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(Examiner)   For the love of money... here we go again. Mega Millions rolls up to $550 million. For that kind of money, subby could buy Fark   (examiner.com) divider line 85
    More: Interesting, Mega Millions  
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1806 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Dec 2013 at 7:10 PM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-14 08:00:32 PM

PunkTiger: The biggest problem I see in winning that jackpot is that I'd quickly need both a lawyer and an accountant... THAT I CAN TRUST. I'm pretty sure I can get a trustworthy accountant (I've known one for years), but finding a lawyer who wouldn't have an insane amount of dollar signs in his/her eyes because I was the big winner would be another story altogether.

I'll tell you, this Punk would be a VERY difficult person to get a hold of shortly after winning that jackpot.


Other way around for me. Every accountant I've worked with has been...sub-par, to say the least, whereas my brother is the only legal counsel I'd ever need.
 
2013-12-14 08:07:06 PM
If I won I would buy about 1000 acres far the fark away from any big cities.  On it I would build my home, a modest 3000 sq footer.  Behind it would be my 25 car garage, a small track, dragstrip and a workshop for woodworking, gardening and such.  toward the edge of my land, where I would not have to listen to their cat fights, would be the house for all my whores.  There would be about 10 or so.  One would make her way to the main house each night to pleasure me while my wife is working in her 1000 sq foot scrapbooking/crafts cottage.  They would be rotated out and replaced every few months.  I would also have a nice garden which would grow most of my food, acres of every fruit and veggie you could think of, and some you probably wouldn't.  It would of course be tended by some attractive, young immigrant women who might occasionally get to serve in my whore stable.  My garage would contain a 1969 Dodge Daytona, Bugatti Veyron, hot rodded orange 1976 Pinto, Viper, Z06 Vette, Nissan GTR, and 70 Roadrunner, GMC Typhoon, Regal GNX, Buick GS 455 and a Bentley among other toys.
 
2013-12-14 08:17:25 PM
I'm in for a dollar. Got it all planned out. I have several business plans I polish up from time to time awaiting seed money (toss one from time to time due to windows of opportunity closing, writing up another when I see an opportunity in case I come into a windfall or something). I have plans for securities investments (my IRA does very well) and I want to put a couple others I know into business for themselves (for a piece of the action, of course).

I keep vacillating between taking the cash option and going for the annuity. All of the above could be done for a single annuity payment after tax. After that it becomes dicey for me personally to manage. That is the problem with huge amounts of money in a windfall. On the other hand, I know that eventually the tax on high incomes is going to go up, and there is a chance it will go up very, very high and I would like to get the money sheltered under current rules.

Most of my money would probably go to endow a local social services entity, ensuring they are perpetually funded. After investing the first $10 mill or so I'd have all the money I need for the rest of my life. I'm currently developing two of those revenue streams right now in entertainment media and transportation, a massive injection of cash would allow me to complete them now and essentially retire. I don't have a lot of material needs, though I understand that can change over time. Maybe I'd do the whole Bill and Melinda Gates/Jimmy Carter/Rotary thing and pick a disease to try to eradicate. Or help fund a private manned spaceflight program.
 
2013-12-14 08:21:31 PM
If I don't win, the dollar will help fund things like the craptacular busway between New Britain and Hartford.

If I win, I'll be buying acreage out in the boonies of VT/NH, in a town with lax zoning regs. I'll have a minimum 5-meter satellite dish (quad ortho feed for C/Ku), and at the base will be my maple sugar shack. I might set up a second dish so I can experiment with amateur radio satellite communications and moonbounce. There will be an acre or two of food, and a mix of solar and wind for power. The barn behind the house will have two horses for my fiancee, because according to her one would get lonely. Maybe we'll have some alpacas so we can make yarn for her crocheting/knitting. In the basement would be a four-person setup for Mario Kart Arcade.

The majority of the excess money would go into "safe" investments, primarily just to keep up with inflation and basically live off the interest. I'd still want a job just so I don't get too bored, or just volunteer a lot. Some would go to family, and I'd probably cut a check to a random charity every few months.
 
2013-12-14 08:24:56 PM

nyseattitude: Considering the prices right now I'd buy Detroit for $40k, mow it down and build my own city.
It would look like Org


I had the same thought.  Except I was thinking Hobbiton.

Because... yeah.  Green fields and round doors.
 
2013-12-14 08:57:31 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Who collects interest in the meantime?


The jackpot is the cash value paid as a 20 year annuity. The interest is paid to the winner. Anything earned in the meantime just becomes part of the lottery fund for higher prizes or the money paid to communities.
 
2013-12-14 08:58:03 PM

Cpl.D: nyseattitude: Considering the prices right now I'd buy Detroit for $40k, mow it down and build my own city.
It would look like Org

I had the same thought.  Except I was thinking Hobbiton.

Because... yeah.  Green fields and round doors.


Raccoon City here.
 
2013-12-14 09:06:44 PM

Ima4nic8or: If I won I would buy about 1000 acres far the fark away from any big cities.  On it I would build my home, a modest 3000 sq footer.  Behind it would be my 25 car garage, a small track, dragstrip and a workshop for woodworking, gardening and such.  toward the edge of my land, where I would not have to listen to their cat fights, would be the house for all my whores.  There would be about 10 or so.  One would make her way to the main house each night to pleasure me while my wife is working in her 1000 sq foot scrapbooking/crafts cottage.  They would be rotated out and replaced every few months.  I would also have a nice garden which would grow most of my food, acres of every fruit and veggie you could think of, and some you probably wouldn't.  It would of course be tended by some attractive, young immigrant women who might occasionally get to serve in my whore stable.  My garage would contain a 1969 Dodge Daytona, Bugatti Veyron, hot rodded orange 1976 Pinto, Viper, Z06 Vette, Nissan GTR, and 70 Roadrunner, GMC Typhoon, Regal GNX, Buick GS 455 and a Bentley among other toys.


Well, you should give it some more thought and get back to us when you have an answer.
 
2013-12-14 09:20:03 PM
Real easy; pay off my daughters' student loans, set my mom up in a condo, fully funded; have a number of minor surgeries I've been putting off due to financial reasons; buy an ex GF of mine a farmette where she can fulfill her dream of rescuing dogs/cats/whatever; buy a new vehicle, nothing extravagant, and get the hell out of Dodge for awhile and travel the US, especially getting out of this farking tundra in the Midwest right now, and giving a shiat ton of it away to people charities that I completely believe in.  Oh, and it goes without saying, quitting my job where my teabagger boss has never seemingly appreciated the work I've done for him.
 
kab
2013-12-14 09:30:04 PM
59 comments in, and not a single clever "lottery is a tax on stoopid peepul" insight?   Fark, I am disappoint.
 
2013-12-14 09:39:09 PM
It's a 26 year annuity, they changed it a few years back.

/ figure I got a 50/50 chance
// either I'll win
/// or I won't
 
2013-12-14 10:16:24 PM
My dreams are all dead. If I won.. I don't know what I would do.
I don't find joy in anything anymore. So I would probably just give it away to people who would enjoy it.
 
2013-12-14 10:26:36 PM
I'd pay off the debt of the town i live in ($110 million in unfunded pensions) and make it conditional to powering most of town with solar (I live in coal country) which I would past to provide.
 
2013-12-14 10:40:29 PM

ShadowWolf: My dreams are all dead. If I won.. I don't know what I would do.
I don't find joy in anything anymore. So I would probably just give it away to people who would enjoy it.


ShadowWolf, why you so sad, child?
 
2013-12-14 11:27:02 PM
I would buy a house so large i could get lost in it, buy boats and toys i'd use once and never again, become alienated from all my friends, have sex with a bunch of women who can't stand the sight of me, and drink myself to death within five years.

-no regrets-
 
2013-12-14 11:43:28 PM
I find it amusing how many people would give to charities in this thread. It reminds me of Louis CK talking about how he likes to think about giving up his first class airline seat to a soldier because it makes him feel good, but then he doesn't. Not that you fine people wouldn't, and don't already, give lots of money to charity. It's just something I do to feel better about -myself-.

Anyhow, if I won 550 million I'd start a couple non-profits that need to exist, a couple of businesses I see a place and need for, and fund research into some sorely needed technologies. Fox News would be calling me the biggest socialist to ever do whatever it is they think socialists do. And then I'd discover the money I'd won was short a 0 or two to get all that off the ground, give up, and hire a bunch of hobo's, give them assault weapons and take over a small country somewhere nice and retire.

Or buy up all of a non-essential commodity in a world region just to screw with people. The Thank You Card shortage of 2014. The toilet paper run of Brown Tuesday. The Great Valve Stem Cap Scare.

Good. Evil. They're both fine choices.
 
2013-12-15 12:24:13 AM
I'd pay off my debt. My best friends debt and help her family (I don't have any of my own anymore). I'd buy a house. I'd travel as I've seen little of the world. And I'd still work. I've worked all my life and don't know how  not to work. I'm freelance, so I would pick and choose my jobs. Or maybe give up my career and help my best friend with her business, as she's said time and again that I'm the only person she would partner up with as I work just as hard as she does, but with me having money, I would't have to worry about taking a salary. She makes just enough to support herself right now.
 
2013-12-15 12:37:44 AM
Yep, all the usual shiat everyone says they'll do. Pay off debt, buy a house, donate to a charity, blah blah. I'd still drive my beat up old truck, Sam Walton style (but I'd have it sanded and painted, the rust is getting out of hand).

Besides all that, I'd buy up all the warehouses in my job's industrial park, and turn the empty ones into hackerspaces for me and all my friends to build stuff in. Man's gotta have a hobby or he goes insane, no matter how much money is in the bank, and for some reason there are no decent hacker/maker spaces in my area.
 
2013-12-15 01:32:10 AM
The first thing I'd get is still a vasectomy, the second would be a 10lb bag of ice for my balls.
 
2013-12-15 01:50:38 AM
I'd offer anyone that has to work the nights selling lottery tickets $1,000 dollars to quit on the spot.

Seriously, so annoying. People who have never bought a lottery ticket shouldn't buy lottery tickets. Take the free advice.

"Um, do you have that mega powerball thing? It's like, 400 billion dollars, right? How much does it cost? A dollar? Yeah, I'll take a couple of those. Yeah, 3 of them. Oh, you can only pay cash? Well, I don't have any. You sure you don't take debit cards? It's as good as cash!"

"No. Just cash. When I said only cash, I didn't mean debit, check, or a song. Papery foldin' money. Now please move on, there are 10 people behind you who all want to go through this same conversation."

I'm bitter.
 
2013-12-15 02:06:29 AM
One 250 million dollar hooker-bot and 250 million 1 dollar hookerbots.
 
2013-12-15 02:29:53 AM

NeoCortex42: ferretman: It would be scary to win that much money.

less so if you're fortunate enough to live in one of the few states where you can claim anonymously. Otherwise, you'd have to head out of town for a while straight from the lottery office.


step 1...create trust.
step 2...have the 'trust' cash in winning ticket.
step 3...enjoy money without having everyone and their cousin asking you for a hand out.
 
2013-12-15 02:32:56 AM

AbiNormal: With that kind of money I bet I could buy the Presidency twice like the Bush family did.


Why be the President, when you can own the President...just like every President elected both Republican and Democrat since I have been alive....all the power, none of the responsibility.
 
2013-12-15 02:47:37 AM
I'd close down my business, give some money to the family and see the world. Maybe I can find a place where I want to settle down far off the beaten path.
 
2013-12-15 04:38:50 AM
I'd run my own coffeehouse.

It would be an Anti-Starbucks.

It would serve good coffee, be open only at night, have pool tables, computers, wifi, the quarter-operated touch screen video games, a lounge area, an area with booths & tables. No alcohol.
 
2013-12-15 07:43:25 AM

Divinegrace: AbiNormal: With that kind of money I bet I could buy the Presidency twice like the Bush family did.

Why be the President, when you can own the President...just like every President elected both Republican and Democrat since I have been alive....all the power, none of the responsibility.


A few hundred million isn't near enough for either scenario
 
2013-12-15 08:53:05 AM
I could die happily but poor in 6 weeks with that kind of money, it really comes down to intensity v duration.
 
2013-12-15 09:03:18 AM
Two greenlights at the same time!
 
jrl
2013-12-15 10:02:52 AM
Chance of winning: 1:258,890,850   15x(75x74x73x72x71)/5x4x3x2
"Size of prize" 540,000,000

So the expected value, even ignoring the lie about the payout (oh, you want ALL of it?
here's half, go away), is at best 2.0 - with a very close to zero chance of any payout.

That's not a great bet. The lottery is a tax on people who can't do arithmetic.

When there is about a 50% chance of winning, I need to see about a 3.0 EV to get
my money out. With this kind of chance, huh, someone else is going to win it. The
ticket costs too much at $1.
 
2013-12-15 11:08:46 AM

jrl: Chance of winning: 1:258,890,850   15x(75x74x73x72x71)/5x4x3x2
"Size of prize" 540,000,000

So the expected value, even ignoring the lie about the payout (oh, you want ALL of it?
here's half, go away), is at best 2.0 - with a very close to zero chance of any payout.

That's not a great bet. The lottery is a tax on people who can't do arithmetic.

When there is about a 50% chance of winning, I need to see about a 3.0 EV to get
my money out. With this kind of chance, huh, someone else is going to win it. The
ticket costs too much at $1.


you're neglecting to include the smaller prizes. I'd still be pretty thrilled at a million bucks. The tiny prizes still help cover the cost of the ticket, and the odds aren't terrible on them since they reduced the field of the megaball numbers. So the expected value is probably noticeably higher than you think.

Don't get me wrong, the odds still suck. It wouldnt be much of a game if the house didn't come out ahead.
 
2013-12-15 11:56:42 AM

CptnSpldng: I'll set my niece up with 24 hour care for her ALS husband, pay off my kids' college loans and discretely help out with those of their significant others, make certain my wife & I aren't a burden to our kids if we manage to live another 20 years.


Somewhere in Sweden, a journalist is reading this comment and drafting a nice tearjerker human-interest story about how ignorant, backward Americans dream of winning the lottery at astronomical odds just so that they can enjoy the basic rudiments of life that even the poorest people in civilized societies take for granted. Health care, free education, meaningful old-age pensions... these are but dreams to these charming yet deluded savages (etc. etc.).

/then he's off to solve a murder that will lead him into a web of corruption that goes all the way to the top, 'cos that's how Swedish journalists roll
 
2013-12-15 12:30:48 PM
According to my youngest kid, we have a 50/50 chance of winning.  Yes or No.
 
2013-12-15 12:34:57 PM
I'd just walk the earth.  You know, walk the earth, meet people... get into adventures. Like Caine from "Kung Fu."
 
2013-12-15 06:24:56 PM

jrl: The lottery is a tax on people who can't do arithmetic


Yeah, but for a buck in the office pool you would be awful sad to be technically right when everyone else is technically retired.
 
2013-12-15 08:45:10 PM

FloydA: I'd just walk the earth.  You know, walk the earth, meet people... get into adventures. Like Caine from "Kung Fu."


They have a word for people like that Jules
 
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