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(Yahoo)   How those tricksy filmmakers broke their promise to Evangeline Lilly   (movies.yahoo.com) divider line 117
    More: Obvious, Evangeline Lilly, O'Toole, love triangles, All American Rejects, Theatre of Canada, humans, Legolas, fantasy literature  
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13519 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 15 Dec 2013 at 7:59 PM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-15 05:24:47 PM
WHY IS LEGOLAS IN THE MFING HOBBIT!?
 
2013-12-15 05:26:32 PM
Having seen the sequels, I guess Legolas doesn't win the girl at the end.
 
2013-12-15 05:26:51 PM

doglover: WHY IS LEGOLAS IN THE MFING HOBBIT!?


BECAUSE THEY HAD TO MAKE THREE MOVIES DON'T YOU SEE
 
2013-12-15 05:30:00 PM
My God, that poor woman. Truly history's greatest tragedy.
 
2013-12-15 05:55:59 PM

doglover: WHY IS LEGOLAS IN THE MFING HOBBIT!?


Three movies is part of it.  Another is when the Hobbit was written Legolas didn't exist.  His father isn't named either in The Hobbit the elves are faceless.  Having Legolas there since he likely would have been there is a retcon I can get over.
 
2013-12-15 06:08:15 PM
She's a scientologist, probably not a good idea
 
2013-12-15 06:29:10 PM

doglover: WHY IS LEGOLAS IN THE MFING HOBBIT!?


He's there because it makes sense that he would be there.  Why wouldn't he be in his father's kingdom at this time?

Filming the book, as is, would not make a good movie.  I love the book - I'm okay with the changes.
 
2013-12-15 06:29:19 PM

Peter von Nostrand: She's a scientologist, probably not a good idea


No she's not. Where are you getting this from? I've never heard her associated with scientology; I actually thought she was a relatively religious Christian.
 
2013-12-15 06:36:58 PM

DamnYankees: Peter von Nostrand: She's a scientologist, probably not a good idea

No she's not. Where are you getting this from? I've never heard her associated with scientology; I actually thought she was a relatively religious Christian.


I could have swore she was... Off to wiki
 
2013-12-15 06:39:45 PM

Peter von Nostrand: DamnYankees: Peter von Nostrand: She's a scientologist, probably not a good idea

No she's not. Where are you getting this from? I've never heard her associated with scientology; I actually thought she was a relatively religious Christian.

I could have swore she was... Off to wiki


Wiki only says she grew up Christian. I must have her confused with someone else
 
2013-12-15 06:41:48 PM

Peter von Nostrand: Peter von Nostrand: DamnYankees: Peter von Nostrand: She's a scientologist, probably not a good idea

No she's not. Where are you getting this from? I've never heard her associated with scientology; I actually thought she was a relatively religious Christian.

I could have swore she was... Off to wiki

Wiki only says she grew up Christian. I must have her confused with someone else


Leah Remini?
 
2013-12-15 08:02:17 PM
Can dwarves and elves have children?
 
2013-12-15 08:03:50 PM
Tricksey, false directorsizes!
 
2013-12-15 08:10:58 PM
I farking knew it. Jackson screwed up another movie with his so called artistic license. Fark him and all his money too.
 
2013-12-15 08:11:14 PM
Well, the good thing about the Hobbit 2 is that it's a much, much better movie than the first.  There's decent characterization, better discipline with the plot-lines, and most of the terrible, terrible pacing issues that left the first Hobbit only barely past the point of outright sucking have been fixed.

The downside of the film is that it has fark-all to do with the Hobbit or even middle-earth lore in general, apart from a couple lip-service references to barrel-riding and the spiders, this was just Peter Jackson making up random shiat off the top of his head whilst paging through an old D&D manual.  It works as a movie, but it's not even vaguely like anything Tolkien wrote.  Adding a fanfiction-style love-triangle with an author-insert Mary Sue elf is far from the corniest thing he did to the plot.

// The Hobbit would be a kick-ass movie.  Movie.  Singular.  Jesus christ Jackson learn farking basic pacing.
 
2013-12-15 08:12:34 PM
Having Legolas there I can understand, since he is the king's son.  Making up the female elf character is stupid, but could be forgiven, since there are no female characters in the book.  Making her all flirty with a dwarf?  Total farking bullshiat.
 
2013-12-15 08:19:23 PM
Subby and all that agree are morons...that is all
 
2013-12-15 08:21:48 PM
Elves and Men are Children of Illuvitar, so it's somewhat understandable that they might get it on, though it only ever happened 3 times.  Dwarves were made by Aule, and Elves and Dwarves have a pretty bad history after the First Age.  So no, Elf/Dwarf nookie is completely unbelievable.
 
2013-12-15 08:23:52 PM
www.quickmeme.com
 
2013-12-15 08:24:17 PM

fusillade762: Can dwarves and elves have children?


that's where hobbits come from
 
2013-12-15 08:25:08 PM
You know what would be awesome? A really long, maybe 3-hour film version of "The Hobbitt." They'd have to make it that long to fit in all the story. Thank goodness it's just one book, so they don't have to split it into three like they did with the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy. That would ruin it.
 
2013-12-15 08:26:33 PM

fusillade762: Can dwarves and elves have children?


Appendix M of the Return of the King goes into some detail of the genitalia of the various races, and it doesn't look likely.
 
2013-12-15 08:30:02 PM

calbert: Peter von Nostrand: Peter von Nostrand: DamnYankees: Peter von Nostrand: She's a scientologist, probably not a good idea

No she's not. Where are you getting this from? I've never heard her associated with scientology; I actually thought she was a relatively religious Christian.

I could have swore she was... Off to wiki

Wiki only says she grew up Christian. I must have her confused with someone else

Leah Remini?


Tom Cruise.
 
2013-12-15 08:49:46 PM

Confabulat: Having seen the sequels, I guess Legolas doesn't win the girl at the end.


No but he won the Dwarf.

seriously its just Retcon, Retcon more or less by Tolkien himself as once Legolas was established as the son of Thranduil  who was in the Hobbit as he is the king of the wood elves, it must be assumed Legolas was there for the events of the Hobbit as there is no compelling reason for him not to be.


The new she elf is a a new character added for the movies and not an invention of Tolkien to the best of my knowledge.
 
2013-12-15 08:53:09 PM
Spoiler

I love how the article says Spoiler after the image of what the spoiler gives away.
 
2013-12-15 08:58:37 PM

Erix: fusillade762: Can dwarves and elves have children?

Appendix M of the Return of the King goes into some detail of the genitalia of the various races, and it doesn't look likely.


LOL

Elves and Men can and did have kids, so at least their, uh, equipment was pretty standard.

The dwarves the were so super secret about everything, mates, language, customs, I imagine they were pretty much major sex freaks behind closed doors. Dwarf women had beards like the men, remember.

The Dwarves also probably used their considerable technical skills on the sly, devising many interesting devices, sold in the back pages of Elf Lust and Goblin Girl mags and delivered to the customer's door in brown paper wrapper.

To be a serious Tolkien geek for a second, inThe History of Middle Earth V10, (Morgoth's Ring) there's an essay Tolkien wrote called Laws and Customs of the Eldar, where he actually does go into the details of, basically, Elf sex lives  -- courting, marriage, childbirth, child rearing, growth, puberty etc of the elves. He did indeed think it though thoroughly but he only wrote obliquely about it since he was pretty conservative about such things. But that's part of how he created such a fully-formed imaginary world.

Andthose "Half-Orc-Half-Men creatures Saruman was creating? Orc men and Human Women and there was no willingness on the part of the human women. Yep, Orc rape. Tolkien vaguely hints at it several times in LOTR as well as other places, but he never comes out and says it since he was a pretty big prude.
 
2013-12-15 09:09:32 PM
I don't want to post Hobbit spoilers, but man, it was ridiculously awful.  Just so farking bad.  I said out loud "are you farking KIDDING me" about a third of the way into the movie (during the barrel-riding scene), and was done with it.  I considered walking right there, but somebody else was my ride.

They did everything wrong in the movie that the original trilogy purposely DIDN'T do.  The LOTR trilogy, while it wasn't 100% faithful to the source material, followed it pretty well.  They left stuff out for pacing, changed some details for impact or spectacle, but mostly it was LOTR.  The Desolation of Smaug was probably two thirds to three quarters material that didn't happen AT ALL in the Hobbit.  And much of the new material wasn't even in other Tolkien writing that I'm aware of.  A ton of it was simply taking an existing event and blowing it up into a huge action piece or adding in extra characters or extra plotlines that never happened and making it practically unrecognisable.

That said, it was better than the very schizophrenic first Hobbit movie, as a movie.  If the source material didn't exist, it probably would have been a lot of fun, if a bit cliché and occasionally very improbable.  But the fact that the source material was seen wadded up and covered in poo down a latrine after the screenwriters got done wiping curry diarrhea all over it made it infuriatingly bad.
 
2013-12-15 09:13:39 PM

Jim_Callahan: // The Hobbit would be a kick-ass movie. Movie. Singular. Jesus christ Jackson learn farking basic pacing.


I'm hoping for a fan edit like with the Star Wars movies.

Cut all the extraneous crap out once the blu-rays come out and see how it works.  My bet is on "flawed but better than Jackson's abortion".
 
2013-12-15 09:16:25 PM
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2013-12-15 09:18:49 PM

DemonEater: I don't want to post Hobbit spoilers, but man, it was ridiculously awful.  Just so farking bad.  I said out loud "are you farking KIDDING me" about a third of the way into the movie (during the barrel-riding scene), and was done with it.  I considered walking right there, but somebody else was my ride.

They did everything wrong in the movie that the original trilogy purposely DIDN'T do.  The LOTR trilogy, while it wasn't 100% faithful to the source material, followed it pretty well.  They left stuff out for pacing, changed some details for impact or spectacle, but mostly it was LOTR.  The Desolation of Smaug was probably two thirds to three quarters material that didn't happen AT ALL in the Hobbit.  And much of the new material wasn't even in other Tolkien writing that I'm aware of.  A ton of it was simply taking an existing event and blowing it up into a huge action piece or adding in extra characters or extra plotlines that never happened and making it practically unrecognisable.

That said, it was better than the very schizophrenic first Hobbit movie, as a movie.  If the source material didn't exist, it probably would have been a lot of fun, if a bit cliché and occasionally very improbable.  But the fact that the source material was seen wadded up and covered in poo down a latrine after the screenwriters got done wiping curry diarrhea all over it made it infuriatingly bad.


You...are an idiot then

Get over yourself and watch a FARKIN movie based on (what you pretend to think or have an opinion about) a great novel.
 
2013-12-15 09:20:03 PM

Metaluna Mutant: The Dwarves also probably used their considerable technical skills on the sly, devising many interesting devices, sold in the back pages of Elf Lust and Goblin Girl mags and delivered to the customer's door in brown paper wrapper.


"Do you like what you doth see...?" said the voluptuous elf-maiden as she provocatively parted the folds of her robe to reveal the rounded, shadowy glories within. Frito's throat was dry, though his head reeled with desire and ale.
 
2013-12-15 09:21:02 PM
The elf chicks were wearing too many clothes.
 
2013-12-15 09:22:30 PM
Bunch of FARKING moorns that can't watch a FARKING movie without pretending you know more about what the original author would want on the live screen. I GUARANDAMTEE JR would LOVE the movies you FARKING IDIOT MOVIE SNOBS!!
 
2013-12-15 09:23:01 PM
Who the hell got through the first half-hour of the hobbit and is still watching it?
 
2013-12-15 09:23:03 PM

DemonEater: Jim_Callahan: // The Hobbit would be a kick-ass movie. Movie. Singular. Jesus christ Jackson learn farking basic pacing.

I'm hoping for a fan edit like with the Star Wars movies.

Cut all the extraneous crap out once the blu-rays come out and see how it works.  My bet is on "flawed but better than Jackson's abortion".


I said the same thing after the first movie.  I bet they could get a decent, single, live-action movie out of these three flicks if they're edited correctly.

The cartoon still would be better.
 
2013-12-15 09:29:38 PM

DemonEater: I don't want to post Hobbit spoilers, but man, it was ridiculously awful.  Just so farking bad.  I said out loud "are you farking KIDDING me" about a third of the way into the movie (during the barrel-riding scene), and was done with it.  I considered walking right there, but somebody else was my ride.

They did everything wrong in the movie that the original trilogy purposely DIDN'T do.  The LOTR trilogy, while it wasn't 100% faithful to the source material, followed it pretty well.  They left stuff out for pacing, changed some details for impact or spectacle, but mostly it was LOTR.  The Desolation of Smaug was probably two thirds to three quarters material that didn't happen AT ALL in the Hobbit.  And much of the new material wasn't even in other Tolkien writing that I'm aware of.  A ton of it was simply taking an existing event and blowing it up into a huge action piece or adding in extra characters or extra plotlines that never happened and making it practically unrecognisable.

That said, it was better than the very schizophrenic first Hobbit movie, as a movie.  If the source material didn't exist, it probably would have been a lot of fun, if a bit cliché and occasionally very improbable.  But the fact that the source material was seen wadded up and covered in poo down a latrine after the screenwriters got done wiping curry diarrhea all over it made it infuriatingly bad.


"The ponderous mount, which appeared to Frito's startled eyes to be an immense, grossly overfed pig the size of a house, snuffled and snorted in the wet earth to root out some scent of them. The others awoke and froze with terror. As they watched, the evil hunter goaded his mount, emitted one great and sour fart, and passed on. "

I for one miss Doug Kenney.
 
2013-12-15 09:34:21 PM

doglover: WHY IS LEGOLAS IN THE MFING HOBBIT!?


He is Thranduil's son. Why wouldn't he be?
 
2013-12-15 09:37:09 PM

Nefarious: His father isn't named either in The Hobbit the elves are faceless.


King Thranduil was most certainly named in The Hobbit -- he was the only elf named in Bilbo's adventure (ch. Flies And Spiders). Legolas is his son (but we didn't know that until LOTR).
 
2013-12-15 09:38:27 PM

Son of Streak: DemonEater: Jim_Callahan: // The Hobbit would be a kick-ass movie. Movie. Singular. Jesus christ Jackson learn farking basic pacing.

I'm hoping for a fan edit like with the Star Wars movies.

Cut all the extraneous crap out once the blu-rays come out and see how it works.  My bet is on "flawed but better than Jackson's abortion".

I said the same thing after the first movie.  I bet they could get a decent, single, live-action movie out of these three flicks if they're edited correctly.

The cartoon still would be better.


I think there's way too much for a single movie. In films, there's some stuff you want to show, not just tell about. That takes up more real-time than you might think. Stuffing it in one would feel rushed.
 
2013-12-15 09:38:29 PM
It seems like just yesterday she was doing late night chat line commercials...
 
2013-12-15 09:40:05 PM

Ishkur: Nefarious: His father isn't named either in The Hobbit the elves are faceless.

King Thranduil was most certainly named in The Hobbit -- he was the only elf named in Bilbo's adventure (ch. Flies And Spiders). Legolas is his son (but we didn't know that until LOTR).


Is he?  I only remember him being referred to as "The Elvenking" in the book.
 
2013-12-15 09:40:46 PM

Gestankfaust: Bunch of FARKING moorns that can't watch a FARKING movie without pretending you know more about what the original author would want on the live screen. I GUARANDAMTEE JR would LOVE the movies you FARKING IDIOT MOVIE SNOBS!!


Holy shiat man, your meds, take them.

I have some legitimate criticisms of a movie I just watched, which seem to be shared by others in the thread, and posted them in a mostly-reasonable and non-hyberbolic way (except for the bit about the source material, I'll grant, but it's kinda how I feel), and you call me an idiot for that?

And then post this breathless, spittle-flecked condemnation of everyone who ever had a bad thing to say about it?

Ranting and raving like a lunatic over a couple of peoples' reasonably-stated opinions does NOT make you look hinged, or like somebody whose opinions should be considered in the slightest.
 
2013-12-15 09:42:03 PM

Jim_Callahan: Well, the good thing about the Hobbit 2 is that it's a much, much better movie than the first.


Honest question:  is it better than the first in a good way, or in the way that "Attack Of The Clones" was "better" than "The Phantom Menace"?  i.e. is it a good movie on its own merits , or is it only "good" in comparison to the first movie?
 
2013-12-15 09:51:12 PM

69gnarkill69:


Thanks!
 
2013-12-15 09:54:04 PM

Lachwen: Ishkur: Nefarious: His father isn't named either in The Hobbit the elves are faceless.

King Thranduil was most certainly named in The Hobbit -- he was the only elf named in Bilbo's adventure (ch. Flies And Spiders). Legolas is his son (but we didn't know that until LOTR).

Is he?  I only remember him being referred to as "The Elvenking" in the book.


I believe you're right but it's been a long time since I read it so I could have been mistaken and he was named.  I was pretty sure we learned his name in The Fellowship of the Ring.
 
2013-12-15 09:57:38 PM

theorellior: "Do you like what you doth see...?" said the voluptuous elf-maiden as she provocatively parted the folds of her robe to reveal the rounded, shadowy glories within. Frito's throat was dry, though his head reeled with desire and ale.


phamwaa: Doug Kenney


Just found out they did an Audio version of Bored of The Rings.


"If broken or busted it can't be remade. If found send to Sorehead, the postage is prepaid" "
 
2013-12-15 09:58:35 PM

DemonEater: I don't want to post Hobbit spoilers, but man, it was ridiculously awful.  Just so farking bad.  I said out loud "are you farking KIDDING me" about a third of the way into the movie (during the barrel-riding scene), and was done with it.  I considered walking right there, but somebody else was my ride.

They did everything wrong in the movie that the original trilogy purposely DIDN'T do.  The LOTR trilogy, while it wasn't 100% faithful to the source material, followed it pretty well.  They left stuff out for pacing, changed some details for impact or spectacle, but mostly it was LOTR.  The Desolation of Smaug was probably two thirds to three quarters material that didn't happen AT ALL in the Hobbit.  And much of the new material wasn't even in other Tolkien writing that I'm aware of.  A ton of it was simply taking an existing event and blowing it up into a huge action piece or adding in extra characters or extra plotlines that never happened and making it practically unrecognisable.

That said, it was better than the very schizophrenic first Hobbit movie, as a movie.  If the source material didn't exist, it probably would have been a lot of fun, if a bit cliché and occasionally very improbable.  But the fact that the source material was seen wadded up and covered in poo down a latrine after the screenwriters got done wiping curry diarrhea all over it made it infuriatingly bad.


Totally agree. While I didn't think it was out right bad, I did think it was a solid 6.5/10 movie. Moderately entertaining but not something that I would ever want to watch again.
 
2013-12-15 09:59:43 PM
 
2013-12-15 10:01:24 PM

Metaluna Mutant: "If broken or busted it can't be remade. If found send to Sorehead, the postage is prepaid" "


Frito stood for a long time, peering out from under his fingers at the distant, smoking volcano.

"It's many a hard kilo to the Black Hole," he said, fingering the Ring.

"No lie, bwana," said Spam.

"This nearer tar pit has a certain holelike flavor," said Frito...

"Round," agreed Spam. "Open. Deep."

"Dark," added Frito.

"Black," said Spam...

..."Hello," said a gray lump behind them. "Long time no see."

"Goddam, old shoe," crooned Spam, and dropped a coin at Goddam's feet.

"Small world," said Frito as he palmed the Ring and clapped the surprised creature on the back.

"Look!" cried Frito, pointing to an empty sky. "The Winged Victory of Samothrace." And as Goddam turned to see, Frito looped the chain over his neck.

"Holla," cried Spam, "a 1927 indian-head nickel!" and dropped on his hands and knees in front of Goddam.

"Whoops!" said Frito.

"Aiyeee," added Goddam.

"Floop," suggested the tar pit.
 
2013-12-15 10:08:42 PM

doglover: WHY IS LEGOLAS IN THE MFING HOBBIT!?


He has a thing for hobbitsis...

\feet furry lover he is....
 
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