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(WPTV)   "Salvation Army" may be one of the Twelve Pains of Christmas, but punching out one of their ringers because she said "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" is probably a bad idea   (wptv.com) divider line 83
    More: Dumbass, Salvation Army, Merry Christmas, Kristina Vindiola  
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2837 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2013 at 2:11 AM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-16 11:37:52 PM
War on Christmas? More like a Haymaker on Holidays, amirite?
 
2013-12-16 11:40:57 PM
Aren't the Salvation Army folks known for being fairly fundie to begin with?
 
2013-12-16 11:42:49 PM
And Peter said unto the Lord, "Lord, the merchants in the town square use generic holiday greetings in order to be more inclusive of other cultures.  What shall we do?"
And the Lord said, "Knock those motherfarkers out."
And the disciples did drive the merchants from the square, and the holidays were saved.
 
2013-12-16 11:55:47 PM

Mentat: And Peter said unto the Lord, "Lord, the merchants in the town square use generic holiday greetings in order to be more inclusive of other cultures.  What shall we do?"
And the Lord said, "Knock those motherfarkers out."
And the disciples did drive the merchants from the square, and the holidays were saved.


+1 candy cane in your stocking.
 
2013-12-16 11:56:58 PM
With a name like Salvation Army, you'd think they would fight back right?
 
2013-12-16 11:59:08 PM
farm3.staticflickr.com

"Well, Merry Christmas".
"Happy Holidays".
"I, uh, said Merry Christmas".
"Happy Holidays".
"Just say Merry Christmas".
"Management doesn't want us saying that..."
"JUST SAY IT"!

/Holiday Rapist
 
2013-12-16 11:59:55 PM

Mentat: And Peter said unto the Lord, "Lord, the merchants in the town square use generic holiday greetings in order to be more inclusive of other cultures.  What shall we do?"
And the Lord said, "Knock those motherfarkers out."
And the disciples did drive the merchants from the square, and the holidays were saved.


Awesome.
 
2013-12-17 12:08:24 AM

Mentat: And Peter said unto the Lord, "Lord, the merchants in the town square use generic holiday greetings in order to be more inclusive of other cultures.  What shall we do?"
And the Lord said, "Knock those motherfarkers out."
And the disciples did drive the merchants from the square, and the holidays were Christmas was saved.


*knocks you out, as the Lord said to*
 
2013-12-17 12:37:43 AM

mamoru: Mentat: And Peter said unto the Lord, "Lord, the merchants in the town square use generic holiday greetings in order to be more inclusive of other cultures.  What shall we do?"
And the Lord said, "Knock those motherfarkers out."
And the disciples did drive the merchants from the square, and the holidays were Christmas was saved.

*knocks you out, as the Lord said to*



So The Lord is Mama?
 
2013-12-17 12:43:55 AM
Why does he hate Advent?
 
2013-12-17 01:13:17 AM
 
2013-12-17 02:13:01 AM
That's exactly what White Jesus would do.
 
2013-12-17 02:19:15 AM
Another day, another CINO sighting.
 
2013-12-17 02:22:13 AM
Phoenix.

Walmart.

Was anyone expecting anything less?
 
2013-12-17 02:22:30 AM
The war on Christmas continues with the Wal- Mart offensive...
 
2013-12-17 02:22:31 AM
What if she said "Happy Holy Days!" instead?
 
2013-12-17 02:25:31 AM
Well, the bell ringers outside the JC Penney I used to work were all ex-cons, so idk if I'd take a swing at one. That being said, who the hell cares what they say? I used to get my nails done at a Vietnamese shop, and on Chinese New Year I'd get the little red envelope w/money in it. I'd say Happy New Year, and that was the end of it, no need to do bodily harm because they included me in their celebration.
 
2013-12-17 02:26:39 AM
New Years is a Holiday.

Saying, "Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year" is cumbersome and unecessary. Happy Holidays isn't just a PC thing, it's for every day people who don't really care what you're celebrating, and is inclusive.

Seriously. Happy Holidays and Seasons Greetings have been around since the 50's, you know, from before the Jim Crow laws were repealed, so I don't think they were born out of deep concern over political correctness. Just regular old fashioned sloth.

If you feel like getting mad when you hear "Happy Holidays" you can have another shortened phrase and DIAF.
 
2013-12-17 02:26:46 AM
Well, given that the Salvation Army is itself a pack o' Christian fundies, I would generally suspect he was referring to the fact that even Christians have more than one holiday in the month of December.  Not necessarily religious ones, but c'mon, the national holidays alone are near-endless.  New years' eve?  Boxing day?  Pearl Harbor day?  Nobel Prize day? Beethoven's birthday?  Wright Brothers' day?  The feast of St. Nicholas (Dec. 6)?  The first day of winter (solstice, Dec 21)?

We're not exactly a people that are shy about declaring random reasons to party, is what I'm getting at.  December's had "holidays" plural since long before we tried to be multicultural about it.
 
2013-12-17 02:36:08 AM
static.someecards.com

Protip, if 'Punching Someone' is the same as 'Loving Jesus ' to you, you're doing it wrong!

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-17 02:40:17 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-17 02:42:10 AM
Happy Chanukah!

Mazel Tov.
 
2013-12-17 02:42:18 AM

TuteTibiImperes: Aren't the Salvation Army folks known for being fairly fundie to begin with?


Nearly to the point of being classified a hate group. They are their own denomination of religion, with a nutty and cult-like paramilitary upper organization that damn near rivals the Scientologists for pure creepiness. Even the Scientologists don't arrange your goddamn marriages.

They are a religious sect built around effecting conservative/theocratic social change, not a charity organization in any classic sense. When they do 'help', they are -REALLY- selective about who they will and will not help (usually along conservative culture war lines, and occasionally openlyethnic lines), and how many strings they put on it when they do.
 
2013-12-17 02:44:28 AM
Thanks a heap, Bill O'Reilly , you turd-gargling asshat. You just had to get the ninnies and the freaks all riled up to pump up your ratings, didn't you?
 
2013-12-17 02:45:25 AM
Jesus what's wrong with you people!
 
2013-12-17 02:47:53 AM

Brainsick: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 648x486]


Christ, who painted that? Either that bike is five-feet tall at the withers, or Jesus is a midget!
 
2013-12-17 02:48:27 AM
I knew a Salvation Army doll who was a knockout.

I took her to Havana to win a bet.

/guy
 
2013-12-17 02:53:58 AM
Drink your gin and tonikkah...
Smoke your marijaunikkah
 
2013-12-17 02:54:09 AM
Some might call it the "December Debate."

I have never heard anyone call it that ever. Probably because it's stupid.
 
2013-12-17 02:57:44 AM
Christians brainwashed by Fox News. A dangerous situation.
 
2013-12-17 02:59:59 AM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: I knew a Salvation Army doll who was a knockout.

I took her to Havana to win a bet.

/guy


How was the Baccardi?
 
2013-12-17 03:08:38 AM

Ed Grubermann: Thanks a heap, Bill O'Reilly , you turd-gargling asshat. You just had to get the ninnies and the freaks all riled up to pump up your ratings, didn't you?


And I'll bet the assailant went inside and bought a copy of both Glenn Beck's and Sarah Palin's books.
 
2013-12-17 03:08:53 AM

haolegirl: Well, the bell ringers outside the JC Penney I used to work were all ex-cons, so idk if I'd take a swing at one. That being said, who the hell cares what they say? I used to get my nails done at a Vietnamese shop, and on Chinese New Year I'd get the little red envelope w/money in it. I'd say Happy New Year, and that was the end of it, no need to do bodily harm because they included me in their celebration.


Note to self: Spend next Chinese New Year in Chinatown. They're giving away money.
 
2013-12-17 03:17:00 AM

Researcher: New Years is a Holiday.

Saying, "Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year" is cumbersome and unecessary. Happy Holidays isn't just a PC thing, it's for every day people who don't really care what you're celebrating, and is inclusive.

Seriously. Happy Holidays and Seasons Greetings have been around since the 50's, you know, from before the Jim Crow laws were repealed, so I don't think they were born out of deep concern over political correctness. Just regular old fashioned sloth.

If you feel like getting mad when you hear "Happy Holidays" you can have another shortened phrase and DIAF.


Thanks for the inspiration. From now on, if people tell me "Merry Christmas" I'll assume they want we to go fark myself in the new year
 
2013-12-17 03:18:21 AM
FTFA: "I'm a Christian," she said, "and that is what it means to me, you know it's a celebration of Christ's birth."
No its a pagan festival celebrating the winter solstice that early Christians co opted for their own uses.
 
2013-12-17 03:31:21 AM
The religion of peace, etc...
 
2013-12-17 03:34:39 AM

Ed Grubermann: Brainsick: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 648x486]

Christ, who painted that? Either that bike is five-feet tall at the withers, or Jesus is a midget!


It was originally a dinosaur.

digitprop.com

/papercraft at  http://digitprop.com/2012/01/jesus-rides-a-dinosaur/
 
2013-12-17 03:45:46 AM

Ivan the Tolerable: TuteTibiImperes: Aren't the Salvation Army folks known for being fairly fundie to begin with?

Nearly to the point of being classified a hate group. They are their own denomination of religion, with a nutty and cult-like paramilitary upper organization that damn near rivals the Scientologists for pure creepiness. Even the Scientologists don't arrange your goddamn marriages.

They are a religious sect built around effecting conservative/theocratic social change, not a charity organization in any classic sense. When they do 'help', they are -REALLY- selective about who they will and will not help (usually along conservative culture war lines, and occasionally openlyethnic lines), and how many strings they put on it when they do.


I never heard any of that.  The only thing I've heard is they won't let you in their homeless shelters if you're drinking or doing other drugs.
 
2013-12-17 03:48:47 AM

gfid: The only thing I've heard is they won't let you in their homeless shelters if you're drinking or doing other drugs.


The SA shelters are well known for discriminating against members of the LGBT community who are homeless - especially LGBT Teens, which make up a HUGE chunk of the non-mentally ill homeless in many large cities.

There's a reason people were so easily lead to believe someone in the SA leadership had wished death to gays. Because they have a history of discrimination against them.
 
2013-12-17 03:49:11 AM

gfid: Ivan the Tolerable: TuteTibiImperes: Aren't the Salvation Army folks known for being fairly fundie to begin with?

Nearly to the point of being classified a hate group. They are their own denomination of religion, with a nutty and cult-like paramilitary upper organization that damn near rivals the Scientologists for pure creepiness. Even the Scientologists don't arrange your goddamn marriages.

They are a religious sect built around effecting conservative/theocratic social change, not a charity organization in any classic sense. When they do 'help', they are -REALLY- selective about who they will and will not help (usually along conservative culture war lines, and occasionally openlyethnic lines), and how many strings they put on it when they do.

I never heard any of that.  The only thing I've heard is they won't let you in their homeless shelters if you're drinking or doing other drugs.


Like most other Christian charities, their primary purpose is to attract or seek out those who are in emotional turmoil. People going through trauma are most susceptible to the Christianity Virus.
 
2013-12-17 04:01:08 AM

hardinparamedic: gfid: The only thing I've heard is they won't let you in their homeless shelters if you're drinking or doing other drugs.

The SA shelters are well known for discriminating against members of the LGBT community who are homeless - especially LGBT Teens, which make up a HUGE chunk of the non-mentally ill homeless in many large cities.

There's a reason people were so easily lead to believe someone in the SA leadership had wished death to gays. Because they have a history of discrimination against them.


If they're anti LGBT, I disagree with that stance, but I hardly think that alone makes them a cult.
 
2013-12-17 04:01:52 AM
It's rather bizarre that the salvation army, of all people, would be saying "Happy Holidays".  Whatever happened to the "salvation army" part of who they are?
 
2013-12-17 04:06:07 AM

SilentStrider: mamoru: Mentat: And Peter said unto the Lord, "Lord, the merchants in the town square use generic holiday greetings in order to be more inclusive of other cultures.  What shall we do?"
And the Lord said, "Knock those motherfarkers out."
And the disciples did drive the merchants from the square, and the holidays were Christmas was saved.

*knocks you out, as the Lord said to*


So The Lord is Mama?


Only if you're Jewish.
 
2013-12-17 04:09:32 AM
Advent, St. Lucy's Day, 12 days of Christmas, St. Stephen's Day, St. John The Evangelist's Day, Holy Innocents' Day, St. Sylvester's Day.

"Happy Holidays" is the only logical greeting.
 
2013-12-17 04:10:48 AM

gfid: I disagree with that stance, but I hardly think that alone makes them a cult.


I don't think they're a cult, just to clarify, but I do think they're a militantly fundamentalist organization.
 
2013-12-17 04:40:10 AM

hardinparamedic: gfid: I disagree with that stance, but I hardly think that alone makes them a cult.

I don't think they're a cult, just to clarify, but I do think they're a militantly fundamentalist organization.


I won't argue with that - someone else called them a cult.
 
2013-12-17 04:51:07 AM
To adequately replace "Happy Holidays" you have to (at an absolute minimum) say "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year," that being the short version of the principal holidayS wishES that are included (we are well past Thanksgivukkah this year, and some of the other nearby holidays are a bit obscure - no offense, but you probably wouldn't know them if you aren't, you know, into the season).

But New Year deniers, athNYEists as I might like to usually call them if I had any need for a usual thing to like to call them, want everyone to just say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays," leaving out the futuristic New Year and its glorious Eve altogether. Permitting not even the oblique tag-along nod to the New Year that you get in the already-watered-down "Happy Holidays."

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I have had enough of this WAR ON THE NEW YEAR. It's time to take the country back from New Year Deniers who don't respect our traditions.
 
2013-12-17 05:20:26 AM

Elmo Jones: Advent, St. Lucy's Day, 12 days of Christmas, St. Stephen's Day, St. John The Evangelist's Day, Holy Innocents' Day, St. Sylvester's Day.

"Happy Holidays" is the only logical greeting.


Boxing Day, Three Kings Day, etc.
 
2013-12-17 05:21:08 AM
All righty, I may be a bit drunk and just starting to feel the vicodin kick in, but I gotta say I've worked for the Salvation Army for almost ten years - five years in admin and the last five in the trenches (a battered women's shelter and a homeless shelter). The only fundies are the officers, and none of them are involved in the programs (shelters, group homes, and the like). Officers spend their time in meetings and doing PR. They don't do any actual work is what I'm saying.

Programs are almost always full. When programs are filled, TSA is happy, because full programs = $. They don't care if the ass in a bed is gay, straight, trans, atheist, drunk, stoned, high, completely batshiat cray, etc. One shelter I work in is "wet" - you will not be denied a bed if you are wasted.

The people ringing the bells are paid employees (with a few volunteers) who have all passed criminal background checks. They make more money ringing a bell than I do for getting families off the streets. Speaking of bell ringers, TSA would not exist if there was no xmas. But, every time I pass a bell ringer and get that, "oh, okay, just walk by and don't give to the poor" look, it takes everything I have to not start beating their heads into the floor.

So, I guess I'm trying to say that TSA is not full of fundies or bigots or a hate group. Sadly, it has its share of douches, and they make the most noise/get the most attention. But us peons, the ones doing the actual work? We get shiat done.
 
2013-12-17 06:12:47 AM
A third shopper pointed to her faith as to why she says "Merry Christmas."
"I'm a Christian," she said, "and that is what it means to me, you know it's a celebration of Christ's birth."

But... you're wishing others happy holidays, whatever those may be, not reaffirming faith to all comers. When you know a person will be celebrating Christmas, of course, say 'Merry Christmas', but otherwise as a generic greeting and well-wishing or en masse, such as with emails, cover everything so you do not look silly.
 
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