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(NJ.com)   Man awakes from 10-hour sleep to discover knife buried five inches in his back   (nj.com) divider line 32
    More: Strange, knife  
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4664 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Dec 2013 at 8:45 PM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-09 08:48:48 PM
Was it Neil Peart?
 
2013-12-09 08:49:11 PM
www.gifcrap.com
 
2013-12-09 08:49:42 PM
Let me guess: alcohol was involved? *checks* Yep.
 
2013-12-09 08:53:59 PM
Well, he says it's five inches.  He's using his own erection as a reference, so the doc actually thinks it's more like an inch and a half.
 
2013-12-09 08:54:27 PM

DarkSoulNoHope: [www.gifcrap.com image 450x187]


Already leaving satisfied
 
2013-12-09 08:54:43 PM

DarkSoulNoHope: [www.gifcrap.com image 450x187]


first thing i thought of.
 
2013-12-09 08:57:37 PM
The victim had been drinking

There's a shocker.
 
2013-12-09 08:58:12 PM
Don't worry, he's still one of the Lord Marshall's best.
 
2013-12-09 09:00:24 PM
"While he smoked, another man approached the victim and asked for a light. The victim refused, and an argument ensued that escalated into a fistfight, police said."

Smokers seem to act entitled about stuff. Just because you ask for a light or a smoke means you're going to get it.
 
2013-12-09 09:04:09 PM
Uncooperative?

Translation: cops didn't buy his story.

/duh
 
2013-12-09 09:07:27 PM

Lord Howard Hurtz: Don't worry, he's still one of the Lord Marshall's best.


He's the best sailor on the HMS Pinafore.
 
2013-12-09 09:08:39 PM
Sometimes these things just happen.
 
2013-12-09 09:10:52 PM
The same thing happened to me, except it was a six inch pecker in my rear.
 
2013-12-09 09:12:31 PM

StoPPeRmobile: Uncooperative?

Translation: cops didn't buy his story.

/duh


Right, because the cops always believe you know the suspect very well and that there is no way an altercation could take place between two strangers, even if one is drunk.  Lou doesn't like doing real police work.

Pretty much if the hospital didn't require police involvement, it is a waste of time talking to them.  If you get assaulted and don't require medical attention, just go home and clean yourself up.  It will save you a hassle.
 
2013-12-09 09:16:47 PM
"sleep"
 
2013-12-09 09:20:17 PM
Some people can sleep through anything.
 
2013-12-09 09:30:20 PM

fusillade762: The victim had been drinking

There's a shocker.


That's why he got stabbed.
 
2013-12-09 09:31:04 PM
 
2013-12-09 10:06:13 PM

Baloo Uriza: Was it Neil Peart?


Please explain?
 
2013-12-09 10:13:09 PM

whatsYOURname: Baloo Uriza: Was it Neil Peart?

Please explain?


See the drummer thread.
 
2013-12-09 10:16:25 PM

Baloo Uriza: whatsYOURname: Baloo Uriza: Was it Neil Peart?

Please explain?

See the drummer thread.


shiat and I BELONG there too. Where is that dammit? I feel like a freshman on the first day.
 
2013-12-09 10:22:12 PM

whatsYOURname: Baloo Uriza: whatsYOURname: Baloo Uriza: Was it Neil Peart?

Please explain?

See the drummer thread.

shiat and I BELONG there too. Where is that dammit? I feel like a freshman on the first day.


Ohhhhhh ok I get it now. My mistake I thought it was going to be funny.
 
2013-12-09 11:26:07 PM
You know, I drink. A lot. Probably more than I should. But I have NEVER been so drunk that I wouldn't notice a knife sticking out of my back.
 
2013-12-09 11:32:13 PM
Bad back?  Dude, get a new matress.
 
2013-12-09 11:38:56 PM

fusillade762: You know, I drink. A lot. Probably more than I should. But I have NEVER been so drunk that I wouldn't notice a knife sticking out of my back.


You'd be surprised. I cut myself to the bone once with a razor. Didn't hurt till I washed my finger.
 
2013-12-09 11:49:32 PM
I once woke up after a 3 day drunk with a chunk of my thigh about the size of a grape missing.  It was already scabbed over and healed particularly quickly.  Still have a scar.  Nutso friends tell me it was aliens putting in or removing probes.  Guess they missed my ass.
 
2013-12-10 12:33:37 AM
I've never been stabbed, and I hope to keep that winning streak going. But interestingly enough a lot of people who've been stabbed describe it as feeling like being punched. It's really not uncommon for someone to only realize they've been stabbed when they see the blood.

Obviously being drunk doesn't help with that either.
 
2013-12-10 12:58:53 AM
damn, that must have been an awesome nap to sleep through that.
 
2013-12-10 01:50:42 AM
You call that a sleep knife?

static7.businessinsider.com
 
2013-12-10 09:15:52 AM
In New Jersey, "passed out, drunk" = "asleep for 10 hours".
 
2013-12-10 10:50:24 AM
So, I take it the guy doesn't sleep on his back, then?
 
2013-12-10 01:04:36 PM
On a different note, I saw in the sidebar that the waitress who set up that hoax claiming that she didn't get tipped because she was gay got fired from her waitress job.

/Biatch deserved that and more.
 
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