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(io9)   You're awesome and everyone else sucks monkey balls, all thanks to science   (io9.com) divider line 57
    More: Interesting, monkey balls, basic skills  
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6914 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Dec 2013 at 2:51 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



57 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-09 01:33:58 PM
Yeah that's all well and good but where is the article that explicitly states that I am great and why?

Guess i'll have to write it myself, in the style of someone else, otherwise it'll just sound arrogant.

Born to a noble dynasty, Slaxl could walk and read by 6 months, and by 12 months he had taught his 2 year old older brother how to do basic mathematics. He started school earlier than his peers and his monstrous intellect only grew while his ego remained in check. A glorious specimen of humanity Slaxl is both handsome and brave, once taking on two muggers at once when they tried to rob him of his cigarettes. Setting records in all fields, from academic to athletic, Slaxl will be remembered long after you are gone, and there already exists a statue to him on a plinth in central London, as perhaps one of London's most famous residents. Upon meeting Winston Churchill the great war time leader is known to have said "if I'd met you 5 years earlier we could have won the war in half the time!".

All of those facts are absolutely true, and if you think I'm lying well... shame on you for being so cynical, letting the internet make you so jaded like that.
 
2013-12-09 01:40:25 PM
The advantage of depression and a crushing inferiority complex is that I tend to be quite humble about things, I'm perhaps the most humble person on the planet.
 
2013-12-09 02:23:44 PM

i253.photobucket.com

You're awesome BECAUSE you suck monkey balls kid, and don't let your shrink tell you any differently!
 
2013-12-09 02:45:40 PM
Thanks subby, I've been telling everyone else this for years.  You're not as horrible as the rest of them.  But you're still not that good.
 
2013-12-09 02:52:32 PM
Damn, I'm good.
 
2013-12-09 02:54:40 PM
I'm only happy when it rains.
 
2013-12-09 02:55:51 PM

brap: [i253.photobucket.com image 329x500]You're awesome BECAUSE you suck monkey balls kid, and don't let your shrink tell you any differently!


The only thing funnier than chimps in people clothes is Whiplash the Rodeo Monkey.
 
2013-12-09 02:56:29 PM
You know, I used to curse the day I was born with a pair of monkey balls...
 
2013-12-09 02:57:57 PM
FIGJAM.
 
2013-12-09 02:59:29 PM
If I think this article doesn't really apply to me does that mean that the article definitely applies to me?
 
GBB [TotalFark]
2013-12-09 03:03:04 PM
Yes, I am.  And that song IS about me.
 
2013-12-09 03:03:11 PM
This is a problem for most people, but my ability to recognize my own faults is above average.
 
2013-12-09 03:05:25 PM
It doesn't really matter in most cases, if you aren't as good as you think you are at something. That's because "we" don't allow you to fail. You think you're better than 90% of drivers? That's fine. We've got antilock brakes and power steering and automatic transmissions and stability control. You're basically a passenger anyway. "We" make it very hard, for it to matter how bad you are, so you may as well be good.
Same with most professions. Most people cannot fail. They can all say they're the best, because they don't even matter enough for the claim to make sense.
 
2013-12-09 03:05:39 PM

MayoSlather: The advantage of depression and a crushing inferiority complex is that I tend to be quite humble about things, I'm perhaps the most humble person on the planet.


Nice. +1
 
2013-12-09 03:05:42 PM
Amazing how uninformative that article was.

I would have done it much better.

/and my above grammar faux pas has absolutely nothing to do with my being lazy about presenting my totally awesome grammar Nazi skillz. No sir.
 
2013-12-09 03:08:38 PM

rumpelstiltskin: It doesn't really matter in most cases, if you aren't as good as you think you are at something. That's because "we" don't allow you to fail. You think you're better than 90% of drivers? That's fine. We've got antilock brakes and power steering and automatic transmissions and stability control. You're basically a passenger anyway. "We" make it very hard, for it to matter how bad you are, so you may as well be good.
Same with most professions. Most people cannot fail. They can all say they're the best, because they don't even matter enough for the claim to make sense.


This makes no sense and really gives insight into your hangups.
 
2013-12-09 03:09:48 PM

Delta1212: This is a problem for most people, but my ability to recognize my own faults is above average.


I feel the same way. In fact I'm probably better at recognizing my own faults than anyone else.
 
2013-12-09 03:12:44 PM
I get to ride on the special bus.
 
2013-12-09 03:17:35 PM
I treat everyone as equals, which really pisses off narcissists.
 
2013-12-09 03:19:26 PM
floorsforflorida.files.wordpress.com
Also above average
 
2013-12-09 03:19:34 PM

uncleacid: I get to ride on the special bus.


You get to ride?

/Underneath with the luggage, sucking monkey balls.
 
2013-12-09 03:20:46 PM
Tell me more.
 
2013-12-09 03:21:44 PM
every time I see the "iO9" logo, I think it's a goofy radio station.

clearly this article was not written about me.
 
2013-12-09 03:22:26 PM
I don't think I'm awesome but I do think everyone else sucks monkey balls, so there's that.

I've always loved that Calvin and Hobbs where he thinks to himself:
"I hate my life! I hate everything! I wish I was dead!...wait, no I don't, I wish everyone else was dead."
 
2013-12-09 03:28:21 PM
I know I suck and am a complete piece of shiat.
 
2013-12-09 03:35:44 PM
Game's over, losers! I have all the money!! Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves!
 
2013-12-09 03:36:26 PM
I have proof.
 
2013-12-09 03:42:59 PM
Growing a little older has taught me one important thing--there's a strange sense of peace when you abandon that last shred of dignity.

It's very liberating to accept very low standards and the averageness that is me.  I've never been happier.
 
2013-12-09 03:52:18 PM
What an idiot.
You're all so stupid.
I rule.
 
2013-12-09 03:52:54 PM
Is this at all related to how in every fark thread about IQ, it is self-reported that every farker has an IQ in the 99.7th percentile or better? (but most casually believe it doesn't mean all that much, with a dismissive wave of the hand)
 
2013-12-09 03:58:31 PM
I know I am, Smitty.  It's about time the rest of you come to this realization.
 
2013-12-09 04:00:30 PM
There was about as much "science" in the article as there is on a toilet plunger, subby.
 
2013-12-09 04:02:34 PM
Everyone says that they are above average because being average just isn't good enough in our individualistic, competitive, douchebag culture.

I'd bet if they did this study in east Asia, being more conformist, most people would say that they are just average.
 
2013-12-09 04:23:31 PM
See, I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the curve.
 
2013-12-09 04:26:13 PM
I would hypothesize that it is mainly the people who describe the general culture/people/nation around them as "douchebag" that are like the article describes. They obviously, by their own admission, consider everyone around them inferior, and probably consider themselves above whatever generalization they are making.
 
2013-12-09 04:46:47 PM
Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way.
I can't wait to look in the mirror
'Cause I get better looking each day.
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble
But I'm doing the best that I can.
 
2013-12-09 04:47:31 PM
Meh. Sample bias. If you ask a group of race car drivers if they are above average, they will all answer yes - even though half come in the bottom 50% of the race. Does this mean they are delusional?

I say no, as by any rational measure, they are amazing drivers when compared against the pool of all drivers. Similarly, a group of Harvard professors who all say they are above average are also correct - at least when compared to all professors and not just the elite ones at ivy league universities.

In other words, despite this "study", I think most people are pretty good at self assessment. If they weren't, they would constantly fail at their job/life because they keep attempting things that are too much for them.

Remember: don't bite off more than you can chew -after all, a man's gotta know his limitations.
 
2013-12-09 04:54:56 PM

Private_Citizen: In other words, despite this "study", I think most people are pretty good at self assessment.


Dunning and Kruger would like a word.
 
2013-12-09 05:04:35 PM
I'm big where it matters
 
2013-12-09 05:08:16 PM

Private_Citizen: Meh. Sample bias. If you ask a group of race car drivers if they are above average, they will all answer yes - even though half come in the bottom 50% of the race. Does this mean they are delusional?


In the case of race car drivers? Yes, they are likely far worse than average if other people have equal access. Consider how many people get access to drive the cars, probably far less than one percent of the population. They likely aren't even average if they were competing on equal ground.
 
2013-12-09 05:30:30 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-09 05:37:22 PM

TofuTheAlmighty: Private_Citizen: In other words, despite this "study", I think most people are pretty good at self assessment.

Dunning and Kruger would like a word.


Even Dunning and Kruger found that the competent individuals were pretty good at self assessment. It's the clueless and the blowhards that overestimate their own skills.

That's why you sometimes see people talk their way into a job, then get let go soon after because they are in over their head.

If you see a person who's been at their job for a long time, odds are they are pretty good at it... or union.

/ducks!
 
2013-12-09 05:41:51 PM

Private_Citizen: Meh. Sample bias. If you ask a group of race car drivers if they are above average, they will all answer yes - even though half come in the bottom 50% of the race. Does this mean they are delusional?

I say no, as by any rational measure, they are amazing drivers when compared against the pool of all drivers. Similarly, a group of Harvard professors who all say they are above average are also correct - at least when compared to all professors and not just the elite ones at ivy league universities.

In other words, despite this "study", I think most people are pretty good at self assessment. If they weren't, they would constantly fail at their job/life because they keep attempting things that are too much for them.

Remember: don't bite off more than you can chew -after all, a man's gotta know his limitations.



Believing that a broad group of independent professional researchers have never considered or accounted for criticisms you came up with off the top of your head is a pretty good indication that you aren't taking your own advice.
 
2013-12-09 06:08:13 PM
Monkey balls
 
2013-12-09 06:10:43 PM
Well, I made it to old and fat, so I have that going for me, which is nice.
 
2013-12-09 06:20:06 PM
I thought it was "donkey balls." "Donkey balls" is funnier.
 
2013-12-09 06:26:02 PM

The Guitar Solo from Ride the Lightning: Private_Citizen: Meh. Sample bias. If you ask a group of race car drivers if they are above average, they will all answer yes - even though half come in the bottom 50% of the race. Does this mean they are delusional?

I say no, as by any rational measure, they are amazing drivers when compared against the pool of all drivers. Similarly, a group of Harvard professors who all say they are above average are also correct - at least when compared to all professors and not just the elite ones at ivy league universities.

In other words, despite this "study", I think most people are pretty good at self assessment. If they weren't, they would constantly fail at their job/life because they keep attempting things that are too much for them.

Remember: don't bite off more than you can chew -after all, a man's gotta know his limitations.


Believing that a broad group of independent professional researchers have never considered or accounted for criticisms you came up with off the top of your head is a pretty good indication that you aren't taking your own advice.


Come on, ad hominem attacks? You're better than that... or perhaps you aren't and you just don't know it!

/remember, even if 100% of people think they are above average - half are right!
 
2013-12-09 06:28:45 PM
img856.imageshack.us
 
2013-12-09 06:39:59 PM

Nick Nostril: [img856.imageshack.us image 750x600]


Thank you!
I was beginning to wonder.
 
2013-12-09 07:23:27 PM
That's *CAPTAIN* Awesome.

thetvchick.com
 
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