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(New York Daily News)   Grandmother refuses to buy toy for her grandson, so naturally he punches her   (nydailynews.com) divider line 38
    More: Dumbass, grandmother, TSG  
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5150 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Dec 2013 at 1:46 AM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-16 01:48:36 AM  
Rockem Sockem Grandmother.
 
2013-12-16 01:49:15 AM  
Well how did YOU get new toys as a kid?
 
2013-12-16 01:50:49 AM  
How else is she supposed to learn?  next time Grandma buys the farking toy.
 
2013-12-16 01:52:35 AM  
As a guy who's not far off of having to bury his grandmother, I would like to slap the ever loving shiat out of that little ba*tard.
 
2013-12-16 01:53:36 AM  
Was the kid 3? That would be a minor problem. Was he 33, and living in her basement? Then each of them has a problem.
 
2013-12-16 01:54:25 AM  
A grandmother that says no? Where can I get one of those for my snowflake?
 
2013-12-16 01:54:28 AM  
I'm old before my time because I think about half the kids out there need to be whacked at least once a week.

The other half daily.
 
2013-12-16 01:55:18 AM  

fc07.deviantart.net


TOY STORE!

 
2013-12-16 01:56:47 AM  
A witness called the police?
On an 11 year old?

Guess that saved the kid from his grandfather for a few hours?

\I am assuming the kid is not a MMA cage fighter
 
2013-12-16 01:57:04 AM  

gregscott: Was the kid 3? That would be a minor problem. Was he 33, and living in her basement? Then each of them has a problem.


11
 
2013-12-16 01:58:20 AM  
Buy two.  He's not sharing with Kaytelin.
 
2013-12-16 01:59:57 AM  
This sounds like a job for
www.cvltnation.com
 
2013-12-16 02:00:58 AM  
Was he autistic or allergic to peanut butter? Perhaps he was running a spanking deficit.
 
2013-12-16 02:35:44 AM  

teenage mutant ninja rapist: As a guy who's not far off of having to bury his grandmother, I would like to slap the ever loving shiat out of that little ba*tard.


I had some snark ready but you just derailed it. God, I miss my granny.

/spend as much time as you can with her
//trust me
 
2013-12-16 02:36:48 AM  

teenage mutant ninja rapist: As a guy who's not far off of having to bury his grandmother, I would like to slap the ever loving shiat out of that little ba*tard.


Lost 3 pretty close together in my early-mid 20s (5+ years ago) and lost another as a toddler, but I still want to slap him and keep slapping him until he realizes what a lucky kid he is. Some of us would kill for one more day with grandma, toys be damned. How evil do you have to be to hit your grandma*?!


*excluding abusive grandparents, but TFA is short on details so I'm running with Devil child theory.
 
2013-12-16 02:52:37 AM  

ADHD Librarian: A witness called the police?
On an 11 year old?

Guess that saved the kid from his grandfather for a few hours?

\I am assuming the kid is not a MMA cage fighter


There are some pretty tall and strong 11 year olds out there; the grandson may very well have been bigger than his grandmother. The person who called police may have thought the kid was in his teens. Besides, what were the choices, really? There's this older kid, who may be pretty strong, attempting to punch an old woman multiple times. Walking away is essentially saying you don't give a damn if he hurts her, trying to intervene yourself could just get you injured plus possibly accused of assault depending on who told what story later on. Calling the police may have been the most reasonable option. And after that, the kid shouldn't be seeing anything in his stocking at Christmas but a switch. 11 is about half a decade too old for throwing a tantrum over a toy, and a full decade too old to be hitting anyone over it.
 
2013-12-16 03:15:17 AM  
And what's even sadder is the grandma is going to get run over by a reindeer in a few days.


/ducks
 
2013-12-16 03:29:45 AM  
When that grandma dies, she'll haunt him for the rest of his life. Worst of all, he won't be able to ejaculate because every time he's close to reaching climax, his ghostly grandma would posses whoever he's farking and then tell him all sorts of incestuous tales from hell.
 
2013-12-16 03:35:16 AM  
Oh my god, that poor child, another victim of affluenza.
 
2013-12-16 06:06:13 AM  
Was it Bonestorm?

simpsonswiki.net
 
2013-12-16 06:29:13 AM  
First of all - we have to get over this thing where we automatically charge children with a crime. They're children.

Secondly, I know these weren't black folks because the grandmother would have gone to jail. I remember one time when I was about 7, I got jiggy with it and threw a house shoe at my grandmother.

And when I regained consciousness, she told me if I ever did anything like that, she would beat me until she got tired.

Trying to fathom what would happen to my daughter if she had hit my mother at 11? I would miss her very much, but I'd have to say she had it coming.
 
2013-12-16 07:21:54 AM  
I once punched my grandmother in the face trying to get a toy...

I was 11 or 12.  My mother and I had gone on an RV trip to Tennessee with her parents, but the thing broke down somewhere in South Carolina.  We parked it in a campground adjacent to a flea market while we waited for the neccessary parts to get shipped in, and me, my mother and my grandmother would wander the market each day for entertainment while Papa argued with the mechanic.

We were standing all in a row, my mother between me and Gran, in front of a table full of baubles and tchotckes when one caught my eye.  I went to extend my arm over my mothers shoulders in hopes of winning her over with some faux-affection,  but rather than the classic streach move that lowers the arm slowly onto the shoulders from above I shot out a straight jab to my right (closed fist and all).  Having no real sense of my own constantly changing body proportions of that age, I overshot my mark and made solid contact with my grandmother's jaw in what must have seemed an incredibly malicious and wonton attack to any onlookers.  My grandmother let out a heartbreaking little yelp of shock and betrayal, and I, in my immediate shame, started to cry and apologize all the way back to the motorhome.

I still get teased about it at family get togethers: "Hey Gran, are those rolls out of the oven yet?"  "Oh gosh, just another minute or two, I'm tryin to hurry, please don't hit me..."

Cheeky ol' bird.
 
2013-12-16 08:01:17 AM  

Hermione_Granger: I remember one time when I was about 7, I got jiggy with it and threw a house shoe at my grandmother.


I can only hope that phrase has aquired a different meaning from the one I've always known...

/And, WTF is a "house shoe"? Like slippers?
 
2013-12-16 08:14:25 AM  
Still no Ohio tag, cure for cancer.
 
2013-12-16 08:16:17 AM  

RobSeace: Hermione_Granger: I remember one time when I was about 7, I got jiggy with it and threw a house shoe at my grandmother.

I can only hope that phrase has aquired a different meaning from the one I've always known...


I look at it as, "I totally raped a slipped and when I was finished, I threw it at Granny."

/And, WTF is a "house shoe"? Like slippers?
At first, I read it too fast and thought it said, "horse shoe" and I was like, "Damn! Hardcore mother farker!"  But, yes, it's just a slipper.

I think the 11 year old not getting the toy was the last straw for having to put up with Granma's foul smelling "perfume".
 
2013-12-16 08:17:04 AM  

hubris73: I once punched my grandmother in the face trying to get a toy...

I was 11 or 12.  My mother and I had gone on an RV trip to Tennessee with her parents, but the thing broke down somewhere in South Carolina.  We parked it in a campground adjacent to a flea market while we waited for the neccessary parts to get shipped in, and me, my mother and my grandmother would wander the market each day for entertainment while Papa argued with the mechanic.

We were standing all in a row, my mother between me and Gran, in front of a table full of baubles and tchotckes when one caught my eye.  I went to extend my arm over my mothers shoulders in hopes of winning her over with some faux-affection,  but rather than the classic streach move that lowers the arm slowly onto the shoulders from above I shot out a straight jab to my right (closed fist and all).  Having no real sense of my own constantly changing body proportions of that age, I overshot my mark and made solid contact with my grandmother's jaw in what must have seemed an incredibly malicious and wonton attack to any onlookers.  My grandmother let out a heartbreaking little yelp of shock and betrayal, and I, in my immediate shame, started to cry and apologize all the way back to the motorhome.

I still get teased about it at family get togethers: "Hey Gran, are those rolls out of the oven yet?"  "Oh gosh, just another minute or two, I'm tryin to hurry, please don't hit me..."

Cheeky ol' bird.


Big difference between accidental contact and intended battery, as your example showed the opposite of the kid in the story.  This kid needs quick hard consequences now before the evil affluenza virus takes ahold of his stupid brain.  Which it would seem, the affluenza virus is fatal and the sufferer should be put down.
 
2013-12-16 08:17:41 AM  
See this is what's wrong with kids today, no one teaches the snowflakes how to fight.  He should have hit her in the stomach and as she was coming forward,  follow through with an uppercut that would have decked her.
 
2013-12-16 11:24:26 AM  

Hermione_Granger: Secondly, I know these weren't black folks because the grandmother would have gone to jail. I remember one time when I was about 7, I got jiggy with it and threw a house shoe at my grandmother.


I'm about as white as you can get without being an albino and I can assure you that had I ever laid a hand on any of my grandparents they'd have clubbed me like a baby harp seal.www.harpseals.org
 
2013-12-16 12:14:13 PM  
Oh man, If I had seen that I would have (in my dreams) gone over there and beat that kid senseless telling him how wrong it is to hurt others and asking how the hell does he like it.

In reality, I suppose I would have laughed and said something like "He's not afraid of you because you never beat him. This is what you caused.",

and then run from the kid myself.
 
2013-12-16 01:13:44 PM  

Hermione_Granger: First of all - we have to get over this thing where we automatically charge children with a crime. They're children.


By the age of 11 every single kid in my class knew damn well that punching an old lady was very, VERY wrong. So don't even try to suggest any of that "but he's just a kid, they don't understand consequences" bullshiat because I don't think it will fly with anyone over over the age of eight.
 
2013-12-16 01:31:07 PM  
Grandma was lucky it wasn't in Florida, otherwise it woulda been a stabbin'
 
2013-12-16 02:23:58 PM  

EatsCrayons: Hermione_Granger: First of all - we have to get over this thing where we automatically charge children with a crime. They're children.

By the age of 11 every single kid in my class knew damn well that punching an old lady was very, VERY wrong. So don't even try to suggest any of that "but he's just a kid, they don't understand consequences" bullshiat because I don't think it will fly with anyone over over the age of eight.



White people wear "slippers". Black people wear "house shoes." Shoes you wear around the house. Hence the phrase, "My mama used to take off her house shoe and whup me with it," is a very common black household occurrence. It's not really much of a spanking but it usually makes an impression ins sheer energy and emotion which is the entire point.

"Getting jiggy with it" in the context I used it means, "inordinately full of my self and decided to be impertinent". Since when does "getting jiggy with it" in any form denote "rape" of any kind? Good Lord...that is horrifying.

And last but not least...I'm not saying "he's just a kid" is an excuse for his behavior. I just don't believe in criminalizing childhood behavior. Arresting and booking a kid for something like this should be a crime in and of itself. He may need court supervised counseling and maybe the whole family too, but there should be a different way of dealing with things like this when it comes to kids rather than treating them like miniature adults. They're not.
 
2013-12-16 03:14:37 PM  

Hermione_Granger: EatsCrayons: Hermione_Granger: First of all - we have to get over this thing where we automatically charge children with a crime. They're children.

By the age of 11 every single kid in my class knew damn well that punching an old lady was very, VERY wrong. So don't even try to suggest any of that "but he's just a kid, they don't understand consequences" bullshiat because I don't think it will fly with anyone over over the age of eight.


White people wear "slippers". Black people wear "house shoes." Shoes you wear around the house. Hence the phrase, "My mama used to take off her house shoe and whup me with it," is a very common black household occurrence. It's not really much of a spanking but it usually makes an impression ins sheer energy and emotion which is the entire point.

"Getting jiggy with it" in the context I used it means, "inordinately full of my self and decided to be impertinent". Since when does "getting jiggy with it" in any form denote "rape" of any kind? Good Lord...that is horrifying.

And last but not least...I'm not saying "he's just a kid" is an excuse for his behavior. I just don't believe in criminalizing childhood behavior. Arresting and booking a kid for something like this should be a crime in and of itself. He may need court supervised counseling and maybe the whole family too, but there should be a different way of dealing with things like this when it comes to kids rather than treating them like miniature adults. They're not.


Or maybe, just maybe, the kid doesn't get sentenced but the whole ordeal scares the little shiat into comprehending that actions, especially violent ones, have consequences.

At least until he grows up and becomes a cop.
 
2013-12-16 03:44:09 PM  

Hermione_Granger: White people wear "slippers". Black people wear "house shoes." Shoes you wear around the house. Hence the phrase, "My mama used to take off her house shoe and whup me with it," is a very common black household occurrence. It's not really much of a spanking but it usually makes an impression ins sheer energy and emotion which is the entire point.


www.quickmeme.com

Hermione_Granger: "Getting jiggy with it" in the context I used it means, "inordinately full of my self and decided to be impertinent". Since when does "getting jiggy with it" in any form denote "rape" of any kind? Good Lord...that is horrifying.


I don't think it does... But, I've generally heard it used in the context of "have sex with"... I think Satanus was just going with "rape" for the shock value, and because a slipper is technically incapable of giving consent...
 
2013-12-16 03:47:25 PM  

Hermione_Granger: White people wear "slippers". Black people wear "house shoes." Shoes you wear around the house. Hence the phrase, "My mama used to take off her house shoe and whup me with it," is a very common black household occurrence.


I too wear "house shoes" although I call mine "indoor shoes", and I haven't owned a pair of slippers since I was 10. Just for fun could you post a short list of other behavioral differences between blacks and whites. I'm curious to see how many stereotypes I'm violating.
 
2013-12-16 08:28:58 PM  

Tyrosine: Hermione_Granger: White people wear "slippers". Black people wear "house shoes." Shoes you wear around the house. Hence the phrase, "My mama used to take off her house shoe and whup me with it," is a very common black household occurrence.

I too wear "house shoes" although I call mine "indoor shoes", and I haven't owned a pair of slippers since I was 10. Just for fun could you post a short list of other behavioral differences between blacks and whites. I'm curious to see how many stereotypes I'm violating.


Well, first off, the difference isn't what they are, the difference is what they're called. Calling them indoor shoes, to my mind is extra white, a level of white above calling them slippers. Yes there are different levels of white. In sitcom terms, you have The Middle/ Roseanne type of white. Then you have the Friends/Office level of white. Then you have the Frasier and up level of white. Frasier would be the type of guy to call them slippers or indoor shoes. I don't know black people at any level of black from ghetto to Michelle Obama who wouldn't call them house shoes or who would have mistaken what I said for "horse shoes" or not understood that I meant slippers.

There are tons of cultural speech differences between black folks and white folks and I DO NOT mean that dreaded word, Ebonics (which I farking hate, it's just as bad as the n-word from where I sit).

To me, the biggest one that comes to mind (well depending) is the use of the word "cock" versus the use of the word "dick". In my limited experience, white people tend to use the word cock more often than dick when referring to actual sex whereas the biggest indicator to me that a black guy bangs white chicks more often than black ones is he uses the word cock instead of dick.

For instance, if a guy is being a jerk, white people may call him a dick, they wouldn't say cock as in, "That guy is being a dick." But if a white guy is referring to his own penis it would be, "That hooker sucked the hell out of my cock."

Black guys tend to use the dick in all cases, again, unless they fark shag white women on the regular, then they tend to use the word cock because they pick it up from them.

And this is all anecdotal and may even be a regional difference.

And if you're worried about not conforming to stereotypes, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I can assure you that asking someone to provide you with "a short list of other behavioral differences between blacks and whites" makes you as white as rice, snow and milk.
 
2013-12-16 10:17:19 PM  

Hermione_Granger: Well, first off, the difference isn't what they are, the difference is what they're called. Calling them indoor shoes, to my mind is extra white, a level of white above calling them slippers. Yes there are different levels of white. In sitcom terms, you have The Middle/ Roseanne type of white. Then you have the Friends/Office level of white. Then you have the Frasier and up level of white. Frasier would be the type of guy to call them slippers or indoor shoes. I don't know black people at any level of black from ghetto to Michelle Obama who wouldn't call them house shoes or who would have mistaken what I said for "horse shoes" or not understood that I meant slippers.


My "indoor shoes" are actually shoes, not slippers. I wear them indoors until I need a new pair of outdoor shoes, then they get worn outside and I replace the indoor shoes. Where I come from slippers are like pajamas: No self respecting adult under 75 would admit to owing a pair.

 

Hermione_Granger: To me, the biggest one that comes to mind (well depending) is the use of the word "cock" versus the use of the word "dick". In my limited experience, white people tend to use the word cock more often than dick when referring to actual sex whereas the biggest indicator to me that a black guy bangs white chicks more often than black ones is he uses the word cock instead of dick


I suspect this is more regional than anything. Dick and cock are interchangeable, but cock is more of an insult. If I say to someone "quit being a dick" I'm probably not pissed, but if I say "quit being a cock" you better believe I'm pissed. With respect to sex, dick and cock are used equally.

Hermione_Granger: And if you're worried about not conforming to stereotypes, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I can assure you that asking someone to provide you with "a short list of other behavioral differences between blacks and whites" makes you as white as rice, snow and milk.


Ha! There's no doubt about that, but the reason I found your "house shoe" comment so interesting is that 25+ years ago I had a close friend who was black and was always joking with me that I was doing "black things". Most of the stuff I remember involves food: Grape freshie (which I still don't get), oxtail soup, okra, and corn bread (which I sort of understand). The "white people wear slippers, black people wear house shoes" reminded me so much of Lanny.
 
2013-12-17 12:28:04 AM  
My Grandma bought me the Shogun Warrior, Mazinga, for Christmas one year in the late 70s. My mom took me aside and explained to me that I should be very thankful and take extra care of my "robot toy" because my Grandma had walked to her work instead of taking the bus to save money for our gifts that winter. I lost Mazinga sometime in the 80s and my Grandma passed away yesterday morning at 90 years old. I will miss both of them this Christmas.
 
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