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(Fark) HOTY Fark's 2013 Headline of the Year contest, Round 3: June through August   (fark.com) divider line 31
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3354 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Dec 2013 at 12:39 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-12-13 10:50:05 AM  
Hello and welcome to the third greenlit voting thread for Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2013 (the previous two quarterfinals will be linked after the entries for this contest). We've collected the best headlines from each month and let the Totalfarkers vote on their favorites. These are the 10 top-voted headlines from June through August.

Now it's up to you: vote on your favorites, and the top five from this contest will make it to the final round next week. There will also be a contest for each of the biggest subtabs later: sports, showbiz, geek, politics and business. The week after that we will have the voting threads for pun/wordplay headlines and the context headline of the year.

There are also some that you might not see here because either: 1) they've been moved to a separate contest, such as a context headline or one that's on a subtab, or 2) they didn't make it out of the voting threads in Totalfark.

Please don't enable voting; the finalists for this period are set. Nothing wrong with sharing a favorite headline from this period, as long as you don't enable voting for it. Enjoy
2013-12-13 10:51:06 AM  
Girl born without brain turns six. Hopes to run for Congress someday

2013-12-13 10:51:24 AM  
Pope Francis halts motorcade to kiss babies. Dude, you already got the job

2013-12-13 10:51:41 AM  
Earth Wind and Fire concert canceled due to water

2013-12-13 10:51:58 AM  
In Limerick the morn began flawless, When two women a-sudden turned lawless, They fought on the ground, With kids all around, Till both of these Erins went bragh-less

2013-12-13 10:52:14 AM  
Sure, the Finns put babies in boxes and get praised for having one of the world's lowest infant mortality rates. I put a baby in a box and suddenly I'm "grossly misusing the US postal system"

2013-12-13 10:52:30 AM  
"Dogs trained to help sniff out ovarian cancer." OBGYN visits now even more awkward

2013-12-13 10:52:46 AM  
Steam detected at Fukushima nuclear plant. Valve suspected

2013-12-13 10:53:03 AM  
The case for getting drunk at work. Might take more than a case, but I'm listening

2013-12-13 10:53:20 AM  
Bomb explodes in Manama. Doo doo do doo doo

2013-12-13 10:53:35 AM  
Shootout near golf course leaves hole in one

2013-12-13 10:55:00 AM  
Afghanistan suicide bomber hides explosive device in his rectum. Which it did

2013-12-13 10:55:14 AM  
Woman beats off sex attacker with umbrella. That must have taken a while

2013-12-13 10:55:31 AM  
Woman delivers 13 lb, 4 oz baby girl in natural childbirth. The mother hopes to decide on a name soon, but she's still torn

2013-12-13 10:55:46 AM  
Squeezing breasts can reverse cancer growth, according to recent studies by scientists who are totally not kidding and completely willing to show you how if you want a demonstration

2013-12-13 10:56:01 AM  
Fiat made of 12 naked women. Most high maintenance car ever

2013-12-13 10:56:15 AM  
NTSB issues official apology for offensive pilot names released to TV news station, according to spokesman Heywood Jablowme

2013-12-13 10:56:30 AM  
Following Asiana fake name debacle, KTVU fires long-time producers Wi Fuk Tup, Took Mai Chob, and Wai Mi

2013-12-13 10:56:46 AM  
Woman stops a sexual attack on her neighbor by throwing a sledgehammer at the suspect. By great Odin's throne, I say thee NAY

2013-12-13 11:00:24 AM  
Americans pull out of Lahore due to unsafe sects

2013-12-13 11:00:43 AM  
Deadly piglet virus in North Carolina spreads through pooh

2013-12-13 11:01:02 AM  
"I'm a different person now," promises habitual identity thief

2013-12-13 11:01:20 AM  
Cumming man killed in motorcycle crash. Investigators suspect he may have been distracted

2013-12-13 11:01:36 AM  
*Knock knock* Who's there? George Zimmerman. George Zimmerman who? Congrats, you're on the jury

2013-12-13 11:01:51 AM  
NJ Nazi leader wears full regalia to child custody hearing. "I only want a chance to raise MEIN HEIR"

2013-12-13 11:03:22 AM  
Cap'n Crunch never rose past the rank of Commander. Still sounds better than Seaman Crunch

2013-12-13 11:03:36 AM  
Academics warn that if Scotland becomes independent, it will risk being invaded by Russia. Sean Connery to play at least five roles in the resulting movie

2013-12-13 11:03:51 AM  
Judge rules baby must change name from Messiah to Martin because it "could put him at odds with a lot of people" in an area with a large Christian population. Because nobody named Martin ever got in a big feud with Christianity

2013-12-13 11:04:05 AM  
Do you find it suspicious that a millionaire's wife drowns after falling overboard in the middle of the night while yachting in the Hamptons? Natalie would

2013-12-13 11:04:28 AM  
Inmate dies in prison after decades-long fight. WHERE THE HELL WERE THE GUARDS?

2013-12-13 11:04:44 AM  
Christian school releases pamphlet with 101 things students can do instead of having sex, such as blowing bubbles. Bubbles said to be thrilled

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