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(Telegraph)   Millions of Brits wake up to find porn has vanished from the Internet   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 78
    More: Scary, parental controls, video game consoles, filter  
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7173 clicks; posted to Geek » on 16 Dec 2013 at 3:40 PM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-16 01:52:44 PM
For the childrens.
 
2013-12-16 01:53:36 PM
Millions of Brits wake up were too lazy to research alternate methods to find porn on has vanished from the Internet, go back to bed in their basements
 
2013-12-16 01:56:33 PM
It was as if millions of Brits cried out in orgasm, and then were silenced.
 
2013-12-16 02:00:04 PM
Why don't we just start electing six-year-olds to make these decisions for us?
 
2013-12-16 02:01:02 PM
horrornews.net

It's,,it's not fair!
 
2013-12-16 02:02:58 PM
Those who opt to switch on the parental controls will have to choose between three set filter levels - strict, moderate and light. All three filters cover pornography, 'obscene and tasteless' content, hate and self-harm, drugs, alcohol and tobacco and dating sites.

Moderate and strict also block sites featuring nudity, weapons and violence, gambling and social networking; strict also blocks fashion and beauty sites, file-sharing, games and media streaming. Additional websites can be added to the list manually to be allowed or blocked.


At this time I'd like to take a moment and wish our British Farkers a fond farewell.
 
2013-12-16 02:10:59 PM
This solves nothing. Kids will still find Playboy and National Geographic magazines under Dad's bed.
 
2013-12-16 02:20:43 PM
I'm sure nothing will go wrong from having a list complied of all of the people that have chosen to opt-in.
 
2013-12-16 02:23:57 PM
Please turn to page 3.
 
2013-12-16 02:38:30 PM
Okay let's see... UK farker with BT Internet here.

Google "porn"...

Phew! It's all still there. Crisis over.

/didn't rtfa. Should I have?
 
2013-12-16 02:39:41 PM
www.ronanlyons.com

So rather than parenting your crotch fruit, everyone else's rights are restricted so your precious babes can learn how to bypass the filter themselves.
 
2013-12-16 03:06:04 PM
Damn. There goes the stereotype of the British being more reasonable about nudity than we Americans.
 
2013-12-16 03:19:45 PM
Those who opt to switch on the parental controls will have to choose between three set filter levels - strict, moderate and light. All three filters cover pornography,

25% of the internet. Go on.

'obscene and tasteless' content,

We're creating a better world.  A world without Buzzfeed or the Fark Politics tab. All of them....better worlds.

hate and self-harm,

We're up to 60% of the internet

drugs, alcohol and tobacco and dating sites.

What's a tobacco and dating site?

Moderate and strict also block sites featuring nudity,

Life....finds a way.

weapons and violence,

I thought this was already covered by dating sites.

gambling and social networking;

...now we're up to 85% of the internet...

strict also blocks fashion and beauty sites,

and nothing of value was lost...

file-sharing, games and media streaming.

Translation: Welcome to allrecipes.com. How may we assist you?
 
2013-12-16 03:27:17 PM
"All three filters cover pornography, 'obscene and tasteless' content..."

How did they get a filter to apply to British food?
 
2013-12-16 03:34:28 PM

Slaxl: Okay let's see... UK farker with BT Internet here.

Google "porn"...

Phew! It's all still there. Crisis over.

/didn't rtfa. Should I have?


Says existing customers have to opt in, but new customers have it switched on automatically.  So call em up and get that dirty, sweaty, raunchy porn off your internets.
 
2013-12-16 03:43:50 PM

Sleeping Monkey: Why don't we just start electing six-year-olds to make these decisions for us?


Ice cream for every meal!
 
2013-12-16 03:43:52 PM

bdub77: drugs, alcohol and tobacco and dating sites.

What's a tobacco and dating site?


I'm pretty sure I've seen at least one site that caters to smoking fetishists.
 
2013-12-16 03:46:49 PM

NuttierThanEver: [horrornews.net image 448x305]

It's,,it's not fair!


My knowledge of this particular Twilight Zone bit comes entirely from Futurama, but couldn't the guy go find an eyeglasses store or optometrist's office?
 
2013-12-16 03:46:56 PM
Wasn't it also going to filter "Objectionable political views"?
 
2013-12-16 03:47:16 PM
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
 
2013-12-16 03:49:41 PM
Ban children from the Internet.
 
2013-12-16 03:52:29 PM
Aide:  President Madagascar!

PM: Yes?

Aide:   BT is blocking access to Porn  on the Internet!

PM:  SHUT.  DOWN.  ALL FAPPING.
 
2013-12-16 03:52:40 PM
Isn't google the same way with the safesearch defaulted to moderate? I had to turn it off iirc.
 
2013-12-16 03:52:53 PM

NuttierThanEver: [horrornews.net image 448x305]

It's,,it's not fair!


Wrong pic.

www.theamericanconservative.com
 
2013-12-16 03:55:00 PM
And just like that...
3.bp.blogspot.com
Poof. It's gone.
 
2013-12-16 03:55:35 PM

walktoanarcade: Ban children from the Internet.


But then xbox live would disappear too....

Wait I'm not seeing a downside
 
2013-12-16 04:09:50 PM

Sleeping Monkey: Why don't we just start electing six-year-olds to make these decisions for us?


The Brits elected the Tories, so effectively, they did
 
2013-12-16 04:15:35 PM
Just wait until the Owners start censoring the entire Internet.  they'll claim to be doing it to 'protect you'.   the real reason is because the can't control the News on the Internet like they can on big business owned "news" networks.


if you can control the News, you can control the Nation.
 
2013-12-16 04:15:59 PM
Bill Clinton tried this in the 90s too.
 
2013-12-16 04:22:01 PM

Contribution Corsair: walktoanarcade: Ban children from the Internet.

But then xbox live would disappear too....

Wait I'm not seeing a downside


I try to help.
 
2013-12-16 04:22:07 PM

Igor Jakovsky: Isn't google the same way with the safesearch defaulted to moderate? I had to turn it off iirc.


yes, but when your wife says, "wot here luv, why dont we turns off the pornography on our BT and whatnot, cheerio, and somesuch" (or whatever youse britards say), what happens then?!
 
2013-12-16 04:26:17 PM
So basically for new customers only, they get a checkbox or whatever when they install their BT internet "Do you want our porn filter on? Yes/No".

Not really seeing a story here...it is probably a crap filter that will miss lots it should, and not let through lots that should be fine, which is why I doubt BT really wanted to implement it as it will just lead to a massive ongoing spike of support calls and maintenance overhead, but the choice is with the customer, so who cares?
 
2013-12-16 04:26:46 PM

rkiller1: This solves nothing. Kids will still find Playboy and National Geographic magazines under Dad's bed.



Kids will circumvent the filters in the time it takes their parents to cook them dinner.
 
2013-12-16 04:32:25 PM
Now to make Fark.com disappear from the Brits.

http://www.foobies.com/
/Links to Naked people will get a site banned, Isn't that right Drew, who scubbed Fark's nasties links a few years back.
 
2013-12-16 04:41:13 PM

sheep snorter: Now to make Fark.com disappear from the Brits.

http://www.foobies.com/
/Links to Naked people will get a site banned, Isn't that right Drew, who scubbed Fark's nasties links a few years back.


That's because Google doesn't like that stuff and won't pay you for ads if they are there. It's not that he was disowned them, just moved them off the front page.

That was the explanation given at the time.
 
2013-12-16 04:42:47 PM
i881.photobucket.com">
 
2013-12-16 04:46:55 PM
So basically like that week I spent at a resort in Utah.  Except they can opt out.  I had to use a VPN to read my favorite, apparently profane, web comic.
 
2013-12-16 04:54:18 PM
Well then.

I guess Time Warner doesn't sound so bad after all.
 
2013-12-16 04:59:06 PM
Sharia law! Sharia law!

Wait a sec, the derpers who cry "Sharia law!" would support this measure.
 
2013-12-16 05:02:33 PM

Mr.Tangent: Sharia law! Sharia law!

Wait a sec, the derpers who cry "Sharia law!" would support this measure.


Not really, those types are the ones that depend the most on porn.
 
2013-12-16 05:14:07 PM
That would end my sex life.
 
2013-12-16 05:24:16 PM
nooooooooooooooo.com
 
2013-12-16 05:28:02 PM
Cue the rapid development of a lucrative cottage industry of teenagers teaching the rest how to get around the filters
 
2013-12-16 05:30:43 PM
Wish that I was the owner of a VPN provider in the UK right now..
 
2013-12-16 05:32:36 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: [www.ronanlyons.com image 580x480]

So rather than parenting your crotch fruit, everyone else's rights are restricted so your precious babes can learn how to bypass the filter themselves.


It's a checkbox you farking idiot, but keep trotting out that same tired old line about "rights" and "how to parent" every time the subject comes up.
 
2013-12-16 05:43:05 PM
...from my cold, dead pecker.
 
2013-12-16 05:47:41 PM

jtown: So basically like that week I spent at a resort in Utah.  Except they can opt out.  I had to use a VPN to read my favorite, apparently profane, web comic.


One time, XKCD got blocked at work. The block only lasted a couple days. Apparently, "humor/jokes" aren't allowed unless the IT guys like it.
 
2013-12-16 05:50:58 PM

Tobin_Lam: jtown: So basically like that week I spent at a resort in Utah.  Except they can opt out.  I had to use a VPN to read my favorite, apparently profane, web comic.

One time, XKCD got blocked at work. The block only lasted a couple days. Apparently, "humor/jokes" aren't allowed unless the IT guys like it.


Your IT guys suck.

They should use a VPN not change the filter to suit their preferences.
 
2013-12-16 06:13:44 PM
Existing BT customers will be contacted during the course of 2014, and asked whether or not they want to activate the controls.

That should be a fun phone conversation.
 
2013-12-16 06:31:22 PM

fusillade762: Existing BT customers will be contacted during the course of 2014, and asked whether or not they want to activate the controls.

That should be a fun phone conversation.


When I worked briefly on the phones for DirecTV, we used to always make the people complaining about the PPV porn purchases speak the name of the movie they were calling about.

Me: Could you confirm the name of the show, so that I know we're on the same page?
Them: I'm not sure what it was called.
Me: I'd hate to turn off things ordered correctly.
Them: I think it might have been called, Feed momma lots of black meat 4.
Me: Ah, there it is. Thank you, ma'am. I'll extend that run for an additional days viewing. Thank you for calling DirecTV. Have a wonderful evening!
 
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