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(Examiner)   For the love of money... here we go again. Mega Millions rolls up to $550 million. For that kind of money, subby could buy Fark   (examiner.com) divider line 85
    More: Interesting, Mega Millions  
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1806 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Dec 2013 at 7:10 PM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



85 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-14 04:07:54 PM
But why would you want to? The fame, the celebrities, all the beer... I mean, think about the downsides.
 
2013-12-14 04:23:30 PM
2 chicks at the same time, 550 times.
 
2013-12-14 04:25:23 PM
i105.photobucket.com
1,100 chicks at the same time.
 
2013-12-14 05:01:35 PM
With the newly craptastic odds, I wouldn't be shocked if it made it all the way to a billion a couple weeks from now.
 
2013-12-14 05:15:44 PM
It would be scary to win that much money.
 
2013-12-14 05:20:23 PM

ferretman: It would be scary to win that much money.


less so if you're fortunate enough to live in one of the few states where you can claim anonymously. Otherwise, you'd have to head out of town for a while straight from the lottery office.
 
2013-12-14 05:31:26 PM
I would buy one of those kickass miniature giraffes and a talking gecko.
 
2013-12-14 05:37:02 PM

Prey4reign: I would buy one of those kickass miniature giraffes and a talking gecko.


For that kind of money you could probably just get a miniature talking giraffe.
 
2013-12-14 05:46:02 PM

NeoCortex42: With the newly craptastic odds, I wouldn't be shocked if it made it all the way to a billion a couple weeks from now.


I'm sure lottery officials are pulling for a record jackpot over the Christmas holiday.
 
2013-12-14 05:56:22 PM

Triumph: NeoCortex42: With the newly craptastic odds, I wouldn't be shocked if it made it all the way to a billion a couple weeks from now.

I'm sure lottery officials are pulling for a record jackpot over the Christmas holiday.


No doubt. I'm sure they'd love to have a story like "single ticket wins first billion dollar jackpot on Christmas morning."
 
2013-12-14 06:04:09 PM
there are several things I would invest in if I won enough fark you scale money. Fark isn't one of them beyond the $25 every six months.

okay, I might spring for the year at a time deal.

I also try to sponsor at least one person a month because... what the hell is $5 in the grand scheme of things anyways?

what I would do with that kind of money is invest enough in the brewery I work for to fund further expansion and marketing initiatives.

and then, not work as hard.
 
2013-12-14 07:13:55 PM
I'd be ok with that as long as subby gets rid of the sponcered partners.

/or at least allow people to comment on them.
 
2013-12-14 07:14:02 PM
I think I'd go insane (like clinically) if I won that kind of money..
 
2013-12-14 07:14:10 PM
1) indulge myself
2) create a business that I would enjoy running
3) help my family
4) philanthropy

At the $100M level, roughly even amounts
Above that, philanthropy gets most of the extra
 
2013-12-14 07:15:03 PM
Queue the parade of "things that have never happened ever" that people will claim are more likely than someone winning this.
 
2013-12-14 07:16:08 PM
You can't buy me, subby.   You can't buy me!


//You can buy me.
 
2013-12-14 07:16:20 PM
After changing my name and moving to another country....
 
2013-12-14 07:16:31 PM

NeoCortex42: With the newly craptastic odds, I wouldn't be shocked if it made it all the way to a billion a couple weeks from now.


Who collects interest in the meantime?
 
2013-12-14 07:17:13 PM
Better yet, you could get 45,833,333 months of TFD!
 
2013-12-14 07:17:43 PM
I would pay for everybody's total fark for one year.
 
2013-12-14 07:18:39 PM
I would kill four people.
 
2013-12-14 07:19:11 PM
With that kind of money I bet I could buy the Presidency twice like the Bush family did.
 
2013-12-14 07:19:16 PM
With that much money, I'd come down with a nasty case of the affluenza that's been going around.
 
2013-12-14 07:20:14 PM
If I had 300 million, I'd seriously found an insurance company for fastfood/retail franchises and market it like the "Safe Auto" of health insurance. Cover the ABSOLUTE minimum possible under the law and get a large enough pool of mostly sub-40 year olds to get all kinds of premium money rolling in.

If you're corrupt enough, it can be a billion dollar idea.
 
2013-12-14 07:21:30 PM

AbiNormal: With that kind of money I bet I could buy the Presidency twice like the Bush family did.


How many faded Kerry stickers do you have on your Hyundai Tuscon?
 
2013-12-14 07:23:56 PM
Please don't
 
2013-12-14 07:24:04 PM
static3.wikia.nocookie.net

I could buy NBC and turn it into the largest Lane Bryant in Midtown!
 
2013-12-14 07:24:09 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: NeoCortex42: With the newly craptastic odds, I wouldn't be shocked if it made it all the way to a billion a couple weeks from now.

Who collects interest in the meantime?


I think half goes directly to the state's coffers for whatever program it's earmarked for (usually education or elderly care).  The other half stays in the prize fund.  I would think the interest from that half would stay with the prize fund so that they can (a) fulfill the crazy number of low-level prizes and (b) advertise an even higher jackpot by the time of the drawing.
 
2013-12-14 07:25:01 PM
With that kind of money id buy a lot of two dollar bills and buy a lot of stuff and buy it with the two dollar bills that I bought, exclusively.
 
2013-12-14 07:25:15 PM
Hmmm, for every $2 I spend on used books I expect $10 in profits, minimum. Perhaps my business is why I have such a hard time getting myself to engage in house-favored gambling, I deal in the small for small for about 10 hours a week.

Oh, and I'd take the cash option because I know what I'd do with the money. 80% insured tax exempt municipal bonds, 10% playing with covered calls, 5% VC investing, 5% cash on hand. And fark the charities.
 
2013-12-14 07:25:57 PM
For the love of money... here we go again. Mega Millions rolls up to $550 million. For that kind of money, subby could buy Fark

And a good one at THAT!
 
2013-12-14 07:26:02 PM
I'll be honest, I"m tempted to enter just to say I did

The odds, this odd would win are slim, so why not
 
2013-12-14 07:26:40 PM

"For that kind of money, subby could buy Fark"


And I have a whole list of Farkers I would ban permanently.

 
2013-12-14 07:27:32 PM
Playing the "what would I do if I won the lottery game" is fun escapism once in a while. My daughter said she wanted to help people with it and all my son wants is a PS4 since I'm too cheap to buy one right now.
 
2013-12-14 07:27:34 PM
Private jet. That would be my indulgence. Don't even have to own it, but I would never fly commercial again.
 
2013-12-14 07:29:08 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: AbiNormal: With that kind of money I bet I could buy the Presidency twice like the Bush family did.

How many faded Kerry stickers do you have on your Hyundai Tuscon?


LMAO!! None, I can't stand any politicians and it's a '11 Chevy Malibu.
 
2013-12-14 07:29:27 PM

Just another Heartland Weirdass: With that kind of money id buy a lot of two dollar bills and buy a lot of stuff and buy it with the two dollar bills that I bought, exclusively.


Fark that.  Dollar coins are more fun, especially the Susan B Anthony ones since they look a lot like quarters if you're not paying any attention.

When I was a register jockey, I used to put dollar coins aside so I could fark with the asshole customers.
 
2013-12-14 07:30:06 PM
I would divide it evenly among all people of the world. Seven cents for everyone!
 
2013-12-14 07:31:07 PM

FloydA: 1,100 chicks at the same time.


And if I had 550 million I think I could make that happen.
 
2013-12-14 07:31:49 PM
Cash option is $178M after 39.6% federal tax.  $50M to me, $40M to close family, $10M to relatives, $10M split amongst a few specific medical research charities, and the rest to set up a number of scholarship funds.
 
2013-12-14 07:32:32 PM

NeoCortex42: Quantum Apostrophe: NeoCortex42: With the newly craptastic odds, I wouldn't be shocked if it made it all the way to a billion a couple weeks from now.

Who collects interest in the meantime?

I think half goes directly to the state's coffers for whatever program it's earmarked for (usually education or elderly care).  The other half stays in the prize fund.  I would think the interest from that half would stay with the prize fund so that they can (a) fulfill the crazy number of low-level prizes and (b) advertise an even higher jackpot by the time of the drawing.


The lottery doesn't actually hold the full amount of prize money at any time.  After the state gets their cut of the ticket money, the amount that is necessary for the winner(s) to claim immediately ( a smaller amount than what they market the prize) is held in escrow, and the final portion is invested in order to cover the past, present, and future winners of those who take the 20 year payout.  Basically they operate a mutual fund with the non-immediate jackpot money.
 
2013-12-14 07:32:57 PM
Cash option comes in at around $300 million. Say after taxes and lawyers I'm left with $150 million. I'll set my niece up with 24 hour care for her ALS husband, pay off my kids' college loans and discretely help out with those of their significant others, make certain my wife & I aren't a burden to our kids if we manage to live another 20 years.

With what remains, I should be able to stomp down any local tea partier looking to infest the legislatures for a few years.
 
2013-12-14 07:34:44 PM
Totalfark? Fark that. being a liter is ok. I've had gifts of a free month of Fark from time to time. Nah, noble thought, but i'll pass.
/1100 gals?
P{fffft, wait til they turn 30.
 
2013-12-14 07:39:07 PM
If I ran this site, it would be worth a billion dollars in a matter of months. The semi-vulgar 'fark' moniker might be the only sticking point. Give me 20% of the stock and I'll make it happen for you, Drew.
 
2013-12-14 07:40:36 PM
I'd re-up my monthly subscription to UltraFar...+++CARRIER LOST+++
 
2013-12-14 07:41:01 PM
I think I'd just get a 10acre estate the gf and I could putter around on in my 28 Chevy, and have picnics and shiat.
 
2013-12-14 07:49:34 PM
The biggest problem I see in winning that jackpot is that I'd quickly need both a lawyer and an accountant... THAT I CAN TRUST. I'm pretty sure I can get a trustworthy accountant (I've known one for years), but finding a lawyer who wouldn't have an insane amount of dollar signs in his/her eyes because I was the big winner would be another story altogether.

I'll tell you, this Punk would be a VERY difficult person to get a hold of shortly after winning that jackpot.
 
2013-12-14 07:52:29 PM
Considering the prices right now I'd buy Detroit for $40k, mow it down and build my own city.
It would look like Org
 
2013-12-14 07:56:18 PM
Just listening to the silly ass stories of what people would do with all that money reminds me of how easy it is to rope people in to this racket.
 
2013-12-14 07:59:47 PM
I'd have drew kidnapped and forced to watch buzzfeed clockwork Orange style.
 
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