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(Social Reader)   "If Santa really lived at the North Pole, he would have drowned long ago." Climate change is ruining Christmas   (socialreader.com) divider line 51
    More: Sad, North Pole, climate change, critical habitat, International Center for Tropical Agriculture  
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1930 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Dec 2013 at 2:29 PM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-16 02:31:13 PM
He probably would have starved or frozen to death long before drowning.
 
2013-12-16 02:35:27 PM
Santa died along time ago. He stopped bringing me presents when I went of to college... and he never brings me any presents no matter how many sherries and mince pies I leave out for him Xmas eve.

Thought the bastard was stiffing me... but maybe he is dead... makes sense.
 
2013-12-16 02:36:32 PM
What about Superman's fortress of solitude? Have the comics addressed that?
 
2013-12-16 02:37:09 PM
So, this is going to be the addition to the usual "War on Christmas" and "How much would the 12 days of Christmas cost today" stories they run every Christmas.

//Swear I read this last year, and the year before
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-12-16 02:41:13 PM
Of course he's dead.  The Romans crucified him as a sacrifice to the God of retail 2000 years ago.
 
2013-12-16 02:41:44 PM

CleanAndPure: Santa died along time ago. He stopped bringing me presents when I went of to college... and he never brings me any presents no matter how many sherries and mince pies I leave out for him Xmas eve.

Thought the bastard was stiffing me... but maybe he is dead... makes sense.


remember that drunk fat chick at the dorm Xmas party?  Three words..."ho, ho, ho"
 
2013-12-16 02:42:03 PM
Meanwhile, in the real world instead of bullsh*t fantasy nonsense land

Arctic sea ice volume up 50%


Dear Fark. If you're going to green light this sh*t at least provide us with a roll of toilet paper to wipe our asses with.
 
2013-12-16 02:42:03 PM
So now you've proven Santa isn't white, he can't swim? Who's racist now, Libs?
 
2013-12-16 02:42:24 PM
Oh please, that "North Pole" crap is for the kids.  Santa lives in Morocco.
 
2013-12-16 02:43:35 PM
Santa needs to drill for oil and open shipping lanes.
 
2013-12-16 02:44:38 PM
Purely from a logistics standpoint, wouldn't it make more sense for Santa to set up shop somewhere closer to the equator for better route efficiency?
 
2013-12-16 02:47:02 PM
He should totally move to Egypt then.

news.nawaret.com
 
2013-12-16 02:47:09 PM
The elves demanding a decent wage will put an end to Christmas.
 
2013-12-16 02:47:47 PM
 
2013-12-16 02:48:18 PM
www.john-daly.com
Santa, need a ride?
 
2013-12-16 02:48:31 PM

indarwinsshadow: Meanwhile, in the real world instead of bullsh*t fantasy nonsense land

Arctic sea ice volume up 50%


Dear Fark. If you're going to green light this sh*t at least provide us with a roll of toilet paper to wipe our asses with.


So we can pollute all we want with no ill effects? Thank heavens!

fark you 'fat bore'. This truth is really convienant.
 
2013-12-16 02:48:48 PM
He could just move to egypt
 
2013-12-16 02:49:44 PM

indarwinsshadow: Meanwhile, in the real world instead of bullsh*t fantasy nonsense land

Arctic sea ice volume up 50%


Dear Fark. If you're going to green light this sh*t at least provide us with a roll of toilet paper to wipe our asses with.


When people lose the ability to believe in something, they gain the ability to believe in everything.

There are very few people in the world today who believe in a supernatural creature which lives up in the sky, but belief in such superstitions as astrology, séances, kaballah, spiritualism, etc., are growing.

Global warming, in the face of overwhelming scientific evidence to the contrary, is just another manifestation of this superstition, and all true believers will ignore the evidence right in front of their face.
 
2013-12-16 02:50:21 PM
The Reindeer can fly to food. Santa is fat so he can just float to the nearest land mass.
 
2013-12-16 02:52:50 PM

indarwinsshadow: Meanwhile, in the real world instead of bullsh*t fantasy nonsense land

Arctic sea ice volume up 50%


Dear Fark. If you're going to green light this sh*t at least provide us with a roll of toilet paper to wipe our asses with.


Interesting how you left off the subtitle of that headline

But 2013 volume still among lowest of past 30 years, study finds


Or, alternatively phrased, "indwarwinsshadow is an intentional liar, who has exactly zero shame"
 
2013-12-16 02:57:20 PM
Cariboo droppings ! the article links to a thirteen year-old article about a temporary condition that occurs every so often. Also, it's probably safe to assume that Santa does not live on the Artic Ocean, therefore the condition of summer sea-ice is irrelevant to his continued well-being.

climate change is bad, but Santa is quite safe
 
2013-12-16 02:57:49 PM

ikanreed: indarwinsshadow: Meanwhile, in the real world instead of bullsh*t fantasy nonsense land

Arctic sea ice volume up 50%


Dear Fark. If you're going to green light this sh*t at least provide us with a roll of toilet paper to wipe our asses with.

Interesting how you left off the subtitle of that headline

But 2013 volume still among lowest of past 30 years, study finds


Or, alternatively phrased, "indwarwinsshadow is an intentional liar, who has exactly zero shame"


And one year does not a trend make.
 
2013-12-16 02:57:59 PM
Nah - he'd be safe. I think Canuckistan has put a Timmy's up there.
 
2013-12-16 02:59:34 PM

indarwinsshadow: Meanwhile, in the real world instead of bullsh*t fantasy nonsense land

Arctic sea ice volume up 50%


Dear Fark. If you're going to green light this sh*t at least provide us with a roll of toilet paper to wipe our asses with.


Racist.
 
2013-12-16 03:07:52 PM

shotbyadam: Polar ice caps aren't shrinking though.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-16 03:13:03 PM

RedTank: Santa needs to drill for oil and open shipping lanes.


Then he'd better watch out for China's territorial claim.  It's only a matter of time before China realizes that the North Pole is (and always has been) Chinese territory.
 
2013-12-16 03:13:50 PM

indarwinsshadow: Meanwhile, in the real world instead of bullsh*t fantasy nonsense land

Arctic sea ice volume up 50%


Dear Fark. If you're going to green light this sh*t at least provide us with a roll of toilet paper to wipe our asses with.



I thought only Libby Libtards asked for handouts.

Bring your own toilet paper, you taker.
 
2013-12-16 03:16:52 PM
But... But... Algore?
 
2013-12-16 03:20:36 PM

JonBuck: ikanreed: But 2013 volume still among lowest of past 30 years, study finds

And one year does not a trend make.



Being among the lowest in 30 years sort of indicates a trend.

Is it a challenge to wrap your mind around that?
 
2013-12-16 03:26:00 PM

inclemency: indarwinsshadow: Meanwhile, in the real world instead of bullsh*t fantasy nonsense land

Arctic sea ice volume up 50%


Dear Fark. If you're going to green light this sh*t at least provide us with a roll of toilet paper to wipe our asses with.

So we can pollute all we want with no ill effects? Thank heavens!

fark you 'fat bore'. This truth is really convienant.


What an ass, posting a link with "this isn't the end of the world" news. I think we should just drive up to the north pole with some hair dryers that run on petrol and teach this guy a lesson.
 
2013-12-16 03:26:22 PM
Drown? Starve??? He's farking magic.

God you guys are dumb.
 
2013-12-16 03:26:27 PM

jshine: RedTank: Santa needs to drill for oil and open shipping lanes.

Then he'd better watch out for China's territorial claim.  It's only a matter of time before China realizes that the North Pole is (and always has been) Chinese territory.


Well Santa does wear a lot of red.....

.... Oh my God!
 
2013-12-16 03:26:47 PM

Pangea: JonBuck: ikanreed: But 2013 volume still among lowest of past 30 years, study finds

And one year does not a trend make.


Being among the lowest in 30 years sort of indicates a trend.

Is it a challenge to wrap your mind around that?


None of the people you quoted were disagreeing.  Only the person I quoted was a tremendous liar.
 
2013-12-16 03:28:39 PM

jshine: Then he'd better watch out for China's territorial claim. It's only a matter of time before China realizes that the North Pole is (and always has been) Chinese territory.


Siberia is a Chinese territory?  Does Russia know?
 
2013-12-16 03:29:49 PM
There are very few people in the world today who believe in a supernatural creature which lives up in the sky, but belief in such superstitions as astrology, séances, kaballah, spiritualism, etc., are growing.


I'm sorry, which world is this again?
 
2013-12-16 03:36:09 PM

ikanreed: Pangea: JonBuck: ikanreed: But 2013 volume still among lowest of past 30 years, study finds

And one year does not a trend make.


Being among the lowest in 30 years sort of indicates a trend.

Is it a challenge to wrap your mind around that?

None of the people you quoted were disagreeing.  Only the person I quoted was a tremendous liar.


That's not how I read it.
The response to "2013 has one of the lowest volumes" was "One year doesn't indicate a trend"

But whatevah.
 
2013-12-16 03:39:11 PM

Pangea: ikanreed: Pangea: JonBuck: ikanreed: But 2013 volume still among lowest of past 30 years, study finds

And one year does not a trend make.


Being among the lowest in 30 years sort of indicates a trend.

Is it a challenge to wrap your mind around that?

None of the people you quoted were disagreeing.  Only the person I quoted was a tremendous liar.

That's not how I read it.
The response to "2013 has one of the lowest volumes" was "One year doesn't indicate a trend"

But whatevah.


I was pointing out that the supposed 50% gain in ice volume this year is meaningless because it doesn't indicate a long-term trend. The long-term downward slope is obvious from the data.
 
2013-12-16 03:41:26 PM
JonBuck:I was pointing out that the supposed 50% gain in ice volume this year is meaningless because it doesn't indicate a long-term trend. The long-term downward slope is obvious from the data.

Great. I seem to have failed at the Internet.
 
2013-12-16 03:49:21 PM
One of the things that never seems to get mentioned when reports of "the lowest level of Arctic Ice in 30 years" is reported is that satellite records of  Arctic Ice only go back - wait for it - about 30 years, having started  in 1979. The amount of satellite data we have is essentially so small as to be meaningless.

If you start looking at data from all sources, we still know little, but we do know that the Arctic has melted before. We know that Nuclear Subs surfaced at the North Pole in 1958. We know that in 1906 the ice melted enough that the Northwest Passage, sought by explorers for centuries as a possible trade route, was first successfully navigated.  We know that the Vikings settled Greenland six or seven hundred years ago and farmed there.

So, -given the data we have- "the lowest ice in 30 years" ain't no big deal. Then we note that the melting trend at least paused this year, and that the planet hasn't warmed in 17 straight years.... I think I'll go back to worrying about how Santa gets down chimneys instead.
 
2013-12-16 04:04:27 PM
Why don't you libtards go up there and go swimming!
 
2013-12-16 04:13:30 PM

Ivo Shandor: shotbyadam: Polar ice caps aren't shrinking though.

[i.imgur.com image 640x479]


The REAL chart
i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-16 04:24:17 PM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Ivo Shandor: shotbyadam: Polar ice caps aren't shrinking though.

[i.imgur.com image 640x479]

The REAL chart
[i.imgur.com image 648x498]


Nice.
 
2013-12-16 04:38:05 PM

ikanreed: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Ivo Shandor: shotbyadam: Polar ice caps aren't shrinking though.

[i.imgur.com image 640x479]

The REAL chart
[i.imgur.com image 648x498]

Nice.


It's the graph from the icy knoll.
 
2013-12-16 04:51:14 PM
So an article about the North pole spends 1st full paragraph writing about the Summer season in Australia... so cool. I hope the Von Trapp family and all the Hapsburgs are doing well down there... me, I enjoy Schnitzel, Heuriger wine, and sweet afternoons on the banks of the Danube all summer long! Stopped reading there...

/Yeah, reindeer meet!  30-06 is a good caribou Rifle... Good steaks on the Barbie
//Yeah, Northwest Passage... cut down on shipping costs west to far east
/// tripple slashies to show I know the game!
//// Shouldn't this be 1 / before V? Fark numeral system...
 
2013-12-16 05:28:23 PM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Ivo Shandor: shotbyadam: Polar ice caps aren't shrinking though.

[i.imgur.com image 640x479]

The REAL chart


Nice to see the "unskewed" version. Deal with it libtards.
 
2013-12-16 06:21:53 PM
Climate Change

The religion more improbable than even Scientology, but right tup there with Heaven's Gate
 
2013-12-16 06:37:40 PM
I have long maintained that Santa has an undersea base, like an Arctic Atlantis.  The reindeer still summer over in Finland, naturally.

I'd hate to be the one trying to breed candy-cane-striped seaweed, though.
 
2013-12-16 07:15:52 PM

jshine: He probably would have starved or frozen to death long before drowning.


Santa has lots to eat. Fish, sea mammals, reindeer--about 250,000 years worth of cookies and milk--not to mention wine from some of the more sophisicated countries (Sherry, Port, Red, White, mulled).

He'll never go hungry. He can always eat the elves.
 
2013-12-16 07:20:32 PM

img.fark.net

This NSA surveillance photo, captured by drone, shows what

the US Government believes to be the

Strategic Sugar Reserves of Egypt.

Tip o' the hat to Sniderman for the photo

 
2013-12-16 07:23:12 PM
Santa may be more of a survivor than you think. Check out today's New Adventures of Queen Victoria, which addresses this very issue.
 
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