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(io9)   Roman emperors were powerful, rich, and really farking gross sexual deviants   (io9.com) divider line 117
    More: Sick, paraphilias, Caligula, Nero  
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21813 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Dec 2013 at 1:41 PM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



117 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-10 12:39:13 PM
Tiddlers. That is the most hysterically wrong thing ever.
 
2013-12-10 12:41:49 PM
Or in modern terms, republicans.
 
2013-12-10 01:25:20 PM
Out of all the things, I will just say, absolute power corrupts absolutely.
 
2013-12-10 01:27:35 PM
...and this is a surprise exactly how?
 
2013-12-10 01:33:31 PM
Obvious tag failed history as did subby I see
 
2013-12-10 01:42:31 PM
Aren't a lot of these things now supposedly just rumors made up to discredit previous Emperors?
 
2013-12-10 01:44:55 PM
Is the obvious tag out farking 8 year old boys?
 
2013-12-10 01:46:51 PM
Well I did hear Caligula got a scholarship to Penn State
 
2013-12-10 01:46:54 PM
A lot of the stuff you hear about the emperors is likely not true.  Most of the histories were written by the Senatorial class who wrote nasty propaganda against Emperors who didn't give a shiat about the Senate.
 
2013-12-10 01:47:00 PM
Bah.

Most of these stories come from Suetonius, and even other ancient Romans thought he was a lying sack of shiat.

This is essentially an article citing a guy who was something like the TMZ/National Enquirer of his day, as unimpeachable fact.

-1
 
2013-12-10 01:47:43 PM
I learned this from Caligula.
 
2013-12-10 01:48:02 PM
What a load of cobblers!
 
2013-12-10 01:48:16 PM
Our society is stupefied by puritanism.
 
2013-12-10 01:48:20 PM

whistleridge: Bah.

Most of these stories come from Suetonius, and even other ancient Romans thought he was a lying sack of shiat.

This is essentially an article citing a guy who was something like the TMZ/National Enquirer of his day, as unimpeachable fact.

-1


Basically the walls of Pompey.
 
2013-12-10 01:48:33 PM

nmrsnr: Aren't a lot of these things now supposedly just rumors made up to discredit previous Emperors?


I just heard that Caligula's problem is that his enemies got to write his biographies, so all we really know is as accurate as a political blog hit piece.
 
2013-12-10 01:48:39 PM

hubiestubert: ...and this is a surprise exactly how?


Just what I was thinking, a lot of this stuff was known for decades.
 
2013-12-10 01:48:58 PM
He has a wife, you know......
 
2013-12-10 01:49:04 PM
Mount Vesuvius tried to help.
 
2013-12-10 01:49:06 PM

nmrsnr: Aren't a lot of these things now supposedly just rumors made up to discredit previous Emperors?


Yep.
 
2013-12-10 01:49:39 PM
Really? Well, this is a shocking revelation.
 
2013-12-10 01:49:52 PM

foo monkey: Tiddlers. That is the most hysterically wrong thing ever.


Oh yeah, that is what he called them. TFA says so. They can't put it on the internet unless it's true.
I'm sure if you look up the etymology of the word, you will find that. I would do it, but I have to be at the Gym in 24 minutes.
 
2013-12-10 01:50:51 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Our society is stupefied by puritanism.


0/10.
You're a bad troll, a very bad troll.
 
2013-12-10 01:51:36 PM

BiffDangler: A lot of the stuff you hear about the emperors is likely not true.  Most of the histories were written by the Senatorial class who wrote nasty propaganda against Emperors who didn't give a shiat about the Senate.


That is true. Also, early Christians created a lot of stories about the depravity of wealthy Roman pagans in order to convert the lower classes.
 
2013-12-10 01:51:54 PM
It's good to be the king.
 
2013-12-10 01:52:30 PM

CygnusDarius: whistleridge: Bah.

Most of these stories come from Suetonius, and even other ancient Romans thought he was a lying sack of shiat.

This is essentially an article citing a guy who was something like the TMZ/National Enquirer of his day, as unimpeachable fact.

-1

Basically the walls of Pompey.


'Pompey' was a guy. He conquered a good chunk of the Middle East, before losing a civil war to Julius Caesar. 

'Pompeii' was a town near Naples that got obliterated by a volcano, and which is famous for having lots of hilariously pornographic graffitti on the walls, like:

Weep, you girls.  My penis has given you up.  Now it penetrates men's behinds.  Goodbye, wondrous femininity!I.2.20 (Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio); 3932:
 
2013-12-10 01:52:45 PM
Suetonius was the era's Sean Hannity
 
2013-12-10 01:52:49 PM

Richard C Stanford: Because People in power are Stupid: Our society is stupefied by puritanism.

0/10.
You're a bad troll, a very bad troll.


There's a difference between trolling and having an honest opinion. Or perhaps you are trolling, very well:

1/10

(Got me to answer)
 
2013-12-10 01:52:57 PM
Reading these "facts" truly drives home the point that even thousands of years ago, there were trolls.  It really gives you an appreciation for the sweeping grandeur that is human history.
 
2013-12-10 01:54:40 PM
www.aidthoughts.org
 
2013-12-10 01:58:57 PM

Latinwolf: hubiestubert: ...and this is a surprise exactly how?

Just what I was thinking, a lot of this stuff was known for decades.


I was gonna say, weren't they painted that way? With brushes and text, ppl
 
2013-12-10 02:00:07 PM

Astorix: Suetonius was the era's Sean Hannity


Well. Put.

i1096.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-10 02:01:08 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Richard C Stanford: Because People in power are Stupid: Our society is stupefied by puritanism.

0/10.
You're a bad troll, a very bad troll.

There's a difference between trolling and having an honest opinion. Or perhaps you are trolling, very well:

1/10

(Got me to answer)


Unless you're sincerely defending babyrape, you're still the troll in this scenario.
 
2013-12-10 02:01:48 PM
Thankfully human nature has changed, could you imagine what todays rich and powerful would be up too?

/s
 
2013-12-10 02:01:56 PM

hubiestubert: ...and this is a surprise exactly how?


It's not news it's fark.com
 
2013-12-10 02:02:24 PM
Am I the only one taking notes for the next toga party?
 
2013-12-10 02:04:11 PM

BiffDangler: A lot of the stuff you hear about the emperors is likely not true.  Most of the histories were written by the Senatorial class who wrote nasty propaganda against Emperors who didn't give a shiat about the Senate.


true however the things you hear/read are just so perverted and crazy that even if 10% of them are true still makes the emperors really disgusting evil people. I want to add the popes in the middle ages could give these emperors stiff competion in their debauchery and sadistic ways.
 
2013-12-10 02:06:21 PM
1. Royalty Inbreeds
2. Meh
3. Don't believe anything I read about Nero
4. See 1
5. What, you mean like brothels?
6. See 1
7. Ok, so you are offended by brothels
8. Meh
9. See 3
10, 11 ok, that's pretty messed up.

This stuff qualifies as debauchery? Even /b/ is more perverted!
 
2013-12-10 02:09:04 PM
I'm still trying to figure out why all the Romans had English Accents.
 
2013-12-10 02:09:09 PM

Hickory-smoked: Because People in power are Stupid: Richard C Stanford: Because People in power are Stupid: Our society is stupefied by puritanism.

0/10.
You're a bad troll, a very bad troll.

There's a difference between trolling and having an honest opinion. Or perhaps you are trolling, very well:

1/10

(Got me to answer)

Unless you're sincerely defending babyrape, you're still the troll in this scenario.


I look at through the lens of anthropology. If you're sensibilities are really that fragile -then why even read about it? The reason is that you are looking at it through the lens of your current culture which allows you to feel superior. Here's a news flash: you are not superior. You are merely engaged in the culture of the times which is based in a crass departure from the norms derived from most of history.

One can simply observe Roman civilization and say "it was such" without needing to defend it from a modern view or look down on it through some puritanical lens.
 
2013-12-10 02:09:55 PM
What I get from that article is that people are capable of horrible things, corruption is a constant, we've no idea how much of that is true and how much is slander from political rivals and zealots, and don't drink the lead laced kool-aid.

Also, Nero was a furry
 
2013-12-10 02:12:19 PM
Keep in mind that the histories were written by the senatorial class, and if they hated you....well, 2000 years later people are reading about how you screwed your sister.
 
2013-12-10 02:13:19 PM
What else was there back then except misery.
 
2013-12-10 02:15:50 PM

whistleridge: CygnusDarius: whistleridge: Bah.

Most of these stories come from Suetonius, and even other ancient Romans thought he was a lying sack of shiat.

This is essentially an article citing a guy who was something like the TMZ/National Enquirer of his day, as unimpeachable fact.

-1

Basically the walls of Pompey.

'Pompey' was a guy. He conquered a good chunk of the Middle East, before losing a civil war to Julius Caesar. 

'Pompeii' was a town near Naples that got obliterated by a volcano, and which is famous for having lots of hilariously pornographic graffitti on the walls, like:

Weep, you girls.  My penis has given you up.  Now it penetrates men's behinds.  Goodbye, wondrous femininity!I.2.20 (Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio); 3932:


Damn it, I knew something was bad.

/Romanes eunt domus.
 
2013-12-10 02:22:44 PM
Pervert? Baby, thats putting it mildly.
www.videotapeswapshop.co.uk
 
2013-12-10 02:22:48 PM
I have a very good friend in Rome named Biggus Diccus.
 
2013-12-10 02:22:51 PM

BiffDangler: A lot of the stuff you hear about the emperors is likely not true.  Most of the histories were written by the Senatorial class who wrote nasty propaganda against Emperors who didn't give a shiat about the Senate.


I really liked that one movie that showed whats her name from her perspective inside Versailles as opposed to the let them eat cake version that history likes to tell. Thought provoking.
 
2013-12-10 02:23:21 PM
They missed Maximinus II who wrote it into law that he had dibs over any virgin bride prior to her wedding day and Commodus who had a harem of 300.

Now that's doing it like a boss!
 
2013-12-10 02:24:54 PM

LewDux: What a load of cobblers!


img.fark.netimg.fark.net
Mmmm... cobblers.

See? If Suetonius had some tasty baked goods, maybe he wouldn't have been such a jerk.
 
2013-12-10 02:27:05 PM

orclover: Pervert? Baby, thats putting it mildly.
[www.videotapeswapshop.co.uk image 377x251]


Meh.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-12-10 02:30:22 PM

Deep Contact: What else was there back then except misery.


Peace, roads, aqueducts  :)
 
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