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Headline of the Year contests to be held this week, with the last quarterfinal contest coming this afternoon. Also, some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 12/8 - 12/14 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-12-16 1:06:19 PM (14 comments) | Permalink
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1399 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Dec 2013 at 1:08 PM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



This week kicks off our official Headline of the Year contest. I'm finishing up the last mainpage quarterfinal thread, which will have voting enabled through tomorrow morning, and then all of the mainpage and subtab headlines will be coming at you this week, starting with the Mainpage contest tomorrow and the subtab contests tomorrow through Thursday, with supplemental contests after.

This has been one of the better years for headlines. Thanks to the submitters who do so much to make us all laugh. Well done, the lot of you.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-12-08 to Sat 2013-12-14:

img.fark.net  Guy who cut off his arm and inspired the movie "127 Hours" is arrested for domestic violence. I'm wagering he used a right hook  

img.fark.net  Subby equips Tin Foil Hat. +2 Stamina -3 Paranoia  

img.fark.net  American government gets Snowden  

img.fark.net  A Saudi Arabian Boeing / Had serious problems in slowing / It wrote off a truck / And the captain yelled 'F*CK / "The damn plane just wouldn't stop going"  

img.fark.net  Rolling Stones songs blared into the ocean fail to scare 50,000 tons of trapped herring back out to sea. RELEASE THE NICKELBACKEN  

img.fark.net  Scientists conclude that an ancient lake on Mars may have at one time supported life. Then again, they said the same thing about the East River  

img.fark.net  Deaf people are saddened to learn that Nelson Mandela pickle hopped the yam bridge with digressive hat monkeys on fester twelve  

img.fark.net  *DING* You are now free to move about the cabin and choke the living shiat out of the asshole in 17E that has been blabbing nonstop on his cellphone since Cleveland  

img.fark.net  Children in China are being taught kung fu as self-defence against air pollution. It's the Desolation of Smog  

img.fark.net  Two more Pakistani polo workers killed, government says to look out for armed men yelling Marco  

img.fark.net  The coin that JFK would have tossed before the 1963 Army-Navy game will be used 50 years later. It will probably be heads  


Sports:

img.fark.net  Ohio State yearly guide to getting to the national championship checklist: 1. Play no one [X] 2. Be named Ohio State [X] 3. Don't lose [ ]  

img.fark.net  Matt Prater breaks Tom Dempsey's 43-year-old field goal record by half a foot  

img.fark.net  South Carolina football player Jadeveon Clowney ticketed for going 110 mph. No word on the fate of the other 20 people in the car  


Geek:

img.fark.net  Scientists discover there are huge reserves of fresh water under the rocks and stones at the bottom of the ocean, water flowing underground, which we could remove. You may ask yourself, how do I work this?  

img.fark.net  Coolant leak disrupting communications with International Space Station. They say their Chambers coil is overloading their Comm system  

img.fark.net  Second code found in DNA. First reports have it as ↑↑↓↓←→←→ B A  


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  After 15 years on Law and Order SVU, Dann Florek decides he is finally DONE DONE  

img.fark.net  Kanye West does his Kanye best at the Kanye fest before a Kanye guest disturbs the Kanye nest with the way Kanye dressed and you end up with Kanye stressed and pressed to kick out that Kanye pest  

img.fark.net  Ben Affleck says paparazzi scare his children. Although not as much as when the kids find out their dad was in "Gigli"  


Politics:

img.fark.net  Manager of HealthCare.gov calls for investigation of botched management of HealthCare.gov and a report be delivered to the manager of HealthCare.gov so the management of HealthCare.gov can be properly managed  

img.fark.net  So...how's everyone's favorite healthcare law doing? Mmm? Ohh, Arkansas, aren't you a spry little bugger. Look at you. *cries* They just liberalize so fast these days. *weeps* I wanna have more states  

img.fark.net  Conservatives are upset that Obama "snubbed" the death of Margaret Thatcher, whose 27-year imprisonment and dauntless fight for the downtrodden led to the freedom of an entire people  


Business:

img.fark.net  Adidas and Nike locked in fierce battle to determine whose extruded plastic running shoes in colors that only occur in radioactive cooling ponds are the best  

img.fark.net  Nigerian state oil company has mysteriously failed to account for nearly $50 billion in crude oil sales. Goodluck finding that  

img.fark.net  Sprint and T-Mobile are in talks to merge; what could possibly go  


· · ·
(view entire blog)


14 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2013-12-16 01:15:30 PM
Hey Drew, I've got a headline for ya: A Fridge Too Far!
 
2013-12-16 01:24:54 PM
About 20 mins away from the Round 4 mainpage quarterfinal thread. Keep an eye out, folks...
 
2013-12-16 01:31:34 PM

Unfreakable: About 20 mins away from the Round 4 mainpage quarterfinal thread. Keep an eye out, folks...


anything for TFers to get a chance at or is Context/Puns and Wordplay contests all that's left?
 
2013-12-16 01:31:40 PM

Unfreakable: About 20 mins away from the Round 4 mainpage quarterfinal thread. Keep an eye out, folks...


AAHHH!!!

*dives under desk*
 
2013-12-16 01:33:22 PM
Bah.  Doesn't have the Free Mandela headline.
 
2013-12-16 01:34:17 PM

somedude210: anything for TFers to get a chance at or is Context/Puns and Wordplay contests all that's left?


Just the latter, although I have so many context headlines this year that I might make a prelim contest to cut it down if I have too many candidates. Depends on how many really strong candidates there are after I go through it.

xanadian: AAHHH!!!

*dives under desk*


DON'T LEAVE YOUR POST!
 
2013-12-16 01:35:33 PM

Galloping Galoshes: Bah.  Doesn't have the Free Mandela headline.


That came in last week
 
2013-12-16 01:42:38 PM

Galloping Galoshes: Bah.  Doesn't have the Free Mandela headline.


I believe that was last week.

Unfreakable: DON'T LEAVE YOUR POST!


...yes, boss
 
2013-12-16 02:03:30 PM

xanadian: Galloping Galoshes: Bah.  Doesn't have the Free Mandela headline.

I believe that was last week.

Unfreakable: DON'T LEAVE YOUR POST!

...yes, boss


Don't make me come back there
 
2013-12-16 02:04:56 PM
The coin that JFK would have tossed before the 1963 Army-Navy game will be used 50 years later. It will probably be heads

I'm really pulling for that one
 
2013-12-16 02:21:39 PM

Galloping Galoshes: Bah.  Doesn't have the Free Mandela headline.


that's already a contender for HOTY.
 
2013-12-16 02:31:46 PM

Unfreakable: Galloping Galoshes: Bah.  Doesn't have the Free Mandela headline.

That came in last week


But, if I recall correctly, it was a repeat.
 
2013-12-16 02:35:29 PM

Galloping Galoshes: Unfreakable: Galloping Galoshes: Bah.  Doesn't have the Free Mandela headline.

That came in last week

But, if I recall correctly, it was a repeat.


That doesn't exclude it.
 
2013-12-16 02:42:33 PM
Hahaha...

 "A Fridge too far..."

Next time on my hands and knees, crawling for that last beer - even in a black-out - I'm going to remember that.

 /// ItchyBrother whistles the theme music  (I saw the movie on the TV-Looky-Box quite recently)
//// (Huh? : "TV-Looky-Box"?   What, you don't watch SquidBillies on Cartoon Network at three in the morning???)
 
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