Headline of the Year contests to be held this week, with the last quarterfinal contest coming this afternoon. Also, some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 12/8 - 12/14
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-12-16 1:06:19 PM (14 comments) | Permalink
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This week kicks off our official Headline of the Year contest. I'm finishing up the last mainpage quarterfinal thread, which will have voting enabled through tomorrow morning, and then all of the mainpage and subtab headlines will be coming at you this week, starting with the Mainpage contest tomorrow and the subtab contests tomorrow through Thursday, with supplemental contests after.
This has been one of the better years for headlines. Thanks to the submitters who do so much to make us all laugh. Well done, the lot of you.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-12-08 to Sat 2013-12-14:
Guy who cut off his arm and inspired the movie "127 Hours" is arrested for domestic violence. I'm wagering he used a right hook
Subby equips Tin Foil Hat. +2 Stamina -3 Paranoia
American government gets Snowden
A Saudi Arabian Boeing / Had serious problems in slowing / It wrote off a truck / And the captain yelled 'F*CK / "The damn plane just wouldn't stop going"
Rolling Stones songs blared into the ocean fail to scare 50,000 tons of trapped herring back out to sea. RELEASE THE NICKELBACKEN
Scientists conclude that an ancient lake on Mars may have at one time supported life. Then again, they said the same thing about the East River
Deaf people are saddened to learn that Nelson Mandela pickle hopped the yam bridge with digressive hat monkeys on fester twelve
*DING* You are now free to move about the cabin and choke the living shiat out of the asshole in 17E that has been blabbing nonstop on his cellphone since Cleveland
Children in China are being taught kung fu as self-defence against air pollution. It's the Desolation of Smog
Two more Pakistani polo workers killed, government says to look out for armed men yelling Marco
The coin that JFK would have tossed before the 1963 Army-Navy game will be used 50 years later. It will probably be heads
Ohio State yearly guide to getting to the national championship checklist: 1. Play no one [X] 2. Be named Ohio State [X] 3. Don't lose [ ]
Matt Prater breaks Tom Dempsey's 43-year-old field goal record by half a foot
South Carolina football player Jadeveon Clowney ticketed for going 110 mph. No word on the fate of the other 20 people in the car
Scientists discover there are huge reserves of fresh water under the rocks and stones at the bottom of the ocean, water flowing underground, which we could remove. You may ask yourself, how do I work this?
Coolant leak disrupting communications with International Space Station. They say their Chambers coil is overloading their Comm system
Second code found in DNA. First reports have it as ↑↑↓↓←→←→ B A
After 15 years on Law and Order SVU, Dann Florek decides he is finally DONE DONE
Kanye West does his Kanye best at the Kanye fest before a Kanye guest disturbs the Kanye nest with the way Kanye dressed and you end up with Kanye stressed and pressed to kick out that Kanye pest
Ben Affleck says paparazzi scare his children. Although not as much as when the kids find out their dad was in "Gigli"
Manager of HealthCare.gov calls for investigation of botched management of HealthCare.gov and a report be delivered to the manager of HealthCare.gov so the management of HealthCare.gov can be properly managed
So...how's everyone's favorite healthcare law doing? Mmm? Ohh, Arkansas, aren't you a spry little bugger. Look at you. *cries* They just liberalize so fast these days. *weeps* I wanna have more states
Conservatives are upset that Obama "snubbed" the death of Margaret Thatcher, whose 27-year imprisonment and dauntless fight for the downtrodden led to the freedom of an entire people
Adidas and Nike locked in fierce battle to determine whose extruded plastic running shoes in colors that only occur in radioactive cooling ponds are the best
Nigerian state oil company has mysteriously failed to account for nearly $50 billion in crude oil sales. Goodluck finding that
Sprint and T-Mobile are in talks to merge; what could possibly go
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