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(TMZ)   86-year-old Howard Stern listener wins date with prostitute so he can get some for the first time since before YOU last got some - but dies minutes before the big moment, after choking on a piece of meat   (tmz.com) divider line 106
    More: Ironic, Dennis Hof, Johnny Orris, Bunny Ranch, the elderly, Howard Stern, TMZ  
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13661 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Dec 2013 at 12:00 AM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



106 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-13 10:39:24 PM
And his Grandson got herpes. It's a Chistmas miracle!
 
2013-12-13 11:49:19 PM
Should have given it to the dog
 
2013-12-14 12:02:33 AM
So, this was a *male* prostitute?
 
2013-12-14 12:02:38 AM
So it was a male prostitute...?
 
2013-12-14 12:03:57 AM

SpdrJay: So, this was a *male* prostitute?


So close!

/That's what she said!
 
2013-12-14 12:04:39 AM
They still could have had sex with him dead. In fact, it might have made things less hard.


Err, I mean easier.
 
2013-12-14 12:06:00 AM
but did he get tickets to the goddamned birthday show?!
 
2013-12-14 12:06:12 AM
I don't even want to read the article. I'm happy with subby's thumbnail synopsis.
 
2013-12-14 12:06:30 AM
Oh man. Talk about a horrible, horrible fate. Nearly a century of never having had sex? That's got to be a Hell all of it's own.
 
2013-12-14 12:07:53 AM
Bababooey!
 
2013-12-14 12:07:59 AM
Filling up on steak before going to town with two hookers sounds like a bad idea even if you don't choke to death. Just have a light snack and save the steak for afterwards.
 
2013-12-14 12:08:57 AM
1987 was a LONG time ago.. but I tell ya, I wouldn't trade this streak for anything.. back in the Navy I was an alcoholic and a sex addict.. well.. So far I haven't been able to stay sober very long.. so I will take any streak I can...

that and being fugly probably doesn't help.. lol.. but hey.. I have standards.. and so far no woman has even come close to them.. ok.. So I lied... the only standards I HAD were that they had to be non smokers and alive... Now I have removed the alive from the standards... so who knows..
 
2013-12-14 12:10:03 AM
"Ed (the grandson and contest enteree) tells us, he felt bad leaving the Ranch without sampling the goods -- especially after traveling so far -- so he banged one of the hookers after his grandpa died. Not Caressa or Vanity, though. That would have been weird..."

Ha!
 
2013-12-14 12:11:05 AM

Kazahmish: 1987 was a LONG time ago.. but I tell ya, I wouldn't trade this streak for anything.. back in the Navy I was an alcoholic and a sex addict.. well.. So far I haven't been able to stay sober very long.. so I will take any streak I can...

that and being fugly probably doesn't help.. lol.. but hey.. I have standards.. and so far no woman has even come close to them.. ok.. So I lied... the only standards I HAD were that they had to be non smokers and alive... Now I have removed the alive from the standards... so who knows..


Aaaand, I'm putting on more clothes.
 
2013-12-14 12:13:06 AM

foo monkey: And his Grandson got herpes. It's a Chistmas miracle!


This was the legal brothels in Nevada--very, very few STDs.
 
2013-12-14 12:14:09 AM
Po ho
 
2013-12-14 12:14:29 AM
Man... life is a real biatch some days.
 
2013-12-14 12:15:09 AM

Kazahmish: 1987 was a LONG time ago.. but I tell ya, I wouldn't trade this streak for anything.. back in the Navy I was an alcoholic and a sex addict.. well.. So far I haven't been able to stay sober very long.. so I will take any streak I can...

that and being fugly probably doesn't help.. lol.. but hey.. I have standards.. and so far no woman has even come close to them.. ok.. So I lied... the only standards I HAD were that they had to be non smokers and alive... Now I have removed the alive from the standards... so who knows..


www.sffaudio.com
 
2013-12-14 12:15:12 AM
i866.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-14 12:15:36 AM
Wow. What a time to kick it.
 
2013-12-14 12:16:59 AM
No, this is pretty much just a sad story all around.
 
2013-12-14 12:17:29 AM
Wow. That story really lived up/down to Fark standards. Those who don't read it really don't know what they're missing.
 
2013-12-14 12:19:21 AM
What's up with that headline subby?  Shouldn't it go "so he can get some, since his last time was before your first time"?
 
2013-12-14 12:19:28 AM
The Aristocrats!
 
2013-12-14 12:22:50 AM
Dad?
 
2013-12-14 12:26:52 AM

foo monkey: And his Grandson got herpes. It's a Chistmas miracle!


There was a Cracked article the other day written by a former Bunny Ranch worker. They apparently get weekly STD tests and they themselves inspect the Johns' junk for outward signs of STDs. Unfortunately for them, many STDs in men present no symptoms. Hence the weekly STD tests.

I feel bad for the old dude, but I'm also morally repressed in a way that makes me believe that's really not the way to go about it. Go join a retirement community and get it on with multiple babes for free.

And the grandson used the farking coupon himself AFTER his grandfather died?

Also, I'm no expert on first aid, but is CPR the correct move for somebody who is choking?
 
2013-12-14 12:29:06 AM
This is what's wrong with society. Our elderly are so poor, they can't even afford to hire their own prostitutes.

"He said he fantasized about big-breasted black women."
I like this guy already. It's a shame he's dead.
 
ecl
2013-12-14 12:30:15 AM

casual disregard: foo monkey: And his Grandson got herpes. It's a Chistmas miracle!

There was a Cracked article the other day written by a former Bunny Ranch worker. They apparently get weekly STD tests and they themselves inspect the Johns' junk for outward signs of STDs. Unfortunately for them, many STDs in men present no symptoms. Hence the weekly STD tests.

I feel bad for the old dude, but I'm also morally repressed in a way that makes me believe that's really not the way to go about it. Go join a retirement community and get it on with multiple babes for free.

And the grandson used the farking coupon himself AFTER his grandfather died?

Also, I'm no expert on first aid, but is CPR the correct move for somebody who is choking?


How many dudes were they doing in between each test?  Do the math...   You have aids.
 
2013-12-14 12:36:15 AM
The son felt so bad, he had to bang one of the hooker for his gramps.  Awwwww!

/sand in my eye
//brofist
 
2013-12-14 12:37:31 AM
tell em, Fred...
 
2013-12-14 12:37:37 AM
3b4efb995be6c5c64252-c03f075f8191fb4e60e74b907071aee8.r12.cf1.rackcdn.com

doh!
 
2013-12-14 12:38:44 AM
Hanging around with Howard Stern is never a good idea.
 
Skr
2013-12-14 12:40:39 AM
It's like winning a prostitute, then you die the next day. well isn't ironic. Dontcha think
 
2013-12-14 12:41:39 AM
Howard is not that funny. Since he left the radio I have not listened. Adam Corolla is what you call funny.
 
2013-12-14 12:52:28 AM
The Howard Stern vacation curse strikes again. Seriously major stuff always happens right before he takes long vacations. Oh I remember those days when he used to complain about Johnny Carson always being on vacation. Now he refers to this as a "flexible schedule".
 
2013-12-14 12:53:04 AM
I'm guessing its Ironic because its usually the hooker thats choking on a huge piece of meat?


/Just call me Capt. Obvious
 
2013-12-14 12:56:16 AM
Nothing wrong wrong with enjoying big breasted black women, if that's your cup of tea.  It actually warms my heart a bit, since I suspect most white men his age are too racist to admit they like the chocolate.  At least he died doing what he loved, choking on a giant hunk of thick meat.
 
2013-12-14 01:04:14 AM
The good Lord was like, "Dude, what are you doing? *sigh*...   just... no.... stop. Stop. Just get up here right now. We need to have a word."
 
2013-12-14 01:05:47 AM
Been a stern fan before he went to satellite, Sirius stock made me a pile of cash. Sounds like s fun guy to hang with.No complaints here.
 
2013-12-14 01:05:49 AM

MrHappyRotter: Nothing wrong wrong with enjoying big breasted black women, if that's your cup of tea.  It actually warms my heart a bit, since I suspect most white men his age are too racist to admit they like the chocolate.  At least he died doing what he loved, choking on a giant hunk of thick meat.


Well racists tend to be closet fans of brown sugar, I mean Strom Thurmand had a black lovechild.
 
2013-12-14 01:12:58 AM
They should jumped his boner around the time rigor mortis set in, ala that scene in 'Clerks'!

www.flix66.com
 
2013-12-14 01:13:29 AM

casual disregard: Also, I'm no expert on first aid, but is CPR the correct move for somebody who is choking?


It is once the choking victim goes unconscious.  The article said that CPR was started immediately when he began choking, but I'm guessing the Heimlich maneuver was performed first followed by CPR.
 
2013-12-14 01:14:57 AM
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?


Oh by the way, which one's Pink?
 
2013-12-14 01:15:29 AM

ecl: How many dudes were they doing in between each test? Do the math... You have aids.


As of some years back (I haven't seen more recent data) no prostitutes in the legal brothels were infected--and if they weren't then neither were their clients.  (Some cases were picked up on their INITIAL tests, though--but you don't get to work until you've passed those.)
 
2013-12-14 01:15:53 AM

dark brew: casual disregard: Also, I'm no expert on first aid, but is CPR the correct move for somebody who is choking?

It is once the choking victim goes unconscious.  The article said that CPR was started immediately when he began choking, but I'm guessing the Heimlich maneuver was performed first followed by CPR.


NO! If you cannot remove the obstruction with the heimlich and you perform CPR you will lodge the food deeper in the the throat. CPR likely killed him.
 
2013-12-14 01:21:43 AM
That sucks. Poor guy! And his son, too. He was just trying to give the guy the a good time.
 
ecl
2013-12-14 01:23:43 AM

Loren: ecl: How many dudes were they doing in between each test? Do the math... You have aids.

As of some years back (I haven't seen more recent data) no prostitutes in the legal brothels were infected--and if they weren't then neither were their clients.  (Some cases were picked up on their INITIAL tests, though--but you don't get to work until you've passed those.)


I can't tell.  Are you f*cking serious?
 
2013-12-14 01:25:40 AM

S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.: The good Lord was like, "Dude, what are you doing? *sigh*...   just... no.... stop. Stop. Just get up here right now. We need to have a word."


fark you, I just spat beer all over my monitor after reading that.

/mental image was fantastic though
//I'll remember it for the rest of my days.
 
2013-12-14 01:30:49 AM

casual disregard: Also, I'm no expert on first aid,


img.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-14 01:33:10 AM
ecl:  How many dudes were they doing in between each test?  Do the math...   You have aids.

They get tested and examined weekly so however many they bang in a week.  And, of course, they inspect the junk before doing the deed.  And use condoms while doing the deed(s).

Seems less risky than picking up some untested girl at a bar or frat party.
 
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