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(Mother Jones)   I know this sounds unbelievable but there may be a Senate candidate who just might be too cray cray for Texas   (motherjones.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, Senate Candidate, U.S. Senate, R-Texas, Steve Stockman, Sen. Cornyn  
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3779 clicks; posted to Politics » on 10 Dec 2013 at 12:33 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



122 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-12-10 12:33:29 PM  
Hey man, our crazy in this state goes up to eleven...
 
2013-12-10 12:35:10 PM  

UberDave: Hey man, our crazy in this state goes up to eleven...


Yeah, I dare you to find someone too crazy or stupid for us!
 
2013-12-10 12:36:32 PM  
Before RTFA:

"Man, he's got some big pants to fill."

After TFA:

"That'll do, pig."
 
2013-12-10 12:36:38 PM  
He sounds like he would fit right in.  Is any of that crazier than the usual?
 
2013-12-10 12:37:01 PM  
Steve Stockman is proof that even brain damaged sea slugs can lead rich and fulfilling lives.
 
2013-12-10 12:37:23 PM  
Let me guess.  A talking, pickled head in a giant Mason jar?

/If this is a time-traveling Nixon trying to make a political comeback, I give him even money.
 
2013-12-10 12:38:06 PM  
Even the Derp is bigger in Texas.
 
2013-12-10 12:38:09 PM  
I think it is useful to point out he currently is a US congressman which means no, he is not too crazy to be elected in Texas.
 
2013-12-10 12:38:58 PM  

UberDave: Hey man, our crazy in this state goes up to eleven...


Louie Gohmert- exhibit A
Ted Cruz-exhibit B

need I go on?
 
2013-12-10 12:39:26 PM  
 "If babies had guns, they wouldn't be aborted."

Everyone, just take a minute to mentally picture what this would look like. Visualize a fetus wielding an assault rifle inside the womb.

I'm glad we could all share this moment.
 
2013-12-10 12:40:33 PM  
Oblig:

assets.nydailynews.com
 
2013-12-10 12:40:58 PM  
Ted Cruz has a coloring book full of lies for smaller, uneducated humans.

The derp in Texas goes higher than any of us can see.
 
2013-12-10 12:41:06 PM  
"Or the time he showed up at the airport to go to his sister's wedding wearing nothing but a speedo."

Still dressed better than half the people on the plane.

Seriously, everyone, let's go back to looking nice on airplanes. We will all feel better.
 
2013-12-10 12:41:54 PM  
Pat Roberts is getting challenged from the right as well. Apparently, calling for Sebelius's immediate resignation is insufficient opposition to Taxbongocare.
 
2013-12-10 12:44:03 PM  
"If babies had guns, husbands would masturbate in the shower*"

*a lot more than usual...if that's even possible
 
2013-12-10 12:44:07 PM  
If fetuses had guns they'd shoot your dick off when you try to screw your pregnant wife.
 
2013-12-10 12:44:09 PM  
Nothing is too crazy for Texas.  He will make Conyors jog right simply by being there and open the door for someone with a brain, hopefully.  Texas is not nearly as Red as people think.
 
2013-12-10 12:44:21 PM  
He sound pretty Republican. I don't mean the kind that run for president, I mean the base kind.

Seriously. Nothing outrageous there, just the usual stuff.
 
2013-12-10 12:45:17 PM  

Abner Doon: He sounds like he would fit right in.  Is any of that crazier than the usual?


Yeah after reading this he sounds about average.
 
2013-12-10 12:45:49 PM  

DeathBySmiley: "Or the time he showed up at the airport to go to his sister's wedding wearing nothing but a speedo."

Still dressed better than half the people on the plane.

Seriously, everyone, let's go back to looking nice on airplanes. We will all feel better.


you can go straight to hell sir. I will show up for my plane rides wearing pajama pants and flannel and fark anyone who doesn't like it
 
2013-12-10 12:48:02 PM  
Subby deserves a cockpunch for using the term "cray cray"
 
2013-12-10 12:49:19 PM  
If babies had guns, Caesarean sections would plummet.

You don't bring a scalpel to a gun fight.
 
2013-12-10 12:50:27 PM  
All of them?
 
2013-12-10 12:51:24 PM  

Warlordtrooper: Subby deserves a cockpunch for using the term "cray cray"


Totes.
 
2013-12-10 12:52:38 PM  
That sounds like a challenge. Personally, I don't think there is any amount of crazy that's too much for Texas to handle. They embrace and embiggen crazy.
 
2013-12-10 12:53:20 PM  
Stockman is by no means too crazy for Texas...he won his district with 71% of the vote in 2012. It's merely a question of whether Cornyn is still crazy enough for Texas, and he probably is.
 
2013-12-10 12:54:08 PM  
The crazier the talk, the better chance the money is already in the bank and it isn't from the local folk.
 
2013-12-10 12:54:13 PM  

sdd2000: UberDave: Hey man, our crazy in this state goes up to eleven...

Louie Gohmert- exhibit A
Ted Cruz-exhibit B

need I go on?


Louie Gohmert is pure evil.  Dumb as broken bricks, but just a nasty, nasty personality.  The other Texas Judge/Congressman, Ted Poe, is way to the right, and maybe ideologically the same, but about a thousand times better.
 
2013-12-10 12:54:22 PM  
Craig James?
 
2013-12-10 12:54:44 PM  

sdd2000: UberDave: Hey man, our crazy in this state goes up to eleven...

Louie Gohmert- exhibit A
Ted Cruz-exhibit B

need I go on?


There was a third one, but I forgot... oops.
 
2013-12-10 12:57:08 PM  

propasaurus: sdd2000: UberDave: Hey man, our crazy in this state goes up to eleven...

Louie Gohmert- exhibit A
Ted Cruz-exhibit B

need I go on?

There was a third one, but I forgot... oops.


The third one is not crazy, just amazingly stupid.
 
2013-12-10 12:59:00 PM  
If fetuses had guns, shooting ranges would be really strange.
 
2013-12-10 01:00:13 PM  

Warlordtrooper: Subby deserves a cockpunch for using the term "cray cray"


Word to your mother.
 
2013-12-10 01:00:45 PM  

Hiro Nakamura: Before RTFA:

"Man, he's got some big pants to fill."



Maybe that's why he invites Ted Nugent to his campaign events.
 
2013-12-10 01:01:12 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: If babies had guns, Caesarean sections would plummet.

You don't bring a scalpel to a gun fight.



heh
 
2013-12-10 01:03:27 PM  

Fart_Machine: Warlordtrooper: Subby deserves a cockpunch for using the term "cray cray"

Totes.


For realz, ya'll
 
2013-12-10 01:03:28 PM  

Fart_Machine: Warlordtrooper: Subby deserves a cockpunch for using the term "cray cray"

Totes.


img.fark.net
 
2013-12-10 01:04:06 PM  
If Fetus's had guns, Women would qualify for Arms Manufacturer Subsidies
 
2013-12-10 01:04:42 PM  
In an interview with WorldNetDaily, a birther website that once reported that President Obama had perhaps hidden his gay life in order to run for president, Stockman explained that he was entering the race because Cornyn had "undermined (Sen.) Ted Cruz's fight against Obamacare" and was guilty of "stabbing fellow Republicans in the back."


This tells me everything I need to know about today's Republican Party.
 
2013-12-10 01:08:52 PM  
But what if the baby with a gun is gay?
 
2013-12-10 01:09:13 PM  
If babies had guns, could pregnent women stand their ground?
What about the Castle Doctrine?
 
2013-12-10 01:12:21 PM  
"by Texas law, he can't run for re-election and seek a Senate seat at the same time. "

Okay, this is a law I can get behind.  This should apply to all national level offices.
 
2013-12-10 01:13:34 PM  

Lord_Baull: But what if the baby with a gun is gay?


That will have a way of working itself out.

/meta
 
2013-12-10 01:13:57 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Fart_Machine: Warlordtrooper: Subby deserves a cockpunch for using the term "cray cray"

Totes.

[img.fark.net image 652x367]


I'm really not sure why I love those commercials so much. But I do.
 
2013-12-10 01:14:16 PM  

brandent: I think it is useful to point out he currently is a US congressman which means no, he is not too crazy to be elected in Texas.


Being elected to the House just means there's a part of Texas that is that crazy. Who you put in the Senate reflects on the whole state.
 
2013-12-10 01:17:48 PM  

DeathBySmiley: "If babies had guns, they wouldn't be aborted."

Everyone, just take a minute to mentally picture what this would look like. Visualize a fetus wielding an assault rifle inside the womb.

I'm glad we could all share this moment.


Thank you for saying that. As one of the walking womb-ed, I have no mouth to speak.
 
2013-12-10 01:18:39 PM  
I'm sooooo glad that I left that shiat hole.

Tex-ass continually is an embarrassment to the rest of the country.

// Secede already, you bastards!
// And join 'em, Mobilehoma!
 
2013-12-10 01:19:34 PM  

grumpfuff: ecmoRandomNumbers: Fart_Machine: Warlordtrooper: Subby deserves a cockpunch for using the term "cray cray"

Totes.

[img.fark.net image 652x367]

I'm really not sure why I love those commercials so much. But I do.


I think it's the best ad campaign in years. I stop what I'm doing so I can watch them. I'm just waiting for them to add Morgan Freeman to the mix on a 3-way call or text, and my TV will explode from the awesomeness.
 
2013-12-10 01:19:55 PM  

Dansker: If babies had guns, could pregnent women stand their ground?
What about the Castle Doctrine?


headexplodes.gif
 
2013-12-10 01:20:00 PM  
This guy's District covers some of the most backwater woods of southeast Texas.  As a senator he has to get votes from more progressive Citys that won't put up with his brand of derp.  Although they put up with Cruz's brand of derp, which is pretty darn derpy.

/live just outside of his District
//stay well outside of his District
 
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