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(Daily Star)   Mike Tyson claims people will never get over the fact he "raped some woman" and "bit somebody's ear off a thousand years ago". Yeah, pfft, old news, right, Mike?   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 37
    More: Dumbass, Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield, The Hangover, boxer, beauty queen  
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881 clicks; posted to Sports » on 13 Dec 2013 at 9:24 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-13 09:25:43 PM  
I'm still bitter I can't beat him in Punch Out.
 
2013-12-13 09:29:07 PM  
Well in context of the article it makes perfect sense submitard besides she only cried rape after she was caught and was going to get in trouble.

He shouldn't be banned for something as weak as that bullshiat.
 
2013-12-13 09:33:45 PM  

NeverDrunk23: I'm still bitter I can't beat him in Punch Out.


Anyone who tells you they've beaten Mike Tyson's Punch Out is a f*cking liar.

The opponents get steadily tougher until you reach Iron Mike and he becomes impossible.

I remember reading Nintendo Power and it had a strategy guide for Punch Out, and basically, when you get to Mike Tyson, the strategy is "try not to get your ass kicked and hope for a TKO".
 
2013-12-13 09:35:42 PM  
I met him a number of years ago when he was doing community service for the Juvenile Court I worked at.  He's short, maybe 5'9" at most, same as me.  It was really odd looking The Champ at eye level.
 
2013-12-13 09:38:55 PM  

Rev.K: NeverDrunk23: I'm still bitter I can't beat him in Punch Out.

Anyone who tells you they've beaten Mike Tyson's Punch Out is a f*cking liar.

The opponents get steadily tougher until you reach Iron Mike and he becomes impossible.

I remember reading Nintendo Power and it had a strategy guide for Punch Out, and basically, when you get to Mike Tyson, the strategy is "try not to get your ass kicked and hope for a TKO".


Wow, you suck.
 
2013-12-13 09:44:07 PM  
"raped some woman"
"bit somebody's ear off a thousand years ago"


Way to dismiss/dehumanize them, Mike.
 
2013-12-13 09:49:42 PM  

Rev.K: Anyone who tells you they've beaten Mike Tyson's Punch Out is a f*cking liar.


Sorry to burst your bubble.
 
2013-12-13 10:00:44 PM  
I beat Punch Out at least a hundred times til I got bored. I also didn't have many friends or know the touch of a girl til I was wayyyyyy into high school.

/Mr. Sandman was harder to beat than Iron Mike anyway.
 
2013-12-13 10:21:02 PM  

bring to a festering boil: "raped some woman"
"bit somebody's ear off a thousand years ago"

Way to dismiss/dehumanize them, Mike.


To be fair, I don't think that was his intention with Holyfield.

Holyfield forgave him for the ear incident a long time ago, and the two are apparently very close friends now.
 
2013-12-13 10:25:24 PM  

Who carries the boombox in your entourage?

Me, Mike, goddammit.

Me.

 
2013-12-13 10:28:17 PM  

Mentat: Rev.K: NeverDrunk23: I'm still bitter I can't beat him in Punch Out.

Anyone who tells you they've beaten Mike Tyson's Punch Out is a f*cking liar.

The opponents get steadily tougher until you reach Iron Mike and he becomes impossible.

I remember reading Nintendo Power and it had a strategy guide for Punch Out, and basically, when you get to Mike Tyson, the strategy is "try not to get your ass kicked and hope for a TKO".

Wow, you suck.


That's what I'm saying.

/but no one wants to play me at NHL 94 or Gran Turismo 1-2.
//you will lose
 
2013-12-13 10:44:00 PM  
At the beginning of the 2nd round vs Tyson, when he begins the barrage of jabs, if you block from the get-go, then immediately throw a B body blow, and repeat, you can land good shots, and get stars too, I believe.  I used to get Tyson down to one punch left to knock him down on his energy bar after the 1st round, then get the quick knockdown at the beginning of the 2nd round for an easier TKO.
 
2013-12-13 10:48:12 PM  
MY KIDS GON' BE SCARED OF ME

-CHOMP-
 
2013-12-13 10:49:21 PM  

fatalvenom: Mentat: Rev.K: NeverDrunk23: I'm still bitter I can't beat him in Punch Out.

Anyone who tells you they've beaten Mike Tyson's Punch Out is a f*cking liar.

The opponents get steadily tougher until you reach Iron Mike and he becomes impossible.

I remember reading Nintendo Power and it had a strategy guide for Punch Out, and basically, when you get to Mike Tyson, the strategy is "try not to get your ass kicked and hope for a TKO".

Wow, you suck.

That's what I'm saying.

/but no one wants to play me at NHL 94 or Gran Turismo 1-2.
//you will lose


Blades of Steel
 
2013-12-13 11:04:29 PM  

The Smails Kid: Who carries the boombox in your entourage?Me, Mike, goddammit.Me.


Your still the champion and everybody knows you are. 
Come on Iron Mike, let's take the Porsche to the titty-bar.

Come on champ
 
2013-12-14 12:01:06 AM  

wesmon: The Smails Kid: Who carries the boombox in your entourage?Me, Mike, goddammit.Me.

Your still the champion and everybody knows you are. 
Come on Iron Mike, let's take the Porsche to the titty-bar.

Come on champ


Join the Nintendo Fan Club today!!!
steeshes.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-14 12:40:09 AM  

Rev.K: NeverDrunk23: I'm still bitter I can't beat him in Punch Out.

Anyone who tells you they've beaten Mike Tyson's Punch Out is a f*cking liar.

The opponents get steadily tougher until you reach Iron Mike and he becomes impossible.

I remember reading Nintendo Power and it had a strategy guide for Punch Out, and basically, when you get to Mike Tyson, the strategy is "try not to get your ass kicked and hope for a TKO".


I beat it when I was about....10 years old.  It wasn't that hard to learn the game, every single fighter did the exact same thing over and over again, once you learned the patterns you could go through the game without getting punched.
 
2013-12-14 12:45:15 AM  

Rev.K: NeverDrunk23: I'm still bitter I can't beat him in Punch Out.

Anyone who tells you they've beaten Mike Tyson's Punch Out is a f*cking liar.

The opponents get steadily tougher until you reach Iron Mike and he becomes impossible.

I remember reading Nintendo Power and it had a strategy guide for Punch Out, and basically, when you get to Mike Tyson, the strategy is "try not to get your ass kicked and hope for a TKO".


False. I've beaten him a couple of times. Getting to him is pretty easy once you've played it 300 times. The only really difficult one is Super Macho Man when he goes apeshiat on spin attacks.

Tyson is not that hard to beat once you get past the first 90 seconds when he throws those nasty knockout punches. You can time the star punches.

Now, anyone who has told you they've KO'd Tyson is full of sh*t.
 
2013-12-14 12:49:40 AM  

wesmon: The Smails Kid: Who carries the boombox in your entourage?Me, Mike, goddammit.Me.

Your still the champion and everybody knows you are. 
Come on Iron Mike, let's take the Porsche to the titty-bar.

Come on champ

All I'm asking for is 300 dollars, at least until my brother straightens out
 
2013-12-14 01:09:31 AM  
 
2013-12-14 01:15:18 AM  

Curt Blizzah: bdub77

Oh, really?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5Vk0LFvj2Y


OK so one or two guys on the internet did it, and possibly they did it on a Genie'd system? I'm not saying it's flat out impossible, but that if your friend tells you they KO'd tyson, they are probably full of it. Getting a TKO is hard enough unless you've played Mike a bunch of times.
 
2013-12-14 02:18:04 AM  

bdub77: Curt Blizzah: bdub77

Oh, really?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5Vk0LFvj2Y

OK so one or two guys on the internet did it, and possibly they did it on a Genie'd system? I'm not saying it's flat out impossible, but that if your friend tells you they KO'd tyson, they are probably full of it. Getting a TKO is hard enough unless you've played Mike a bunch of times.


I was the first at my school to do it and taught the other kids.  Too bad in my day you couldn't parlay being awesome at video games into feeling up chicks like you can today.  It's really not that hard.  When he flashes you dodge.  Then watch for the blinks.
 
2013-12-14 02:37:47 AM  
Meh.  Canada will keep you out for a DUI.  Rape and attempted cannibalism - probably not gonna fly.
 
2013-12-14 02:42:49 AM  
He did do his time.
 
2013-12-14 04:13:30 AM  
Cocaine's a hell of a drug.

/puts on some old school Eric Clapton
 
2013-12-14 08:11:06 AM  
Didn't he badly beat one of his wives too?

And yet this guy seems to have some kind of fan following where people actually like him now. I personally don't hate or have any real strong feelings about him, but I sure would avoid him.
 
2013-12-14 10:24:38 AM  
I was lucky to beat Glass Joe.

/sucks at video games
//except Half Life multiplayer on the PC
///crossbow ftw
 
2013-12-14 11:13:49 AM  
If I get past the first 1:30  of the 1st round, I beat Tyson in Punch Out 80% of the time.  I can't beat the 2nd Don Flamenco with that regularity.
 
2013-12-14 12:19:03 PM  
I didn't own Nintendo, so I'd only get to play Punchout at a buddy's house every once in a while, but my knock-down, drag-out brawls with Soda Popinski made Gatti-Ward look like a game of Patty-cake.

/ncsb
 
2013-12-14 12:23:54 PM  

bdub77: OK so one or two guys on the internet did it, and possibly they did it on a Genie'd system? I



˄˄˅˅˂˃˂˃AB START
Ok, that was Contra.

A B B A
Ok, that was Commando

kkjh67aa
Ok, that's the password I use for everything. Luckily Fark filters that.
 
2013-12-14 12:37:11 PM  

gilgigamesh: bring to a festering boil: "raped some woman"
"bit somebody's ear off a thousand years ago"

Way to dismiss/dehumanize them, Mike.

To be fair, I don't think that was his intention with Holyfield.

Holyfield forgave him for the ear incident a long time ago, and the two are apparently very close friends now.


He even gave the ear back to him.
 
2013-12-14 01:29:25 PM  

octopied: Didn't he badly beat one of his wives too?

And yet this guy seems to have some kind of fan following where people actually like him now. I personally don't hate or have any real strong feelings about him, but I sure would avoid him.


I think it was Robin givens and the other stories that came out along with other husbands that hit her I am wondering if she doesn't have a masochistic streak.
 
2013-12-14 02:23:01 PM  
I would like to see the context of that quote. Because I thought he still denied raping her. I was and am still sympathetic. It seemed like a set up.
 
2013-12-14 02:41:40 PM  

Mugato: bdub77: OK so one or two guys on the internet did it, and possibly they did it on a Genie'd system? I


˄˄˅˅˂˃˂˃AB START
Ok, that was Contra.

A B B A
Ok, that was Commando

kkjh67aa
Ok, that's the password I use for everything. Luckily Fark filters that.


I thought A B B A was Ikari Warriors.
 
2013-12-14 03:14:35 PM  

bdub77: I thought A B B A was Ikari Warriors.


Yeah, I think you're right. Commando was more complicated. It involved the right controller and shiat.
 
2013-12-14 04:43:42 PM  
Mike Tyson, to this day, vehemently denies that he raped that woman - he's even stated that she had falsely accused at least one other man of rape not too long before to the Tyson incident. He's also said he got away with a lot of stuff that would've otherwise sent him to prison.

Take that however you will.
 
2013-12-14 08:32:10 PM  
The Gordie Howe Hat Trick:

/Mr. Sandman was harder to beat than Iron Mike anyway.

I've beaten Sandman many times but not once in 20+ years have beaten Tyson.  That first 90 seconds of round 1 is video game hell.
 
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