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(National Post)   Thirteen years ago the Canadian government planted the Millennium Tree, a genetically engineered testament to Canada's scientific leadership. Today it's the tree from A Charlie Brown Christmas   (news.nationalpost.com) divider line 56
    More: Followup, Millennium Tree, Parliament Hill, Canadians, Canadian government, Conservative MPs, planting, evergreens, national capitals  
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8191 clicks; posted to Geek » on 08 Dec 2013 at 8:31 AM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-08 04:47:54 AM
Fail tag collapse from the snow, subby?
 
2013-12-08 07:36:43 AM

themindiswatching: Fail tag collapse from the snow, subby?


Hopefully it's really good at quantum relativistic theory...I mean when it starts talking of course!
 
2013-12-08 08:35:18 AM
MUTANTS on Parliament Hill! It's the End Times!
 
2013-12-08 08:39:41 AM
Stop feeding it Slurpees, America's Hat.
 
2013-12-08 08:46:48 AM

GoodyearPimp: Stop feeding it Slurpees, America's Hat.


What would you recommend, Brawndo?  Canada's underpants.
 
2013-12-08 08:55:38 AM
Plants need this rather unusual thing known as light to survive.

"Protecting" this plant under solid panels of plywood for five months out of the year is probably doing more to harm it than just leaving it exposed.
 
2013-12-08 08:56:23 AM
Well then that means that if you put a couple of bulbs on it it will green out like mad and look like a beautiful tree in two seconds.
 
2013-12-08 08:58:09 AM
"...planted in the shadow of  ..."

Found yer problem right there.....
 
2013-12-08 09:05:21 AM
A smart gardener would plant a bunch of seeds in a greenhouse first and select the one that seemed to be growing best before planting it. Plant genetics are highly diverse and there is no telling if you'll get a winner from any one particular seed.

A proper analysis of the soil surrounding the site you're planting your tree wouldn't be a terrible idea either if you're going to be planting it as a testament to modern science.

/sounds like to much work for government though.
 
2013-12-08 09:05:23 AM

HighlanderRPI: "...planted in the shadow of  ..."

Found yer problem right there.....


...but it was genetically crossed with a fungus.  They buried 20 hobos with the sapling.  It should be 20 feet tall and setting snares to snag passer-bys to sustain that growth.
 
2013-12-08 09:35:15 AM
selective breeding =/= GMO
 
2013-12-08 09:47:38 AM
This symbolizes Canada very well IMO. This country is a joke. My province is a festering sore and Montreal is a dump.
 
2013-12-08 10:12:06 AM
Just bring in that nutty Alabama fan, say that it is from the Canadian version of Auburn and put it out of its misery.
 
2013-12-08 10:24:10 AM

fluffy2097: A smart gardener would plant a bunch of seeds in a greenhouse first and select the one that seemed to be growing best before planting it. Plant genetics are highly diverse and there is no telling if you'll get a winner from any one particular seed.

A proper analysis of the soil surrounding the site you're planting your tree wouldn't be a terrible idea either if you're going to be planting it as a testament to modern science.

/sounds like to much work for government though.


As far as I've been able to tell, the Canadian government consists of fat, bitter, self-entitled, middle-aged women who could all be replaced by a few short Perl scripts save for the fact that they're protected by a relatively powerful union.
 
2013-12-08 10:42:18 AM
baconbeard:
As far as I've been able to tell, the Canadian government consists of fat, bitter, self-entitled, middle-aged women who could all be replaced by a few short Perl scripts save for the fact that they're protected by a relatively powerful union.

Meanwhile, the Perl scripts in the US are nonunion.

/they're programmed to say "herp" and "derp"
 
2013-12-08 10:43:45 AM
and i wonder what i can't do jack-chet with my doctorate in plant genomics. thanks canada, you've made plant breeders look like ineffective windbags.
 
2013-12-08 10:45:17 AM

Mister Peejay: baconbeard:
As far as I've been able to tell, the Canadian government consists of fat, bitter, self-entitled, middle-aged women who could all be replaced by a few short Perl scripts save for the fact that they're protected by a relatively powerful union.

Meanwhile, the Perl scripts in the US are nonunion.

/they're programmed to say "herp" and "derp"


use diagnostics; # forchrissake.
use strict; # jackass!
 
2013-12-08 10:47:42 AM

fluffy2097: A proper analysis of the soil surrounding the site you're planting your tree wouldn't be a terrible idea either if you're going to be planting it as a testament to modern science.

soil science? important to agronomy?

why, i. don't even...
 
2013-12-08 10:49:23 AM
I wonder how many times some drunk canuck has pissed on that poor thing...
 
2013-12-08 11:01:24 AM

baconbeard: As far as I've been able to tell, the Canadian government consists of fat, bitter, self-entitled, middle-aged..


...crack-addicted, red-faced, drunk mayors.
 
2013-12-08 11:33:53 AM

utah dude: and i wonder what i can't do jack-chet with my doctorate in plant genomics. thanks canada, you've made plant breeders look like ineffective windbags.


Maybe you should take a freshman English class at your local community college.
 
2013-12-08 11:45:12 AM

fluffy2097: A smart gardener would plant a bunch of seeds in a greenhouse first and select the one that seemed to be growing best before planting it. Plant genetics are highly diverse and there is no telling if you'll get a winner from any one particular seed.

A proper analysis of the soil surrounding the site you're planting your tree wouldn't be a terrible idea either if you're going to be planting it as a testament to modern science.

/sounds like to much work for government though.


Your bold is so very, very wrong. If I have DNA, I can predict performance to some degree of accuracy with genetic markers. Not like...Gattaca accurate, but accurate enough.

But yeah, the soil there is probably absolute shiat. They didn't manage it properly, etc. Even Ussain bolt doesn't do so well if you chop off his legs and make him go for a run.
 
2013-12-08 11:56:31 AM

fluffy2097: A smart gardener would plant a bunch of seeds in a greenhouse first and select the one that seemed to be growing best before planting it. Plant genetics are highly diverse and there is no telling if you'll get a winner from any one particular seed.

A proper analysis of the soil surrounding the site you're planting your tree wouldn't be a terrible idea either if you're going to be planting it as a testament to modern science.

/sounds like to much work for government though.


It's on Parliament Hill. It has to be almost drowning in shiat at this point, there's no need for fertilizer or fancy soil condition tests.
 
2013-12-08 11:58:29 AM

fluffy2097: A smart gardener would plant a bunch of seeds in a greenhouse first and select the one that seemed to be growing best before planting it. Plant genetics are highly diverse and there is no telling if you'll get a winner from any one particular seed.

A proper analysis of the soil surrounding the site you're planting your tree wouldn't be a terrible idea either if you're going to be planting it as a testament to modern science.

/sounds like to much work for government though.


Maybe they did.
 
2013-12-08 12:16:52 PM
Whew, that was a close one. From the way the headline read, I was afraid it had mutated into one of those aluminum looking ones.
 
2013-12-08 12:27:25 PM

fluffy2097: A smart gardener would plant a bunch of seeds in a greenhouse first and select the one that seemed to be growing best before planting it. Plant genetics are highly diverse and there is no telling if you'll get a winner from any one particular seed.

A proper analysis of the soil surrounding the site you're planting your tree wouldn't be a terrible idea either if you're going to be planting it as a testament to modern science.

/sounds like to much work for government though.


Did you read the article? It was a clone.
 
2013-12-08 12:31:21 PM
HaHa... The bestous thing to see is those propaganda signs for reforested areas that can be easily seen from the highways. 'Planted in 1980', but a 30 year old tree should be really big and not just 15 feet tall at 6 inches thick.

/If reforestation isn't easily viewable by the public, its a success.
//Clearcuts are limited to a certain acreage, so they leave a 300 foot wide forest between clearcuts. Brilliant!.
 
2013-12-08 12:31:33 PM
All they need to do is get a bunch of kids to wave their hands over it, and it should be better.

/"goodbye lesbians"
 
2013-12-08 12:38:14 PM

baconbeard: fluffy2097: A smart gardener would plant a bunch of seeds in a greenhouse first and select the one that seemed to be growing best before planting it. Plant genetics are highly diverse and there is no telling if you'll get a winner from any one particular seed.

A proper analysis of the soil surrounding the site you're planting your tree wouldn't be a terrible idea either if you're going to be planting it as a testament to modern science.

/sounds like to much work for government though.

As far as I've been able to tell, the Canadian government consists of fat, bitter, self-entitled, middle-aged women who could all be replaced by a few short Perl scripts save for the fact that they're protected by a relatively powerful union.


This! Not to mention this is totally a definite example of Canada's science policy since the shiatty garbage coont stain of a prime minister took over.
 
2013-12-08 01:00:14 PM

Hollie Maea: fluffy2097: A smart gardener would plant a bunch of seeds in a greenhouse first and select the one that seemed to be growing best before planting it. Plant genetics are highly diverse and there is no telling if you'll get a winner from any one particular seed.

A proper analysis of the soil surrounding the site you're planting your tree wouldn't be a terrible idea either if you're going to be planting it as a testament to modern science.

/sounds like to much work for government though.

Did you read the article? It was a clone.


This makes it more likely it's an environment thing.
 
2013-12-08 01:15:59 PM

fluffy2097: A smart gardener would plant a bunch of seeds in a greenhouse first and select the one that seemed to be growing best before planting it. Plant genetics are highly diverse and there is no telling if you'll get a winner from any one particular seed.

A proper analysis of the soil surrounding the site you're planting your tree wouldn't be a terrible idea either if you're going to be planting it as a testament to modern science.

/sounds like to much work for government though.


It's a clone.
 
2013-12-08 01:23:58 PM
Just pick a stronger specimen and have your staff sneak out one night to replace the thing. That's how we'd handle this sort of embarrassment in 'murica. That or a sudden need to erect a new structure on that very spot, so whattayagonnado?
 
2013-12-08 01:24:18 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: This symbolizes Canada very well IMO. This country is a joke. My province is a festering sore and Montreal is a dump.


Please leave.
 
2013-12-08 01:28:05 PM
if it is a clone, one of thousands distributed and sold and used to reforest many areas.....

how are the rest of them doing?
 
2013-12-08 01:31:38 PM

Cerebral Knievel: if it is a clone, one of thousands distributed and sold and used to reforest many areas.....

how are the rest of them doing?


a multi-location field trial? in my vagina? (it's more common than you think.)
 
2013-12-08 01:32:47 PM

StoPPeRmobile: utah dude: and i wonder what i can't do jack-chet with my doctorate in plant genomics. thanks canada, you've made plant breeders look like ineffective windbags.

Maybe you should take a freshman English class at your local community college.


georgia's in florida, dumbass.
 
2013-12-08 01:43:05 PM
FTFA: Of course, it has not stopped passersby from pelting the tree with empty Tim Horton's cups.

Truly Canadian:  The part that you're supposed to find the most abhorrent about this whole episode is that his tree is so ugly that it's driven Canadians to litter.  Litter, I tells ya!
 
2013-12-08 02:08:22 PM
"If this represents our science at its best, no wonder the Harper government is muzzling our scientists,"

Zing.
 
2013-12-08 02:44:59 PM
Tina, bring me the axe!!

2.bp.blogspot.com

/hot!
 
2013-12-08 02:58:34 PM

Skunkwolf: Quantum Apostrophe: This symbolizes Canada very well IMO. This country is a joke. My province is a festering sore and Montreal is a dump.

Please leave.


Working on it. Maybe you're all excited to live in an over-taxed conservative Chinese open-air mine. I've had it with this country and specifically Montreal. What an expensive, boring, dull, grey corrupt festering excuse for a city.
 
2013-12-08 03:03:50 PM

Skunkwolf: Quantum Apostrophe: This symbolizes Canada very well IMO. This country is a joke. My province is a festering sore and Montreal is a dump.

Please leave.


He's from Quebec. "This country" of his doesn't extend past the provincial borders.
 
2013-12-08 03:52:12 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Skunkwolf: Quantum Apostrophe: This symbolizes Canada very well IMO. This country is a joke. My province is a festering sore and Montreal is a dump.

Please leave.

Working on it. Maybe you're all excited to live in an over-taxed conservative Chinese open-air mine. I've had it with this country and specifically Montreal. What an expensive, boring, dull, grey corrupt festering excuse for a city.


America is closed.  Find somewhere else to whine.

/I like Canada
//I'd move to Canada if I could
///I'm only a couple hundred miles from its border, so that'll have to be close enough for now!
 
2013-12-08 04:05:41 PM
Let's not take a tree, no matter its pedigree, as being the symbol of all that's right or wrong with a country.  That would be akin to deciding if life is worth living by whether my Timmies order was properly filled.

/hint: I'd be very depressed if this was the case because there are some very special employees at the Tim Hortons I go to.

//Never gonna give this country up.
 
2013-12-08 04:42:12 PM

Kinek: fluffy2097: A smart gardener would plant a bunch of seeds in a greenhouse first and select the one that seemed to be growing best before planting it. Plant genetics are highly diverse and there is no telling if you'll get a winner from any one particular seed.

A proper analysis of the soil surrounding the site you're planting your tree wouldn't be a terrible idea either if you're going to be planting it as a testament to modern science.

/sounds like to much work for government though.

Your bold is so very, very wrong. If I have DNA, I can predict performance to some degree of accuracy with genetic markers. Not like...Gattaca accurate, but accurate enough.

But yeah, the soil there is probably absolute shiat. They didn't manage it properly, etc. Even Ussain bolt doesn't do so well if you chop off his legs and make him go for a run.


Having no legs is not an impediment, if you put the right amount of pressure on it.
 
2013-12-08 05:56:50 PM

Arctic Phoenix: /I like Canada
//I'd move to Canada if I could


Nice place to visit, you wouldn't want to live here. Why would I go to the US? Seems to be the home of the biggest quivering pussies on the face of the Earth.

Paranoid armed nutters that see danger everywhere? No thanks.

Europe is more like it.

hitmanric: Skunkwolf: Quantum Apostrophe: This symbolizes Canada very well IMO. This country is a joke. My province is a festering sore and Montreal is a dump.

Please leave.

He's from Quebec. "This country" of his doesn't extend past the provincial borders.


Not too good at that there readin eh? Don't blame me for the ridiculous way this province operates. It's a banana republic without the nice weather.
 
2013-12-08 08:27:39 PM

Fooby: Plants need this rather unusual thing known as light to survive.

"Protecting" this plant under solid panels of plywood for five months out of the year is probably doing more to harm it than just leaving it exposed.


Trees live in forests.

Forests don't let as much light in as open areas.

Therefore trees can't live in forests.

/Logic!
 
2013-12-08 09:13:28 PM

BumpInTheNight: GoodyearPimp: Stop feeding it Slurpees, America's Hat.

What would you recommend, Brawndo?  Canada's underpants.


Ha! It's well-known that Canada goes commando.
 
2013-12-08 09:45:08 PM

Fooby: Plants need this rather unusual thing known as light to survive.

"Protecting" this plant under solid panels of plywood for five months out of the year is probably doing more to harm it than just leaving it exposed.


I didn't bother to read the rest of the thread first. Protecting an evergreen from the sun and snow is pants-on-head retarded. I blame Harper, because I can. I also blame the Liberal Party. The NDP also sucks. The Green Party is irrelevent now that the "shiat disturber" funding law is dead. shiat.
 
2013-12-08 10:14:19 PM
At least it's sincere.
 
2013-12-08 10:32:23 PM

Skunkwolf: Quantum Apostrophe: This symbolizes Canada very well IMO. This country is a joke. My province is a festering sore and Montreal is a dump.

Please leave.


He's going to need a list of countries with no 3D printers and no space program.
 
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