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(The New Yorker)   When the alarm goes off, do you hit the snooze button? Well, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG   (newyorker.com) divider line 145
    More: Interesting, Little Wonder, sleep cycle, metabolic syndrome, Kenneth Wright, loves  
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18287 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Dec 2013 at 9:21 PM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-11 07:52:56 PM
What is this "alarm" and "snooze button" of which you speak?
Please don't tell me that these are torture devices.
I'll have to sleep on that.
yeah yer life suks
 
2013-12-11 08:11:09 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-11 08:13:52 PM
Everyone knows that. The snooze button is a tease and a waste. You're still going to be miserable in 9 minutes and probably late now, dumbass.
 
2013-12-11 08:15:15 PM
I haven't been able to sleep longer than 4 hours for several months. No alarm needed

/It's getting to be a problem
 
2013-12-11 08:17:05 PM
If I fall back to sleep after hitting snooze button, I go straight back to REM sleep. I have had entire dreams in the 9 minutes between alarms.
 
2013-12-11 08:21:32 PM
I set my snooze for 5 minutes so i don't have time to get back to sleep properly, perhaps that's even worse.

Also

In the grip of sleep inertia, we may well do something we know we shouldn't. Whether or not to hit the snooze button is just about the first decision we make.

Yeah, I've rolled over and done some pretty bad things in the morning when I don't even have alcohol to blame. At least this provides a rational explanation.
 
2013-12-11 08:30:55 PM
If we could just synchronize our sleep more closely with natural light patterns, it would become far easier to wake up.

Right.  I'm sure waking at 9:00 and going to bed at 4:30 would be just fine with my job.
 
2013-12-11 08:39:00 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: If we could just synchronize our sleep more closely with natural light patterns, it would become far easier to wake up.

Right.  I'm sure waking at 9:00 and going to bed at 4:30 would be just fine with my job.


That's my problem. My body's Sleepy time is about midnight but I have to be up at 6:30 AM
 
2013-12-11 08:50:11 PM

Confabulat: Everyone knows that.

The snooze button is a tease and a waste. You're still going to be miserable in 9

(glorious minutes where you can explore a whole new landscape and just begin to understand a new concept of the universe and oh fark, I'm waking up. No! )

and probably late now, dumbass.


/and the dream wisps away like ghostly smoke.
 
2013-12-11 08:55:40 PM

Ambivalence: If I fall back to sleep after hitting snooze button, I go straight back to REM sleep. I have had entire dreams in the 9 minutes between alarms.


That's not REM sleep. It's a silly myth that you only dream at that time.
 
2013-12-11 08:55:49 PM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Benevolent Misanthrope: If we could just synchronize our sleep more closely with natural light patterns, it would become far easier to wake up.

Right.  I'm sure waking at 9:00 and going to bed at 4:30 would be just fine with my job.

That's my problem. My body's Sleepy time is about midnight but I have to be up at 6:30 AM


Well.  That's another problem for me.  My normal waking hours are about 10:00AM-3:00AM.  But yeah - this far north, timing myself with the sun would mean very short workdays in winter and burnout in summer.
 
2013-12-11 09:04:40 PM
Japanese television has a morning exercise program called the "radio exercise". It is taught in schools and practiced in many companies as a group activity to get started in the morning.

Anywho... I set my alarm to 1 minute before the broadcast (6:25am) and wake up and immediately turn on the TV and start the day with a brisk workout with the program. That gets me energized and I feel like I can take on the rest of the day with ease.
 
2013-12-11 09:12:19 PM
I haven't had anywhere important to be for what? years?

when you unhinge yourself from a 24-hour clock and just sleep when you're tired and wake up when you're not, I've found 24-hour-cycles bear little resemblance to reality. I usually will stay up for 36-48 and then nap for 16 or so, then maybe spend a few days napping every few hours, get up, read the news and post some bullshiat on Fark, nap again.

I think the sun and moon have it all very wrong.
 
2013-12-11 09:13:25 PM
How do people get jobs writing stream of consciousness  bullshiatlike this? Is this what those sociology majors end up doing? Get up, do two shots of vodka and go to work like the rest of us, asshole, you're lucky you have a job.
 
2013-12-11 09:24:03 PM

i369.photobucket.com

 
2013-12-11 09:24:55 PM
If you require an alarm clock you're doing something wrong.
 
2013-12-11 09:25:38 PM

Ambivalence: If I fall back to sleep after hitting snooze button, I go straight back to REM sleep. I have had entire dreams in the 9 minutes between alarms.


Night sleeping deserves a quiet night.
 
2013-12-11 09:27:16 PM
Haven't used an alarm in probably 15 years. It helps that my job has pretty flexible hours, but I generally wake up the same time every morning. Even on the weekends after 3 or 4 hours of sleep. I'm tired all the time anyways, but that's probably because of the booze.
 
2013-12-11 09:27:18 PM
Put alarm clock in bathroom.
Turn off alarm.
Pee.
Shower.
 
2013-12-11 09:28:45 PM
Alarm goes off, snooze goes on. You can't explain that.
 
2013-12-11 09:29:23 PM
img.fark.net

                     Alarm Clock
 
2013-12-11 09:32:37 PM
My alarm starts going off an hour before I actually need to wake up, then every fifteen minutes plus intermittent snooze alarms. My neighbors probably want me to die. In my defense, after the first alarm I usually wake up, put the phone in my hand, and go back to sleep in the clicking position to reduce my annoyance.
 
2013-12-11 09:33:02 PM
What gets me the most about these kind of articles is the idiots who write them assume everyone is the same, which we're not. Just like the idiots who claim everyone should eat breakfast, just because something works for you doesn't mean it works for everyone.

Some people, like myself, wake up better if it's a slower process. Spreading it out over a few hits of the snooze button makes me wake up more refreshed. If I just jump right out of bed I spend my first hour of the day in a groggy half asleep haze.
 
2013-12-11 09:33:45 PM

wildcardjack: If you require an alarm clock you're doing something wrong.


Some of us have jobs.

 "The  snooze button is awesome, nothing like starting the day off with a little procrastination. "
-Jim Gaffigan
 
2013-12-11 09:34:43 PM

Confabulat: I haven't had anywhere important to be for what? years?

when you unhinge yourself from a 24-hour clock and just sleep when you're tired and wake up when you're not, I've found 24-hour-cycles bear little resemblance to reality. I usually will stay up for 36-48 and then nap for 16 or so, then maybe spend a few days napping every few hours, get up, read the news and post some bullshiat on Fark, nap again.

I think the sun and moon have it all very wrong.


This.
 
2013-12-11 09:34:45 PM
My wife gave me a new alarm clock about 4 years ago. It doesn't have a working snooze button. In fact it would only get louder if I were to hit it.
 
2013-12-11 09:34:48 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: Japanese television has a morning exercise program called the "radio exercise". It is taught in schools and practiced in many companies as a group activity to get started in the morning.

Anywho... I set my alarm to 1 minute before the broadcast (6:25am) and wake up and immediately turn on the TV and start the day with a brisk workout with the program. That gets me energized and I feel like I can take on the rest of the day with ease.


And you call yourself an average American guy. Pfft.
 
2013-12-11 09:35:40 PM
props.handheldmuseum.com

"Muuurhrwhit's only just beguuuun..."
 
2013-12-11 09:38:38 PM
Never understood the snooze button. If I can sleep uninterrupted until 8:27 without being late, why the hell would I set my alarm for 8am and be disturbed three times?
 
2013-12-11 09:39:15 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: Japanese television has a morning exercise program called the "radio exercise". It is taught in schools and practiced in many companies as a group activity to get started in the morning.

Anywho... I set my alarm to 1 minute before the broadcast (6:25am) and wake up and immediately turn on the TV and start the day with a brisk workout with the program. That gets me energized and I feel like I can take on the rest of the day with ease.


Some chick giggles about being groped on the train while lavishing in the thought of you jerking off?
 
2013-12-11 09:39:49 PM
I take a 20 minute nap every 2 hours. It truly is the optimal way to sleep.
 
2013-12-11 09:40:21 PM
Pretty sure there's nothing to see here.  Somebody needed to put an article up and get paid, was a bit late on their weekly post, and likes catchy headlines.  The study doesn't seem to have anything at all to do with the snooze button, and the only reference to it is her own.  It's business as usual and, since we all probably clicked, business is okay.
 
2013-12-11 09:41:00 PM
What I want to know is, why is the default snooze time always nine minutes? Every single alarm I've ever seen, it's always NINE minutes. Why not five? Or ten? Why always that weird uneven nine? Who decided that nine was just enough time for extra sleep?

I find that an extremely fascinating number, and pondering it usually annoys me enough to get me out of bed in the morning.
 
2013-12-11 09:43:01 PM

vudukungfu: Put alarm clock in bathroom.
Turn off alarm.
Pee.
Shower.


Heel it down.
 
2013-12-11 09:43:10 PM

Gyrfalcon: What I want to know is, why is the default snooze time always nine minutes? Every single alarm I've ever seen, it's always NINE minutes. Why not five? Or ten? Why always that weird uneven nine? Who decided that nine was just enough time for extra sleep?

I find that an extremely fascinating number, and pondering it usually annoys me enough to get me out of bed in the morning.


This may or may not be true: the guy who designed the first snooze mechanism had a limited selection of gears and could only design the timer to over- or under-shoot ten minutes. He chose the lesser.
 
2013-12-11 09:43:22 PM

R Kelly's Doo Doo Butter: I take a 20 minute nap every 2 hours. It truly is the optimal way to sleep.


That's what Leonardo Da Vinci did. And it made his brain mossy and brimming with ideas, and that's how he ended up writing the Da Vinci code
 
2013-12-11 09:44:38 PM

Dragonflew: Never understood the snooze button. If I can sleep uninterrupted until 8:27 without being late, why the hell would I set my alarm for 8am and be disturbed three times?


One hit: "I can eat breakfast on the way to work"

Two hits: "Guess I'll skip breakfast"

Three hits: "I don't really need to shave today"

Four hits: "Instead of showering I'll just spray myself with Febreeze"
 
2013-12-11 09:44:49 PM

Gyrfalcon: What I want to know is, why is the default snooze time always nine minutes? Every single alarm I've ever seen, it's always NINE minutes. Why not five? Or ten? Why always that weird uneven nine? Who decided that nine was just enough time for extra sleep?

I find that an extremely fascinating number, and pondering it usually annoys me enough to get me out of bed in the morning.


I think it's because people like me stagger alarms on tens and fifteens, so one or two snoozes result in a cacophony of alarms.
 
2013-12-11 09:46:43 PM

Gyrfalcon: What I want to know is, why is the default snooze time always nine minutes? Every single alarm I've ever seen, it's always NINE minutes. Why not five? Or ten? Why always that weird uneven nine? Who decided that nine was just enough time for extra sleep?

I find that an extremely fascinating number, and pondering it usually annoys me enough to get me out of bed in the morning.


Gears.  The gears associated with the snooze function could re-activate the alarm at either 12 or 9 minutes.  The guy decided 12 was too much, so it was 9.  End of story.
 
2013-12-11 09:47:03 PM

UsikFark: Gyrfalcon: What I want to know is, why is the default snooze time always nine minutes? Every single alarm I've ever seen, it's always NINE minutes. Why not five? Or ten? Why always that weird uneven nine? Who decided that nine was just enough time for extra sleep?

I find that an extremely fascinating number, and pondering it usually annoys me enough to get me out of bed in the morning.

This may or may not be true: the guy who designed the first snooze mechanism had a limited selection of gears and could only design the timer to over- or under-shoot ten minutes. He chose the lesser.


I figure it's hard enough to do math in the AM with so you're forced not to rely on it. Round numbers mean you'd plan it in.

Also I find that waking up early and hitting snooze for 20-30 min is more relaxing than sleeping later.
 
2013-12-11 09:47:59 PM

chocolate covered poop: R Kelly's Doo Doo Butter: I take a 20 minute nap every 2 hours. It truly is the optimal way to sleep.

That's what Leonardo Da Vinci did. And it made his brain mossy and brimming with ideas, and that's how he ended up writing the Da Vinci code


Don't you need like an hour and a half to get to REM sleep? I don't mean the fruity band, I mean the dream state.
 
2013-12-11 09:48:28 PM
TFA is so full of shiat it should be re-headlined 'A Full Of Shiat Article'.
 
2013-12-11 09:51:36 PM
A friend came up with the best idea for an alarm, ever. It plays a recording of a cat retching. If you've ever lived with cats you know that sound will have you on your feet and moving before your eyes are even open...."dear god not on the carpet, not on the bedspread"
 
2013-12-11 09:53:38 PM
Today I woke up to my alarm, turned it off, rolled out of bed, got dressed for work, went outside, turned on the truck and heard a strange buzz. Then I woke up.
 
2013-12-11 09:55:22 PM
I used to wake Ken up with a crowbar on the back of the head. But I recently found that this was too far from his brain and I wasn't getting through to him anymore. So I now wake him up with a steel peg driven into his skull with a mallet.
 
2013-12-11 09:55:32 PM

Mugato: chocolate covered poop: R Kelly's Doo Doo Butter: I take a 20 minute nap every 2 hours. It truly is the optimal way to sleep.

That's what Leonardo Da Vinci did. And it made his brain mossy and brimming with ideas, and that's how he ended up writing the Da Vinci code

Don't you need like an hour and a half to get to REM sleep? I don't mean the fruity band, I mean the dream state.


You've never waken up from a dream, only to fall asleep and continue dreaming? Or experienced microsleep, where you are so tired you dream for a second while you close your eyes, then wake up with a jolt?
 
2013-12-11 09:56:25 PM
Worked flagging this summer. No problem at all getting up at 5:30 am. Working nights at Wendy's now, don't get to sleep until that time at the earliest, sleep til mid afternoon, get up, get ready, go to work. I hate it so much...
 
2013-12-11 09:59:19 PM
When the alarm goes off, I hit snooze.  My alarm has a snooze for 1 hour option.  That's what I hit.  Then I'm perfectly free to spend the next hour however I want.  I can go back to sleep, I can slowly wake up. If I'm motivated, I can get up after the first alarm.  Almost always I fall back to sleep for another 20 - 40 minutes, then I wake up gradually.  But it's comforting to know that if I do fall back into deep sleep, the alarm will go off again before it's too late for me to get to work on time.  On the weekends, the alarm is generally off, but there's a K-9 backup system that normally kicks in to wake me up before 9.

That 1 hour snooze is pretty awesome for one reason.  I tend to remember my dreams a lot better in the time I'm sleeping between alarms.  They're mostly fascinating, sometimes they put me in a good mood, and even when I have a scary dream, I think they're cool.  I guess it's my love of horror movies that make the scary ones fun.

But then again I do have lots of sleep problems.  My problem is falling asleep and more importantly staying asleep.  Which then makes getting up really hard.  I don't think I've slept for more than 3 - 4 hours without waking up in, well, I can't honestly recall.
 
2013-12-11 10:00:00 PM

Phineas J Whoopee: A friend came up with the best idea for an alarm, ever. It plays a recording of a cat retching. If you've ever lived with cats you know that sound will have you on your feet and moving before your eyes are even open...."dear god not on the carpet, not on the bedspread"


That is 100% accurate, and an excellent idea. "No don't you make me wash the bed again you rat bastard I just did the whole thing three days ago thanks to you!!!!"

Thankfully he usually goes on the tile now, but every once and awhile... D:
 
2013-12-11 10:02:47 PM
Anybody who wakes up to an alarm is doing it wrong. I wake up to easy listening radio, and my alarm clock gradually increases the volume from zero to whatever volume it's set to. And the clock is across the room; I have to get up to turn it off.
 
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