he had the perfect shot on the bison.
 
2013-12-17 04:20:02 PM  

Treygreen13: Uzzah: PEYTON MANNING has shot 456 yards of bison, but can only carry 3 points back to the wagon.

[i.huffpost.com image 300x219]

THE REDSKINS OFFER TO TRADE YOU AN ENTIRE WAGON FOR 1 OX


NOT ENOUGH says Dan Snyder
 
2013-12-17 04:20:22 PM  

dwrash: 'Peperony and Chease' brought up some old memories and made me laugh.


Sadly, a lot of kids on the internet won't even know the game, let alone the pizza reference.
 
2013-12-17 04:28:02 PM  

Treygreen13: I can't imagine anything more confusing than a Barry Switzer quote filtered through Jerry Jones' brain, spoken on the 3rd most popular sports radio station in Dallas, catalogued by "DC Sports Bog" and then posted on Deadspin.


Yeah, but it gave us a good headline...
 
2013-12-17 04:30:11 PM  

Mikey1969: Treygreen13: I can't imagine anything more confusing than a Barry Switzer quote filtered through Jerry Jones' brain, spoken on the 3rd most popular sports radio station in Dallas, catalogued by "DC Sports Bog" and then posted on Deadspin.

Yeah, but it gave us a good headline...


Plus some good memories. I used to love going to the computer lab and play Oregon Trail. I never felt like I really learned anything in that game, unlike games like Number Munchers or Lemonade Stand.
 
2013-12-17 04:31:26 PM  
Some of the comments from TFA are funny as hell...

We've got to cross the Mississippi River to get there. A lot of you are gonna die. - Aaron Hernandez on his Vegas birthday party invite.
----
Tony Romo was quoted on a different radio station:
Being a quarterback is a lot like being an adventurer, you have to collect items, turn left, turn right, look up, look down, pick up axe, hit troll with axe. You have to navigate mazes, two to be exact, and then there is this nasty puzzle at the flood control dam #3.
----
Meet group of lonely ranchers.
You are low on food and need to offer something in exchange with ranchers to get dinner.
Dez Bryant's mother has died of exhaustion.
----
Weather: warm.
River width: 230 feet
River Depth: 6.9 feet
You may:
1. Attempt to ford the river.
2. Caulk wagon and float it across.
3. Take the Vikings Sex Boat.
....
The river was too shallow for the Vikings Sex Boat. You lose:
1 double-sided dildo
3 hookers
FRED SMOOT (drowned)
 
2013-12-17 04:37:27 PM  

Treygreen13: Plus some good memories. I used to love going to the computer lab and play Oregon Trail. I never felt like I really learned anything in that game, unlike games like Number Munchers or Lemonade Stand.


I remember when I aced Lemonade Stand. Day 1, I nailed the optimal price on the nose, Days 2-5 were spent tagging the two dollar amounts in either direction.
 
2013-12-17 04:40:36 PM  

Treygreen13: spoken on the 3rd most popular sports radio station in Dallas



If you haven't made the switch to Ben & Skin, you're missing out.


/Sorry, Rhyner, you've been mailing it in since Hammer was fired.
//Rhyner is dead.
 
2013-12-17 04:41:47 PM  

Treygreen13: Mikey1969: Treygreen13: I can't imagine anything more confusing than a Barry Switzer quote filtered through Jerry Jones' brain, spoken on the 3rd most popular sports radio station in Dallas, catalogued by "DC Sports Bog" and then posted on Deadspin.

Yeah, but it gave us a good headline...

Plus some good memories. I used to love going to the computer lab and play Oregon Trail. I never felt like I really learned anything in that game, unlike games like Number Munchers or Lemonade Stand.


img.gawkerassets.com

The best one comes with the helpful picture.  I never would have remembered that - "peperony and chease."  lol
 
2013-12-17 04:44:35 PM  

Slow To Return: Treygreen13: spoken on the 3rd most popular sports radio station in Dallas


If you haven't made the switch to Ben & Skin, you're missing out.


/Sorry, Rhyner, you've been mailing it in since Hammer was fired.
//Rhyner is dead.


I prefer THE FAN as well, although I don't like Ben and Skin as much since I like for my hosts to talk about sports occasionally.

I like the G-Bag Nation, personally.
 
2013-12-17 04:44:48 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-17 04:46:13 PM  
I remember when 105.3 was a regular talk station. I enjoyed it. Pugs and Kelly. And Russ Martin was always good for a laugh.
 
2013-12-17 04:47:43 PM  
So if applied to this year:  Wilson and Manning have no end of game bonus but the most outlay to finish the game successfully (Banker) while Chad Henne had the highest bonus for finishing (Farmer).
 
2013-12-17 04:47:43 PM  
Sunday was when they went all Donner Party.
 
2013-12-17 04:48:05 PM  

HawgWild: I remember when 105.3 was a regular talk station. I enjoyed it. Pugs and Kelly. And Russ Martin was always good for a laugh.


I remember it but I never really "got" Russ Martin. He's on the radio now and I just can't listen to him talk. His cadence and rhythm just make me want to change channels. He says some hilarious stuff, though.
 
2013-12-17 04:52:28 PM  

harleyquinnical: So if applied to this year:  Wilson and Manning have no end of game bonus but the most outlay to finish the game successfully (Banker) while Chad Henne had the highest bonus for finishing (Farmer).


Depends on the version you got in school. There were a lot of them. IIRC the version we had the biggest bonus was "Teacher" and getting to Oregon with her was like dragging a grand piano behind the cart through Comanche territory.

Which reminds me, Oregon must have been pretty full with all those Bankers arriving. I always went carpenter, personally. The version I had didn't have a whole lot of stuff to actually spend money on and buying food was a waste since I always went about 3 feet out of town and started shooting anything I saw.
 
2013-12-17 04:53:14 PM  

Treygreen13: I can't imagine anything more confusing than a Barry Switzer quote filtered through Jerry Jones' brain, spoken on the 3rd most popular sports radio station in Dallas, catalogued by "DC Sports Bog" and then posted on Deadspin.


Ow my brain. Barry through the Jerry filter was bad enough.

HOWEVER, if I'm comprehending that jibba jabba correctly, he's trying to say that we'll have hard times, but we need to stick together. I can translate Spanglish. I can translate 4 year old human. Translating Jerry is as futile as pitching it to Tashard Choice.

Whatever. Hey look, zombies:

cdn.smosh.com
 
2013-12-17 04:53:35 PM  

Treygreen13: HawgWild: I remember when 105.3 was a regular talk station. I enjoyed it. Pugs and Kelly. And Russ Martin was always good for a laugh.

I remember it but I never really "got" Russ Martin. He's on the radio now and I just can't listen to him talk. His cadence and rhythm just make me want to change channels. He says some hilarious stuff, though.


It took me a little bit to get used to him, too. Back then, he didn't really have a "start" to the show. Russ just came on and he and the others were already up to shenanigans. And there were times when no one would say anything for 10 seconds or so. But once I got used to his style, it was a fun listen.
 
2013-12-17 04:54:50 PM  

Di Atribe: Treygreen13: I can't imagine anything more confusing than a Barry Switzer quote filtered through Jerry Jones' brain, spoken on the 3rd most popular sports radio station in Dallas, catalogued by "DC Sports Bog" and then posted on Deadspin.

Ow my brain. Barry through the Jerry filter was bad enough.

HOWEVER, if I'm comprehending that jibba jabba correctly, he's trying to say that we'll have hard times, but we need to stick together. I can translate Spanglish. I can translate 4 year old human. Translating Jerry is as futile as pitching it to Tashard Choice.

Whatever. Hey look, zombies:

[cdn.smosh.com image 500x359]


You mean this game?
www.hatsproductions.com
Pretty similar to the original but with zombies.
 
2013-12-17 04:54:56 PM  

doyner: [img.fark.net image 300x168]


"Tony Romo has a yeast infection."

I laughed way harder than I should have at that.  But, being a married man, it struck a chord.
 
2013-12-17 04:55:30 PM  

eddievercetti: >TONY ROMO HAS DROPPED A BALL
>DEZ BRYANT HAS RUN CRYING TO THE LOCKER ROOM
>MILES AUSTIN IS CONFUSED
>CHRIS PAINTER CONFIRMS HIS EVIL PLAN TO SABOTAGE HIS OWN TEAM


>SEAN LEE HAS A CONCUSSION
 
2013-12-17 04:55:47 PM  

HawgWild: And there were times when no one would say anything for 10 seconds or so. But once I got used to his style, it was a fun listen.


Yeah, that still happens sometimes. I'll turn it on occasionally when sports radio infuriates me and half the time they're just laughing at each other for 30 seconds.
 
2013-12-17 04:55:59 PM  

lennavan: Treygreen13: Mikey1969: Treygreen13: I can't imagine anything more confusing than a Barry Switzer quote filtered through Jerry Jones' brain, spoken on the 3rd most popular sports radio station in Dallas, catalogued by "DC Sports Bog" and then posted on Deadspin.

Yeah, but it gave us a good headline...

Plus some good memories. I used to love going to the computer lab and play Oregon Trail. I never felt like I really learned anything in that game, unlike games like Number Munchers or Lemonade Stand.

[img.gawkerassets.com image 640x450]

The best one comes with the helpful picture.  I never would have remembered that - "peperony and chease."  lol


I never knew the joke, I'd seen that off and on, but never new what exactly it was about until I saw the comments. Awesome.
 
2013-12-17 05:04:55 PM  

Mikey1969: I never knew the joke, I'd seen that off and on, but never new what exactly it was about until I saw the comments. Awesome.


Oh, my memory was more nostalgic than that story about a pirated version of it.  As a kid, we all (everyone in my class) thought we were hilarious putting pizza toppings on that gravestone because of the commercial.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKspf06XuaQ
 
2013-12-17 05:06:27 PM  

Treygreen13: I can't imagine anything more confusing than a Barry Switzer quote filtered through Jerry Jones' brain, spoken on the 3rd most popular sports radio station in Dallas, catalogued by "DC Sports Bog" and then posted on Deadspin.


Just wait until some bored intern at ESPN decides to include it as part of the PTI discussion ring.
 
2013-12-17 05:09:31 PM  

Uzzah: PEYTON MANNING has shot 456 yards of bison, but can only carry 3 points back to the wagon.


Thread over.
 
2013-12-17 05:13:53 PM  

lennavan: Mikey1969: I never knew the joke, I'd seen that off and on, but never new what exactly it was about until I saw the comments. Awesome.

Oh, my memory was more nostalgic than that story about a pirated version of it.  As a kid, we all (everyone in my class) thought we were hilarious putting pizza toppings on that gravestone because of the commercial.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKspf06XuaQ


Yeah, i remember those commercials... They did provide some great comic relief as kids. Lucky for the bullies at the time, they figured out to quit using it as a threat.
 
2013-12-17 05:18:37 PM  
CSB: The Oregon Trail passed through the town that I grew up in as a kid. When they built the dam and moved the town, it buried the part of the trail, but we still had a street named Oregon Trail to commemorate it. Nobody in town caught dysentery AFAIK.
 
2013-12-17 06:00:35 PM  

Mikey1969: Yeah, i remember those commercials... They did provide some great comic relief as kids. Lucky for the bullies at the time, they figured out to quit using it as a threat.


... I'm curious.
 
2013-12-17 06:02:02 PM  

Joe_diGriz: Treygreen13: I can't imagine anything more confusing than a Barry Switzer quote filtered through Jerry Jones' brain, spoken on the 3rd most popular sports radio station in Dallas, catalogued by "DC Sports Bog" and then posted on Deadspin.

Just wait until some bored intern at ESPN decides to include it as part of the PTI discussion ring.


Don't give them any ideas, gawd.
 
2013-12-17 06:13:02 PM  

Di Atribe: Joe_diGriz: Treygreen13: I can't imagine anything more confusing than a Barry Switzer quote filtered through Jerry Jones' brain, spoken on the 3rd most popular sports radio station in Dallas, catalogued by "DC Sports Bog" and then posted on Deadspin.

Just wait until some bored intern at ESPN decides to include it as part of the PTI discussion ring.

Don't give them any ideas, gawd.


I love hearing truth about how the Cowboys suck. I just don't like lies.
 
2013-12-17 06:18:17 PM  
It was more like the "Custer's Last Stand" game with the Packers being the cowboy and the Cowboys being the Indian.
 
2013-12-17 06:25:48 PM  

Ryker's Peninsula: It was more like the "Custer's Last Stand" game with the Packers being the cowboy and the Cowboys being the Indian.


0.tqn.com
Oh, you mean the old porno game. I dunno, the Indian doesn't get to bang you for the first half of that game.
 
2013-12-17 06:32:46 PM  

skrame: Mikey1969: Yeah, i remember those commercials... They did provide some great comic relief as kids. Lucky for the bullies at the time, they figured out to quit using it as a threat.

... I'm curious.


Bully is staring you down, he tries to sound tough and asks "What do you want on your tombstone?". It kind of takes the wind out of his sails when your smart as reply makes all of the kids laugh.
 
2013-12-17 06:46:56 PM  
Oregan Trial FTW!!!!11!!1  YaaaAARRRrR BuDD-E!!!!111!!!!
 
2013-12-17 06:59:39 PM  
LOL nice job Subby.
 
2013-12-17 07:17:59 PM  

Treygreen13: Di Atribe: Joe_diGriz: Treygreen13: I can't imagine anything more confusing than a Barry Switzer quote filtered through Jerry Jones' brain, spoken on the 3rd most popular sports radio station in Dallas, catalogued by "DC Sports Bog" and then posted on Deadspin.

Just wait until some bored intern at ESPN decides to include it as part of the PTI discussion ring.

Don't give them any ideas, gawd.

I love hearing truth about how the Cowboys suck. I just don't like lies.


www.quickmeme.com
 
2013-12-17 07:57:56 PM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucyc50f9oak

about time they did a new one of these...
 
2013-12-17 08:23:10 PM  
if fark doesn't do threads of the week, they should start with this thread
 
2013-12-17 09:05:14 PM  

Treygreen13: Mikey1969: Treygreen13: I can't imagine anything more confusing than a Barry Switzer quote filtered through Jerry Jones' brain, spoken on the 3rd most popular sports radio station in Dallas, catalogued by "DC Sports Bog" and then posted on Deadspin.

Yeah, but it gave us a good headline...

Plus some good memories. I used to love going to the computer lab and play Oregon Trail. I never felt like I really learned anything in that game, unlike games like Number Munchers or Lemonade Stand.


You sound my age.

*check profile*

Exactly my age.
 
2013-12-17 10:13:35 PM  
I hate Ben and Skin if for no other reason than their constant hatred spewed for Pitbulls across the air waves. F them. The ticket still smashes those douche bags.
 
2013-12-17 10:25:07 PM  
"Coach, what do you think of your team's execution today?"

McKay quipped, "I'm all for it"
 
2013-12-17 11:07:28 PM  
"When the offense coordinator tells you to float the river crossings because you don't know how deep the water is: F that!  We're fording the river and I don't care how many oxen I lose."  -- Tony Romo
 
2013-12-18 01:31:44 AM  
Profess to being very numb and unsettled at the sudden passing of my father Monday, so I want to thank you all for giving me a much needed laugh tonight. Dad and I spent many a Sunday watching the NFL and I remember him telling me about watching Super Bowl III with the Jets winning thanks to Broadway Joe.  Sorry, just crying now and needed a laugh.  Sorry to thread jack.
 
2013-12-18 02:38:48 AM  
Sorry about the loss of your father, historynow. Best Wishes.
_______________________________________________


I wish Jerry would just shut up already.

/CowboysFan
//Sob
///*Hic*
 
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