If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Wisconsin State Journal)   When you crash through the ice on an ATV your emergency call is to: A) 911, B) your momma, or c) a bartender   (host.madison.com) divider line 27
    More: Scary, ATV, emergency number, surface water rescue, thermal imaging camera, ice, beaver dams  
•       •       •

2396 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2013 at 1:12 AM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-17 01:18:02 AM
"a bartender from Springs Tavern reported that he had revived a call from a man who said he had fallen through Beaver Dam Lake."

Sounds like the bartender revived a call from a certain reporter, too.
 
2013-12-17 01:18:19 AM
If you have a huge bar tab, hell yeah!
 
2013-12-17 01:19:46 AM
C
 
2013-12-17 01:20:37 AM
c) need more alcohol to keep warm, those lakes are cold!
 
2013-12-17 01:22:17 AM
Officer Wegner and Deputy Taylor Nehls discovered the male subject had driven his 4 wheel All Terrain Vehicle off of the ice and into open water.

...

This is the first reported ice breakthrough in the county for the season


I guess "open water" is an ice thickness of zero.

A 32-year-old Beaver Dam man was taken to the hospital as a precaution and later cited with OWI first.

Huh?
 
2013-12-17 01:40:15 AM

gfid: Officer Wegner and Deputy Taylor Nehls discovered the male subject had driven his 4 wheel All Terrain Vehicle off of the ice and into open water.

...

This is the first reported ice breakthrough in the county for the season

I guess "open water" is an ice thickness of zero.

A 32-year-old Beaver Dam man was taken to the hospital as a precaution and later cited with OWI first.

Huh?


I think a TARDIS was involved. It is a police box, after all.
 
2013-12-17 01:45:57 AM
What else are you going to do with all that ice if not make cocktails?
 
2013-12-17 01:48:41 AM
..a bartender from Springs Tavern reported that he revived a call....


sylphalchemist.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-17 01:51:46 AM
So if the guy got an OWI, did his mommy kiss it and make it all better?
 
2013-12-17 01:54:30 AM
Doesn't alcohol save lives in cold weather? I thought that's why Saint Bernard rescue dogs always have that little barrel of whiskey around their necks.
 
2013-12-17 02:37:15 AM

Mark Ratner: Doesn't alcohol save lives in cold weather? I thought that's why Saint Bernard rescue dogs always have that little barrel of whiskey around their necks.


Brandy.  That's why you did not get laid in the movie.
 
2013-12-17 02:41:04 AM
I am from Wisconsin and when I was younger we were drinking and driving around on the lake in front of my house. The truck broke through and sunk. After a few thousand dollars(you have to hire divers at like $800 an  hour) and a ruined car I thought the D.U.I and trip to jail would top it off. But the cop said that since its not a road they couldn't charge me. This guy should have stayed in his car.
 
2013-12-17 02:59:49 AM
This man would obviously choose b):
cdn.bleacherreport.net
 
2013-12-17 03:18:59 AM
Obviously he was calling to complain when he saw that that his drink was watered down and over iced
 
2013-12-17 04:13:19 AM
Booze will get you through times with no ATV better than an ATV will get you through times with no booze. Especially if you crash it into the lake.
 
2013-12-17 04:33:40 AM
Who has their bartender on speed-dial?!
 
2013-12-17 05:43:49 AM
 
2013-12-17 05:45:27 AM
Oops. My link is SFW. Sorry, I forgot to put that on there.
 
2013-12-17 07:40:41 AM

OooShiny: Who has their bartender on speed-dial?!


Raises hand
 
2013-12-17 08:12:26 AM

elfbeater: I am from Wisconsin and when I was younger we were drinking and driving around on the lake in front of my house. The truck broke through and sunk. After a few thousand dollars(you have to hire divers at like $800 an  hour) and a ruined car I thought the D.U.I and trip to jail would top it off. But the cop said that since its not a road they couldn't charge me. This guy should have stayed in his car.


The rules for operating motorized vehicles has changed over the last few years, since at one time, no one got in trouble for drinking snowmobiling.  Not that any new laws were passed, just how the cops, judges and lawyers have took to enforcing them.  I don't know who can own lakes in WI, but in MI, all lakes are state property; even if one person owns all surrounding property.

/although, if you see someone out on any open vehicle like a snowmobile or quad, 75% of the time, they aren't sober.
 
2013-12-17 08:54:01 AM

lack of warmth: The rules for operating motorized vehicles has changed over the last few years, since at one time, no one got in trouble for drinking snowmobiling.  Not that any new laws were passed, just how the cops, judges and lawyers have took to enforcing them.  I don't know who can own lakes in WI, but in MI, all lakes are state property; even if one person owns all surrounding property.


They actually DID change the law now that DUI's on an ATV/Boat have some teeth and can be used by your auto insurer against you.  I believe it started January 2012.
 
2013-12-17 09:34:11 AM
Beaver Dam Fire Department's hovercraft was dispatched to the location

They have a hovercraft!? I want one! We've been raising money for a year now to buy a new truck, but fark that. I'm now taking donations for the purchase of our very first hovercraft. EIP, if you're interested in contributing.
 
2013-12-17 11:17:53 AM
Hey it's Wisconsin. The guy's mom and the 911 dispatcher were probably drinking at the bar anyway so the call to the bartender makes sense.
 
2013-12-17 11:28:20 AM

Ken VeryBigLiar: They actually DID change the law now that DUI's on an ATV/Boat have some teeth and can be used by your auto insurer against you. I believe it started January 2012.


So, an insurance lobbyist saw dollar signs and got the neo-prohibionists involved. Nice.
 
2013-12-17 11:45:40 AM

wesmon: Hey it's Wisconsin. The guy's mom and the 911 dispatcher were probably drinking at the bar anyway so the call to the bartender makes sense.


I agree.  As soon as I saw the Madison.com logo, it had to be C.

/lived there for a short time
//still can't find my liver
 
2013-12-17 03:13:08 PM
Must've been a chess player.  Always thinking at least two moves ahead.
 
2013-12-17 03:33:24 PM
D: Jimmy Johns
 
Displayed 27 of 27 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report