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(CNN)   English: 737 slides off runway into the snow. DeltaSpeak: 737 "came in contact with snow adjacent to the runway." George Carlin on airlines: "pre-suck my genital situation"   (cnn.com) divider line 29
    More: Silly, English, runways, Wisconsin, George Carlin  
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2603 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2013 at 9:17 AM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-17 09:23:31 AM
Did the front fall off?
 
2013-12-17 09:24:47 AM
www.mtv.com
 
2013-12-17 09:26:18 AM
English: 737 slides off runway into the snow. DeltaSpeak: 737 "came in contact with snow adjacent to the runway." George Carlin on airlines: "pre-suck my genital situation"

Well that escalated quickly.
 
2013-12-17 09:26:27 AM
"I don't like words that hide the truth. I don't words that conceal reality. I don't like euphemisms, or euphemistic language. And American English is loaded with euphemisms. Cause Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. Americans have trouble facing the truth, so they invent the kind of a soft language to protest themselves from it, and it gets worse with every generation. For some reason, it just keeps getting worse."

/I miss George
 
2013-12-17 09:26:33 AM
Pre-board?

To get on before you get on?
 
2013-12-17 09:27:07 AM
Delta Flight 385 now arriving at Gate 8 ... Gate 9 ... Gate 10 ...
 
2013-12-17 09:35:51 AM
Get on the plane? Fark you, I'm getting IN the plane
 
2013-12-17 09:37:57 AM

KAVORKA: Pre-board?

To get on before you get on?


You can't get on after you've gotten on.
 
2013-12-17 09:38:49 AM
From the reports here, it sounds like the plane just drove off into the snow while taxing on the taxiway. Probably was not properly cleared and the pilot could not see where to go.
 
2013-12-17 09:46:03 AM

KarmicDisaster: From the reports here, it sounds like the plane just drove off into the snow while taxing on the taxiway. Probably was not properly cleared and the pilot could not see where to go.


Please bear in mind that to keep a 9006' X 150' runway "properly cleared" along with all of the adjacent turnoffs and taxiways, it would require total closure of the airport until all snow ceased.  In Madison, that would pretty much mean until May.
 
2013-12-17 09:49:48 AM

Earl Green: KarmicDisaster: From the reports here, it sounds like the plane just drove off into the snow while taxing on the taxiway. Probably was not properly cleared and the pilot could not see where to go.

Please bear in mind that to keep a 9006' X 150' runway "properly cleared" along with all of the adjacent turnoffs and taxiways, it would require total closure of the airport until all snow ceased.  In Madison, that would pretty much mean until May.


Guy was probably texting his GF on his phone.
 
2013-12-17 09:49:55 AM
The skit/rant/routine in question.  It's funny to read, but his delivery is amazing:

 As soon as they close the door to the aircraft, that's when they begin the safety lecture. I love the safety lecture. This is my favorite part of the airplane ride. I listen very carefully to the safety lecture, especially that part where they teach us how to use the seatbelts. Imagine this, here we are, a plane full of grown human beings, many of us partially educated, and they're actually taking time out to describe the intricate workings of a belt buckle.

"Place the small metal flap into the buckle." Well, I asked for clarification at that point. Over here please, over here, yes, thank you very much. Did I hear you correctly? Did you say place the small metal flap into the buckle or place the buckle over and around the small metal flap? I'm a simple man; I do not possess an engineering degree nor am I mechanically inclined. Sorry to have taken up so much of your time. Please continue with the wonderful safety lecture. Seatbelt--high-tech shiat.

The safety lecture continues. "In the unlikely event . ." This is a very suspect phrase, especially coming as it does from an industry that is willing to lie about arrival and departure times. "In the unlikely event of a sudden change in cabin pressure"--ROOF FLIES OFF! " . . An oxygen mask will drop down in front of you. Place the mask over your face and breathe normally." Well, I have no problem with that. I always breathe normally when I'm in a 600 mile an hour uncontrolled vertical dive. I also shiat normally.

They tell you to adjust YOUR oxygen mask before helping your child with his. I did not need to be told that. In fact, I'm probably going to be too busy screaming to help him at all. This will be a good time for him to learn self-reliance. If he can program his farking VCR, he could goddamn, jolly-well learn to adjust an oxygen mask. Fairly simple thing, just a little rubber band in the back is all it is. Not nearly as complicated as say, for instance, a seatbelt.

The safety lecture continues. "In the unlikely event of a water landing . . ." Well, what exactly is a water landing? Am I mistaken, or does this sound somewhat similar to CRASHING INTO THE OCEAN!? ". . . your seat cushion can be used as a floatation device." Well, imagine that, my seat cushion... Just what I need -- to float around the North Atlantic for several days -- clinging to a pillow full of beer farts...

The next sentence I hear is full of things that piss me off. "Before leaving the aircraft, please check around your immediate seating area for any personal belongings you might have brought onboard." Well, let's start with immediate seating area--SEAT! It's a goddamn seat! Check around your seat! "For any personal belongings." Well, what other kinds of belongings are there, besides personal--public belongings? Do these people honestly think I might be traveling with a fountain I stole from the park. "You might have brought onboard." Well, I might have brought my arrowhead collection--I didn't, so I'm not going to look for it! I am going to look for things I brought onboard, which seems to enhance my likelihood of finding something, wouldn't you say?

About this time, they tell you you'll be landing shortly. That sound to you like we're gonna miss the runway. Final approach is not very promising either, is it? Final is not a good word to be using on an airplane. Sometimes, the pilot will get on and he'll say, "We'll be on the ground in 15 minutes." Well, that's a little vague, isn't it?

Now we're taxiing in, she says, "Welcome to O'Hare International Airport . . ." Well, how can someone who is just arriving herself possibly welcome me to a place she isn't even at yet? Doesn't this violate some fundamental law of physics? We're only on the ground for 4 seconds; she's coming on like the farking mayor's wife! ". . . where the local time . ." Well, of course it's the local time. What did you think we were expecting -- the time in Pango Pango?

"Enjoy your stay in Chicago, or wherever your final destination might be." All destinations are final! That's what it means, destiny-final. If you haven't gotten where you're going, you aren't there yet.

"The captain has asked . . ." More shiat from the bogus captain. You know, for someone who's supposed to be flying an airplane, he's taking a mighty big interest in what I'm doing back here.". . . that you remain seated until he has brought the aircraft to a complete stop. Not a partial stop, cuz during a partial stop, I partially get up. "Continue to observe the no-smoking sign until well inside the terminal." It's physically impossible to observe the no-smoking sign even if you're standing just outside the door of the airplane, much less well inside the terminal. You can't even see the farking planes from well inside the terminal.

Which brings me to terminal--another unfortunate word to be used in association with air travel. And they use it all over the airport, don't they? Somehow I just can't get hungry at a place called the Terminal Snack bar. But, if you've ever eaten there, you know it IS an appropriate name.
 
2013-12-17 09:50:15 AM

KarmicDisaster: From the reports here, it sounds like the plane just drove off into the snow while taxing on the taxiway. Probably was not properly cleared and the pilot could not see where to go.


Right, so get out the shovel and kitty litter and they should have it out in a jiffy.  Next time, buy a plane with 4wheel drive.  Oh excuse me, tri-wheel drive.
 
2013-12-17 09:53:33 AM
A photo showed wintry weather conditions and emergency vehicles responding at the scene.

Well,god forbid they'd include it WITH THE FAKKING ARTICLE.
 
2013-12-17 09:55:41 AM
WTF was a 737 doing landing at Madison anyway? I didn't think the airport was big enough for those.

I'm always on one of the little Embraers when I go home.
 
2013-12-17 10:15:15 AM

Inflatable Rhetoric: KAVORKA: Pre-board?

To get on before you get on?

You can't get on after you've gotten on.


Unless it's bigger on the inside.
 
2013-12-17 10:19:03 AM

Earl Green: KarmicDisaster: From the reports here, it sounds like the plane just drove off into the snow while taxing on the taxiway. Probably was not properly cleared and the pilot could not see where to go.

Please bear in mind that to keep a 9006' X 150' runway "properly cleared" along with all of the adjacent turnoffs and taxiways, it would require total closure of the airport until all snow ceased.  In Madison, that would pretty much mean until May.


Surely you can't be serious.
 
2013-12-17 10:29:57 AM
The Delta flight, which had flown to Madison from Minneapolis/St. Paul, left the pavement and "came in contact with snow adjacent to the runway during taxi away from the runway," said Morgan Durrant, a spokesman for Delta Air Lines

Since when is an airline representative allowed to give out any information whatsoever?

At least he lied a little.
 
2013-12-17 10:32:52 AM
So a plane pilot either couldn't see in the conditions or the plane slid a bit. Somegow this equates to OMG, we're all gonna die.
 
2013-12-17 10:33:42 AM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Earl Green: KarmicDisaster: From the reports here, it sounds like the plane just drove off into the snow while taxing on the taxiway. Probably was not properly cleared and the pilot could not see where to go.

Please bear in mind that to keep a 9006' X 150' runway "properly cleared" along with all of the adjacent turnoffs and taxiways, it would require total closure of the airport until all snow ceased.  In Madison, that would pretty much mean until May.

Surely you can't be serious.


I am serious.  And stop calling me Shirley.

TBWCUMI, do you like Gladiator movies?
 
2013-12-17 10:37:38 AM

Earl Green: KarmicDisaster: From the reports here, it sounds like the plane just drove off into the snow while taxing on the taxiway. Probably was not properly cleared and the pilot could not see where to go.

Please bear in mind that to keep a 9006' X 150' runway "properly cleared" along with all of the adjacent turnoffs and taxiways, it would require total closure of the airport until all snow ceased.  In Madison, that would pretty much mean until May.


Uh, no. Its done all the time. Madison has a 2nd runway large enough for airliners (The 3rd is a little too short)which makes life for them a little easier. Clear one while using the other, then switch.

Even if they only had 1 runway, larger airports tend to be pretty good about keeping them clean enough until they get a long enough period between flights to clear it better. There are exceptions, though.
 
2013-12-17 10:45:48 AM
737 slides ... man that's one big slideshow  !
 
2013-12-17 10:53:01 AM

iron_city_ap: Earl Green: KarmicDisaster: From the reports here, it sounds like the plane just drove off into the snow while taxing on the taxiway. Probably was not properly cleared and the pilot could not see where to go.

Please bear in mind that to keep a 9006' X 150' runway "properly cleared" along with all of the adjacent turnoffs and taxiways, it would require total closure of the airport until all snow ceased.  In Madison, that would pretty much mean until May.

Uh, no. Its done all the time. Madison has a 2nd runway large enough for airliners (The 3rd is a little too short)which makes life for them a little easier. Clear one while using the other, then switch.

Even if they only had 1 runway, larger airports tend to be pretty good about keeping them clean enough until they get a long enough period between flights to clear it better. There are exceptions, though.


Without giving a resume (no, I don't have to be at the gym in 26 minutes), I do work at a northern airport and winter ops are part of my job.   So yes, circuit routes and alternating runway sweepings are part of the deal.  You got that right.

My point to the previous poster was what he/she may consider "properly cleared" in their mind doesn't necessarily coincide with the aviation version of "properly cleared."

We operate in the snow.  When it's coming down 2-3 inches per hour, it's all hands on deck to keep things moving.

Also, if crews only focused on runways and avoided taxiways, turnoffs, and ramps, then the airport becomes a giant aircraft carrier.  It's a complicated but beautiful ballet when it's going on.

The bottom line is that snow is slippery, nose gears go forward while turned sideways sometimes, and extraordinary caution must be used in all aspects of taxi and flight.
 
2013-12-17 11:13:46 AM
Earl Green:

The bottom line is that snow is slippery, nose gears go forward while turned sideways sometimes, and extraordinary caution must be used in all aspects of taxi and flight.

What's that have to do with snow?

www.aero-news.net

/has to be at the airport in 4 hours and 26 minutes
//CRJ, ugh
///worst parts of the MD80 married with the worst parts of the dash-8
 
2013-12-17 11:16:01 AM

Maud Dib: A photo showed wintry weather conditions and emergency vehicles responding at the scene.

Well,god forbid they'd include it WITH THE FAKKING ARTICLE.


Posting pictures on the intarwebs is hard!
 
2013-12-17 11:33:08 AM

Earl Green: iron_city_ap: Earl Green: KarmicDisaster: From the reports here, it sounds like the plane just drove off into the snow while taxing on the taxiway. Probably was not properly cleared and the pilot could not see where to go.

Please bear in mind that to keep a 9006' X 150' runway "properly cleared" along with all of the adjacent turnoffs and taxiways, it would require total closure of the airport until all snow ceased.  In Madison, that would pretty much mean until May.

Uh, no. Its done all the time. Madison has a 2nd runway large enough for airliners (The 3rd is a little too short)which makes life for them a little easier. Clear one while using the other, then switch.

Even if they only had 1 runway, larger airports tend to be pretty good about keeping them clean enough until they get a long enough period between flights to clear it better. There are exceptions, though.

Without giving a resume (no, I don't have to be at the gym in 26 minutes), I do work at a northern airport and winter ops are part of my job.   So yes, circuit routes and alternating runway sweepings are part of the deal.  You got that right.

My point to the previous poster was what he/she may consider "properly cleared" in their mind doesn't necessarily coincide with the aviation version of "properly cleared."

We operate in the snow.  When it's coming down 2-3 inches per hour, it's all hands on deck to keep things moving.

Also, if crews only focused on runways and avoided taxiways, turnoffs, and ramps, then the airport becomes a giant aircraft carrier.  It's a complicated but beautiful ballet when it's going on.

The bottom line is that snow is slippery, nose gears go forward while turned sideways sometimes, and extraordinary caution must be used in all aspects of taxi and flight.


I guess I somewhat misread your post. No doubt what the public considers 'cleared' and reality are kinda different. Snow isn't all that bad. It's the ice and hard packed snow that gets you. When the plane starts to slide, even if it's still going straight, the pucker factor goes up quickly.
 
2013-12-17 12:24:41 PM

iron_city_ap: Earl Green: iron_city_ap: Earl Green: KarmicDisaster: From the reports here, it sounds like the plane just drove off into the snow while taxing on the taxiway. Probably was not properly cleared and the pilot could not see where to go.

Please bear in mind that to keep a 9006' X 150' runway "properly cleared" along with all of the adjacent turnoffs and taxiways, it would require total closure of the airport until all snow ceased.  In Madison, that would pretty much mean until May.

Uh, no. Its done all the time. Madison has a 2nd runway large enough for airliners (The 3rd is a little too short)which makes life for them a little easier. Clear one while using the other, then switch.

Even if they only had 1 runway, larger airports tend to be pretty good about keeping them clean enough until they get a long enough period between flights to clear it better. There are exceptions, though.

Without giving a resume (no, I don't have to be at the gym in 26 minutes), I do work at a northern airport and winter ops are part of my job.   So yes, circuit routes and alternating runway sweepings are part of the deal.  You got that right.

My point to the previous poster was what he/she may consider "properly cleared" in their mind doesn't necessarily coincide with the aviation version of "properly cleared."

We operate in the snow.  When it's coming down 2-3 inches per hour, it's all hands on deck to keep things moving.

Also, if crews only focused on runways and avoided taxiways, turnoffs, and ramps, then the airport becomes a giant aircraft carrier.  It's a complicated but beautiful ballet when it's going on.

The bottom line is that snow is slippery, nose gears go forward while turned sideways sometimes, and extraordinary caution must be used in all aspects of taxi and flight.

I guess I somewhat misread your post. No doubt what the public considers 'cleared' and reality are kinda different. Snow isn't all that bad. It's the ice and hard packed snow that gets you. When the plane ...


Oh heck yes, the hard pack is like a perma-frost.
 
2013-12-17 05:57:12 PM

Inflatable Rhetoric: KAVORKA: Pre-board?

To get on before you get on?

You can't get on after you've gotten on.


Ah, but if you carry on some carrion, after you've gotten on you can carry on.

/misses George
 
2013-12-17 11:00:04 PM

KarmicDisaster: From the reports here, it sounds like the plane just drove off into the snow while taxing on the taxiway. Probably was not properly cleared and the pilot could not see where to go.


I'm not sure. From the ATC recordings, it sounds like it slid. The pilot says they "could not stop on the end of the runway", and later an emergency responder says "I'm pretty sure that over the last 100 feet, there is, I would say, nil on the braking".
 
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