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(Slate)   "Correction: This article originally misidentified penguins as mammals. They are birds"   (slate.com) divider line 38
    More: Dumbass, St. Nick, Santa Clauses, IRVING, isn't it time, St. Nicholas  
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2443 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Dec 2013 at 9:23 AM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-11 09:26:23 AM
Bats aren't bugs!

Hey, who's giving this report, you chowderheads, or me?
 
2013-12-11 09:29:14 AM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-11 09:36:15 AM
Is this Slate article, or an Onion article?

Really, Aisha? You want Santa Claus to be a penguin because White People?

fc06.deviantart.net
 
2013-12-11 09:38:07 AM
Sure subby, penguin's aren't mammals.
Next thing you'll tell me is that dolphins aren't fish.
 
2013-12-11 09:39:24 AM

ElwoodCuse: Bats aren't bugs!

Hey, who's giving this report, you chowderheads, or me?


Calvin Elwood, I'd like to see you a moment.
 
2013-12-11 09:41:45 AM
The real thing?  If any three year olds are reading this, please stop reading.  Santa is make believe.

That said, if you're going to jump on a culture's fun holiday myth train, you're kind of stuck with the original concept.  Which is some Germanic/Dutch/Scandinavian thing.  It is only a story of course, so sure, tell your kids he changes color at each chimney, the important thing is the spirit of giving, not the skin tone.

For that matter Jesus should probably be depicted as looking like Yasser Arafat, but again, presumably the message should matter more than the image.  I guess it's human nature to want our heroes to look like us.   I'm a big fan of MLK, I'm going order my neutral skin tone MLK painting now.

I don't love penguins.
 
2013-12-11 09:42:56 AM
If black people can have Kwanzaa, a holiday strictly for and about black people, then leave Santa white! White people haven't asked black people to change Kwanzaa, don't ask us to change our Santa.
 
2013-12-11 09:44:52 AM
img150.imageshack.us
 
2013-12-11 09:46:16 AM
www.thegatewaypundit.com
 
2013-12-11 09:46:43 AM
I like to imagine Santa as a pink dinosaur.

/Dear, 8 pound, 6 ounce, newborn infant Jesus...
 
2013-12-11 09:51:20 AM
Saint Nicholas the semi-historical figure was a Greek Anatolian, so not exactly Northern European either.

Still, this article is dumb.
 
2013-12-11 09:52:56 AM
This is what happens when you write after having too much eggnog.
 
2013-12-11 09:56:58 AM
Way to feed that whole "Angry, stupid Black woman" stereotype, there. She's even got a stereotype-appropriate name, too. At least she isn't named that popular black woman's name that won't make it past the word filters but consists of "Shi + Tonya".
 
2013-12-11 09:58:43 AM

Silly_Sot: Way to feed that whole "Angry, stupid Black woman" stereotype, there. She's even got a stereotype-appropriate name, too. At least she isn't named that popular black woman's name that won't make it past the word filters but consists of "Shi + Tonya".


There's a popular African American name that basically says "shiat on ya" ?!

Double facepalm if true.
 
2013-12-11 10:00:14 AM

Ker_Thwap: The real thing?  If any three year olds are reading this, please stop reading.  Santa is make believe.

That said, if you're going to jump on a culture's fun holiday myth train, you're kind of stuck with the original concept.  Which is some Germanic/Dutch/Scandinavian thing.  It is only a story of course, so sure, tell your kids he changes color at each chimney, the important thing is the spirit of giving, not the skin tone.

For that matter Jesus should probably be depicted as looking like Yasser Arafat, but again, presumably the message should matter more than the image.  I guess it's human nature to want our heroes to look like us.   I'm a big fan of MLK, I'm going order my neutral skin tone MLK painting now.


Traditional Eastern Orthodox depictions of Jesus portray him as dark-haired, brown-eyed, "olive" skin tone, etc. It's those freaky Protestants and their made-it-all-up-yesterday religion that are the problem in that area.
 
2013-12-11 10:01:20 AM
So what kind of cookies did she leave for Santa?
 
2013-12-11 10:05:22 AM
Honestly, that article reads like it was thought up by a 4th grader.

If there's an African American version of Fox & Friends,  this girl should be on it.
 
2013-12-11 10:08:11 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-11 10:08:34 AM

eyeq360: So what kind of cookies did she leave for Santa?


Herringdoodles.
 
2013-12-11 10:11:57 AM
FTFA: "When I was a kid, I knew two different Santa Clauses. The first had ... skin as pink as bubble gum. Then there was the Santa in my family's household ... his skin was as dark as mine.
Seeing two different Santas was bewildering. Eventually I asked my father what Santa really looked like. Was he brown, like us? Or was he really a white guy?
My father replied that Santa was every color. Whatever house he visited, jolly old St. Nicholas magically turned into the likeness of the family that lived there.

In hindsight, I see this explanation as the great Hollywood spec script racism it really is."


FTFH
 
2013-12-11 10:12:18 AM
There's one on the telly.
3.bp.blogspot.com
/boom
 
2013-12-11 10:23:24 AM
I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!

I also like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.
 
2013-12-11 10:24:40 AM
Dearest Aisha,

Santa Claus was a Greek. And he would like you to stop being a racist anti-white hatemonger this year.

Sincerely,

W.B.
 
2013-12-11 10:27:05 AM
I don't know about this. Slate recently ran an expose' on penguins, and they're into some pretty freaky shiat:

"While visiting Adélie penguins rookeries, Levick was shocked by the activities of what he called "hooligan cocks." Males accosted and copulated with other males, females that were injured, chicks that had tumbled from their nests, and corpses. In desperation, some male Adélie penguins tried to mate with the ground until they ejaculated. Levick recorded these behaviors as aberrations from the norm of nature. "There seems to be no crime too low for these penguins," he confided to his journal. "

http://www.slate.com/blogs/wild_things/2013/10/28/sea_otter_dolphin_ an d_penguin_behavior_your_favorite_animals_are_jerks.html

Necrophilia is not in the spirit of Christmas. Also, "Hooligan Cocks" would be a great name for a band.
 
2013-12-11 10:27:46 AM
lostbetweentheletters.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-11 10:40:36 AM

Rowena: [lostbetweentheletters.files.wordpress.com image 850x277]


biatch didn't even appreciate the professional-looking clear plastic binder.
 
2013-12-11 10:48:06 AM
imageshack.us

What a strange coincidence that God and Santa are basically the same person. I'm betting when they were young, they were also blond and very rich too.

/Don't tread on them
 
2013-12-11 10:54:59 AM

Think 4D: I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!

I also like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.


first-draft-blog.typepad.com
 
2013-12-11 11:01:51 AM

Godscrack: [imageshack.us image 744x308]

What a strange coincidence that God and Santa are basically the same person. I'm betting when they were young, they were also blond and very rich too.

/Don't tread on them


I remember reading a book about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel that said people were confused about who the old guy was on the ceiling. At that time, people didn't picture God as an old man--Michelangelo, like many Reconnaissance artists, was tapping into old Greek and Roman art and made the Christian God look like Zeus.

I was also going to make a point that it's hard to change traditions, so just invent a new one where Opus Claus brings presents to his kids, and see if it catches on. That point kind of contradicts the previous one that one guy changed what people think God looked like, though. Maybe he just needs a great artist to paint a masterpiece of his penguin...
 
2013-12-11 11:02:51 AM

washington-babylon: Dearest Aisha,

Santa Claus was a Greek. And he would like you to stop being a racist anti-white hatemonger this year.

Sincerely,

W.B.


Technically accurate, but ignores the major Dutch influences on it, which is how it came to America
 
2013-12-11 01:37:56 PM

YixilTesiphon: Saint Nicholas the semi-historical figure was a Greek Anatolian, so not exactly Northern European either.

Still, this article is dumb.


Maybe a Greek colonist. Where do you think the Greeks came from?
 
2013-12-11 01:44:00 PM

WI241TH: washington-babylon: Dearest Aisha,

Santa Claus was a Greek. And he would like you to stop being a racist anti-white hatemonger this year.

Sincerely,

W.B.

Technically accurate, but ignores the major Dutch influences on it, which is how it came to America


I thought he hitched a ride with Jesus and left memos on golden post-its for the Latter Day Saints.

/Santa Claus, Superstar, are you the elf that they say you are? <i>Hey, Santa. Ho, Santa. Santa, Santa, ho....
 
2013-12-11 03:10:59 PM
The people responsible for this correction have been sacked.  Now bring on Ralph the Wonder Llama!
 
2013-12-11 03:29:51 PM

antron: [img150.imageshack.us image 400x300]


imageshack.us
 
2013-12-11 05:55:56 PM
So, instead of being politically incorrect, we'll just be geographically incorrect instead?  Yeah, good idea when so many people can't even find the U.S. on a map, let alone identify which pole penguins and Santa Claus are associated with.
 
2013-12-12 12:49:27 AM

06Wahoo: So, instead of being politically incorrect, we'll just be geographically incorrect instead?  Yeah, good idea when so many people can't even find the U.S. on a map, let alone identify which pole penguins and Santa Claus are associated with.


Well, she could have said polar bears... But then Coca-Cola would sue her.
 
2013-12-12 08:53:11 AM

StoPPeRmobile: YixilTesiphon: Saint Nicholas the semi-historical figure was a Greek Anatolian, so not exactly Northern European either.

Still, this article is dumb.

Maybe a Greek colonist. Where do you think the Greeks came from?


It's not like it's likely that he was a first-generation Anatolian. Greeks lived in what is now Turkey for millenia.
 
2013-12-12 01:24:03 PM

MBooda: There's one on the telly.
[3.bp.blogspot.com image 358x300]
/boom


Oh, intercourse the penguin!
 
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