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(Onion AV Club)   James Cameron wants you to think of "Avatar" as "The Godfather"   (avclub.com) divider line 98
    More: Fail, The Godfather, avatars, Godfather  
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1637 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 16 Dec 2013 at 4:51 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-16 04:21:34 PM
Um, no. Maybe Dances with Wolves, which had no sequels.
 
2013-12-16 04:36:26 PM
And I want James Cameron to get a grip on himself and fark off.  Don't think that's going to happen, either.
 
2013-12-16 04:39:29 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-12-16 04:41:41 PM
When I think of "Avatar" I think of "Ishtar".  Because they were both as watchable as each other.
 
2013-12-16 04:43:17 PM

Marcus Aurelius: When I think of "Avatar" I think of "Ishtar".  Because they were both as watchable as each other.


And here I was thinking that I was the only person who thought Avatar was awful.
 
2013-12-16 04:44:13 PM
Coppola's retirement fund?
 
2013-12-16 04:46:22 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: And I want James Cameron to get a grip on himself and fark off.  Don't think that's going to happen, either.


I love the scene where he rides the biggest wolf to show the Tatanka that he is a member of their tribe foretold by the ancients.
 
2013-12-16 04:53:48 PM
The parts of The Godfather III with Sophia Coppola?  Yeah, I can see that.
 
2013-12-16 04:59:03 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Marcus Aurelius: When I think of "Avatar" I think of "Ishtar".  Because they were both as watchable as each other.

And here I was thinking that I was the only person who thought Avatar was awful.


I can see why Cameron went with 3D, since the characters didn't even make it to the two dimensional stage.  Utter dreck.
 
2013-12-16 04:59:21 PM

Marcus Aurelius


When I think of "Avatar" I think of "Ishtar". Because they were both as watchable as each other.


And because they both end in 'tar'.

Because I've seen 'Avatar' only once and 'Ishtar' never, my personal comparison ends there.
 
2013-12-16 04:59:38 PM
Nooooooope.
 
2013-12-16 04:59:51 PM
Yeah and I would like to think my shiat is chocolate ice cream but it aint happening.
 
2013-12-16 05:02:23 PM
Loved the scene with Tsu'tey  at the toll booth.
 
2013-12-16 05:03:54 PM
So the second one will be modestly better than the first and it will all go down hill from there?
 
2013-12-16 05:04:05 PM
It's been quite a while since "Avatar" came out and I really only hear one person clamoring for sequels. And that person would be James Cameron.

One would hope he's hire some actual writers to flesh out this world. Of course, he's probably just hired Damon Lindelof for extra suckage.
 
2013-12-16 05:05:55 PM
You want me to think of "The Godfather" James?  Ok then:

I imagine you heading somewhere (don't care where).  As you slow down towards the toll plaza and are about to pay the toll, they close up.  Just before you realize what's going on, a whole crew of shooters comes right up on each side with sub machine guns in hand and unload on your car.

Swiss cheese director and no one saw anything.

The end.
 
2013-12-16 05:06:54 PM
Avatar was a steaming heap of colorful shiat.

But people bought tickets in droves.

Maybe to watch the technology.  It was colorful.

I can't see billion dollar receipts for four more movies.

And he'd better make them fast.

The series has absolutely no resonance in the culture.

'Jake-centric'?  Who the hell was Jake?

But still, the movie-going public is idiotic.  They'll buy lots of tickets again.

It will make a lot of money.

And have still zero affect on the popular imagination.

Might as well make live action versions of the Monchichis.
 
2013-12-16 05:08:58 PM

TV's Vinnie: Loved the scene with Tsu'tey  at the toll booth.


LOL!!!!!!

Who plays Abe Vigoda's character in "Avatar"?

"Tell Eywa it was only business. I always liked her."
 
2013-12-16 05:12:00 PM
The only reason I saw the first one was because of all the cool 3d wiz bang. After watching that dreadful movie (but still cool looking) there is no way in hell I'm paying to see any sequels and sit through DWWolves 2.

Unless he drops a bomb and somehow figures out how to show it in holodeck.
 
2013-12-16 05:13:17 PM
I'll give Cameron an offer he cannae refuse.
 
2013-12-16 05:15:13 PM
I didn't realize so many people compared it to Dances With Wolves. I always thought it more closely resembled Fern Gully with all the environmentalism.
 
2013-12-16 05:16:20 PM

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Might as well make live action versions of the Monchichis.


That'd be hilarious. My wife would go see that.
 
2013-12-16 05:16:59 PM
Overrated and too damn long?
 
2013-12-16 05:17:09 PM

scottydoesntknow: I didn't realize so many people compared it to Dances With Wolves. I always thought it more closely resembled Fern Gully with all the environmentalism.


I think the best summation was "Dances with Thundersmurfs in Ferngully".
 
2013-12-16 05:18:56 PM
Well both movies were long.
 
2013-12-16 05:19:06 PM

scottydoesntknow: I didn't realize so many people compared it to Dances With Wolves. I always thought it more closely resembled Fern Gully with all the environmentalism.


I've always called it "Dances With Smurfs".
 
2013-12-16 05:22:49 PM

Marcus Aurelius: When I think of "Avatar" I think of "Ishtar".  Because they were both as watchable as each other.


When I think of Avatar, I think of the Nick property, the one which became 'the Last Airbender' movie.   Avatar reruns are still fun.    Cameron should have changed his movie's name out of respect for this superior idea.  Fark him.
 
2013-12-16 05:23:08 PM
I thought it was a solid, in not very original, movie. It wasn't a classic like Godfather, but it never reached the depths of suck that Transformers 2 or Green Lantern plumbed. Plus, I'm a sucker for Wayne Barlowe creature design and I liked the Roger Dean inspired visuals so I was willing to forgive the shortcomings of the plot because it did deliver on the eye candy. Again, it wasn't GREAT, but it doesn't quite deserve to be called terrible.
 
2013-12-16 05:23:37 PM

scottydoesntknow: I didn't realize so many people compared it to Dances With Wolves. I always thought it more closely resembled Fern Gully with all the environmentalism.


I thought it was closer to Fern Gully as well, but I can see the parallels with Dances With Wolves too.

Dances with Wolves: Fern Gully Edition, in Space.

/didn't think Avatar was all that great
 
2013-12-16 05:24:02 PM
It was a perfectly mediocre movie.  It took no risks with characterization, or plot, or theme.  It was visually impressive, but I don't think that alone means a movie merits a sequel (let alone three of them).
 
2013-12-16 05:24:28 PM

Flappyhead: Well both movies were long.


And not as deep as they thought they were. A Man called Horse was a better film than Dances with Wolves.
 
2013-12-16 05:24:45 PM
The third one will suck?
 
2013-12-16 05:25:31 PM

Mad_Radhu: Plus, I'm a sucker for Wayne Barlowe creature design


Yeah, me too. Although having WB do the creature design meant there were all sorts of questions like "Why didn't the Na'vi have doubled forelimbs or peripheral eyes like every other farking animal on Pandora?"
 
2013-12-16 05:28:43 PM

Rhypskallion: Marcus Aurelius: When I think of "Avatar" I think of "Ishtar".  Because they were both as watchable as each other.

When I think of Avatar, I think of the Nick property, the one which became 'the Last Airbender' movie.   Avatar reruns are still fun.    Cameron should have changed his movie's name out of respect for this superior idea.  Fark him.


I agree.  Especially since Cameron's movie only barely takes advantage of the whole 'avatar' idea.
 
2013-12-16 05:37:09 PM

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Avatar was a steaming heap of colorful shiat.

But people bought tickets in droves.

Maybe to watch the technology.  It was colorful.

I can't see billion dollar receipts for four more movies.

And he'd better make them fast.

The series has absolutely no resonance in the culture.

'Jake-centric'?  Who the hell was Jake?

But still, the movie-going public is idiotic.  They'll buy lots of tickets again.

It will make a lot of money.

And have still zero affect on the popular imagination.

Might as well make live action versions of the Monchichis.


^
Yes, YEs and YES!
 
2013-12-16 05:37:44 PM
 
2013-12-16 05:41:55 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Marcus Aurelius: When I think of "Avatar" I think of "Ishtar".  Because they were both as watchable as each other.

And here I was thinking that I was the only person who thought Avatar was awful.


Add me.
 
wee [TotalFark]
2013-12-16 05:47:16 PM

Marcus Aurelius: When I think of "Avatar" I think of "Ishtar".  Because they were both as watchable as each other.


Pretty much where I am as well.  One of the few movies I wanted to walk out of. Avatar was terrible in nearly every regard.
 
2013-12-16 05:54:24 PM

theorellior: It's been quite a while since "Avatar" came out and I really only hear one person clamoring for sequels. And that person would be James Cameron.

One would hope he's hire some actual writers to flesh out this world. Of course, he's probably just hired Damon Lindelof for extra suckage.


I thought it was funny when Cameron was talking about 3 sequels and how the technology was in development to get his vision out. I didnt know it took some kinda high tech to write a story. But I never really heard anyone getting excited about sequels either.
 
2013-12-16 05:56:08 PM

GonzoNihilist: It insists upon itself


ROBERT DUVALL!!!

/I liked Avatar
 
2013-12-16 06:01:36 PM
James Cameron should be the one directing the new Star Wars movies.

This is the guy that did T2 and Aliens, lest we forget.
 
2013-12-16 06:02:57 PM
I watched about 45 minutes of the movie before I couldn't stand the "Humans are Bastards" trope anymore.
 
2013-12-16 06:14:15 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Marcus Aurelius: When I think of "Avatar" I think of "Ishtar".  Because they were both as watchable as each other.

And here I was thinking that I was the only person who thought Avatar was awful.


Titanic was better than Avatar.
 
2013-12-16 06:16:41 PM

theorellior: Mad_Radhu: Plus, I'm a sucker for Wayne Barlowe creature design

Yeah, me too. Although having WB do the creature design meant there were all sorts of questions like "Why didn't the Na'vi have doubled forelimbs or peripheral eyes like every other farking animal on Pandora?"


If they were smart, they would make that a plot point in the sequels, where the Na'vi wind up being a non-native species that colonized the moon thousands or years prior and genetically engineered all of the native species to be controllable via a biotech brain link, and even turned the plant life into a giant neural network. At some point, the colony fails and descends into barbarism and forgets its origins.

Over the course of the sequels, you have the offworld origin of the Na'vi discovered when a ancient facility is found preserved somewhere, and a signal is sent out to re-establish contact. Just when the second wave of mercs from Earth arrive to finish the job from the first movie, the spacefaring Na'vi arrive with some FTL-capable ships and hilarity ensues. Ties up a lot of weird questions from the first movie, while giving you enough plot for the sequel.
 
2013-12-16 06:23:00 PM
Avatar is no Godfather, but it's a real Godfather 3, I'll tell ya.
 
2013-12-16 06:26:47 PM

quizzical: It was a perfectly mediocre movie.  It took no risks with characterization, or plot, or theme.  It was visually impressive, but I don't think that alone means a movie merits a sequel (let alone three of them).


Very true. It was cliché after cliché. The instant I heard "Only three people have ever tamed that beast" I would have bet my house that Jake will be the forth.

The sequels are not going to do anything like the business the first one did. They'll do okay, maybe even big money compared to whatever else is out at the time, but they won't do the huge business the first one did. That was down to 3D, and that's commonplace now.
 
2013-12-16 06:30:29 PM
I don't see how Avatar was as awful as you guys are clamoring to describe it as. I will grant that it wasn't the height of cinema but it was still a fun movie.

You guys remember fun, right?
 
2013-12-16 06:37:35 PM
Hoping to save production costs wherever it can, James Cameron's Avatar series has relocated to New Zealand

He's making more? What, picking up where the military decided to just rain death on the planet from high orbit?

Esroc: I don't see how Avatar was as awful as you guys are clamoring to describe it as. I will grant that it wasn't the height of cinema but it was still a fun movie.

You guys remember fun, right?


I remember watching Avatar when I was a kid, and it was called Ferngully. James should go back to driving trucks.
 
2013-12-16 06:37:52 PM
He's 59 years-old. The first Avatar sequel isn't scheduled to come out until 2016. Considering his traditionally glacial production pace and his love of deep sea diving. He'll be challenging GRRM for the Robert Jordan "Most likely to die before creative project is finished" award.
 
2013-12-16 06:37:57 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Overrated and too damn long?


this.
 
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