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(Eater)   Brooklyn hipsters proclaim bacon OVER, are now into artisanal porridge "made from a variety of ancient, global, and gluten-free grains." A steal at $7 a bowl   (eater.com) divider line 19
    More: Ironic, natural kind, pop-up shop, Specialty store  
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4065 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Dec 2013 at 3:53 PM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
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2013-12-14 04:38:42 PM
3 votes:
My porridge is artisan-crafted by the descendants of a 17th century religious refugee and individually packaged in serving-size portions.
www.mybeautifulmessblog.com
2013-12-14 04:00:26 PM
3 votes:
Hmmmmm.............the more I hear the word "hipster" used in this manner, the more I'm thinking it's another word for "DoucheBag".
2013-12-14 04:27:20 PM
2 votes:

FrancoFile: How do I get ahead of the next hipster fad so I can sell them ridiculous junk at a 6000% markup?


My advice and advice I've been giving everyone: start a macaroon bakery.

ichef.bbci.co.uk

It perfectly encapsulates things hipsters like. Childishly colourful, European and individualised. So, people can choose how many of each colour they want, and you charge them through the nose for the privilege. I mean, people in London were charging £2 for a farking cupcake.

The big thing is the marketing. You've got to get your presentation right. You might be a dude operating out of an industrial unit in New Jersey, but you need to push the buttons that makes people think that you're a charmant mademoiselle baking them in her kitchen by hand. Maybe get some silly van to deliver them in to reinforce it.
2013-12-14 04:24:48 PM
2 votes:

meatofmystery: This whole bacon = manliness and cool is becoming the internet equivalent of buying a hummer with a pair of nuts on the tow hitch.


Who ever said bacon = manliness and cool? Bacon is just uniquely delicious.
2013-12-14 08:28:13 PM
1 votes:
Now I'm hungry for grits.
2013-12-14 07:32:03 PM
1 votes:
This gluten free shiat is stupid as balls...
2013-12-14 06:02:02 PM
1 votes:

farkeruk: FrancoFile: How do I get ahead of the next hipster fad so I can sell them ridiculous junk at a 6000% markup?

My advice and advice I've been giving everyone: start a macaroon bakery.

[ichef.bbci.co.uk image 448x256]

It perfectly encapsulates things hipsters like. Childishly colourful, European and individualised. So, people can choose how many of each colour they want, and you charge them through the nose for the privilege. I mean, people in London were charging £2 for a farking cupcake.

The big thing is the marketing. You've got to get your presentation right. You might be a dude operating out of an industrial unit in New Jersey, but you need to push the buttons that makes people think that you're a charmant mademoiselle baking them in her kitchen by hand. Maybe get some silly van to deliver them in to reinforce it.


You're a farking genius. Call it Coloroon, do the place in the hues of a basic Crayola box, making a lavish/ridiculous and tedious time consuming fuss over placing the Coloroons into the box (their 'Homearoon') and change payment accepted for every customer: checks only no cash; debit not credit etcetera. Tie the boxes closed with paired multi-color thin ribbon and sisal twine, insisting the customer comes to a reserved area of the Roonery (because Bakery will never do) where you make them place their finger for the knot as an assistant coaches them in how to say "finger" in three obscure languages. Repaint the Roonery using the basic Crayola shades but in different geometric patterns every Sunday night. Make customers stand outside when it rains, all the while apologizing profusely that the humidity plays havoc with the essence of the Roon. Have your workers wear bizarre Elton John lensless glasses and flour in their hair for no reason whatsoever.
2013-12-14 05:49:08 PM
1 votes:
Lilplatinum:

I like how people are acting like $7 is a lot for a food item in New York city.  Thats a farking sandwich or almost a full value meal at McDonalds for christs sake


Oh look at mister fancy pants who can afford daily full value meals at McDonalds!

Do you show up wearing a monocle, top hat and spats when you eat your posh breakfast sandwich?

All I can afford is gruel and I like it.
2013-12-14 05:25:38 PM
1 votes:
Brooklyn hipsters put the anal in artisanal.
2013-12-14 05:15:22 PM
1 votes:
I recently took a day trip over the Brooklyn with my wife and a female friend who lives in Astoria, Queens. Our friend swore to us that the hipsters that we see parodied on TV actually exist. I vehemently denied that such silliness actually existed.

Well, we came up out of the subway and GODDAMN if they weren't EVERYWHERE. Each one more ridiculous-looking than the next. The ironic t-shirts. The thick-rimmed glasses. The farking BEARDS. We went into a small cafe and while sitting al fresco in the rear noticed that every single person in the immediate area was wearing some variant of Tom's Shoes.These people have "individualized" themselves right into generic commonality.
2013-12-14 04:50:35 PM
1 votes:
Yah well, Brooklyn hipsters can suck my taint.  I'm sure it'll taste better then that blob of home schooled brown sugar with a sprinkle of re-branded cherrios dust in a bowl.
2013-12-14 04:37:14 PM
1 votes:

i46.tinypic.com

2013-12-14 04:33:32 PM
1 votes:
"Artisanal" and "ancient" literally, mathematically cannot apply to any kind of porridge that's both edible and non-GM.  And "gluten free" means that it has to lack any and all grains that traditionally  go into porridge.  Technically it could be "global", but since the US produces like half the world's grain and we don't really import any that's unlikely.

So I guess it's hipster because the advertising is ironic in the actual sense of saying the opposite of what is actually meant?
2013-12-14 04:25:38 PM
1 votes:

TV's Vinnie: Hmmmmm.............the more I hear the word "hipster" used in this manner, the more I'm thinking it's another word for "DoucheBag".


Not exactly. "Douchebag" is just a broad category that includes hipsters, among other things.
2013-12-14 04:19:24 PM
1 votes:

dusty15893: [www.hollywoodreporter.com image 648x365]

Artisian Knot store approves


So THAT'S where Jeff Goldblum is these days.
2013-12-14 04:12:58 PM
1 votes:

Hector Remarkable: Mmmmm..... gruel for douchebags.


Douchegruel. That's my next band's name.
2013-12-14 04:10:37 PM
1 votes:

WTF Indeed: moeburn: Why gluten free? are all hipsters allergic to gluten?

Hipsters are allergic to things you haven't even heard about.



How insulting. Of course I have heard of bathing.
2013-12-14 04:03:03 PM
1 votes:
The fact that something opens in Brooklyn therefore means every white person in Brooklyn dines there.

/every hipster I know has laughed when walking past that place
2013-12-14 04:00:56 PM
1 votes:
Don't leave me in suspense, subby. What is this bacon over, and where can I get some?
 
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