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(Imgur)   Allegedly this is the actual script for WWE's Royal Rumble pay per view back in January, but since "CENA WINS LOL" isn't written anywhere, we can't really be sure   (imgur.com) divider line 70
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1786 clicks; posted to Sports » on 11 Dec 2013 at 7:33 PM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-11 07:50:01 PM
Load The Shield under the ring? Shouldn't they have asked Hornswoggle first?
 
2013-12-11 07:54:37 PM
It is not scrawled in Crayon and it has no visible Australian Gold self-tanner stains. Fake.
 
2013-12-11 07:58:16 PM

Owangotang: It is not scrawled in Crayon and it has no visible Australian Gold self-tanner stains. Fake.


s2.quickmeme.com
 
2013-12-11 08:02:58 PM
Why isn't this in the entertainment tab? (someone has to say it)
 
2013-12-11 08:06:36 PM

Toxicphreke: Why isn't this in the entertainment tab? (someone has to say it)


Because

pbs.twimg.com

that's why.
 
2013-12-11 08:06:52 PM

Toxicphreke: Why isn't this in the entertainment tab? (someone has to say it)


It's more of a sport than poker.
 
2013-12-11 08:07:33 PM
A fWc thread on a Wednesday?
 
2013-12-11 08:07:56 PM
BALLYHOO
 
2013-12-11 08:09:53 PM

Toxicphreke: Why isn't this in the entertainment tab? (someone has to say it)


and:

[its-still-real-to-me.jpg]

/Haven't watched wrestling since I was a kid.
//Not my cup of tea, but if someone else enjoys it go for it.
 
2013-12-11 08:12:51 PM
Um... armbar? o_o'
 
2013-12-11 08:16:29 PM
I miss you guys in the fWc. I am sorry that I can't come back, its just that WWE is so bad right now that I find more entertainment in pulling my fingernails out over that BS on Raw
 
2013-12-11 08:17:25 PM
Kinda surprised the intended match results aren't written in there. I suppose they do have to account for "personal demons" and whatnot.
 
2013-12-11 08:17:48 PM

cman: I miss you guys in the fWc. I am sorry that I can't come back, its just that WWE is so bad right now that I find more entertainment in pulling my fingernails out over that BS on Raw


You missed he first clenis appearance on RAW since Chyna left in 2001.

/alas, "Benoit has already ascended" didn't make the cut.
 
2013-12-11 08:19:19 PM

Gosling: Kinda surprised the intended match results aren't written in there. I suppose they do have to account for "personal demons" and whatnot.


Why, whatever are you talking about?
 
2013-12-11 08:20:55 PM

Flappyhead: Gosling: Kinda surprised the intended match results aren't written in there. I suppose they do have to account for "personal demons" and whatnot.

Why, whatever are you talking about?


www.gerweck.net
 
2013-12-11 08:20:59 PM
So when did they start outright scripting promos? I can understand skits but I thought standard procedure for promos was to give the talent 3 or 4 bullet points to talk about and let them fill in the rest. Is everyone in the promotion so bereft of mic skills these days?
 
2013-12-11 08:23:39 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Flappyhead: Gosling: Kinda surprised the intended match results aren't written in there. I suppose they do have to account for "personal demons" and whatnot.

Why, whatever are you talking about?

[www.gerweck.net image 474x353]


Thats the day everyone should have stopped watching TNA
 
2013-12-11 08:25:03 PM
I smell Orton here.  It says Punk enters with Heyman.  If it were real, it'd say "Punk enters dragging Heyman".
 
2013-12-11 08:26:52 PM
(B Roll from Smackdown: Alberto Del Rio Buries The Big Show under the Announce Table to win the World Heavyweight Championship)

No! That's too specific! That is not B-roll!
 
2013-12-11 08:31:39 PM

Snapper Carr: So when did they start outright scripting promos? I can understand skits but I thought standard procedure for promos was to give the talent 3 or 4 bullet points to talk about and let them fill in the rest. Is everyone in the promotion so bereft of mic skills these days?


Bullet points are still acceptable on the Indies.  Once you get to the E, however, they  haveto script everything for timing and content.  Also, a lot of their guys are physically gifted, but verbally dullards (stupid sexy Roman).

I'm more amused that they actually script out what the ring announcers say.

/yay repetition and index cards
 
2013-12-11 08:32:41 PM

Snapper Carr: So when did they start outright scripting promos? I can understand skits but I thought standard procedure for promos was to give the talent 3 or 4 bullet points to talk about and let them fill in the rest. Is everyone in the promotion so bereft of mic skills these days?


They started scripting them somewhere in 1999/2000, after Austin went out for neck surgery at Survivor Series 1999 and came back in September 2000.

They did it because Lil Princess Steffie and Big Daddy Vince think they're a real TV show, and hired a bunch of ex-soap writers and comedians to write full scripts instead of letting the wrestlers do what they've been doing for decades or getting people who actually know wrestling to book the show.

Now, it's so entrenched that there are full script, and only the biggest stars get to veer from it.

You want to see a funny bit of that? Find Dusty Rhodes and Stephanie McMahon from a September RAW. Dusty is being Dusty, without a script, while Steffie is reading what she memorized. She had no chance of hanging with the Dream or his belly welly. And it pissed Nipple H off.
 
2013-12-11 08:38:38 PM

FirstNationalBastard: You want to see a funny bit of that? Find Dusty Rhodes and Stephanie McMahon from a September RAW. Dusty is being Dusty, without a script, while Steffie is reading what she memorized. She had no chance of hanging with the Dream or his belly welly. And it pissed Nipple H off.


You don't even have to go that far back. There was one a few weeks ago where there was an exchange between Orton and Aitches during an opener where one of them apparently deviated from their lines slightly and the result was unintentionally hilarious.
 
2013-12-11 08:55:53 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Flappyhead: Gosling: Kinda surprised the intended match results aren't written in there. I suppose they do have to account for "personal demons" and whatnot.

Why, whatever are you talking about?

[www.gerweck.net image 474x353]


Heh, was hoping that would be the response.  Watching Sting forcibly hold Hardy down for the pinfall was way funnier than it should have been.
 
2013-12-11 09:19:04 PM
That was extremely uninteresting (both the script and the ppv)

I prefer the script from when Austin returned on RAW In 2000 - http://www.wrestlingforum.com/27333409-post1.html

Austin, Rock, Undertaker, Angle, Jericho and the great Benoit. Good times
 
2013-12-11 09:35:03 PM

The Bestest: FirstNationalBastard: You want to see a funny bit of that? Find Dusty Rhodes and Stephanie McMahon from a September RAW. Dusty is being Dusty, without a script, while Steffie is reading what she memorized. She had no chance of hanging with the Dream or his belly welly. And it pissed Nipple H off.

You don't even have to go that far back. There was one a few weeks ago where there was an exchange between Orton and Aitches during an opener where one of them apparently deviated from their lines slightly and the result was unintentionally hilarious.


Yeah, here's a script from 2000 when Chris Kreski was the head of creative -

http://imgur.com/a/ZVCNw

There are some blurbs, but mostly it's just bullet points and trusting the wrestlers to get the point across.

/Kreski demanded that every story made logical sense and drew extensive storyboards for months-long storylines, so clearly Steph and Gagne had to frustrate him into quitting
 
2013-12-11 09:43:22 PM
A bonus fWc thread? Sweet.

"... from the Harley Races, to the Barry Windhams... to the Ric Flairs..."

"Never mind that shiat, here comes Mongo!"


i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-11 10:02:13 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Snapper Carr: So when did they start outright scripting promos? I can understand skits but I thought standard procedure for promos was to give the talent 3 or 4 bullet points to talk about and let them fill in the rest. Is everyone in the promotion so bereft of mic skills these days?

They started scripting them somewhere in 1999/2000, after Austin went out for neck surgery at Survivor Series 1999 and came back in September 2000.

They did it because Lil Princess Steffie and Big Daddy Vince think they're a real TV show, and hired a bunch of ex-soap writers and comedians to write full scripts instead of letting the wrestlers do what they've been doing for decades or getting people who actually know wrestling to book the show.

Now, it's so entrenched that there are full script, and only the biggest stars get to veer from it.

You want to see a funny bit of that? Find Dusty Rhodes and Stephanie McMahon from a September RAW. Dusty is being Dusty, without a script, while Steffie is reading what she memorized. She had no chance of hanging with the Dream or his belly welly. And it pissed Nipple H off.


It's stupid they script promos... I mean, part of the reason they are in the WWE is their promo skills from the indies. You get a lot more unique styles and promos (see: 1980s) when they aren't scripted. I mean, giving them bullet points is smart and all, but letting them run their mouths themselves is the way to do it. Probably part of the reason most promos nowadays don't hold a candle to the ones 15+ years ago. I mean, Hulk Hogan, Flair, Dusty and Warrior promos were things of beauty
 
2013-12-11 10:09:59 PM
machoprogrammer:

It's stupid they script promos... I mean, part of the reason they are in the WWE is their promo skills from the indies. You get a lot more unique styles and promos (see: 1980s) when they aren't scripted. I mean, giving them bullet points is smart and all, but letting them run their mouths themselves is the way to do it. Probably part of the reason most promos nowadays don't hold a candle to the ones 15+ years ago. I mean, Hulk Hogan, Flair, Dusty and Warrior promos were things of beauty

You can't script a Warrior promo.

Not even a room full of 1,000 PCP-addled monkeys typing on 1,000 typewriters could recreate the works of The Ultimate Warrior.

No writer has the destrucity to craft a Warrior promo.

/take care of you and yours, Warriors, find your foke.
 
2013-12-11 10:10:08 PM

machoprogrammer: I mean, Hulk Hogan, Flair, Dusty and Warrior promos were things of beauty


machoprogrammer: I mean, Hulk Hogan, Flair, Dusty and Warrior promos were things of beauty



Warrior's for a different reason.

/Biggest understatement in wrestling history - "His interviews were a little bit quizzical" Jericho on Warrior
 
2013-12-11 10:10:13 PM

robsul82: The Bestest: FirstNationalBastard: You want to see a funny bit of that? Find Dusty Rhodes and Stephanie McMahon from a September RAW. Dusty is being Dusty, without a script, while Steffie is reading what she memorized. She had no chance of hanging with the Dream or his belly welly. And it pissed Nipple H off.

You don't even have to go that far back. There was one a few weeks ago where there was an exchange between Orton and Aitches during an opener where one of them apparently deviated from their lines slightly and the result was unintentionally hilarious.

Yeah, here's a script from 2000 when Chris Kreski was the head of creative -

http://imgur.com/a/ZVCNw

There are some blurbs, but mostly it's just bullet points and trusting the wrestlers to get the point across.

/Kreski demanded that every story made logical sense and drew extensive storyboards for months-long storylines, so clearly Steph and Gagne had to frustrate him into quitting


I cannot "this" this enough. Even on the indie level, the script v. bullet point divide is there. Watch the CHIKARA "Ashes" videos with Icarus, Green Ant, 3.0 etc (available here) and compare their wooden delivery of lines with the brilliance of durn near any given promo (Ick 'n' Akuma's Megan's Law promo is Hall of Fame-worthy.)
 
2013-12-11 10:17:59 PM

Snapper Carr: machoprogrammer: I mean, Hulk Hogan, Flair, Dusty and Warrior promos were things of beauty

machoprogrammer: I mean, Hulk Hogan, Flair, Dusty and Warrior promos were things of beauty


Warrior's for a different reason.

/Biggest understatement in wrestling history - "His interviews were a little bit quizzical" Jericho on Warrior


www.gifcrap.com

www.gifcrap.com

i.imgur.com

31.media.tumblr.com

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-12-11 10:31:25 PM

machoprogrammer: I mean, Hulk Hogan, Flair, Macho Man, Dusty and Warrior promos were things of beauty

.

FTFY
 
2013-12-11 10:31:37 PM

Snapper Carr: machoprogrammer: I mean, Hulk Hogan, Flair, Dusty and Warrior promos were things of beauty

machoprogrammer: I mean, Hulk Hogan, Flair, Dusty and Warrior promos were things of beauty


Warrior's for a different reason.

/Biggest understatement in wrestling history - "His interviews were a little bit quizzical" Jericho on Warrior


Exactly, that is why they were awesome.
 
2013-12-11 10:33:31 PM
 
2013-12-11 10:45:06 PM

FirstNationalBastard: machoprogrammer:

It's stupid they script promos... I mean, part of the reason they are in the WWE is their promo skills from the indies. You get a lot more unique styles and promos (see: 1980s) when they aren't scripted. I mean, giving them bullet points is smart and all, but letting them run their mouths themselves is the way to do it. Probably part of the reason most promos nowadays don't hold a candle to the ones 15+ years ago. I mean, Hulk Hogan, Flair, Dusty and Warrior promos were things of beauty

You can't script a Warrior promo.

Not even a room full of 1,000 PCP-addled monkeys typing on 1,000 typewriters could recreate the works of The Ultimate Warrior.

No writer has the destrucity to craft a Warrior promo.

/take care of you and yours, Warriors, find your foke.


Lol. Again, not a wrestling fan but that dude must of been taking some REALLY hard drugs to come up with some of that stuff.

Youtube Compilation
 
2013-12-11 10:52:01 PM

robsul82: Ain't NOBODY scripting "Crash the Plane," the gold standard of Ultimate Warrior promos...HOKE HO-GAN!


The total amount of blow used in Hollywood in the 1980s is not enough to get "Crash The Plane" written by WWE Creative.
 
2013-12-11 11:09:00 PM

FirstNationalBastard: robsul82: Ain't NOBODY scripting "Crash the Plane," the gold standard of Ultimate Warrior promos...HOKE HO-GAN!

The total amount of blow used in Hollywood in the 1980s is not enough to get "Crash The Plane" written by WWE Creative.


I don't think there has been enough drugs in the history of the world to get Creative to write the "Crash The Plane" promo
 
2013-12-11 11:09:43 PM
Say what you will about the Ultimate Warrior but I do not have a doubt in my mind that a Ryback who ran to the ring, shook the ropes, and gave gibberish-filled promos using the softYELLINGsoftYELLING style would be bigger than Cena with the kids. Considering the fact that WWE is actively created with the kids first and foremost in mind it is kinda perplexing that this has not yet happened. I guess no one thinks kids want to paint their faces in bright colors and run around like maniacs anymore.
 
2013-12-11 11:24:24 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfG7fYl_H_o

Funniest Hogan promo ever. Vince's reactions during it are priceless
 
2013-12-12 12:07:04 AM

you are a puppet: That was extremely uninteresting (both the script and the ppv)

I prefer the script from when Austin returned on RAW In 2000 - http://www.wrestlingforum.com/27333409-post1.html

Austin, Rock, Undertaker, Angle, Jericho and the great Benoit. Good times


A) Based on that Kurt Angle could have stopped Sandusky

B) WHAR FILL OUT SLAMMY FORM WHAR?
 
2013-12-12 12:38:33 AM
Crash the plane?! Hogan WAS behind 9/11! I KNEW IT!
 
2013-12-12 12:57:03 AM
sting has to be 100 years old at this point.


/arn anderson was best
 
2013-12-12 01:16:20 AM

soakitincider: sting has to be 100 years old at this point.


/arn anderson Thunderbolt Patterson was best


FTFY :)
 
2013-12-12 01:39:08 AM

cheezitmojo: Crash the plane?! Hogan WAS behind 9/11! I KNEW IT!


The evidence has always been in front of you, BROTHER!

d1ig05b2kzagsz.cloudfront.net
 
2013-12-12 01:46:23 AM

cheezitmojo: Crash the plane?! Hogan WAS behind 9/11! I KNEW IT!


Well DUH.

i621.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-12 01:52:40 AM
I'd be more impressed if it was NEXT MONTH'S Royal Rumble script.
 
2013-12-12 01:54:10 AM

clintster: cheezitmojo: Crash the plane?! Hogan WAS behind 9/11! I KNEW IT!

The evidence has always been in front of you, BROTHER!

[d1ig05b2kzagsz.cloudfront.net image 850x637]


DAMMIT!
 
2013-12-12 02:05:15 AM

bluorangefyre: I'd be more impressed if it was NEXT MONTH'S Royal Rumble script.


Pretty sure the script says:
"Cena wins"
"We talk about how HHH was the best in the attitude era"
 
2013-12-12 02:07:23 AM

machoprogrammer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfG7fYl_H_o

Funniest Hogan promo ever. Vince's reactions during it are priceless


I just watched that match again from the end of that link for the first time since I was little. I know Andre's movement was limited by the time it took place but I thought he still made it look good. What really got me though was how well Hogan sold in those days. Not like Ziggles or anything but he honestly did make every move he took look devastating. Have to give him credit there.

Also watched Goldust's debut match for the first time afterwords. Had no idea his first WWF match was in Canada. Looks like he got a lot better at applying the face paint over the years too, lulz
 
2013-12-12 02:07:45 AM

TheManofPA: bluorangefyre: I'd be more impressed if it was NEXT MONTH'S Royal Rumble script.

Pretty sure the script says:
"Cena wins"
"We talk about how HHH was the best in the attitude era"


I love how he stuck himself into the Slammies for Match of the Year.
 
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