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(Daily Mail)   Aubrey and Matthew were just friends, but then she took a bullet to the knee. He accidentally shot her while deer hunting in his backyard and now they are in love - cue the banjo music   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 120
    More: Asinine, Audrey, Georgia Department of Natural Resources, Grateful Dead, Jane Doe  
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11347 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Dec 2013 at 4:07 AM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



120 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-08 09:11:12 PM
Her days of adventuring are over.
 
2013-12-08 09:14:50 PM
That's lame

/now, anyway
 
2013-12-08 09:16:01 PM
He got to penetrate her before their first date. She's a keeper.
 
2013-12-08 11:50:51 PM
Wow, that story is so full of win....

FTFA: Friends Aubrey Mayo, 24, and Matthew Tyler Webb, 23, were spending time together on the roof of Webb's mothers home at 910 Hillsdale road on November 21 when Webb saw a pack of deer across the street and decided to hunt them down

Off to a great start from the get-go, who hasn't been chillin' on the roof when the desire to kill some animals just overwhelmed them?

FTFA: He simply heard rustling and saw a bit of movement behind the trees. He shot. She fell down.

Of course, it's always best to shoot first and ask questions later.

FTFA:He could be charged with failing to wear orange, a hunting license violation, and misuse of a firearm. Webb also confessed to taking several drugs on the day of the incident.

He was on drugs?  This is starting to make more sense now...

FTFA:  Audrey seems to have a sense of humor about the incident. She told reporters that she wants to make a necklace with the bullet that shot her.
Audrey's brother suggested that his sister get a tattoo of a deer with her hospital name 'Jane Doe' across it.


Of course...
 
2013-12-09 12:02:14 AM
And if they marry, the rest of his life will be about the wounded knee Mrs. care
 
2013-12-09 12:18:15 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: And if they marry, the rest of his life will be about the wounded knee Mrs. care


The title of Mrs. Wounded Knee has gone to the Indians for too long.
 
2013-12-09 03:47:22 AM
WTF is wrong with people?
 
2013-12-09 04:15:41 AM
Love, American Darwinism style!
 
2013-12-09 04:20:33 AM
They both love the Grateful Dead, and Audrey's family is grateful she's alive

Now that's one hell of a coincidence!!!!!!

/Like how the story is tagged with the Grateful Dead.
 
2013-12-09 04:22:01 AM
abovethelaw.com
 
2013-12-09 04:22:51 AM
Hunting's a legit shared hobby, and anyone that hunts has already pretty much accepted the risk of potentially getting winged by a stray bullet.

This is why this isn't particularly strange, and also why the dude Cheney shot in the face apologized to him (field-fowl are hunted in a line, breaking the line is putting yourself in danger by standing in what's supposed to be a clear line of fire), since that got brought up a few threads back and it seems like some people legitimately don't understand that hunters are as aware of the risk of injury as anyone in any physical hobby.
 
2013-12-09 04:26:25 AM
Between the poaching, the blatant lack of firearm safety, and the drug use earlier in the day, it sure looks like she picked a winner! There's a solid chance he'll go to jail for a violation like this, so maybe she'll reconsider the decision while they're apart and she's undergoing painful rehabilitation.
 
2013-12-09 04:28:15 AM
DERP DYNASTY
 
2013-12-09 04:33:42 AM

Mitrovarr: Between the poaching,


He was cited for failure to wear orange, so he must have had a license (that being a license violation).  Therefore, not poaching.

Can't disagree about failing at firearm safety, though.
 
2013-12-09 04:38:31 AM

Jim_Callahan: He was cited for failure to wear orange, so he must have had a license (that being a license violation). Therefore, not poaching.


I am guessing that firing a gun within 150 ft. of a road is a hunting violation as well as a general one. Plus, I kind of suspect that the story given (oh, there's some deer, let's go shoot them) means he was probably outside of his proper zone, if he was in a hunting zone at all.
 
2013-12-09 04:39:26 AM
cupid + gun + google images = LOL
 
2013-12-09 04:49:57 AM
www.curiousinkling.com
 
2013-12-09 04:50:43 AM
So getting shot in the knee by an animal killing drug addict will make the excruciating pain of being single go away.

Thanks fark!
 
2013-12-09 04:52:03 AM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-09 05:03:52 AM
Listen, if you damage my daughter by shooting her in the knee, damn sure you're going to marry her.

You break it, you buy it.
 
2013-12-09 05:22:55 AM
I tend to think that shooting someone is more of a second date thing.
 
2013-12-09 05:25:23 AM

Mitrovarr: There's a solid chance he'll go to jail for a violation like this, so maybe she'll reconsider the decision while they're apart and she's undergoing painful rehabilitation.


That's okay. Once she loses that leg it will be more difficult to exercise and she'll get as big as a house.
 
2013-12-09 05:32:15 AM
Well, after consulting Google Earth, I am surprised to say that it isn't a trailer. But, the only
"Across the street" they would have a view of would be a recreation area of 4 Softball fields and
the parking lot. This is all taking place in a semi-rural,but still well inhabited area where a miss could
easily kill someone. The background for firing a weapon is hardly what any hunting safety instructor
would call safe in that direction..There are houses all around "across the street" from that location.
I know this would be almost considered Cruel and Unusual Punishment in the south, but anyone
that fires a weapon that haphazardly,in a park, while on drugs, should never be allowed a hunting permit again.
 
2013-12-09 05:52:13 AM
Apparently the names Aubrey and Audrey are interchangeable as the article goes back and forth between them.  They are destined for great things I tell ya.
 
2013-12-09 05:58:03 AM

EmmaLou: WTF is wrong with people?


I don't think Fark allows posts that long...
 
2013-12-09 06:00:10 AM

Fear the Clam: Mitrovarr: There's a solid chance he'll go to jail for a violation like this, so maybe she'll reconsider the decision while they're apart and she's undergoing painful rehabilitation.

That's okay. Once she loses that leg it will be more difficult to exercise and she'll get as big as a house run away.


/which is why she is marrying him...
 
2013-12-09 06:10:10 AM
Nothing quite breaks the ice like a thiry-aught round.
 
2013-12-09 06:14:09 AM

Bareefer Obonghit: MaudlinMutantMollusk: And if they marry, the rest of his life will be about the wounded knee Mrs. care

The title of Mrs. Wounded Knee has gone to the Indians for too long.


Rebecca Liddicoat Griffin.
 
2013-12-09 06:17:52 AM
I dunno. Clearly the dude made a lot of mistakes. But a life sentence seems too harsh.
 
2013-12-09 06:22:12 AM
Jesus, even for the Daily Fail, that was a poorly-written article.
 
2013-12-09 06:28:58 AM

SouthParkCon:


no lolly gagging!
 
2013-12-09 06:34:05 AM
Friends Aubrey Mayo, 24, and Matthew Tyler Webb, 23, were spending time together on the roof of Webb's mothers home at 910 Hillsdale road on November 21 when Webb saw a pack of deer across the street and decided to hunt them down

I could call my Ma while I'm up here!
 
2013-12-09 06:39:52 AM
Fark, you make me sad. Is there nobody here who sees what I see?

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-12-09 06:43:49 AM
Aubrey and Matthew sittin' in a tree,
putting bandages on her knee.
First comes love, then comes mariage.
Then comes Aubrey with a tragic miscarriage!

Next comes shame, followed by blame.
Then the lawyers get in the game.
Aubrey and Matthew as sad as can be,
D-I-V-O-R-C-E!

/Burma Shave.
//*takes meds*
///*eye twitch*
 
2013-12-09 06:58:07 AM

casual disregard: Fark, you make me sad. Is there nobody here who sees what I see?

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x589]


Small A cup and crazy eyes?
 
2013-12-09 07:00:45 AM

casual disregard: Fark, you make me sad. Is there nobody here who sees what I see?


Will it cause us to shiat bricks? Or is it just amusing to a small subset of people?
 
2013-12-09 07:09:24 AM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-09 07:10:18 AM

SumJackass07: casual disregard: Fark, you make me sad. Is there nobody here who sees what I see?

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x589]

Small A cup and crazy eyes?


Small A cup? Do you regularly experience difficulty estimating measurements? Lefty there is practically flopping out,

/crazy eyes not contested
 
2013-12-09 07:13:05 AM

HooskerDoo: [img.fark.net image 560x388]


Every time I see that picture, I swear to God that the girl on the left has a Swastika tattoo.
 
2013-12-09 07:15:03 AM
F**kin' picnic apes.
 
2013-12-09 07:17:02 AM
'Cupid doesn't use a bow and arrow anymore,' said 30-year-old Jesse Greer, Mayo's brother-in-law. 'He uses an SKS' rifle.

Had to double check and make sure I wasn't reading the onion.
 
2013-12-09 07:17:37 AM
Just shoot at anything that moves!
 
GBB
2013-12-09 07:28:01 AM
While it should have been a better shot and got him in the head.
And they were all in love with dying, they were drinking from a fountain
that was flowing like an avalanche coming down the mountain.
 
2013-12-09 07:32:27 AM

casual disregard: SumJackass07: casual disregard: Fark, you make me sad. Is there nobody here who sees what I see?

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x589]

Small A cup and crazy eyes?

Small A cup? Do you regularly experience difficulty estimating measurements? Lefty there is practically flopping out,

/crazy eyes not contested


Almost  falling filling out a loosely tied small triangle bikini top, while she's bending close to halfway over. I'd put her wearing a 34A top with a touch more than 32A.

/Sounds like further study is required to answer this important question.
 
2013-12-09 07:41:48 AM
Mr. Shabooboo: But, the only "Across the street" they would have a view of would be a recreation area of 4 Softball fields and the parking lot.

Actually that might have something to do with it potentially being legal to shoot the deer.  Deer wandering into non-wilderness lands can often be killed as a nuisance/vermin, without a permit.  And with a permit, the main difficulty legally in hunting is usually finding a place you can ambush or stalk the things without trespassing (most hunters use leased land and set up stationary blinds).

Apart from actual prohibited areas (within 150 feet of a highway, apparently) and areas actually zoned municipal-residential or with an incompatible public use, you can actually wander out and shoot a deer in some pretty random places.  There being a house every couple miles or whatever doesn't necessarily make it illegal, especially since the usual way to hunt deer is to use an elevated position and a set of pre-arranged shots with clear vision, which gives you a backstop literally the size of the planet and sort of minimizes these kinds of shenanegans.

This is also why hunters wear orange, so random hikers out wandering around and such can see them.  It's not for the benefit of the hunters themselves (though it  is beneficial to them and most would do it anyhow).  Hunting frequently occurs in shared public space.

// My parents retired to a subdivision-style place that's infested with bloody mule deer.  They keep trying to get the community to hire a couple hunters to thin the population by a factor of ten or so, but most of the residents are urban expatriates so they'd apparently rather deal with four or five people killed a year in car wrecks with the farkin' things.
 
2013-12-09 07:44:12 AM
Why was her hospital name 'Jane Doe'? Didn't the dude know her real name? Presumably he would have bee. Able to communicate that to paramedics or the hospital.
 
2013-12-09 07:51:08 AM
FTA: Webb didn't hear Mayo calling his name. He simply heard rustling and saw a bit of movement behind the trees.
He shot. She fell down.


People this stupid with guns need to have their index fingers amputated and branded on their forehead with a large mark that indicates that this person is a farking moron who should never be allowed to touch a firearm.
 
2013-12-09 07:59:33 AM

Befuddled: FTA: Webb didn't hear Mayo calling his name. He simply heard rustling and saw a bit of movement behind the trees.
He shot. She fell down.

People this stupid with guns need to have their index fingers amputated and branded on their forehead with a large mark that indicates that this person is a farking moron who should never be allowed to touch a firearm.


You think having some idea what you are shooting at is an important part of gun safety?

Guns don't kill people, idiots do.
 
2013-12-09 08:04:14 AM
Came for the Skyrim references.  Left happy.
 
2013-12-09 08:07:59 AM
Lemme get this straight,... Jackhole goes "across the street" to hunt...  Jackhole hears movement in the brush and shoots?  Even if it turned out to be a deer instead of his future ex-wife, he didn't have his eyes on his target, and couldn't have made a clean kill. That alone tells me that he's less a "hunter" and more the "kid with a BB gun and an attitude" type... He should have his license revoked and his arms confiscated.   I'm pretty far from a "gun grabber", but morans like this just make it more difficult for the rest of us.
 
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