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(Bleacher Report)   Danica Patrick Dresses Up as a Showgirl for the it doesn't really matter   (bleacherreport.com) divider line 69
    More: Hero, American Country Awards, Danica Patrick, showgirls, NASCAR, Trace Adkins  
•       •       •

13011 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Dec 2013 at 5:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-12-12 02:47:49 PM  
Cue the complaints about her "Boyish figure" by people who most like should prefer such a build on a
sexual partner......

I think she's dreamy and quite sexiful.
 
2013-12-12 02:55:51 PM  
I'm ok with this.
 
wee
2013-12-12 02:58:37 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: I think she's dreamy and quite sexiful.


She's indeed attractive.  I've met her twice.  The most descriptive word I can think of about her (aside from "short" -- she's incredibly small) is "plain".  There's nothing bombshell about her, she looks like a regular, 30-ish woman you'd see out shopping or whatever.  Seriously, aside from her height, it'd be really hard to notice her in a crowd.

FWIW, maybe it was the tight jeans, but I thought she had a perfectly fine figure.
 
2013-12-12 03:13:08 PM  
no photo for me.
 
2013-12-12 03:17:35 PM  
Based on that snippet of what she wore and what someone wrote for her to say, I'm embarrassed for her.  How demeaning.
 
2013-12-12 03:22:15 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: by people who most like should prefer such a build


farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2013-12-12 04:15:35 PM  

Dr.Fey: DjangoStonereaver: by people who most like should prefer such a build

[farm3.static.flickr.com image 850x684]


Believe it or not, English is my first language.  I even have a degree in it.

/Granted, its from Rutgers.....
 
2013-12-12 04:17:13 PM  
And promptly hit the wall while walking to the stage
 
2013-12-12 05:06:16 PM  

wee: She's indeed attractive.  I've met her twice.  The most descriptive word I can think of about her (aside from "short" -- she's incredibly small) is "plain".


When less mass = more speed, size matters.
 
2013-12-12 05:22:30 PM  
I'd give some fuel a hot beef injection...
 
2013-12-12 05:23:18 PM  
Meh
 
2013-12-12 05:26:47 PM  
My opinion on 99% of Ms. Patrick's activity, including this:
i148.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-12 05:28:29 PM  
I'd crash into it.
 
2013-12-12 05:29:25 PM  
Id give her the most disappointing 30 seconds of her life if she wanted it.
 
2013-12-12 05:31:19 PM  

sentex: wee: She's indeed attractive.  I've met her twice.  The most descriptive word I can think of about her (aside from "short" -- she's incredibly small) is "plain".

When less mass = more speed, size matters.


You'd think she'd actually win some races. She's the Anna Kournikova of NASCAR.
 
2013-12-12 05:32:11 PM  
Danica Patrick's pretty much a model who also races NASCAR once in a while these days, isn't she?
 
2013-12-12 05:32:19 PM  
Plain Jane face with no curves. I will pass.
 
2013-12-12 05:32:38 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: Cue the complaints about her "Boyish figure" by people who most like should prefer such a build on a
sexual partner......

I think she's dreamy and quite sexiful.


Force Daughters FTW!
 
2013-12-12 05:33:29 PM  
For a second, I thought it was Danica Mckellar:

www.fumed.com

Not that I'm disappointed...
 
2013-12-12 05:34:19 PM  
I'd give her the pole position.
 
2013-12-12 05:34:33 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: DjangoStonereaver: Cue the complaints about her "Boyish figure" by people who most like should prefer such a build on a
sexual partner......

I think she's dreamy and quite sexiful.

Force Daughters FTW!


Yes. But if you don't care about the actual "win" there's the Cope twins.
 
2013-12-12 05:35:09 PM  

DarkPascual: For a second, I thought it was Danica Mckellar:

[www.fumed.com image 480x600]

Not that I'm disappointed...


That was my initial thought too.
 
2013-12-12 05:35:19 PM  

sentex: wee: She's indeed attractive.  I've met her twice.  The most descriptive word I can think of about her (aside from "short" -- she's incredibly small) is "plain".

When less mass = more speed, size matters.


Indeed.  Many F1 drivers are only ~150 lbs (Seb is a chunky 128) but are substantially taller than Danica; averaging around 5'9".  Makes me wonder if Danica could (in theory) do better in F1 since her smaller physical frame would allow the car designers more room to work with.  I've heard quite frequently designers quoted as working around the physical size of the driver as being one of the hardest things to deal with.

Her shorter frame would allow for a car that isn't as tall*; which in turn would offer less wind resistance; be less subject to dirty air (because you know she'd never be in the lead); the car would in turn also be lighter; though there are minimum weight requirements by the FIA regs; the team would have a choice in WHERE the weight went.

Of course; this IS Danica we're talking about; so she'd go out for 3 laps; and then get a crane back to the pits because her car was "broke"; when in reality she'd just turned the motor off; assuming she could avoid any walls; AND figure out what a "right turn" is.

*This also assumes that any F1 team would invest any money into making a car for her specifically; instead of running down to Wal*Mart and just buying a child's booster seat
 
2013-12-12 05:37:15 PM  
No, it really doesn't matter. Not interested.
 
2013-12-12 05:37:53 PM  

fusillade762: sentex: wee: She's indeed attractive.  I've met her twice.  The most descriptive word I can think of about her (aside from "short" -- she's incredibly small) is "plain".

When less mass = more speed, size matters.

You'd think she'd actually win some races. She's the Anna Kournikova of NASCAR.


Probably mattered more with Indy cars.
 
2013-12-12 05:40:23 PM  
Look, a women who can drive in circles! That makes her super-awesome.
 
2013-12-12 05:42:39 PM  

DarkPascual: For a second, I thought it was Danica Mckellar:



Not that I'm disappointed...


Yeah, she's the one I'll click to see.
 
2013-12-12 05:42:52 PM  
Danica Patrick in the Entertainment tab. Finally a Subby got it right.

Now if we could do something about wrestling...
 
2013-12-12 05:45:15 PM  

Shan: sentex: wee: She's indeed attractive.  I've met her twice.  The most descriptive word I can think of about her (aside from "short" -- she's incredibly small) is "plain".

When less mass = more speed, size matters.

Indeed.  Many F1 drivers are only ~150 lbs (Seb is a chunky 128) but are substantially taller than Danica; averaging around 5'9".  Makes me wonder if Danica could (in theory) do better in F1 since her smaller physical frame would allow the car designers more room to work with.  I've heard quite frequently designers quoted as working around the physical size of the driver as being one of the hardest things to deal with.

Her shorter frame would allow for a car that isn't as tall*; which in turn would offer less wind resistance; be less subject to dirty air (because you know she'd never be in the lead); the car would in turn also be lighter; though there are minimum weight requirements by the FIA regs; the team would have a choice in WHERE the weight went.

Of course; this IS Danica we're talking about; so she'd go out for 3 laps; and then get a crane back to the pits because her car was "broke"; when in reality she'd just turned the motor off; assuming she could avoid any walls; AND figure out what a "right turn" is.

*This also assumes that any F1 team would invest any money into making a car for her specifically; instead of running down to Wal*Mart and just buying a child's booster seat


No way and no reason for her to ever get an F1 ride. Bernie and the FIA don't give a damn about a driver who is little more than a marketing gimmick, NASCAR, or American audiences. Notice that they booked the COTA race the same day as NASCARs Texas race next year.

If there's any woman that deserves a shot in F1 it's Simona Di Silvestro.
 
2013-12-12 05:58:27 PM  

crotchgrabber: Shan: sentex: wee: She's indeed attractive.  I've met her twice.  The most descriptive word I can think of about her (aside from "short" -- she's incredibly small) is "plain".

When less mass = more speed, size matters.

Indeed.  Many F1 drivers are only ~150 lbs (Seb is a chunky 128) but are substantially taller than Danica; averaging around 5'9".  Makes me wonder if Danica could (in theory) do better in F1 since her smaller physical frame would allow the car designers more room to work with.  I've heard quite frequently designers quoted as working around the physical size of the driver as being one of the hardest things to deal with.

Her shorter frame would allow for a car that isn't as tall*; which in turn would offer less wind resistance; be less subject to dirty air (because you know she'd never be in the lead); the car would in turn also be lighter; though there are minimum weight requirements by the FIA regs; the team would have a choice in WHERE the weight went.

Of course; this IS Danica we're talking about; so she'd go out for 3 laps; and then get a crane back to the pits because her car was "broke"; when in reality she'd just turned the motor off; assuming she could avoid any walls; AND figure out what a "right turn" is.

*This also assumes that any F1 team would invest any money into making a car for her specifically; instead of running down to Wal*Mart and just buying a child's booster seat

No way and no reason for her to ever get an F1 ride. Bernie and the FIA don't give a damn about a driver who is little more than a marketing gimmick, NASCAR, or American audiences. Notice that they booked the COTA race the same day as NASCARs Texas race next year.

If there's any woman that deserves a shot in F1 it's Simona Di Silvestro.


Oh I absolutely agree that Danica isn't a worthy candidate, just thought it was an interesting consideration.

Is Simona the lass that was shown a few times over the weekend of the Brazil race this year? I might have misheard the commentators but I think she got 3rd seat for one of the mid-level teams like Lotus or Sahara.
 
2013-12-12 06:04:04 PM  

Shan: crotchgrabber: Shan: sentex: wee: She's indeed attractive.  I've met her twice.  The most descriptive word I can think of about her (aside from "short" -- she's incredibly small) is "plain".

When less mass = more speed, size matters.

Indeed.  Many F1 drivers are only ~150 lbs (Seb is a chunky 128) but are substantially taller than Danica; averaging around 5'9".  Makes me wonder if Danica could (in theory) do better in F1 since her smaller physical frame would allow the car designers more room to work with.  I've heard quite frequently designers quoted as working around the physical size of the driver as being one of the hardest things to deal with.

Her shorter frame would allow for a car that isn't as tall*; which in turn would offer less wind resistance; be less subject to dirty air (because you know she'd never be in the lead); the car would in turn also be lighter; though there are minimum weight requirements by the FIA regs; the team would have a choice in WHERE the weight went.

Of course; this IS Danica we're talking about; so she'd go out for 3 laps; and then get a crane back to the pits because her car was "broke"; when in reality she'd just turned the motor off; assuming she could avoid any walls; AND figure out what a "right turn" is.

*This also assumes that any F1 team would invest any money into making a car for her specifically; instead of running down to Wal*Mart and just buying a child's booster seat

No way and no reason for her to ever get an F1 ride. Bernie and the FIA don't give a damn about a driver who is little more than a marketing gimmick, NASCAR, or American audiences. Notice that they booked the COTA race the same day as NASCARs Texas race next year.

If there's any woman that deserves a shot in F1 it's Simona Di Silvestro.

Oh I absolutely agree that Danica isn't a worthy candidate, just thought it was an interesting consideration.

Is Simona the lass that was shown a few times over the weekend of the Brazil race this year? I might ha ...


She's in Indycar. There were some rumors floated when she made an appearance at COTA that she was joining F1 but it was all bullshiat. It's not impossible for her to go to F1 next year as she's a free agent right now but I imagine she'll get another mid-level Indy ride.
 
2013-12-12 06:06:05 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: Cue the complaints about her "Boyish figure" by people who most like should prefer such a build on a
sexual partner......

I think she's dreamy and quite sexiful.


Your syntax here is practically doge. Quite Sexful! Such Dreamy!
 
2013-12-12 06:14:49 PM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: My opinion on 99% of Ms. Patrick's activity, including this:
[i148.photobucket.com image 264x345]


I still wouldn't kick her out of bed
 
2013-12-12 06:18:45 PM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: My opinion on 99% of Ms. Patrick's activity, including this:
[i148.photobucket.com image 264x345]


That's how she's marketed, but she never seems fully comfortable with it to me. She seems as though she'd probably rather be allowed to just race and do stale redneck jokes like the other 99% of the drivers she's worked with over the years.
 
2013-12-12 06:24:10 PM  

crotchgrabber: She's in Indycar. There were some rumors floated when she made an appearance at COTA that she was joining F1 but it was all bullshiat. It's not impossible for her to go to F1 next year as she's a free agent right now but I imagine she'll get another mid-level Indy ride.


I tried getting into Indycar when Reubens retired from F1 and went there but I could never get into it.  I was hoping it was going to be an Americanized version of F1 but in reality its NASCAR in open-wheel cars instead of stock cars.  My wife made a comment a few weeks back that there were rumors of Reubens returning to F1 since Indy never seemed to pan out for him (the half dozen races I watched I don't recall seeing him finish >15th).  As much as I think he's an awesome guy; I think his time has come and went for being a stand-out in F1.

Then again; he DID not only beat the Stig's time on Top Gear; but wonder-boy Vettel "only" posted a time 0.3 seconds faster.

(Looking back at his results list; I guess he did better in IndyCar than I'd thought; but I guess I had high expectations for him.  I would have figured the demanding circuits of F1 would have made IC an easy retirement for him)
 
2013-12-12 06:39:41 PM  
The ACAs were terrible this year and she helped them be terrible. I think they picked her to host just so she could stand next to Trace Adkins, who is 6' 6" even before he puts on his boots because hey she's tiny and he's huge. Hee haw!
 
2013-12-12 07:01:57 PM  

Shan: crotchgrabber: She's in Indycar. There were some rumors floated when she made an appearance at COTA that she was joining F1 but it was all bullshiat. It's not impossible for her to go to F1 next year as she's a free agent right now but I imagine she'll get another mid-level Indy ride.

I tried getting into Indycar when Reubens retired from F1 and went there but I could never get into it.  I was hoping it was going to be an Americanized version of F1 but in reality its NASCAR in open-wheel cars instead of stock cars.  My wife made a comment a few weeks back that there were rumors of Reubens returning to F1 since Indy never seemed to pan out for him (the half dozen races I watched I don't recall seeing him finish >15th).  As much as I think he's an awesome guy; I think his time has come and went for being a stand-out in F1.

Then again; he DID not only beat the Stig's time on Top Gear; but wonder-boy Vettel "only" posted a time 0.3 seconds faster.

(Looking back at his results list; I guess he did better in IndyCar than I'd thought; but I guess I had high expectations for him.  I would have figured the demanding circuits of F1 would have made IC an easy retirement for him)


Indycar is a different beast than F1. I think it's the best racing out there. Good mix of short/long ovals along with road and street courses. The Indy 500 last year had something like 73 passes for the lead. This past season had a bunch of first time winners and the most competitive field out there.

Try to give it another shot next year. It's a short season so it won't take up much of your time. And things could get real interesting the following year as there are plans to expand the schedule quite a bit (personally hoping they come to Laguna Seca, but I'm greedy like that) and they'll be getting new aero kits.

I should stop thread jacking now. If I wasn't at work I'd post bikini pics of hot racing girls or something to get back on topic.
 
2013-12-12 07:02:14 PM  

Anonymous Bosch: DjangoStonereaver: Cue the complaints about her "Boyish figure" by people who most like should prefer such a build on a
sexual partner......

I think she's dreamy and quite sexiful.

Your syntax here is practically doge. Quite Sexful! Such Dreamy!


Sexful is a perfectly cromulent word.
 
2013-12-12 07:12:38 PM  

wee: DjangoStonereaver: I think she's dreamy and quite sexiful.

She's indeed attractive.  I've met her twice.  The most descriptive word I can think of about her (aside from "short" -- she's incredibly small) is "plain".  There's nothing bombshell about her, she looks like a regular, 30-ish woman you'd see out shopping or whatever.  Seriously, aside from her height, it'd be really hard to notice her in a crowd.

FWIW, maybe it was the tight jeans, but I thought she had a perfectly fine figure.


Yes, "plain" does pretty much sum up her looks.  South Park just did an episode on how Photoshop can turn a hobbit into a hottie.

www.sharkspage.com
 
2013-12-12 07:13:21 PM  

wee: She's indeed attractive. I've met her twice. The most descriptive word I can think of about her (aside from "short" -- she's incredibly small) is "plain". There's nothing bombshell about her, she looks like a regular, 30-ish woman you'd see out shopping or whatever. Seriously, aside from her height, it'd be really hard to notice her in a crowd.


This. We get it - she's a girl next door type, and she is attractive enough. But really, this whole "OMG OMG Danica patrick" thing sounds like a virgin 14 year old schoolboy gushing.
 
2013-12-12 07:20:55 PM  

Somaticasual: But really, this whole "OMG OMG Danica patrick" thing sounds like a virgin 14 year old schoolboy gushing.


98% of Fark is virgin schoolboys, so that makes sense.
 
2013-12-12 07:40:36 PM  

Anonymous Bosch: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: My opinion on 99% of Ms. Patrick's activity, including this:
[i148.photobucket.com image 264x345]

That's how she's marketed, but she never seems fully comfortable with it to me. She seems as though she'd probably rather be allowed to just race and do stale redneck jokes like the other 99% of the drivers she's worked with over the years.


And the GoDaddy ads?

Polish Hussar: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: My opinion on 99% of Ms. Patrick's activity, including this:
[i148.photobucket.com image 264x345]

I still wouldn't kick her out of bed


Nor would I.
 
2013-12-12 08:27:05 PM  
*This also assumes that any F1 team would invest any money into making a car for her specifically; instead of running down to Wal*Mart and just buying a child's booster seat

Ecklestone doesn't believe women should drive. It'll never happen, even if she could win every race.
 
2013-12-12 08:41:37 PM  

wee: DjangoStonereaver: I think she's dreamy and quite sexiful.

She's indeed attractive.  I've met her twice.  The most descriptive word I can think of about her (aside from "short" -- she's incredibly small) is "plain".  There's nothing bombshell about her, she looks like a regular, 30-ish woman you'd see out shopping or whatever.  Seriously, aside from her height, it'd be really hard to notice her in a crowd.

FWIW, maybe it was the tight jeans, but I thought she had a perfectly fine figure.


I am not a religious man, but i wish a thousand blessings on the inventor of tight jeans.
 
2013-12-12 09:04:13 PM  

PumpkinCake: *This also assumes that any F1 team would invest any money into making a car for her specifically; instead of running down to Wal*Mart and just buying a child's booster seat

Ecklestone doesn't believe women should drive. It'll never happen, even if she could win every race.


While I'll admit that ole B&E has his faults; I don't think a lack of women in F1 is (directly) his doing.  A quick search shows only 5 women have  ever been F1  race drivers.  I grabbed the "complete" list of F1 drivers from here; and tossed it into a spreasheet giving me 831 drivers who had at least started a single race (that is to say; the green flag dropped on race day with them at the wheel and engine running).  Mathematically that gives 0.601% of all F1 drivers have been female.  Using this gives me 2873 comparable NASCAR drivers.  According to this wiki page (which admits it's possibly incomplete); removing duplicates; I get 44 Female NASCAR drivers.  The math works out to 1.531% female.

While that makes it seem as though NASCAR has the edge; the fact that there have been 3 times as many NASCAR drivers as there are F1 drivers means that your odds seem to be better with NASCAR  in general.  That is to say; if Company A hires 10 people in a given year; and Company B hires 100; all other things being equal; your odds are better applying with Company B.  Also; even as late as the 70's and early 80's F1 was very much a "Rich  mans"hobby.  While that has changed today, getting into F1 period is very difficult.  There are very strict guidelines in terms of what junior racing league you come from (only a few types of racing are considered "feeder" classes); whereas with NASCAR; you could start at your local racetrack and get picked up for NASCAR (relatively) quickly.  Well; let me rephrase that because I honestly don't know NASCAR in depth to say;  the perception is,NASCAR is "easy" to get into; and thus people are more likely to try.

Of course, you could also argue that since all NASCAR races are on circles or ovals; women can't get lost on them.
 
2013-12-12 09:21:05 PM  

Shan: Of course, you could also argue that since all NASCAR races are on circles or ovals; women can't get lost on them.


racingnews360.com
Watkins Glen.

cloudinary-a.akamaihd.net

Sonoma Sears Point
 
TSD [TotalFark]
2013-12-12 09:45:53 PM  

crotchgrabber: Shan: crotchgrabber: She's in Indycar. There were some rumors floated when she made an appearance at COTA that she was joining F1 but it was all bullshiat. It's not impossible for her to go to F1 next year as she's a free agent right now but I imagine she'll get another mid-level Indy ride.

I tried getting into Indycar when Reubens retired from F1 and went there but I could never get into it.  I was hoping it was going to be an Americanized version of F1 but in reality its NASCAR in open-wheel cars instead of stock cars.  My wife made a comment a few weeks back that there were rumors of Reubens returning to F1 since Indy never seemed to pan out for him (the half dozen races I watched I don't recall seeing him finish >15th).  As much as I think he's an awesome guy; I think his time has come and went for being a stand-out in F1.

Then again; he DID not only beat the Stig's time on Top Gear; but wonder-boy Vettel "only" posted a time 0.3 seconds faster.

(Looking back at his results list; I guess he did better in IndyCar than I'd thought; but I guess I had high expectations for him.  I would have figured the demanding circuits of F1 would have made IC an easy retirement for him)

Indycar is a different beast than F1. I think it's the best racing out there. Good mix of short/long ovals along with road and street courses. The Indy 500 last year had something like 73 passes for the lead. This past season had a bunch of first time winners and the most competitive field out there.

Try to give it another shot next year. It's a short season so it won't take up much of your time. And things could get real interesting the following year as there are plans to expand the schedule quite a bit (personally hoping they come to Laguna Seca, but I'm greedy like that) and they'll be getting new aero kits.

I should stop thread jacking now. If I wasn't at work I'd post bikini pics of hot racing girls or something to get back on topic.


I hadn't been to an IndyCar race since the 90s up at Nazareth, but I took my nephew to Pocono for the inaugural race. I was flat blown away. And pit passes....this was way better than the years of NASCAR I did up there.
 
2013-12-12 09:46:18 PM  
I don't know much about racing, but let's be honest: if you go to a NASCAR event, you'll see a disproportionate number of Monte Carlos in the parking lot.

That is all.
 
2013-12-12 10:05:45 PM  

cheer: I don't know much about racing, but let's be honest: if you go to a NASCAR event, you'll see a disproportionate number of Monte Carlos in the parking lot.

That is all.


Didn't think NASCAR folks were that into random sampling . . .
 
2013-12-12 10:13:45 PM  

TSD: crotchgrabber: Shan: crotchgrabber: She's in Indycar. There were some rumors floated when she made an appearance at COTA that she was joining F1 but it was all bullshiat. It's not impossible for her to go to F1 next year as she's a free agent right now but I imagine she'll get another mid-level Indy ride.

I tried getting into Indycar when Reubens retired from F1 and went there but I could never get into it.  I was hoping it was going to be an Americanized version of F1 but in reality its NASCAR in open-wheel cars instead of stock cars.  My wife made a comment a few weeks back that there were rumors of Reubens returning to F1 since Indy never seemed to pan out for him (the half dozen races I watched I don't recall seeing him finish >15th).  As much as I think he's an awesome guy; I think his time has come and went for being a stand-out in F1.

Then again; he DID not only beat the Stig's time on Top Gear; but wonder-boy Vettel "only" posted a time 0.3 seconds faster.

(Looking back at his results list; I guess he did better in IndyCar than I'd thought; but I guess I had high expectations for him.  I would have figured the demanding circuits of F1 would have made IC an easy retirement for him)

Indycar is a different beast than F1. I think it's the best racing out there. Good mix of short/long ovals along with road and street courses. The Indy 500 last year had something like 73 passes for the lead. This past season had a bunch of first time winners and the most competitive field out there.

Try to give it another shot next year. It's a short season so it won't take up much of your time. And things could get real interesting the following year as there are plans to expand the schedule quite a bit (personally hoping they come to Laguna Seca, but I'm greedy like that) and they'll be getting new aero kits.

I should stop thread jacking now. If I wasn't at work I'd post bikini pics of hot racing girls or something to get back on topic.

I hadn't been to an IndyCar race ...


You're a gentleman and a scholar. Thank you very much for the TF. And that Pocono race was awesome. Let me know if you're ever on the West coast and I'll hook you up with tickets to a Laguna Seca race.
 
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