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(Business Insider)   Good news everyone. Heavy drinkers outlive nondrinkers   (businessinsider.com) divider line 56
    More: Cool, alcoholisms, socioeconomic status  
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6214 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Dec 2013 at 5:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



56 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-12 01:35:14 PM  
Cruel article. First they get you all excited:

Of the 1,824 study participants, only 41 percent of the moderate drinkers died prematurely compared to a whopping 69 percent of the nondrinkers.

Then they start bring you back down:

Despite the increased risks for cirrhosis and several types of cancer, not to mention dependency, accidents, and poor judgment associated with heavy drinking, those who imbibe are less likely to die than people who stay dry.

Then they crush you by making you realize doesn't apply to Farkers at all:

A possible explanation for this is that alcohol can be a great social lubricant, and strong social networks are essential for maintaining mental and physical health.
 
2013-12-12 02:20:05 PM  
According to the CDC, approximately 31% of all traffic fatalities are due to alcohol-impaired driving.  That means 69% of all traffic fatalities are caused by sober people.
 
2013-12-12 03:04:20 PM  
A possible explanation for this is that alcohol can be a great social lubricant

Never tried that, but beer makes a good deodorant in a pinch.
 
2013-12-12 04:20:39 PM  
I don't drink.  This may be cause for celebration.  Who wants to be around a bunch of old, drunk people.
 
2013-12-12 04:45:48 PM  
i'll drink to that. oh, sure...i'll have another, thanks
 
2013-12-12 04:46:34 PM  
Pretty much every medical study shows that moderate drinking - 1 drink per day for women, 1-2 drinks per day for men - is far healthier than either heavy drinking or teetotalling.
 
2013-12-12 04:55:30 PM  
That's 'cause we run over them while we are leaving the bar.

But that's what they get for going to church so early.
 
2013-12-12 05:28:26 PM  

FloydA: According to the CDC, approximately 31% of all traffic fatalities are due to alcohol-impaired driving.  That means 69% of all traffic fatalities are caused by sober people.


Nice....
 
2013-12-12 05:46:37 PM  

MrBallou: Cruel article. First they get you all excited:

Of the 1,824 study participants, only 41 percent of the moderate drinkers died prematurely compared to a whopping 69 percent of the nondrinkers.

Then they start bring you back down:

Despite the increased risks for cirrhosis and several types of cancer, not to mention dependency, accidents, and poor judgment associated with heavy drinking, those who imbibe are less likely to die than people who stay dry.

Then they crush you by making you realize doesn't apply to Farkers at all:

A possible explanation for this is that alcohol can be a great social lubricant, and strong social networks are essential for maintaining mental and physical health.


You mean sucking down vodka while Farking and playing video games doesn't count? DAMMIT!
 
2013-12-12 05:47:01 PM  

syrynxx: Pretty much every medical study shows that moderate drinking - 1 drink per day for women, 1-2 drinks per day for men - is far healthier than either heavy drinking or teetotalling.


Just 1 drink... guess we shall use the larger glasses.
 
2013-12-12 05:47:52 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: I don't drink.  This may be cause for celebration.  Who wants to be around a bunch of old, drunk people.


Yeah. It would be like hanging out with my parents.
 
2013-12-12 05:49:52 PM  

FloydA: According to the CDC, approximately 31% of all traffic fatalities are due to alcohol-impaired driving.  That means 69% of all traffic fatalities are caused by sober people.


I like the way you think.
 
2013-12-12 05:52:59 PM  

MrBallou: A possible explanation for this is that alcohol can be a great social lubricant, and strong social networks are essential for maintaining mental and physical health.


I've heard that before and it seems plausible.  It might also be that drinkers are less likely to be uptight twunts whose puritanical irritation with the rest of humanity stresses them to an early grave.
 
2013-12-12 06:02:00 PM  

MrBallou: Cruel article. First they get you all excited:

Of the 1,824 study participants, only 41 percent of the moderate drinkers died prematurely compared to a whopping 69 percent of the nondrinkers.

Then they start bring you back down:

Despite the increased risks for cirrhosis and several types of cancer, not to mention dependency, accidents, and poor judgment associated with heavy drinking, those who imbibe are less likely to die than people who stay dry.

Then they crush you by making you realize doesn't apply to Farkers at all:

A possible explanation for this is that alcohol can be a great social lubricant, and strong social networks are essential for maintaining mental and physical health.


I drink in order to make other people interesting, then I drink alone when I realize it doesn't work.
 
2013-12-12 06:05:22 PM  

syrynxx: Pretty much every medical study shows that moderate drinking - 1 drink per day for women, 1-2 drinks per day for men - is far healthier than either heavy drinking or teetotalling.


So drink moderately in heavy doses?
Or is it drink heavily in moderation?
 
2013-12-12 06:05:44 PM  
Damn. I was going to go with a 'Good News Everyone' headline when I submitted this earlier.
 
2013-12-12 06:10:02 PM  
don't encourage me.
 
2013-12-12 06:11:15 PM  

syrynxx: Pretty much every medical study shows that moderate drinking - 1 drink per day for women, 1-2 drinks per day for men - is far healthier than either heavy drinking or teetotalling.


I can't imagine drinking 1-2 drinks every day. The buzzed feeling is pleasant, sure, but it also means I'm useless for doing anything, well, useful for several hours. And since I work evenings, the only practical way to drink would be during the day, and I really can't afford to waste a few hours each afternoon sitting around being buzzed. So I only really drink on the weekends, and, evern then, not all that often.
 
2013-12-12 06:12:04 PM  

syrynxx: Pretty much every medical study shows that moderate drinking - 1 drink per day for women, 1-2 drinks per day for men - is far healthier than either heavy drinking or teetotalling.


So does this one. The news is that heavy drinkers are healthier than non-drinkers. Moderate drinkers are healthier than both but, as you said, that's well known.
 
2013-12-12 06:12:47 PM  
"Many doctors counsel against heavy drinking, but I notice there are more old drunks than there are old doctors."

----------------- BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
 
2013-12-12 06:13:39 PM  
Like any of us are going to survive this thing . . .
 
2013-12-12 06:13:57 PM  

TastyEloi: syrynxx: Pretty much every medical study shows that moderate drinking - 1 drink per day for women, 1-2 drinks per day for men - is far healthier than either heavy drinking or teetotalling.

I can't imagine drinking 1-2 drinks every day. The buzzed feeling is pleasant, sure, but it also means I'm useless for doing anything, well, useful for several hours. And since I work evenings, the only practical way to drink would be during the day, and I really can't afford to waste a few hours each afternoon sitting around being buzzed. So I only really drink on the weekends, and, evern then, not all that often.


2 beers gets you buzzed? And that's a serious question, not intended to be snarky. If you spread those drinks out at all and don't chug them, there's a good chance you barely rate a BAC at all.
 
2013-12-12 06:17:42 PM  

FloydA: According to the CDC, approximately 31% of all traffic fatalities are due to alcohol-impaired driving.  That means 69% of all traffic fatalities are caused by sober people.


Sober people are a menace. We need to get those numbers down
 
2013-12-12 06:19:06 PM  

JasonOfOrillia: MrBallou: A possible explanation for this is that alcohol can be a great social lubricant, and strong social networks are essential for maintaining mental and physical health.

I've heard that before and it seems plausible.  It might also be that drinkers are less likely to be uptight twunts whose puritanical irritation with the rest of humanity stresses them to an early grave.


Or it could be the increased alcohol content sanitizes the body somewhat, protecting it. Not a bad deal...aside from killing brain cells and slowly destroying your liver. Gotta watch out for those "Hold my beer and watch this!" moments too.
 
2013-12-12 06:22:40 PM  

JasonOfOrillia: MrBallou: A possible explanation for this is that alcohol can be a great social lubricant, and strong social networks are essential for maintaining mental and physical health.

I've heard that before and it seems plausible.  It might also be that drinkers are less likely to be uptight twunts whose puritanical irritation with the rest of humanity stresses them to an early grave.


THIS, the teetotaling MADD neoprohibitionist types are whipping themselves with a catonine over the thought of someone else enjoying themself
 
2013-12-12 06:23:40 PM  
Damn near killed me. I was a yellow-eyed liver-failing bloated zombie that ended up in the ICU. In my case, not drinking gives me a better chance.

/ because I could down a case of beer and two bottles of saki a day and STILL effectively flame in Fark comments -- is that a farktioning alcoholic?
 
2013-12-12 06:26:14 PM  

Godscrack: A possible explanation for this is that alcohol can be a great social lubricant

Never tried that, but beer makes a good deodorant in a pinch.


Speaking of morning bathroom stuff, you know how everything you drink after brushing your teeth tastes either wrong or awful? Beer tastes like beer. It's really weird and amazing. A miracle, really.
 
2013-12-12 06:39:20 PM  

sxacho: Godscrack: A possible explanation for this is that alcohol can be a great social lubricant

Never tried that, but beer makes a good deodorant in a pinch.

Speaking of morning bathroom stuff, you know how everything you drink after brushing your teeth tastes either wrong or awful? Beer tastes like beer. It's really weird and amazing. A miracle, really.


Beer tastes awful after brushing your teeth, almost as bad as orange juice. I like all beer, good beer, average beer, even cheap beer. It still tastes like ass to me after I brush my teeth.
 
2013-12-12 06:40:59 PM  
I believe it. How many horriffic traffic accidents have you heard about where a family of six is killed by a drunk driver, yet the drunk comes away without a scratch.
 
2013-12-12 06:53:00 PM  

redmid17: TastyEloi: syrynxx: Pretty much every medical study shows that moderate drinking - 1 drink per day for women, 1-2 drinks per day for men - is far healthier than either heavy drinking or teetotalling.

I can't imagine drinking 1-2 drinks every day. The buzzed feeling is pleasant, sure, but it also means I'm useless for doing anything, well, useful for several hours. And since I work evenings, the only practical way to drink would be during the day, and I really can't afford to waste a few hours each afternoon sitting around being buzzed. So I only really drink on the weekends, and, evern then, not all that often.

2 beers gets you buzzed? And that's a serious question, not intended to be snarky. If you spread those drinks out at all and don't chug them, there's a good chance you barely rate a BAC at all.


When you're the size of Michael J. Fox and rarely drink, yeah, two beers can get you buzzed.
 
2013-12-12 07:08:52 PM  

TastyEloi: redmid17: TastyEloi: syrynxx: Pretty much every medical study shows that moderate drinking - 1 drink per day for women, 1-2 drinks per day for men - is far healthier than either heavy drinking or teetotalling.

I can't imagine drinking 1-2 drinks every day. The buzzed feeling is pleasant, sure, but it also means I'm useless for doing anything, well, useful for several hours. And since I work evenings, the only practical way to drink would be during the day, and I really can't afford to waste a few hours each afternoon sitting around being buzzed. So I only really drink on the weekends, and, evern then, not all that often.

2 beers gets you buzzed? And that's a serious question, not intended to be snarky. If you spread those drinks out at all and don't chug them, there's a good chance you barely rate a BAC at all.

When you're the size of Michael J. Fox and rarely drink, yeah, two beers can get you buzzed.


Ah okay. I figured it was a size thing. I haven't been that small since I was 12 so I can't even imagine the tolerance or lack thereof.
 
2013-12-12 07:12:51 PM  
Every school shooter has been stone cold sober.  Guns don't kill people, sober people kill people
 
2013-12-12 07:14:13 PM  
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
Approves
 
2013-12-12 07:16:52 PM  

redmid17: When you're the size of Michael J. Fox and rarely drink, yeah, two beers can get you buzzed.

Ah okay. I figured it was a size thing. I haven't been that small since I was 12 so I can't even imagine the tolerance or lack thereof.


I'm only 160 lbs and can drink a pint of vodak in less than an hour without most people even noticing.

/nothing to be proud of, Russ
 
2013-12-12 07:19:51 PM  

Isitoveryet: don't encourage me.


I'll buy this round...
 
2013-12-12 07:22:30 PM  

TastyEloi: When you're the size of Michael J. Fox and rarely drink, yeah, two beers can get you buzzed.


that's a shaky excuse.
 
2013-12-12 07:25:21 PM  

blatz514: Isitoveryet: don't encourage me.

I'll buy this round...


alright, you get this one, i get the next two.
 
2013-12-12 07:27:10 PM  
So the first Immortal living is a farker? Crazy.
 
2013-12-12 07:43:34 PM  
I really need to pop my Fark party cherry; you guys are generous.
 
2013-12-12 07:46:57 PM  

blatz514: I really need to pop my Fark party cherry; you guys are generous.


the last one i missed was at a local brewery (local for me).

http://www.stonelibertystation.com/beer/ http://www.stonelibertyst ation.com/beer/

& that place is awesome!

so, yeah, i think a bunch of cherries need popping.
 
2013-12-12 07:59:16 PM  
I sincerely hope that they excluded from non-drinkers individuals who can't drink due to pre-existing medical conditions, alcoholism, or unacceptable levels of side-effects from drinking.
 
2013-12-12 08:00:09 PM  

Isitoveryet: blatz514: I really need to pop my Fark party cherry; you guys are generous.

the last one i missed was at a local brewery (local for me).

http://www.stonelibertystation.com/beer/ http://www.stonelibertyst ation.com/beer/

& that place is awesome!

so, yeah, i think a bunch of cherries need popping.


No, Pop my cherry is at Wet 'N Reckless, not Liberty Station.
 
2013-12-12 08:10:38 PM  

Enigmamf: I sincerely hope that they excluded from non-drinkers individuals who can't drink due to pre-existing medical conditions, alcoholism, or unacceptable levels of side-effects from drinking.


Exactly. Put me in the alcoholism category. And from that, medical condition. I'm really tired of these constant studies imploring people to drink more booze. There's one on Fark every week. Funny how these stories have become more common as cannabis becomes more accepted.

/ the scared and frightened booze dealers are behind these studies
 
2013-12-12 08:14:14 PM  

MrBallou: Then they crush you by making you realize doesn't apply to Farkers at all:


I think they crossed that line right here

and lowest for moderate drinkers who enjoyed one to three drinks per day.
 
2013-12-12 08:24:36 PM  
Love how they call this a "new study."  Its three years old and already made the pop-health media rounds a long time ago.
 
2013-12-12 08:27:03 PM  

MrBallou: Cruel article. First they get you all excited:

[...]
Then they crush you by making you realize doesn't apply to Farkers at all:

A possible explanation for this is that alcohol can be a great social lubricant, and strong social networks are essential for maintaining mental and physical health.


I came to point that out. In the first place I might not drink so much if I weren't so farking nuts that nobody wants to hang with me even when they're drunk, and in the second place TheDavidTM drunk is less inhibited -- i.e. more likely to get punched in the face -- than sober. And that kind of pain is one stimulus I never acquired a taste for despite lots of opportunity. Ergo I drink alone. At home. Heavily. With only you Farkers for a "social network." So this article applies to anybody but me: in fact it's due mainly to your bad luck that I've survived to 50. And what's worse, I'm in better shape than a lot of isolated cranky old drunks in my socio-economic bracket -- so y'all might be cursed with me for many more years yet.

Pray for death. Yours if not mine. You might feel better; I sure won't feel worse.
 
2013-12-12 08:32:00 PM  

JasonOfOrillia: It might also be that drinkers are less likely to be uptight twunts whose puritanical irritation with the rest of humanity stresses them to an early grave.


I wouldn't call myself an uptight twunk and "puritanical" applies to me about as well as "buxom," but I will admit to being so irritated with the rest of humanity that an early grave might be a relief.

Sometimes the voices tell me I hate myself: the obvious rejoinder is that I hate y'all more.
 
2013-12-12 08:35:19 PM  

odinsposse: The news is that heavy drinkers are healthier than non-drinkers.


It can't be because I take such good care of myself.
 
2013-12-12 09:10:33 PM  
I think it keeps you healthy. My grandmother is healthy as a horse at 102 years old.  She doesn't even need glasses.  She just drinks straight out of the bottle.
 
2013-12-12 10:08:56 PM  
i don't drink alcohol and i never have, so excuse me if i think this study is bullshiat.  i refuse to believe that being a heavy drinker is somehow healthier than not drinking.  even the vague explanations they give don't make sense (it's a social lubricant?  heavy drinkers aren't as depressed?)  i'll agree that there may be some health benefits to drinking a glass of red wine a day, but there are also health benefits to being a vegetarian.  i'll stick with not drinking and take my chances.
 
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