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(Deadspin)   The rant of this angry Knicks fan given after the 41-point loss to the Celtics is pure poetry (video) (not safe for work language)   (deadspin.com) divider line 41
    More: Amusing, Knicks, Celtics, Andrea Bargnani, rants, Icy Hot  
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1089 clicks; posted to Sports » on 11 Dec 2013 at 4:38 PM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-11 04:04:36 PM
Between "I SKIPPED CHURCH!", the incredible anger at the idea of getting blown out by the 12-year-old coach from Butler, his buddy's "yep!  right!  uh huh!" confirmations, and telling Patrick Ewing to pull out his dick and piss on this year's Knicks if they offer him a job, this is gold.  If you can't pick a favorite part, it's got to be good.
 
2013-12-11 04:24:11 PM

robsul82: Between "I SKIPPED CHURCH!", the incredible anger at the idea of getting blown out by the 12-year-old coach from Butler, his buddy's "yep!  right!  uh huh!" confirmations, and telling Patrick Ewing to pull out his dick and piss on this year's Knicks if they offer him a job, this is gold.  If you can't pick a favorite part, it's got to be good.


This really is great. I know a half dozen guys who could have given this exact same rant. Hilarious.
 
2013-12-11 04:26:14 PM
 
2013-12-11 04:28:40 PM
My goodness, this is a Golden Age for New York sports haters like myself.
 
2013-12-11 04:41:43 PM
Ain't no rage as good as Justifiable Rage.
 
2013-12-11 04:46:49 PM
Another sad victim of Vertical Video Syndrome....

/This could have been avoided.
 
2013-12-11 04:50:18 PM
The Knicks have two problems.

First, no Tyson Chandler.

Second, Amar'e is bad.  Like.  I don't know what a replacement power forward is, ala baseball's notion of replacement player, but he'd be better than Amar'e.
 
2013-12-11 04:52:32 PM
Amar'e? biatch, you need Icy-Hot spray. Your motherfarking knees is shot!
 
2013-12-11 04:59:13 PM

JerseyTim: robsul82: Between "I SKIPPED CHURCH!", the incredible anger at the idea of getting blown out by the 12-year-old coach from Butler, his buddy's "yep!  right!  uh huh!" confirmations, and telling Patrick Ewing to pull out his dick and piss on this year's Knicks if they offer him a job, this is gold.  If you can't pick a favorite part, it's got to be good.

This really is great. I know a half dozen guys who could have given this exact same rant. Hilarious.


Oh yeah, I hear something like this at the local bars every weekend, just not this balls-out hysterical, lol.
 
2013-12-11 05:04:32 PM

Dafatone: The Knicks have two problems.

First, no Tyson Chandler.

Second, Amar'e is bad.  Like.  I don't know what a replacement power forward is, ala baseball's notion of replacement player, but he'd be better than Amar'e.


Did the amnesty clauses expire and if not do the Knicks still have theirs? Because he's a prime candidate. Tough to win when you're paying a guy 21 mill for 7 points a game.
 
2013-12-11 05:06:30 PM

robsul82: Between "I SKIPPED CHURCH!", the incredible anger at the idea of getting blown out by the 12-year-old coach from Butler, his buddy's "yep!  right!  uh huh!" confirmations, and telling Patrick Ewing to pull out his dick and piss on this year's Knicks if they offer him a job, this is gold.  If you can't pick a favorite part, it's got to be good.


Nah, he should've given it to Dolan.  Farking little midget~!

But otherwise that was great. XD
 
2013-12-11 05:06:33 PM
THAT is farkin hilarious.

You can tell they're all buddies because the cameraman and the guy in the background totally know what buttons to push. Professional enabling. Gold.

/"Yeah, that's true, you DID say that...."
 
2013-12-11 05:08:32 PM

Dafatone: The Knicks have two problems.

First, no Tyson Chandler.

Second, Amar'e is bad.  Like.  I don't know what a replacement power forward is, ala baseball's notion of replacement player, but he'd be better than Amar'e.


Amar'e contract is one of those things that you look at, and wonder how he ever got it. He wasn't worth that contract at any point in his career, and signing him tied their hands wrt signing other players (LeBron isn't going to be, and shouldn't be, the second-highest paid player on his own team).
 
2013-12-11 05:09:13 PM

R.A.Danny: Ain't got nuthin' on Lee Elia. NSFW Language


So much THIS!!  All sport rants quake in fear of Elia's rant.
 
2013-12-11 05:09:48 PM
Hopefully Simmons heard this rant with Jalen.
 
2013-12-11 05:11:01 PM
True.
 
2013-12-11 05:13:00 PM
Yo. That cameraman needs to follow me around all day one time so he can co-sign on everything I say. He's a real artist.
 
2013-12-11 05:19:55 PM
ESPN Radio should fire BIll Daughtry and replace him with this guy to do Knicks post game shows.

/also, ESPN radio should fire Bill Daughtry.
 
2013-12-11 05:27:35 PM

Neeek: Dafatone: The Knicks have two problems.

First, no Tyson Chandler.

Second, Amar'e is bad.  Like.  I don't know what a replacement power forward is, ala baseball's notion of replacement player, but he'd be better than Amar'e.

Amar'e contract is one of those things that you look at, and wonder how he ever got it. He wasn't worth that contract at any point in his career, and signing him tied their hands wrt signing other players (LeBron isn't going to be, and shouldn't be, the second-highest paid player on his own team).


I thought Amaree was really good in Phoenix. It wasn't just that Nash was his PG. He even started off pretty well with the Knicks.  His wheels just feel off. (So did Nash's wheels). Amaree 4 years ago was a force in the NBA.
My team will be happy to take him off your hands if you are also willing to part with your ping pong ball.
 
2013-12-11 05:31:48 PM

MayoSlather: Dafatone: The Knicks have two problems.

First, no Tyson Chandler.

Second, Amar'e is bad.  Like.  I don't know what a replacement power forward is, ala baseball's notion of replacement player, but he'd be better than Amar'e.

Did the amnesty clauses expire and if not do the Knicks still have theirs? Because he's a prime candidate. Tough to win when you're paying a guy 21 mill for 7 points a game.


You're going to like this.  They picked up Chauncey's 11-12 salary at $14.2M in April 2011, then used the amnesty clause on him in December 2011 before he played a minute of the (lockout-delayed) season.
 
2013-12-11 05:33:21 PM
I have never found sports more exhilarating than those classic 1990s Knicks vs. Heat/Pacers series. The Knicks have been dead to me since.
 
2013-12-11 05:35:00 PM

Devo: I thought Amaree was really good in Phoenix. It wasn't just that Nash was his PG. He even started off pretty well with the Knicks. His wheels just feel off.


By this point injuries have slowed him down too, but the real issue is more a floor spacing/personnel one. Amar'e, despite having the body and much of the game of a "4" just does way better and feels more comfortable as a "5". He did pretty well in his first year as a Knick without a great PG either because he was the center and had the entire paint to operate on the offensive end. Once you stick an anchor in there with him like Chandler or Kenyon Martin, it just farks him up.

Now in add in the injuries, and probably a certain emo/"woe is me" mindset he might have since 'Melo came in and because the unquestioned leader & star of the team, and yeah...he no lookey good
 
2013-12-11 05:42:52 PM
It's okay...but it's no Factory of Sadness.
 
2013-12-11 05:47:26 PM
Is it possible to shoot smart phone video in portrait mode? THEN DO IT.
 
2013-12-11 05:58:22 PM
The Celtics need to lock Brad Stevens in the basement for the rest of the year so we can get some of that sweet, sweet lottery.
 
2013-12-11 06:22:47 PM
I enjoyed this.  Thanks Subby.
 
2013-12-11 06:29:00 PM
Plenty of Amurikans can't understand why Pres. Obama doesn't go off like this.

Plenty of others listen to him talk and this is what they hear.
 
2013-12-11 06:36:09 PM

Badmoodman: Plenty of Amurikans can't understand why Pres. Obama doesn't go off like this.

Plenty of others listen to him talk and this is what they hear.


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-11 06:47:43 PM
Oh man. I have to take this in small doses. Brilliant.
 
2013-12-11 06:56:17 PM

ChrisDe: Is it possible to shoot smart phone video in portrait mode? THEN DO IT.


Landscape!
 
2013-12-11 07:06:48 PM

aintnuttintofarkwith: The Celtics need to lock Brad Stevens in the basement for the rest of the year so we can get some of that sweet, sweet lottery.


I don't know which moment was more shocking on Sunday - looking up at the TV and seeing 18-1 (ONE point), or the part where I looked up and saw the graphic saying that they were 9-12 and in first farking place.  Either way, I didn't drink nearly enough for either to make sense.

\it's almost like it's a fight to see who can suck the most in the division
\\aaand then there's Toronto
 
2013-12-11 07:20:42 PM

FriarReb98: aintnuttintofarkwith: The Celtics need to lock Brad Stevens in the basement for the rest of the year so we can get some of that sweet, sweet lottery.

I don't know which moment was more shocking on Sunday - looking up at the TV and seeing 18-1 (ONE point), or the part where I looked up and saw the graphic saying that they were 9-12 and in first farking place.  Either way, I didn't drink nearly enough for either to make sense.

\it's almost like it's a fight to see who can suck the most in the division
\\aaand then there's Toronto


If you're the fifth worst team, but still make the playoffs because your division blows sausage, do you still get a shot at the lottery?
 
2013-12-11 08:03:38 PM
Should ask this guy when is the best time to put in a tomato plant.
 
2013-12-11 09:15:10 PM
And even this farked up they're still leading the Bulls by 15 at halftime. Sad panda.
 
2013-12-11 09:38:50 PM

robsul82: And even this farked up they're still leading the Bulls by 15 at halftime. Sad panda.


Sad panda indeed.

No Butler or Deng means the Bulls are pretty terrible, though.  Their offense appears to be hinrich and dunleavy chucking threes.
 
2013-12-11 09:42:45 PM

Dafatone: robsul82: And even this farked up they're still leading the Bulls by 15 at halftime. Sad panda.

Sad panda indeed.

No Butler or Deng means the Bulls are pretty terrible, though.   Their offense appears to be hinrich and dunleavy chucking threes.


Yepppppppppp.
 
2013-12-11 09:43:15 PM

robsul82: Dafatone: robsul82: And even this farked up they're still leading the Bulls by 15 at halftime. Sad panda.

Sad panda indeed.

No Butler or Deng means the Bulls are pretty terrible, though.   Their offense appears to be hinrich and dunleavy chucking threes.

Yepppppppppp.


Jesus christ, Dunleavy just tried to drive.

I'm liking Snell, though.  Not loving him.  But liking him.
 
2013-12-11 09:50:34 PM

Dafatone: robsul82: Dafatone: robsul82: And even this farked up they're still leading the Bulls by 15 at halftime. Sad panda.

Sad panda indeed.

No Butler or Deng means the Bulls are pretty terrible, though.   Their offense appears to be hinrich and dunleavy chucking threes.

Yepppppppppp.

Jesus christ, Dunleavy just tried to drive.

I'm liking Snell, though.  Not loving him.  But liking him.


Dunleavy trying to do things like that makes a person feel the same way during a dog's "it thinks it's people" moments.
 
2013-12-11 10:16:10 PM
Amateur

ohiopresspass.com
 
2013-12-12 12:50:57 AM
I'm glad the Bulls managed to lose to the likes of the Knicks. That's a difficult thing to accomplish these days.

/high draft pick hoooo!
 
2013-12-12 06:16:39 PM
 
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