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(The Week)   You're just six easy conversational steps away from being popular. Well, since you're reading this on Fark, make that seven steps away   (theweek.com) divider line 84
    More: Interesting, crisis negotiation, Daniel Kahneman, a step away  
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8323 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Dec 2013 at 10:35 AM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-14 10:36:39 AM
All of those actually do work, but be aware that there are some people out there --trust me on this -- who will tolerate only a few instances of number 5 before punching you in the mouth.
 
2013-12-14 10:39:29 AM

Pocket Ninja: All of those actually do work, but be aware that there are some people out there --trust me on this -- who will tolerate only a few instances of number 5 before punching you in the mouth.


I am one.
 
2013-12-14 10:40:56 AM
Deslidified

1.  Only fondle self through pocket
2.  Do not make eye contact while ejaculating
3.  Comment on which stage of puberty their children should be blossoming through
4.  Use more ethnic slurs
5.  Use punchlines that include references to their mother (sexual or violent)
6.  Offer ketamine before departing
 
2013-12-14 10:41:02 AM

Pocket Ninja: All of those actually do work, but be aware that there are some people out there --trust me on this -- who will tolerate only a few instances of number 5 before punching you in the mouth.


in the mouth?
 
2013-12-14 10:42:01 AM
I find giving girls money a very useful way for them to like me - at least for one night.

Why listen to them use their mouth to talk when it can be used for other pleasurable purposes?
 
2013-12-14 10:42:22 AM

Mugato: in the mouth?


Yes, in the mouth.
 
2013-12-14 10:42:29 AM
Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh Boy!
farm9.staticflickr.com

Popular!
 
2013-12-14 10:44:20 AM
Salesman here.

It's really 3 steps.

1: ask someone something
2: listen to what they say not what you want to say as a rebuttal
3: ask them a follow up question based on their responce
 
ecl
2013-12-14 10:45:25 AM
Next up could Fark plug some jackoffs book about how we should be networking and keeping lists of our contacts and calling them on their childrens birthdays?
 
2013-12-14 10:45:39 AM

No Soap Radio: Pocket Ninja: All of those actually do work, but be aware that there are some people out there --trust me on this -- who will tolerate only a few instances of number 5 before punching you in the mouth.

I am one.


As am I.
 
2013-12-14 10:46:20 AM
I thought at least one way was by washing your hair once every two weeks.  Also, you should tell Johnny Football Hero that you liked his article in the newspaper.
 
2013-12-14 10:47:31 AM
DNRTA:  I have a friend who is widely regarded as the most charming person anyone has ever met...and he is magnificently charming.  His trick is this: no matter what the other person might say ('I think kittens are cute' OR 'Hitler had some good ideas'), his response is, "I'm SO glad you said that!"
He might be sincere or not, but it always works.
 
2013-12-14 10:48:08 AM

ecl: Next up could Fark plug some jackoffs book about how we should be networking and keeping lists of our contacts and calling them on their childrens birthdays?


Give the enemy nothing.

/Torches the fields.
 
2013-12-14 10:48:44 AM
Encourage people to talk about themselves

I have a terrible habit of forgetting this part when someone asks me what I'm up to. I'll go on and on, and then say "See ya later!" and take off. I've been working for some time on following up with "How about you? What are you doing these days?"

Course, then I gotta listen them go on and on, and that sucks. :-/
 
2013-12-14 10:48:51 AM

Pocket Ninja: All of those actually do work, but be aware that there are some people out there --trust me on this -- who will tolerate only a few instances of number 5 before punching you in the mouth.


In the mouth?
 
2013-12-14 10:50:27 AM

Evil Mackerel: No Soap Radio: Pocket Ninja: All of those actually do work, but be aware that there are some people out there --trust me on this -- who will tolerate only a few instances of number 5 before punching you in the mouth.

I am one.

As am I.


In the mouth.
I am one.
As am I.

/Me too.
//Do I stutter?
 
2013-12-14 10:50:27 AM

ecl: Next up could Fark plug some jackoffs book about how we should be networking and keeping lists of our contacts and calling them on their childrens birthdays?


Their childrens birthdays?
 
ecl
2013-12-14 10:51:33 AM

tatum: DNRTA:  I have a friend who is widely regarded as the most charming gay person anyone has ever met...and he is magnificently charming.  His trick is this: no matter what the other person might say ('I think kittens are cute' OR 'Hitler had some good ideas'), his response is, "I'm SO glad you said that!"
He might be sincere or not, but it always works.


I can't imagine a straight man saying  "I'm SO glad you said that!" NTTAWWT
 
GBB
2013-12-14 10:51:45 AM

Betep: Evil Mackerel: No Soap Radio: Pocket Ninja: All of those actually do work, but be aware that there are some people out there --trust me on this -- who will tolerate only a few instances of number 5 before punching you in the mouth.

I am one.

As am I.

In the mouth.
I am one.
As am I.

/Me too.
//Do I stutter?


Stutter??
 
2013-12-14 10:52:18 AM
www.wearysloth.com
 
2013-12-14 10:52:38 AM

Betep: Evil Mackerel: No Soap Radio: Pocket Ninja: All of those actually do work, but be aware that there are some people out there --trust me on this -- who will tolerate only a few instances of number 5 before punching you in the mouth.

I am one.

As am I.

In the mouth.
I am one.
As am I.

/Me too.
//Do I stutter?


Do I stutter?
 
ecl
2013-12-14 10:53:32 AM

the_peddler: ecl: Next up could Fark plug some jackoffs book about how we should be networking and keeping lists of our contacts and calling them on their childrens birthdays?

Their childrens birthdays?


Dead serious.
 
2013-12-14 10:53:55 AM

Schroedinger's Glory Hole: Deslidified

1.  Only fondle self through pocket
2.  Do not make eye contact while ejaculating
3.  Comment on which stage of puberty their children should be blossoming through
4.  Use more ethnic slurs
5.  Use punchlines that include references to their mother (sexual or violent)
6.  Offer ketamine before departing


That's the funniest goddamn thing I've seen in at least a month. Well done!
 
2013-12-14 10:54:50 AM

tatum: DNRTA:  I have a friend who is widely regarded as the most charming person anyone has ever met...and he is magnificently charming.  His trick is this: no matter what the other person might say ('I think kittens are cute' OR 'Hitler had some good ideas'), his response is, "I'm SO glad you said that!"
He might be sincere or not, but it always works.


Bullshiat.

All your friends are mouth breathers and are so into themselves they'll take an empty compliment.

Maybe try listening and engaging the conversation next time. It'll come off much more sincere and an actual connection might be made.
 
2013-12-14 10:58:52 AM

scotchcrotch: tatum: DNRTA:  I have a friend who is widely regarded as the most charming person anyone has ever met...and he is magnificently charming.  His trick is this: no matter what the other person might say ('I think kittens are cute' OR 'Hitler had some good ideas'), his response is, "I'm SO glad you said that!"
He might be sincere or not, but it always works.

Bullshiat.

All your friends are mouth breathers and are so into themselves they'll take an empty compliment.

Maybe try listening and engaging the conversation next time. It'll come off much more sincere and an actual connection might be made.


You should write an article.
 
2013-12-14 10:59:26 AM
Did not include suggesting to make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean, washing it at least every two weeks.

/leaving sad
 
2013-12-14 11:01:57 AM

The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: scotchcrotch: tatum: DNRTA:  I have a friend who is widely regarded as the most charming person anyone has ever met...and he is magnificently charming.  His trick is this: no matter what the other person might say ('I think kittens are cute' OR 'Hitler had some good ideas'), his response is, "I'm SO glad you said that!"
He might be sincere or not, but it always works.

Bullshiat.

All your friends are mouth breathers and are so into themselves they'll take an empty compliment.

Maybe try listening and engaging the conversation next time. It'll come off much more sincere and an actual connection might be made.

You should write an article.


I thought I just did
 
2013-12-14 11:03:57 AM
I do all of that except the repeating words thing (which I realize works, but still find too weird to actually do) and only ever ask advice when I don't really need it.

Unfortunately, I didn't really do any of it in high school so I sort of missed the boat on "popular" being a thing.
 
2013-12-14 11:04:52 AM
Shows what you know subby. I'm waaay more than seven steps away from the nearest person.

/wait, what?
//not really.
 
2013-12-14 11:05:09 AM
You have to be as attractive as possible. Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean. Wash it at least every two weeks.

Once every two weeks!
 
2013-12-14 11:07:55 AM

scotchcrotch: You should write an article.

I thought I just did


Slideshow format, dipshiat. It's all we know anymore. That, and how to take selfies.
 
2013-12-14 11:08:10 AM

Yakk: Salesman here.

It's really 3 steps.

1: ask someone something
2: listen to what they say not what you want to say as a rebuttal
3: ask them a follow up question based on their responce


Another sales technique that I've found works for me is to get people in momentum of saying yes.

"Is this Canal street?"
"Does the 55 bus stop here?"
....
"Can you spare some change?"
 
2013-12-14 11:13:03 AM

scotchcrotch: tatum: DNRTA:  I have a friend who is widely regarded as the most charming person anyone has ever met...and he is magnificently charming.  His trick is this: no matter what the other person might say ('I think kittens are cute' OR 'Hitler had some good ideas'), his response is, "I'm SO glad you said that!"
He might be sincere or not, but it always works.

Bullshiat.

All your friends are mouth breathers and are so into themselves they'll take an empty compliment.

Maybe try listening and engaging the conversation next time. It'll come off much more sincere and an actual connection might be made.


southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com

Wow, that is very interesting. Please tell me more
 
2013-12-14 11:16:26 AM

Yakk: Salesman here.

It's really 3 steps.

1: ask someone something
2: listen to what they say not what you want to say as a rebuttal
3: ask them a follow up question based on their responce


So the opposite of Fark then?
 
2013-12-14 11:16:34 AM

Schroedinger's Glory Hole: Deslidified

1.  Only fondle self through pocket
2.  Do not make eye contact while ejaculating
3.  Comment on which stage of puberty their children should be blossoming through
4.  Use more ethnic slurs
5.  Use punchlines that include references to their mother (sexual or violent)
6.  Offer ketamine before departing


Very good. If I got tattoos this would be them.
 
ecl
2013-12-14 11:19:09 AM

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Schroedinger's Glory Hole: Deslidified

1.  Only fondle self through pocket
2.  Do not make eye contact while ejaculating
3.  Comment on which stage of puberty their children should be blossoming through
4.  Use more ethnic slurs
5.  Use punchlines that include references to their mother (sexual or violent)
6.  Offer ketamine before departing

Very good. If I got tattoos this would be them.


Just use a pen.
wwwimage.cbsnews.com
 
2013-12-14 11:19:21 AM
5. Repeat the last three words
I'm an asshole?
 
2013-12-14 11:19:47 AM
Seven steps away?
 
2013-12-14 11:22:28 AM
7. Pay attention to your body language. Smile. People who smile are perceived as not only happier and more likeable, but smarter and more competent. Mirror their body position. It shows the two of your are in sync.
 
2013-12-14 11:22:49 AM
I guess.  It's really easy to screw any of those up and piss people off, though:

1.  Putting people on the spot is annoying.
2.  "Guiding" someone to the right answer via questions can be super farking annoying if you beat around the bush instead of just coming out and saying "Didn't you leave out X"?
3.  See 1.
4.  See 1.
5.  Pocket Ninja is absolutely right about this.  Absolutely right?  *BAM*
6.  Except when you make it sound like you're doing it at the expense of the person you're talking to.  You've been busting your ass on some project, and then your boss comes along and tells you how great Bob did on a similar project he's now finished with.  Yeah that's awkward.
 
2013-12-14 11:24:50 AM

tatum: DNRTA:  I have a friend who is widely regarded as the most charming person anyone has ever met...and he is magnificently charming.  His trick is this: no matter what the other person might say ('I think kittens are cute' OR 'Hitler had some good ideas'), his response is, "I'm SO glad you said that!"
He might be sincere or not, but it always works.


It always works? I'm just, SOOOOO glad you said that!!

Hmm, I feel dirty. Your friend has a dirty, whore mouth.
 
2013-12-14 11:30:44 AM
Seven, huh???

How Convenient ya had to go and make it a prime number, just for the aspies.

Yore sick, subby.
 
2013-12-14 11:30:52 AM

tatum: DNRTA:  I have a friend who is widely regarded as the most charming person anyone has ever met...and he is magnificently charming.  His trick is this: no matter what the other person might say ('I think kittens are cute' OR 'Hitler had some good ideas'), his response is, "I'm SO glad you said that!"
He might be sincere or not, but it always works.


I dont trust charming people, I see the word charm as a verb, to charm.
 
2013-12-14 11:30:52 AM

Fuggin Bizzy: Encourage people to talk about themselves

I have a terrible habit of forgetting this part when someone asks me what I'm up to. I'll go on and on, and then say "See ya later!" and take off. I've been working for some time on following up with "How about you? What are you doing these days?"

Course, then I gotta listen them go on and on, and that sucks. :-/


That's the downside of that technique. You're not allowed to yawn and check your phone messages while they do that.
/not popular
 
2013-12-14 11:37:55 AM
Anyone who's paying attention will catch on to #5 and the person trying that trick will look like a manipulative weasel.  As an advertising tool this method needs to go down in flames.

There's also a positive correlation between #5 and buzzphrase use, particularly "reach out".
 
2013-12-14 11:45:18 AM

plushpuppy: tatum: DNRTA:  I have a friend who is widely regarded as the most charming person anyone has ever met...and he is magnificently charming.  His trick is this: no matter what the other person might say ('I think kittens are cute' OR 'Hitler had some good ideas'), his response is, "I'm SO glad you said that!"
He might be sincere or not, but it always works.

I dont trust charming people, I see the word charm as a verb, to charm.


I've gotta agree with this. I can usually tell when someone is attempting to employ techniques like these. They generally come across as manipulative and disingenuous. Not very popular traits in my book.

/phony people creep me the math out
 
2013-12-14 11:46:06 AM

Yakk: Salesman here.

It's really 3 steps.

1: ask someone something
2: listen to what they say not what you want to say as a rebuttal
3: ask them a follow up question based on their responce


That really is the trick to selling someone something. If you listen to them talk about what they want for an appropriate amount of time based on the purchase (I'm assuming it takes longer for cars and houses than a new DSLR), and then make a recommendation, and specifically referencing what they said when you suggest a product, people will buy pretty much whatever you suggest.
 
2013-12-14 11:53:26 AM

scotchcrotch: tatum: DNRTA:  I have a friend who is widely regarded as the most charming person anyone has ever met...and he is magnificently charming.  His trick is this: no matter what the other person might say ('I think kittens are cute' OR 'Hitler had some good ideas'), his response is, "I'm SO glad you said that!"
He might be sincere or not, but it always works.

Bullshiat.

All your friends are mouth breathers and are so into themselves they'll take an empty compliment.

Maybe try listening and engaging the conversation next time. It'll come off much more sincere and an actual connection might be made.


I am SO glad you said that.
 
2013-12-14 12:25:15 PM
i1136.photobucket.com

Worked for me. Now I gotta beat 'em off with a stick!
 
2013-12-14 12:25:41 PM

BBtB: scotchcrotch: tatum: DNRTA:  I have a friend who is widely regarded as the most charming person anyone has ever met...and he is magnificently charming.  His trick is this: no matter what the other person might say ('I think kittens are cute' OR 'Hitler had some good ideas'), his response is, "I'm SO glad you said that!"
He might be sincere or not, but it always works.

Bullshiat.

All your friends are mouth breathers and are so into themselves they'll take an empty compliment.

Maybe try listening and engaging the conversation next time. It'll come off much more sincere and an actual connection might be made.

I am SO glad you said that.


You're glad scotchcrotch said that?  Hey, been meaning to ask, your mom's hot isn't she?
 
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