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(Daily Mail)   Oprah, 59, anounces she won't have children   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 67
    More: Obvious, Oprah Winfrey, Gayle King, First National Bank, SAG Awards, Harpo, lee daniels, home economics, businesswoman  
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2305 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Dec 2013 at 8:55 AM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



67 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-12 08:59:13 AM
Sorry this is totally off-topic but can someone tell me why so many threads get closed to new comments so early?
 
2013-12-12 09:00:17 AM

Death Eats a Cracker: Sorry this is totally off-topic but can someone tell me why so many threads get closed to new comments so early?


No soup for you!
 
2013-12-12 09:00:29 AM

Death Eats a Cracker: Sorry this is totally off-topic but can someone tell me why so many threads get closed to new comments so early?


Because Oprah will eat them.
 
2013-12-12 09:01:16 AM
Say, does anyone know the line on the Lakers game tomorrow?
 
2013-12-12 09:03:07 AM
ts1.mm.bing.net
 
2013-12-12 09:09:35 AM
She won't be breeding.

/Good
 
2013-12-12 09:09:57 AM
Who's going to fight over her fortune after she's gone?
 
2013-12-12 09:15:25 AM
In other news, this is about the 25th time Jennifer Aniston has been pregnate this year.

www.celebdirtylaundry.com

/If Jen sleeps with me, I'm pretty sure she still won't get the happyness she deserves, but I'll enjoy it.
 
2013-12-12 09:18:28 AM
well if that news floats your boat wait til next week when i announce that i have children
 
2013-12-12 09:21:31 AM
Of course she won't, baby batter doesn't come out of a female tongue.
 
2013-12-12 09:25:16 AM
Well color me herpl derpl purple.
 
2013-12-12 09:28:19 AM
Is Oprah gay?
 
2013-12-12 09:28:30 AM
...for dinner.
 
2013-12-12 09:31:32 AM

Brick-House: In other news, this is about the 25th time Jennifer Aniston has been pregnate this year.

[www.celebdirtylaundry.com image 500x666]

/If Jen sleeps with me, I'm pretty sure she still won't get the happyness she deserves, but I'll enjoy it.


Please don't breed.
 
2013-12-12 09:31:32 AM
Why breed for everybody else's happiness?
 
2013-12-12 09:32:47 AM

Errk: Is Oprah gay?


Is water wet?
 
2013-12-12 09:34:47 AM

puckrock2000: Brick-House: In other news, this is about the 25th time Jennifer Aniston has been pregnate this year.

[www.celebdirtylaundry.com image 500x666]

/If Jen sleeps with me, I'm pretty sure she still won't get the happyness she deserves, but I'll enjoy it.

Please don't breed.


give me a break...FARK needs a spill chicker.
 
2013-12-12 09:45:05 AM
Probably better this way. The kids would be raised by nannies except for the rare occasion that Oprah trotted them out to show what an awesome mom she was
 
2013-12-12 09:47:10 AM
She's a billionaire because she worked extremely hard, got paid shiat, then finally got paid millions, but then didn't overextend herself, invested, then reinvested until she got to where she is today.

With all that in mind, in twenty years, Oprah could build a deadly army of Terminators to call her mommy and enslave your ass.

Fear the Oprah.

And you get enslaved... and you get enslaved...and you get enslaved...and you get enslaved..
 
2013-12-12 09:47:22 AM
Kaplah!!!
 
2013-12-12 09:47:49 AM
Didn't she already have a kid and it died or was sacrificed to Satan in exchange for wealth and success? I'm not up on my Oprah trivia.
 
2013-12-12 09:59:21 AM
Now that Mandela's shriveled old dick is gone?
 
2013-12-12 10:05:49 AM
Is this a Technical Darwin?

/no spawn ftw
 
2013-12-12 10:08:38 AM

Sybarite: Who's going to fight over her fortune after she's gone?


Steadman and Gayle.

/ Unless she leaves it all to her dogs.
 
ecl
2013-12-12 10:11:34 AM
sandrauve.files.wordpress.com
 
ecl
2013-12-12 10:19:07 AM
www.profilebrand.com
 
ecl
2013-12-12 10:20:31 AM
cdn.pophangover.com
 
ecl
2013-12-12 10:21:35 AM
cdn.24.co.za
 
ecl
2013-12-12 10:24:03 AM
cdn.24.co.za
 
2013-12-12 10:27:30 AM
She is far too self absorbed to raise children.

But then, so are lots of people, and it doesn't stop them.
 
2013-12-12 10:28:31 AM

RTOGUY: Didn't she already have a kid and it died or was sacrificed to Satan in exchange for wealth and success? I'm not up on my Oprah trivia.


She was sexual abused by stepfather(?) and had a child when she was young, but I believe that baby died.
 
2013-12-12 10:36:00 AM
She says if she had kids they would hate her.

It's hard to believe they would be that normal.
 
2013-12-12 10:36:05 AM
Oprah is this thing that has gone on in the background of my entire life, but that I've paid scant attention to.

Oprah is like NASCAR.  I know it's there.  It's been there for a long time.   A lot of people are really into it.  I've checked it out a few times... but meh.
 
2013-12-12 10:42:29 AM
I've heard she eats babies...

www.celebdirtylaundry.com

just saying...
 
2013-12-12 11:01:02 AM
Well, given that her charity orphanages turned into hell-holes even by third-world standards due to lack of oversight or accountability, apparently, deciding that she risked neglect of any kids of her own was probably an appropriate judgement call.

At least she had the self-awareness to know something would end badly in advance this time, good for her I guess.
 
2013-12-12 11:14:40 AM
oprah has the means and ability to rsise a small nation. still, this thread needs more stedman jokes.
 
2013-12-12 11:22:42 AM

offacue: Of course she won't, baby batter doesn't come out of a female tongue.



superawkwarddotnet.files.wordpress.com
/Anyone else feel like masturb barfing suddenly?
 
2013-12-12 11:42:46 AM

evilmousse: oprah has the means and ability to rsise a small nation. still, this thread needs more stedman jokes.


stedman69?? thinks her knees are too sharp
 
2013-12-12 11:50:39 AM
For once, I agree with her. I knew from the start that I was not parental material. Me having kids would not be fair to: 1.The child, 2.The mother 3. Me.

/I have childproofed ever domicile I have lived in.
//So far, it has worked.
 
2013-12-12 11:55:21 AM
Oprah seems more level-headed with her billions and fame than 90% of people in the world.  98% on Fark.  Just sayin.
 
2013-12-12 12:09:53 PM
Caring...not...still...am I...
 
2013-12-12 12:15:18 PM
Good we wont have the "I'm carrying on my mothers work"

When she is gone then so is the rest of the nonsense
 
2013-12-12 12:17:14 PM

ecl: [sandrauve.files.wordpress.com image 320x238]


Came for the minge. So to speak. Leaving happy.
 
2013-12-12 12:23:49 PM

"...couldn't eat another bite..."

 
2013-12-12 12:24:35 PM

Brick-House: puckrock2000: Brick-House: In other news, this is about the 25th time Jennifer Aniston has been pregnate this year.

[www.celebdirtylaundry.com image 500x666]

/If Jen sleeps with me, I'm pretty sure she still won't get the happyness she deserves, but I'll enjoy it.

Please don't breed.

give me a break...FARK needs a spill chicker.


www.sectalk.com
 
2013-12-12 12:30:48 PM

Rapmaster2000: Oprah is this thing that has gone on in the background of my entire life, but that I've paid scant attention to.

Oprah is like NASCAR.  I know it's there.  It's been there for a long time.   A lot of people are really into it.  I've checked it out a few times... but meh.



Perhaps you have one too many penii and fifteen too many teeth.
 
2013-12-12 12:51:36 PM

Cletus C.: She says if she had kids they would hate her.

It's hard to believe they would be that normal.


I hate her, can I have some of her money now?
 
2013-12-12 01:04:17 PM
.......for lunch today.
 
2013-12-12 01:05:13 PM

EyeballKid: ...for dinner.


damn it.  I've gotten lazy about checking threads the last couple o' days.
 
2013-12-12 01:16:10 PM
Oprah has large breast*** and a larger bank account. As the resident black guy, it should come as no surprise...


/I'd hit it
//***please keep the bra on during love making
///and tell the make-up artist that she lives with us, now
 
2013-12-12 01:17:01 PM
Thank god! She already gave birth to Gail King, I think that she has done enough damage!
 
2013-12-12 01:39:43 PM

Lee451: For once, I agree with her. I knew from the start that I was not parental material. Me having kids would not be fair to: 1.The child, 2.The mother 3. Me.

/I have childproofed ever domicile I have lived in.
//So far, it has worked.



A. Someone should have told your parents that.
B. Not knowing any women to have sex with probably helps.
C. Can your vacuum cleaner get pregnant?
 
2013-12-12 01:47:10 PM

karnal: Lee451: For once, I agree with her. I knew from the start that I was not parental material. Me having kids would not be fair to: 1.The child, 2.The mother 3. Me.

/I have childproofed ever domicile I have lived in.
//So far, it has worked.


A. Someone should have told your parents that.
B. Not knowing any women to have sex with probably helps.
C. Can your vacuum cleaner get pregnant?


Holy snaps!
 
2013-12-12 02:00:38 PM

Buttknuckle: karnal: Lee451: For once, I agree with her. I knew from the start that I was not parental material. Me having kids would not be fair to: 1.The child, 2.The mother 3. Me.

/I have childproofed ever domicile I have lived in.
//So far, it has worked.


A. Someone should have told your parents that.
B. Not knowing any women to have sex with probably helps.
C. Can your vacuum cleaner get pregnant?

Holy snaps!



I keed - I keed
 
2013-12-12 02:07:34 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: Oprah has large breast*** and a larger bank account. As the resident black guy, it should come as no surprise...


/I'd hit it
//***please keep the bra on during love making
///and tell the make-up artist that she lives with us, now


Token, is that you?
 
2013-12-12 02:23:39 PM
No felonies, She got a big butt, Single, and She's got no kids.

So, she is a bit old, but still!
 
2013-12-12 04:02:49 PM
Brick-House: pregnate pragnent

FTFY
 
2013-12-12 04:13:01 PM
Soooo Steadman is the beard for Oprah? I'm confused.
 
2013-12-12 04:15:11 PM

kyrg: Soooo Steadman is the beard for Oprah? I'm confused.


Of course you are confused.....now take that dress off and get back to work!
 
2013-12-12 04:25:29 PM

kyrg: Soooo Steadman is the beard for Oprah? I'm confused.


I believe the proper term is "merkin."
 
2013-12-12 04:42:26 PM
Then we must clone.
 
2013-12-12 08:50:56 PM
I wonder if Gayle King is the father?
 
2013-12-12 09:34:35 PM

Errk: Is Oprah gay?


---No, I think the problem must be that Gayle is infertile.
 
2013-12-12 10:04:36 PM
Well. she did try to buy a $38,000 turkey baster one time in Zurich.
 
2013-12-12 10:52:12 PM
Think a man from New New Zealand would rather stick his dick in a blender and then whats left a sheep then Oprah.

/Allah Ack-Oprah
 
2013-12-13 02:09:27 AM
Really not up on celeb tardy trivia, but didn't she have a kid that was given up for adoption when she was an underage hooker?

She was filming a movie next door to my old home before she was a talk show star. A very nice person was my impression when she and a few of the crew walked over to apologize for the very poor communication the production company made. Sorta was needed when I found a hose hooked up to my house without permission, and considering that water there was rather expensive I called the police. The local cops loved it because the house where they were filming at was owned by the sheriff.
 
2013-12-13 11:40:45 AM
I think the men of the world have already made that decision for her.
 
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