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(Gawker)   THIS is how you deal with customer complaints on social media. Bonus: ...and get tons of new business   (gawker.com) divider line 33
    More: Spiffy, customer complaint, return on investments  
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7420 clicks; posted to Business » on 14 Dec 2013 at 1:03 PM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-14 12:47:20 PM
PERFECTION
 
2013-12-14 01:12:09 PM
After a year in customer service, I believe you are legally allowed to slap one customer. This reward grows each successive year.
 
2013-12-14 01:14:07 PM
If I were the boss of that company, I'd have refunded the woman's money and sent her a complimentary bottle.

Of course, I'd have shoved it up my ass first - just the tip, though. My dedication to customer service stops at prolapsing myself.
 
2013-12-14 01:15:59 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: After a year in customer service...


I know you've heard this one.

Some lawyer: "Do you know how much my time is worth?"

/ The correct answer is "To me?"
 
2013-12-14 01:31:14 PM
Ryan Clark: I normally do not  hop into Facebook but this one needed addressed.

He's a yinzer.
 
2013-12-14 01:31:18 PM

jaytkay: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: After a year in customer service...

I know you've heard this one.

Some lawyer: "Do you know how much my time is worth?"

/ The correct answer is "To me?"


I recall a time I was working at a dead-end computer parts company (late 80s). A guy called in asking about his order, and I had to go check on something, so I put him on hold and told him it might be a few minutes, to which he said "OK." I came back within a couple of minutes, and the words immediately out of his mouth were "I'm attorney Richard Thomas. Do you know how fscking much my time is worth?" To which I had a Peter Gibbons moment - "Get over yourself. You're not that important." Got fired. Felt great!
 
2013-12-14 01:49:34 PM
I ran a fairly successful ecommerce company. I hate this type of consumer. I was very glad that I was the co-boss.

I got to vent on the guy after listening to him rail on me for awhile, then my partner would call back and smooth things over.
 
2013-12-14 01:56:00 PM
I usually avoid clicking on links to any Gawker site, but I decided to click on this one for some reason. I should have known that the commentators would by biatching that a company states they hire vets, supports local and American businesses, and lets their employees have the weekends off.
 
2013-12-14 02:03:13 PM
That was not a customer complaint. It was a nutcase.
 
2013-12-14 02:15:11 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: After a year in customer service, I believe you are legally allowed to slap one customer. This reward grows each successive year.


In my last retail job, a coworker's favorite line was "Management lets us tell one customer a year to f*ck off, and I'm not going to waste it on you". Whether he ever actually said that to a customer is debatable.
 
2013-12-14 02:21:11 PM
I've been on both sides of it. I paid for a service for 20 years and they totally screwed me over. I went and lost it on them. I also lost it when a bank misposted a transfer, wiping out my life savings at the time. On the other hand, I worked at a small software company and regularly got phone calls from people who refused to read the manual. One professor got mad at me and said he was a very important man and didn't have time to read the manual. I told him to get one of his grad students to use the app instead. Didn't get fired. The boss knew that the expectation was the customers should read the manual.
 
2013-12-14 02:31:20 PM
I wanna work for this guy.
 
2013-12-14 03:20:27 PM

neilbradley: jaytkay: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: After a year in customer service...

I know you've heard this one.

Some lawyer: "Do you know how much my time is worth?"

/ The correct answer is "To me?"

I recall a time I was working at a dead-end computer parts company (late 80s). A guy called in asking about his order, and I had to go check on something, so I put him on hold and told him it might be a few minutes, to which he said "OK." I came back within a couple of minutes, and the words immediately out of his mouth were "I'm attorney Richard Thomas. Do you know how fscking much my time is worth?" To which I had a Peter Gibbons moment - "Get over yourself. You're not that important." Got fired. Felt great!


HA! I worked as a service writer for a now defunct car company named after a planet. A 50ish lady called in with a flat tire one day, and after getting her and her car towed in she proceeded to tell me how the flat tire on the freeway was the worst thing that had ever happened to her in her whole life.

And I told her she was having a pretty good life. I quit a couple of weeks later
 
2013-12-14 03:35:20 PM
Sounds like a company I will be doing business with.
 
2013-12-14 03:51:21 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: After a year in customer service, I believe you are legally allowed to slap one customer. This reward grows each successive year.


Wait.  Which part of the reward grows?  Is it that I get to slap more than one customer in increasing amounts?  That's not bad, but I might not get full closure there.

Or do I get to escalate my violence on one customer each year?  First year, a slap.  Second year, a  slap and a gut punch, etc. to retirement where I can take them to Reno and shoot them just to watch them die?

I mean, these sorts of details are important if I'm going to make a choice in changing my career, here.

/Gratuitous Johnny Cash reference included free of charge.
//No Johnny Cash reference is gratuitous.
///Triple slashies are, though.
////If it's the latter, is it just one specific customer, like Fred Jones?  How do they get him to keep shopping there?
 
2013-12-14 04:31:21 PM
As an co-owner of a small business, I get that person you just can't make happy a few times a year. They want your supervisor, or say, "Do I need to go higher?".

I put them on hold for five to ten minutes. Then, pick up, and say very sweetly, "This is owner, what can I do for you?".
 
2013-12-14 04:47:20 PM
What happens next?  Did Diane slap him?
 
2013-12-14 05:36:48 PM

JakeStone: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: After a year in customer service, I believe you are legally allowed to slap one customer. This reward grows each successive year.

Wait.  Which part of the reward grows?  Is it that I get to slap more than one customer in increasing amounts?  That's not bad, but I might not get full closure there.

Or do I get to escalate my violence on one customer each year?  First year, a slap.  Second year, a  slap and a gut punch, etc. to retirement where I can take them to Reno and shoot them just to watch them die?

I mean, these sorts of details are important if I'm going to make a choice in changing my career, here.

/Gratuitous Johnny Cash reference included free of charge.
//No Johnny Cash reference is gratuitous.
///Triple slashies are, though.
////If it's the latter, is it just one specific customer, like Fred Jones?  How do they get him to keep shopping there?


I know you're being snarky, but I giggled. Increasing the number of slaps, arithmetically, for every addition year in customer service. I like to imagine some 40 year veteran having been a good worker all their life and then just snapping on some jackoff in December.
 
2013-12-14 07:03:41 PM

neilbradley: jaytkay: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: After a year in customer service...

I know you've heard this one.

Some lawyer: "Do you know how much my time is worth?"

/ The correct answer is "To me?"

I recall a time I was working at a dead-end computer parts company (late 80s). A guy called in asking about his order, and I had to go check on something, so I put him on hold and told him it might be a few minutes, to which he said "OK." I came back within a couple of minutes, and the words immediately out of his mouth were "I'm attorney Richard Thomas. Do you know how fscking much my time is worth?" To which I had a Peter Gibbons moment - "Get over yourself. You're not that important." Got fired. Felt great!


Similar situation, a doctor on hold for five minutes, caller said almost the exact same thing. I said, "I apologize for wasting your time" and hung up. He didn't call back, which was too bad because we were all ready to blurt out the answer to his original question in about five seconds.
 
2013-12-14 07:20:51 PM

Enlightened Liberal: I usually avoid clicking on links to any Gawker site, but I decided to click on this one for some reason. I should have known that the commentators would by biatching that a company states they hire vets, supports local and American businesses, and lets their employees have the weekends off.


My god, it's like a more retarded DailyKos.
 
2013-12-14 08:04:50 PM
The only time I stopped a customer cold was when they asked for the manager to complain about me, and I was the manager.  I put them on hold for a moment, picked back up, listened to the rant, and said, "She's unmanageable," and hung up.  I fessed up to the owner, who enjoyed a good pun, and nothing ever happened.

Just wish he hadn't retired.  Probably the best one I've ever had.
 
2013-12-14 08:06:22 PM
I own an IT services business, so we often deal with pushy, overbearing customers.  Usually, we are pretty forgiving, but once in a while, they go over the line with one of my techs.  And when it happens I call the customer directly and tell them that they will never speak to one of my employees in a condescending manner again.  If they do, we are done with them.  My standard line is, if you want to rant and rave, you are welcome to call me.  My techs don't get paid enough to listen to you lose your shiat.  Even if the tech messed up, you still don't abuse them.  Period.

I've never once lost a customer this way, and I think my employees appreciate that I have their back.
 
2013-12-14 09:16:50 PM

Close2TheEdge: I own an IT services business, so we often deal with pushy, overbearing customers.  Usually, we are pretty forgiving, but once in a while, they go over the line with one of my techs.  And when it happens I call the customer directly and tell them that they will never speak to one of my employees in a condescending manner again.  If they do, we are done with them.  My standard line is, if you want to rant and rave, you are welcome to call me.  My techs don't get paid enough to listen to you lose your shiat.  Even if the tech messed up, you still don't abuse them.  Period.

I've never once lost a customer this way, and I think my employees appreciate that I have their back.


You should get them a TF subscription and one for yourself. Don't be such a scrooge.
 
2013-12-14 10:55:45 PM
is everyone in washington a hipster d-bag?
 
2013-12-14 11:14:43 PM
JakeStone:

Wait.  Which part of the reward grows?  Is it that I get to slap more than one customer in increasing amounts?  That's not bad, but I might not get full closure there.

They carry over year to year, and can be combined into either a day long mass slapping spree, or one big act against a single person.  So if you're patient throughout your entire career, then on the day you retire you get to blow up a customer's house with the customer in it.
 
2013-12-15 12:16:37 AM
I typically have a water bottle at work.  I've never heard of "Liberty BottleWorks", but this article really makes me want one.  So the FB post succeeded.

/I support the feelings reflected in the FB post
 
2013-12-15 01:13:51 AM
This is how you deal with Gawker links.

img.gawkerassets.com
/for those who don't want to click on Gawker
 
2013-12-15 05:56:44 AM
Why are so many comments pissed off because the guy talks about supporting hiring vets, green manufacturing, weekends off, etc.?  I get it if he is lying, but if they do all of that then he has to advertise it so that the people who can afford to support those type of companies can do so.
 
2013-12-15 10:00:25 AM
I hate metal water bottles. Makes the water taste funny.
 
2013-12-15 01:26:34 PM

nyseattitude: I hate metal water bottles. Makes the water taste funny.


Sounds like you've been buying your bottles from Two Dogs' company.
 
2013-12-15 02:07:39 PM

bill4935: nyseattitude: I hate metal water bottles. Makes the water taste funny.

Sounds like you've been buying your bottles from Two Dogs' company.


img.fark.net
 
2013-12-15 02:15:59 PM

Close2TheEdge: I own an IT services business, so we often deal with pushy, overbearing customers.  Usually, we are pretty forgiving, but once in a while, they go over the line with one of my techs.  And when it happens I call the customer directly and tell them that they will never speak to one of my employees in a condescending manner again.  If they do, we are done with them.  My standard line is, if you want to rant and rave, you are welcome to call me.  My techs don't get paid enough to listen to you lose your shiat.  Even if the tech messed up, you still don't abuse them.  Period.

I've never once lost a customer this way, and I think my employees appreciate that I have their back.


You're either full of shiat or should be considered a Saint in the eyes of your employees.  Either way...favorited.  Got any openings?
 
2013-12-15 03:02:40 PM
Health care program.
 
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