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(Wired)   Today's helping of nightmare fuel: predatory underwater dragonfly nymphs that breathe through their anuses, use their rectums for jet propulsion, and attack prey with mouths that look like something out of "Alien"   (wired.com) divider line 41
    More: Scary, mouths, rectums, dragonflies, Pounds per square inch, body cavity, metamorphosis, entomology, gills  
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4203 clicks; posted to Geek » on 10 Dec 2013 at 8:21 PM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-10 07:57:20 PM
www.wired.com
Such a dopey little grin!

www.wired.com

AHHH KILL IT WITH FIRE! IT LOOKS LIKE THE SUPER VAMPIRES FROM THE LAST BLADE MOVIE! WTF?!
 
2013-12-10 08:17:46 PM
Anyone else here fish with Dobsonfly larvae?  They're the toughest bastards I've ever seen.  Put a hook through their tails and drop them in the water.  Fish comes along to eat the larvae.  The larvae clamps the fish by the lip and doesn't let go.  You reel in the fish.

Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat.

leahskey.files.wordpress.com

/do NOT let it bite you
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-12-10 08:23:02 PM
Anyone else here fish with Dobsonfly larvae?

The adults are pretty mean looking too.
entnemdept.ufl.edu
 
2013-12-10 08:24:33 PM

ZAZ: Anyone else here fish with Dobsonfly larvae?

The adults are pretty mean looking too.
[entnemdept.ufl.edu image 400x465]


The one on the left is a male and is harmless.  But a lot of fun at parties.

The one on the right is a female and will bite the living hell out of you given half the chance.
 
2013-12-10 08:28:30 PM
So dragonflies are even more bad ass than I had previously known? I'm okay with this.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-12-10 08:29:05 PM
I forgot to mention, the Eastern Dobsonfly probably appears close to life size on your monitor. The "jaws" of the male are over an inch long.
 
2013-12-10 08:33:01 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Anyone else here fish with Dobsonfly larvae?  They're the toughest bastards I've ever seen.  Put a hook through their tails and drop them in the water.  Fish comes along to eat the larvae.  The larvae clamps the fish by the lip and doesn't let go.  You reel in the fish.

Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat.

[leahskey.files.wordpress.com image 800x533]

/do NOT let it bite you


They're called "hellgramites" aren't they?

The adults have a huge jaw, but leverage means they can't bite through human skin.
 
2013-12-10 08:35:46 PM

Ed Grubermann: So dragonflies are even more bad ass than I had previously known? I'm okay with this.


They spend the majority of their lives being bad asses under water.  In a way, insects are just crustaceans that evolved to absorb oxygen through their skin by undergoing an earth shattering transformation.  Once they could breathe the air, they filled all available niches, from tunneling to flying to eating shiat and liking it.

Also note that at one point in earth's history, oxygen levels reached 30% (compared to 20% today).  This means that the volume to surface area limits that insects hit re their ability to absorb oxygen were much higher.  If I'm not mistaken, dragonflies back then were as large as crows.
 
2013-12-10 08:36:45 PM

ZAZ: I forgot to mention, the Eastern Dobsonfly probably appears close to life size on your monitor. The "jaws" of the male are over an inch long.


They look a tad small to me.  My daughter and I used to raise one occasionally.  The farkers are HUGE.
 
2013-12-10 08:38:44 PM

doglover: They're called "hellgramites" aren't they?


They are.  Especially if you're fishing.  And I'm not even sure they're legal for fishing in some places.  Not that I have ever caught any fish with them, you understand.  I heard it from a friend of mine.  Who's passed away.  May he rest in peace.
 
2013-12-10 08:44:18 PM

Marcus Aurelius: doglover: They're called "hellgramites" aren't they?

They are.  Especially if you're fishing.  And I'm not even sure they're legal for fishing in some places.  Not that I have ever caught any fish with them, you understand.  I heard it from a friend of mine.  Who's passed away.  May he rest in peace.


fark Dobson, then. They're hellgramites.
 
2013-12-10 08:49:59 PM

doglover: fark Dobson, then. They're hellgramites


Unless the game warden wants to know.  In that case they are "Corydalus cornutus ".
 
2013-12-10 09:15:52 PM
"...dragonflies breathe via anal gills..."

Oh, blow it out your ass
 
2013-12-10 09:18:25 PM
Yeah, I've fished with them many times as a kid. We called them Gator Fleas because of their size. And they would bring the blood if you let one of them bite you.
 
2013-12-10 09:19:54 PM
Predatory underwater dragonfly nymphs would be a great name for an all girl punk band

/Hellgramites Angels?
 
2013-12-10 09:20:25 PM
this little insect has 1/7th of a Camaro in its ass

Makes that goatse guy look like a piker.
 
2013-12-10 09:37:52 PM
Aw, it's a baby dragonfly... *unfurls switchblade face waldo...* STOMP-STOMP-STOMP-STOMP...

Seriously, though, quite cool.
 
2013-12-10 09:39:28 PM

Marcus Aurelius: doglover: They're called "hellgramites" aren't they?

They are.  Especially if you're fishing.  And I'm not even sure they're legal for fishing in some places.  Not that I have ever caught any fish with them, you understand.  I heard it from a friend of mine.  Who's passed away.  May he rest in peace.


Did they get him?

Just come swarming up out of the bait bucket and...
 
2013-12-10 09:46:43 PM
They kill mosquitoes = I has a love for them
 
2013-12-10 09:57:51 PM
Breathes through its anus.

What are denizens of the politics tab Alex?
 
ecl
2013-12-10 09:59:01 PM
These things need to be stopped before they somehow become huge.  Of course I say that about everything.
 
2013-12-10 10:01:15 PM
Anyone else read that as underwear?
It is much scarier like that.
 
2013-12-10 10:06:07 PM
Dragonflies are dedicated to eradicating mosquitoes at all stages of their lives. I am OK with them.
 
2013-12-10 10:08:52 PM

Ed Grubermann: So dragonflies are even more bad ass than I had previously known? I'm okay with this.


Plus those dragonfly nymphs are down there eating....mosquito larvae.  I'm very ok with this.  Kill the bastards while they're children.
 
2013-12-10 10:10:04 PM
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark]


Anyone else here fish with Dobsonfly larvae? They're the toughest bastards I've ever seen. Put a hook through their tails and drop them in the water. Fish comes along to eat the larvae. The larvae clamps the fish by the lip and doesn't let go. You reel in the fish


Skeptical.
 
2013-12-10 10:52:38 PM

BumpInTheNight: Breathes through its anus.

What are denizens of the politics tab Alex?


It's not an anus, it's a cloaca, which is a combination anus, urinary tract, and sexual organ.
 
2013-12-10 11:29:04 PM
entomologist 1: "Look at this crazy bug, it breathes through its ass!"

Entomologist 2: "you think maybe you just labeled it backwards?"

Entomologist 1: "... Well I already wrote it in pen."
 
2013-12-10 11:53:29 PM

Arkanaut: BumpInTheNight: Breathes through its anus.

What are denizens of the politics tab Alex?

It's not an anus, it's a cloaca, which is a combination anus, urinary tract, and sexual organ.


Triple penetration!
 
2013-12-10 11:56:59 PM
These creatures are not of this world. The anal probing makes much more sense now.
 
2013-12-11 01:13:46 AM

fusillade762: this little insect has 1/7th of a Camaro in its ass

Makes that goatse guy look like a piker.


I love tech analogies from people that don't understand the tech they're using for the analogy. A turbocharger doesn't make power. It makes pressure. It can help a powerful engine become a lot more powerful, and a small engine become a bit more powerful. But it doesn't produce power by itself. My Volvo's turbo puts out 15 psi. But while it's pretty quick,I don't pretend it's more powerful than the current turbo camaro. But by that guy's standards, that dragonfly has a 15th of a Volvo in its ass.
 
2013-12-11 01:15:24 AM
What an ass =/
 
2013-12-11 03:01:50 AM
Predatory UNDERWEAR Dragonfly nymphs?!?!

Oh, thank god I read that wrong.
 
2013-12-11 03:50:05 AM

KawaiiNot: Predatory UNDERWEAR Dragonfly nymphs?!?!

Oh, thank god I read that wrong.


Haha- I misread it the exact same way

/SHUDDER
 
2013-12-11 03:53:59 AM

doglover: Marcus Aurelius: Anyone else here fish with Dobsonfly larvae?  They're the toughest bastards I've ever seen.  Put a hook through their tails and drop them in the water.  Fish comes along to eat the larvae.  The larvae clamps the fish by the lip and doesn't let go.  You reel in the fish.

Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat.

[leahskey.files.wordpress.com image 800x533]

/do NOT let it bite you

They're called "hellgramites" aren't they?

The adults have a huge jaw, but leverage means they can't bite through human skin.


Only ever seen one (a male) when I was a kid (11-ish?) on Long Island. Played with it for a while, scared the shiat out of the other kids, then tossed it in the web of the spider I'd been feeding all summer.

It ate well.
 
2013-12-11 04:57:23 AM

BumpInTheNight: Breathes through its anus.

What are denizens of the politics tab Alex?


The Penis Mightier for $500
 
2013-12-11 06:20:09 AM
Nymphs, eh?  Well let's just click this saucy little link and....OH MY GOD
 
2013-12-11 07:22:39 AM

Greek: fusillade762: this little insect has 1/7th of a Camaro in its ass

Makes that goatse guy look like a piker.

I love tech analogies from people that don't understand the tech they're using for the analogy. A turbocharger doesn't make power. It makes pressure. It can help a powerful engine become a lot more powerful, and a small engine become a bit more powerful. But it doesn't produce power by itself. My Volvo's turbo puts out 15 psi. But while it's pretty quick,I don't pretend it's more powerful than the current turbo camaro. But by that guy's standards, that dragonfly has a 15th of a Volvo in its ass.


So you are that Guy?
 
2013-12-11 10:53:45 AM
farm1.staticflickr.com
 
2013-12-11 01:10:30 PM
Dragonfly nymphs also have a taste for tadpole legs, and may at least partially explain missing legs in frogs. Video
 
2013-12-11 02:53:55 PM

lazfx: Greek: fusillade762: this little insect has 1/7th of a Camaro in its ass

Makes that goatse guy look like a piker.

I love tech analogies from people that don't understand the tech they're using for the analogy. A turbocharger doesn't make power. It makes pressure. It can help a powerful engine become a lot more powerful, and a small engine become a bit more powerful. But it doesn't produce power by itself. My Volvo's turbo puts out 15 psi. But while it's pretty quick,I don't pretend it's more powerful than the current turbo camaro. But by that guy's standards, that dragonfly has a 15th of a Volvo in its ass.

So you are that Guy?


Apparently I am.Words mean something, and this guy used the automotive equivalent of "a series of tubes."
 
2013-12-11 07:47:34 PM
"They can throttle their rectum back to produce varying amounts of thrust through the water."

Phfft. So could I in Learn to Swim 2 class.
 
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