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(Des Moines Register)   Woman breaking into home has her burglary attempt aborted after stepping onto an antique scythe blade. Sometimes, you reap what you sow   (blogs.desmoinesregister.com) divider line 58
    More: Dumbass, burglary, Mercy Medical Center  
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6911 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2013 at 8:05 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



58 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-07 06:23:37 PM
Uh, subs...the burglars were male, and since they got away with a wallet, two cell phones and a jewelry box, the theft wasn't aborted. The woman was the owner of the house and the traitorous scythe blade.
 
2013-12-07 06:54:24 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-07 06:55:41 PM
Do you guys even click the submitted articles any more?
 
2013-12-07 07:10:26 PM
FTA: "He asked the suspects what they were doing and they demanded to know "where the dope was,"

He's busy submitting articles with inaccurate headlines.
 
2013-12-07 07:38:53 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-07 08:07:06 PM
the woman stepped on an antique scythe blade that was leaned against a dresser, causing a deep laceration to the bottom of her foot.

What the...? Does she live in the Addams Family house or something?
 
2013-12-07 08:09:16 PM
You totaldweeb idiots pay to filter this type of shiat for me. GBTW
 
2013-12-07 08:09:28 PM
Sounds pretty grim.
 
2013-12-07 08:10:48 PM
Subby is a dumbass and the admins should have just rejected this article, given that subby is a dumbass.

His ass is dumb.
 
2013-12-07 08:10:52 PM
"One suspect is described as 35-years-old "

Strangely specific for someone they say they don't know... Pretty sure most decent people don't have people breaking in asking where the drugs are and have scythe blades laying around.
 
2013-12-07 08:11:23 PM
reading comprehension, subby. Do you even
 
2013-12-07 08:11:40 PM

vodka: You totaldweeb idiots pay to filter this type of shiat for me. GBTW


I'm seriously considering that they aren't paying enough.  Quality has been slipping for months now, just last week I saw what was definitely a repeat from another link from two years ago.  I shiat you not, I almost lost it and one of them will be getting my keyboard replacement bill.
 
2013-12-07 08:13:49 PM

no clever name here just move along: reading comprehension, subby. Do you even


I don't think so. I think Subby just caughtsayof.
 
2013-12-07 08:13:52 PM

LeilaK: Uh, subs...the burglars were male, and since they got away with a wallet, two cell phones and a jewelry box, the theft wasn't aborted. The woman was the owner of the house and the traitorous scythe blade.


Yeah, but they didn't get the dope at least.

Also, why the fark was her husband still asleep?  You'd think she'd at least wake him up when someone was knocking incessantly at her door at 1:15 in the morning.
 
2013-12-07 08:14:22 PM

no clever name here just move along: reading comprehension, subby. Do you even


cdn.ientry.com

MISREPRESENT A HEADLINE AGAIN. MISREPRESENT A HEADLINE AGAIN. I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHERFARKER!
 
2013-12-07 08:14:32 PM

Calmamity: Do you guys even click the submitted articles any more?


Why would we?
 
2013-12-07 08:18:21 PM

Gyrfalcon: the woman stepped on an antique scythe blade that was leaned against a dresser, causing a deep laceration to the bottom of her foot.

What the...? Does she live in the Addams Family house or something?


Their house is probably decorated "country style".
People who decorate by that style will find any old piece of crap in a barn, and hang it in their house.
my cousin put a pic on facebook this a.m. of a kids radio flyer wheel hung w some mistletoe, and it's a Christmas decoration.
whatever.
 
2013-12-07 08:18:40 PM
Looks like somebody...

*shades*

...stood their ground.
 
2013-12-07 08:18:52 PM
*pulls out sunglasses

"I guess she...."

*puts on sunglasses

"couldn't hack it...."


\YEEAHHH!!!!
 
2013-12-07 08:19:38 PM
FTA :

One suspect is described as... six feet, three inches tall, 250 pounds. The second suspect is... five feet, five inches tall, 160 pounds

The second suspect was heard asking, "We're pals, huh Spike?  Aint we real good pals?"
 
2013-12-07 08:20:31 PM
One suspect is described as 35-years-old, six feet, three inches tall, 250 pounds with blond hair and blue eyes. The other suspect is between 25- to 30-years-old, five feet, five inches tall, 160 pounds with brown hair and brown eyes.

So it was one of Hitlers finest and a mexican?
 
2013-12-07 08:25:02 PM
Either subby can't read, or is incredibly stupid.  Probably both.  But I blame the mod who approved this.
 
2013-12-07 08:25:11 PM
Don't fear the (reads TFA) oh never mind.
 
2013-12-07 08:25:22 PM

Gyrfalcon: the woman stepped on an antique scythe blade that was leaned against a dresser, causing a deep laceration to the bottom of her foot.

What the...? Does she live in the Addams Family house or something?


She lives where she wants to live
 
2013-12-07 08:27:01 PM

zabadu: Either subby can't read, or is incredibly stupid.  Probably both.  But I blame the mod who approved this.


This.  Wonder if the same person that fscked a headline yesterday.
 
2013-12-07 08:27:39 PM

Twitch Boy: Looks like somebody...

*shades*

...stood their ground.


UberNeuman: *pulls out sunglasses

"I guess she...."

*puts on sunglasses

"couldn't hack it...."


\YEEAHHH!!!!


Nice. 12 seconds.
 
2013-12-07 08:28:01 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Subby is a dumbass and the admins should have just rejected this article, given that subby is a dumbass.

His ass is dumb.


But he got a green!!!  That's the highlight of some people's lives around here.
 
2013-12-07 08:31:19 PM
She's going to have to get a tetanus shot.  I hate stepping on rusty farm implements I leave blade side up scattered around my house.  Threshers, combines, sickles...just everywhere.  Great for obstacle courses when the kids come by.
 
2013-12-07 08:33:09 PM
Who in their right mind leaves a scythe in a place where it could be accidentally stepped on?
 
2013-12-07 08:37:03 PM

anfrind: Who in their right mind leaves a scythe in a place where it could be accidentally stepped on?


The Reaper.
 
2013-12-07 08:40:13 PM

zabadu: Either subby can't read, or is incredibly stupid.  Probably both.  But I blame the mod who approved this.


yep

Odoriferous Queef: anfrind: Who in their right mind leaves a scythe in a place where it could be accidentally stepped on?

The Reaper.


Seasons don't fear him.
 
2013-12-07 08:42:55 PM
Why did the woman, with a foot wound, have to be the one who went to the neighbors' for help? Why didn't the husband get his ass in gear and help while she stayed in the bathtub?
 
2013-12-07 08:46:51 PM
Oh Subby. I... don't even have a snark for you. Just a big fat FAIL tag.
 
2013-12-07 08:48:32 PM
Subby probably thinks the woman was pregnant, but isn't anymore.
 
2013-12-07 08:52:49 PM
In other news, subby has dyslexia.
 
2013-12-07 08:53:27 PM

silvervial: Why did the woman, with a foot wound, have to be the one who went to the neighbors' for help? Why didn't the husband get his ass in gear and help while she stayed in the bathtub?


He had to go back to sleep.  Besides, that's women's work.
 
2013-12-07 08:55:13 PM
How about best two out of three...
 
2013-12-07 09:01:53 PM
Sighs..i submit alot of links, and use the headline, or make one up that is funny, but at least partly accurate. But it seems as if the subtard can just vomit false headlines and get posted. WTF?
 
2013-12-07 09:02:18 PM

Twitch Boy: Looks like somebody...

*shades*

...stood their ground.

i43.tinypic.com
 
2013-12-07 09:04:55 PM
Some people calls it a slingblade.

/subby has reading comprehension of Carl Childers
 
2013-12-07 09:12:36 PM

kling_klang_bed: In other news, subby has disclexia.


FTFY
 
2013-12-07 09:24:04 PM

Odoriferous Queef: anfrind: Who in their right mind leaves a scythe in a place where it could be accidentally stepped on?

The Reaper.


www.snapshots.net
 
2013-12-07 09:26:05 PM
Reading is hard.Tag is for subby
 
2013-12-07 09:27:05 PM
I know most of us never read the article, but this time, even subby skipped it.
 
2013-12-07 09:27:59 PM
Did subbs even RTFA?
 
2013-12-07 09:31:36 PM
So is she an idiot for answering the door, steeping on the scythe, having a scythe by the door, or marrying an asshat who stays in bed as his wife answers the door?

At least the hubby finally got a link greenlit.
 
2013-12-07 10:07:29 PM
So, which one of the male burglars who did not step onto the sythe was the woman who stepped onto it. Oh wait, she's the one who lived there.
 
2013-12-07 10:08:04 PM
scythe, sorry
 
2013-12-07 10:08:13 PM
The woman went to a neighbor's house to call 911 for help.

Sometimes it is nice to have a land line. This is one of those times.
 
2013-12-07 10:13:44 PM
I have one of those hanging in my shed.
I only use it sometimes.
Subs is a moran!
 
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