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(Info Wars)   Google Ceiling Cat is listening to you masturbate   (infowars.com) divider line 28
    More: Weird, Google  
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2492 clicks; posted to Geek » on 10 Dec 2013 at 9:09 AM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-10 09:12:13 AM
some people might...


many of us know better and have for some time.....


/ no cell phone
 
2013-12-10 09:19:26 AM
I don't often click through paranoia.com links. Even when I do, I'm almost never derp-starved enough to read the comments. But I was delighted to spot this one:

I don't think Alex and his team feel that google is really that bad. They use google analytics and google ads on the site.

So Alex, quit talking out of both sides of your mouth here. Stop using google analytics to track what users are doing on your site.


BUSTED!
 
2013-12-10 09:25:47 AM
Microchips in your head?

Fark that. Anybody that reads infowars has room for ENIAC in there.
 
ecl
2013-12-10 09:31:19 AM
ZOMG LAPTOPS HAVE MICROPHONES !111!!!!1111!!! SOMEONE CALL GLENN BECK ELEVNANDWUNS1!
 
2013-12-10 09:47:02 AM
I like how the headline is this:
Google Wants Microphones In Your Ceiling & Microchips In Your Head

When in reality, the story says that people in charge at Google :believe" that this will be the new trend, and they would like to be on board if so.
 
2013-12-10 09:52:11 AM
A lot of people seem to rage on Google however once you realise they're one of the (if not the) worlds largest advertising agencies things start to make sense.  They want you to use Android, Glass, their search engine, e-mail offering and so on because it feeds them more data.  With that data they can target you more specifically and show you better targeted adverts.

Honestly if you have a problem with Google doing this it would perhaps be better to not use anything Google provide rather than yell at them to cut their single revenue stream off; they're a company they exist to make money.

Personally I don't have a major problem with them doing this and thus:  Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X 10_9_0) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/31.0.1650.63 Safari/537.36 or Chrome v31 on OS X.
 
2013-12-10 09:55:55 AM
Ha... Who here didn't learn to whack it in total silence? Take that Google!
 
2013-12-10 09:57:00 AM

skozlaw: Microchips in your head?

Fark that. Anybody that reads infowars has room for ENIAC in there.


And.......WE have a winner.
 
2013-12-10 10:02:21 AM

Odoriferous Queef: skozlaw: Microchips in your head?

Fark that. Anybody that reads infowars has room for ENIAC in there.

And.......WE have a winner.


Pfft I thought he was being overly generous, I mean sure you could install ENIAC in there but what you going to do with the rest of the space?  Now personally I'd install a Memex and a whole library of microfiche, that way you've a really vintage system to go with their vintage thinking.
 
2013-12-10 10:57:50 AM
It can happen. After a week on the computer chair, the dried cumdrops start rattling together softly.
 
2013-12-10 11:03:06 AM

Vaneshi: Honestly if you have a problem with Google doing this it would perhaps be better to not use anything Google provide


This was the route I took.  It's not difficult.
 
2013-12-10 11:06:08 AM
Well yeah I trust ad agencies implicitly. Who wouldn't?
 
2013-12-10 12:26:21 PM

Strik3r: some people might...
many of us know better and have for some time.....
/ no cell phone


Awesome! You are so cool!

Flying Code Monkey: Vaneshi: Honestly if you have a problem with Google doing this it would perhaps be better to not use anything Google provide

This was the route I took.  It's not difficult.


Why?
I don't get this irrational need for ultimate privacy that people have.  Your lives are not that interesting! What is it that you people do that you think is so critical to your life? Does seeing an ad for a product you might like or use, really bother you that much? Pop on ad-block and be done with it. Your computer might be tracked in the vaguest sense, like Google Analytics, but nothing is going to come from it. Why would the NSA/CIA/FBI give a crap about your (more than likely) normal, crappy life? They wouldn't.

As for avoiding Google, "it's not difficult", yeah, right. Pretty much any major site nowdays has Google analytics at the least, not to mention social network embedding.
 
2013-12-10 12:50:43 PM

No Such Agency: Ha... Who here didn't learn to whack it in total silence? Take that Google!


Damn right. Sound was a luxury I didn't have:
i1.ytimg.com

I saw a nipple!
 
2013-12-10 01:14:51 PM

phimuskapsi: Strik3r: some people might...
many of us know better and have for some time.....
/ no cell phone

Awesome! You are so cool!

Flying Code Monkey: Vaneshi: Honestly if you have a problem with Google doing this it would perhaps be better to not use anything Google provide

This was the route I took.  It's not difficult.

Why?
I don't get this irrational need for ultimate privacy that people have.  Your lives are not that interesting! What is it that you people do that you think is so critical to your life? Does seeing an ad for a product you might like or use, really bother you that much? Pop on ad-block and be done with it. Your computer might be tracked in the vaguest sense, like Google Analytics, but nothing is going to come from it. Why would the NSA/CIA/FBI give a crap about your (more than likely) normal, crappy life? They wouldn't.

As for avoiding Google, "it's not difficult", yeah, right. Pretty much any major site nowdays has Google analytics at the least, not to mention social network embedding.



It's not "ultimate privacy". It's just privacy. I know, it's strange how some people want some........

Also, it's not about being cool. It's about making certain lifestyle choices to achieve the life you prefer. Of course there are limits to how far you can get "off the grid" and doing so is becoming increasingly difficult.

I am certainly aware that all online activity is being tracked, recorded, mined and sold by various groups. I highly doubt Google is the only organization doing this...............
 
2013-12-10 01:17:46 PM

phimuskapsi: Strik3r: some people might...
many of us know better and have for some time.....
/ no cell phone

Awesome! You are so cool!

Flying Code Monkey: Vaneshi: Honestly if you have a problem with Google doing this it would perhaps be better to not use anything Google provide

This was the route I took.  It's not difficult.

Why?
I don't get this irrational need for ultimate privacy that people have.  Your lives are not that interesting! What is it that you people do that you think is so critical to your life? Does seeing an ad for a product you might like or use, really bother you that much? Pop on ad-block and be done with it. Your computer might be tracked in the vaguest sense, like Google Analytics, but nothing is going to come from it. Why would the NSA/CIA/FBI give a crap about your (more than likely) normal, crappy life? They wouldn't.

As for avoiding Google, "it's not difficult", yeah, right. Pretty much any major site nowdays has Google analytics at the least, not to mention social network embedding.


We demand privacy, because if privacy is abolished, it will only be for the "little people". And those with the power and wealth to hide what they're doing will have another advantage against any arbitrary citizen they wish to discredit and ruin.
 
2013-12-10 01:33:19 PM

Vaneshi: They want you to use Android, Glass, their search engine, e-mail offering and so on because it feeds them more data. With that data they can target you more specifically and show you better targeted adverts.


Which I block, and I ignore the few that get through. And don't see on TV either since I don't own one or watch anybody else's. And it wouldn't make much difference anyway because I've got to live on $710 a month while having to pay $390 in rent and around $200 for ordinary monthly expenses like DSL/phone, natural gas ($30/mo. on the Budget Plan), water, sewer, electricity, and my monthly dues to the Socialist Party USA. There's also the minimum $25/mo. that gets automatically transferred to my savings account so I don't have to pay the bank to use my checking account, but which never adds up to much because there's always one expense or another I haven't planned for, or because living totally without credit means I have to save up for things that cost more than I can afford out of my monthly stipend (like taking the bus to the East Coast to visit my family for the first time in 5 years).

Then the ~$100 that's left goes for booze, paper towels & toilet paper, bus fare, used paperbacks, house cleaning supplies (that I don't use often enough), and the occasional pair of shoes or winter jacket. (Last month I got an insulated canvas jacket for $15, a size too big to fit over my insulated bib overalls; the dogs ain't allowed to walk themselves 15 miles a week.) I simply can't afford to buy those things that get heavily advertised on Google or TV; time and again I have to Google "ordinary, everyday" products you people mention as if they really matter that I've never heard of and have no use for. (And yes, I could live without booze if I wanted, but everybody is entitled to one vice, right?)

So forgive me if this issue strikes me as funny, on par with being "forced" to shop on Thanksgiving. In the first place most of those companies Google sells my data to would never hear from me, and in the second I'm simply amazed that y'all work so hard to make more money than I do only to behave as if some invisible vacuum cleaner sucks it all right away from you. For starters, why do people feel they need credit cards? Haven't you heard of savings accounts? The VISA logo on my ATM card can be a wonderful thing, but since it links to checking it's impossible to spend more than I have in the bank. (One month my liquor money went for overdraft and collection fees, so I went to the bank and made overspending impossible: never again will my lack of mental math force me into sobriety!)

Pro-tip: Google's clients can't sell you things you don't buy. Do you really need all those doodads and thingamajiggies? This computer is 13 years old, e.g., I've never owned or used an Xbox or Playstation, and it's been 11 years since I drove a car. You do realize it's possible to live on much less than most of you make? I can't help feeling a little sad for people who make five or 10 times what I do and struggle with a heavy debt load that nobody forced them to take on.

Yeah, you could blame Google for selling your data. Or you could structure your lives so the ads it gets them mean next to nothing to you. Just think, if more of you lived more simply Google might get as hard up as AOL. And you could still get drink every night and smirk and giggle at what the stupid people are up to now.
 
2013-12-10 01:54:11 PM
I can see these mics responding to televised dialog. Should get some pretty odd replies.
 
2013-12-10 02:05:30 PM

phimuskapsi: Why would the NSA/CIA/FBI give a crap about your (more than likely) normal, crappy life? They wouldn't.


Some people are not so boring. E.g., sometimes people even do things they don't know are illegal. And sometimes people know people who do things Big Brother shouldn't know about, things that you yourself don't know they do; if the security apparatuses think they can use your data to get to them they will. Imagine, some of you might completely unknowingly be only four degrees away from people who send out suicide bombers; do you want "the gestapo" questioning all your neighbors and coworkers about you? (What gets people qualified as "linked to Al Qaida" or organized crime or political subversion anyway?)

The Stalinists would commonly lock up or even kill the families or friend of the families of alleged "Trotsyites," on the theory that knowing or having heard of an "enemy of the people" meant they were guilty by implication and association. "How could your brother-in-law's uncle be a wrecker and you not know it? Surely you were hiding his guilt from us, you conspirator!" (And sometimes the charges were trumped up or over-extended so they could keep working people to death digging unnecessary canals, for example.)

I know, it sounds like a long shot. Nothing like that could ever happen here. Surely the IRS knows that your brother-in-law's uncle's conspiracy to evade taxes has nothing to do with you, nor does your wife's college roommate's son's meth lab. They'd never think to make trouble for you over stuff like that. And if they did ask all your neighbors and coworkers about you none of them could possibly have a grudge against you and make stuff up about you to tell them, could they. ("I saw them carrying in a Muslim prayer rug one day. It was rolled up but I knew what it was. And then I heard about that relative of theirs being caught with those terrorists in Somalia, well... I wouldn't go spreading gossip, but since The Government asked...")

Consider too that "police agencies" often make shiat up to justify their budgets and their payrolls. You saw that movie, right?

My life is now so boring that I can brag on Fark about being a member of the Socialist Party USA. It wasn't always like this, and in lo my many moons I've known a few people whose lives were much more interesting, but these days I fancy myself beneath suspicion. But should somebody have to live a boring, insignificant and empty life just to keep their heads down so The Man won't notice them? Should people restrict their social circles to people who would pass vetting to join the FBI? Is living the cave-newt way I do so wonderful that everyone should do it? That's the issue.
 
2013-12-10 02:08:05 PM
The One True TheDavid:

Smells like copy pasta but I can't quite place it.
 
2013-12-10 02:31:50 PM

phimuskapsi: I don't get this irrational need for ultimate privacy that people have.  Your lives are not that interesting! What is it that you people do that you think is so critical to your life? Does seeing an ad for a product you might like or use, really bother you that much? Pop on ad-block and be done with it. Your computer might be tracked in the vaguest sense, like Google Analytics, but nothing is going to come from it. Why would the NSA/CIA/FBI give a crap about your (more than likely) normal, crappy life? They wouldn't.

As for avoiding Google, "it's not difficult", yeah, right. Pretty much any major site nowdays has Google analytics at the least, not to mention social network embedding.


Not everyone wants their lives broadcast in detail.  If it got to the point that Google+ or Facebook auto posted links to your feed, would you be comfortable browsing for porn, or job searches (while already employed), or divorce lawyers, or anything?  If you're constantly watched, you self-censor - what a great way to ensure conformity.

Another reason is Google's advertising.  They can funnel your searches towards preferred advertisers (a.k.a. those who paid money), leaving an information gap.  Who pays the most isn't always the best.  If you want to look for a local pizza place, and the first page is all chains and one big local place, with other small businesses buried on page 4, you're not getting a decent snapshot of options.

There's also the thought that some people wish to have private conversations, period.  Maybe a company is working on a business proposal, maybe you wish to discuss your illness with your spouse, maybe you want to get into some really messed up roleplaying during sexy time, maybe you want to partake in substances in a questionable way in a safe environment.  Having someone eavesdrop on any of these can lead to legal issues.

Lastly, Google will sell your information to anyone willing to pay.  All those private conversations listed above? Can be sold to law enforcement, business rivals, insurance companies.

Perceiving ourselves as not interesting and a waste of resources, shows how little we value what we give to Google.  And we give them a lot.  No the NSA doesn't care what I post, but I'm sure someone else does.
 
2013-12-10 04:06:16 PM

No Such Agency: Ha... Who here didn't learn to whack it in total silence? Take that Google!


To whack it in total silence means you're a dry jerker.  And I never trust dry jerkers.  Most dry jerkers are usually serial killers.  Look it up.
 
2013-12-10 05:15:30 PM
farm4.static.flickr.com
Yeah, we know.
 
2013-12-10 08:11:13 PM
"Google engineering director Scott Huffman says that within five years people will have microphones attached to their ceilings and microchips embedded in their brains in order to perform quicker internet searches."

The problem with the people at Google, as well as other tech related companies, is that they spend upwards of 16-18 hours a day at work, surrounded by other tech geeks, and they forget that the rest of the world doesn't share that level of interest in stuff like that.
 
2013-12-10 10:57:26 PM

Duck_of_Doom: No the NSA doesn't care what I post, but I'm sure someone else does.


Your mom wants to know if you ever learned to tie your shoes.


/ Very drunk.
// Probably not very witty.
 
ecl
2013-12-10 11:24:41 PM

ReapTheChaos: "Google engineering director Scott Huffman says that within five years people will have microphones attached to their ceilings and microchips embedded in their brains in order to perform quicker internet searches."

The problem with the people at Google, as well as other tech related companies, is that they spend upwards of 16-18 hours a day at work, surrounded by other tech geeks, and they forget that the rest of the world doesn't share that level of interest in stuff like that.


It doesn't mean they aren't right though.
static.giantbomb.com
 
2013-12-11 01:57:20 AM

Strik3r: I am certainly aware that all online activity is being tracked, recorded, mined and sold by various groups. I highly doubt Google is the only organization doing this...............


If this is true how come I'm not getting spam offering me access to three way Japanese Midget Donkey shows? I am a demographic waiting to be exploited.
 
2013-12-11 01:36:30 PM

red5ish: Strik3r: I am certainly aware that all online activity is being tracked, recorded, mined and sold by various groups. I highly doubt Google is the only organization doing this...............

If this is true how come I'm not getting spam offering me access to three way Japanese Midget Donkey shows? I am a demographic waiting to be exploited.


If YOU want to see some results from this, you can turn on the "auto suggest" feature found on many search engines. Just because they haven't overtly used the information, doesn't mean is hasn't been captured. Data storage is pretty inexpensive these days.
 
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