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(Guardian)   Xbox One game "Ryse: Son of Rome" knocked for breast physics   (theguardian.com) divider line 89
    More: Strange, physics, breast physics, design competition, female characters, boobs, female bodies, apex, fighting games  
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7386 clicks; posted to Geek » on 07 Dec 2013 at 9:54 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



89 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-07 04:08:59 PM
"You create a skeleton out of around 15 joints and then add a couple extra that sit in front of the chest area - these would then have motion applied by the spline joints and driven by dynamic code. Most of the issues tend to come from not properly tightening up all the inputs you have under those physics-based objects."

Submitter should tell his mom that floppiness and sag appear to be a result of sloppy coding.
 
2013-12-07 04:28:05 PM
ALL THE THINGS WRONG WITH THIS GAME AND THEY'RE WORRIED ABOUT BREASTS

ROFL
 
2013-12-07 06:30:05 PM
"She's obsessed. She's obsessed with breasts. That's hard to say."

static3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-12-07 06:49:06 PM
"which later spawned the horrendous DOA: Beach Volleyball titles"

I can't be the only one who read that as beach volleyball titties.
 
2013-12-07 07:07:09 PM
I was led to believe that they behave much like bags of sand.
 
2013-12-07 07:27:30 PM
Complain about physics. Post still photo in article
 
2013-12-07 08:42:47 PM

serial_crusher: Complain about physics. Post still photo in article


Here's a link with a clip, and the relevant part has been GIF-iffied in the comments:

http://kotaku.com/thats-not-how-breasts-work-ryse-1474988961
 
2013-12-07 08:46:51 PM
While we're on the subject, why aren't there any friggin porn titles for console games? I feel like porn got driven underground. You can't even find a semi-terrible action movie with titties anymore. It's not like there aren't console gamers well into their 20s, 30s, and 40s.
 
2013-12-07 08:59:17 PM
24.media.tumblr.com

Woop! Woop!
 
2013-12-07 08:59:57 PM

bdub77: While we're on the subject, why aren't there any friggin porn titles for console games? I feel like porn got driven underground. You can't even find a semi-terrible action movie with titties anymore. It's not like there aren't console gamers well into their 20s, 30s, and 40s.


You gotta import those from Japan.
 
2013-12-07 09:29:53 PM
Well, you gotta give WoW credit on this one, guys: At least the female armor there isn't a plate mail bikini.
 
2013-12-07 10:02:11 PM
More like the Ryse of my pants, am I right?
 
rpm
2013-12-07 10:05:18 PM

Ghastly: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]

Woop! Woop!


That's nothing compared to Stretch Panic on the PS2.
 
2013-12-07 10:05:46 PM

Sgt Otter: serial_crusher: Complain about physics. Post still photo in article

Here's a link with a clip, and the relevant part has been GIF-iffied in the comments:

http://kotaku.com/thats-not-how-breasts-work-ryse-1474988961



Defintely a bad case of the tupperware titties
 
2013-12-07 10:06:38 PM

Sgt Otter: serial_crusher: Complain about physics. Post still photo in article

Here's a link with a clip, and the relevant part has been GIF-iffied in the comments:

http://kotaku.com/thats-not-how-breasts-work-ryse-1474988961


That's not the only relevant parts in the comments
 
2013-12-07 10:08:16 PM
Citras tits in Far Cry 3 were pretty nice
 
2013-12-07 10:09:06 PM

Ghastly: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]

Woop! Woop!


Hey, the breast physics are the least concern in the 'hands move 360 degrees like a 'chopper' gif.
 
2013-12-07 10:13:49 PM

hardinparamedic: Well, you gotta give WoW credit on this one, guys: At least the female armor there isn't a plate mail bikini.


Black mageweave set.
 
2013-12-07 10:14:51 PM

kroonermanblack: Ghastly: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]

Woop! Woop!

Hey, the breast physics are the least concern in the 'hands move 360 degrees like a 'chopper' gif.


I was copying this when I made it.
 
2013-12-07 10:15:39 PM

Mad_Radhu: I was led to believe that they behave much like bags of sand.


Only if you're really dehyrdrated.
 
2013-12-07 10:23:17 PM

Sgt Otter: serial_crusher: Complain about physics. Post still photo in article

Here's a link with a clip, and the relevant part has been GIF-iffied in the comments:

http://kotaku.com/thats-not-how-breasts-work-ryse-1474988961


Damn it kotaku It's not "next generation" if you can buy the console at wal mart.
 
2013-12-07 10:25:27 PM
Nipples.
 
2013-12-07 10:25:57 PM
Who are the people knocking this game? I WANT THOSE KNOCKERS EXPOSED!
 
2013-12-07 10:41:07 PM

hardinparamedic: Well, you gotta give WoW credit on this one, guys: At least the female armor there isn't a plate mail bikini.


gomakemeasandwich.files.wordpress.com

Say again?
 
2013-12-07 10:41:39 PM

EvilEgg: "which later spawned the horrendous DOA: Beach Volleyball titles"

I can't be the only one who read that as beach volleyball titties.


Eh, that's basically what it is.
 
2013-12-07 10:46:10 PM
City of Heroes' best improvement was when they added the boob slider to character creation.

i58.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-07 11:05:54 PM
I wish I could post the Tomb Raider mod from years ago that made Lara Croft naked.
 
2013-12-07 11:09:09 PM
It's not so much that they move too much, it's that they move all wrong.
 
2013-12-07 11:10:49 PM
Well, it's one of the two parts of human anatomy that can't really be represented with simple static physics involving a set of points with fixed relationships, so the math is significantly harder on the render.  Graphics designers aren't known for their deep mastery of fluid dynamics and calculation-cost measurements with differential equation solution functions, so I'm not gonna hold my breath on them getting it realistically any time soon.

// The other part being testicles, which aren't usually an issue because of how censorship works these days.
 
2013-12-07 11:11:09 PM
Buddy of mine has Ryse, watched him play for a bit.  What I saw confirmed my suspicion that it is a moderately enjoyable game if bought for ten bucks or so a year or more after it's been out.
 
2013-12-07 11:26:42 PM
images.t-nation.com

I want to make this my lock screen, but you can't do that on an iPhone.
 
2013-12-07 11:27:45 PM
by the way, if you haven't had the "uncanny valley" explained, it's about how when characters are in motion, really simplified representations of a figure get warm, sympathetic feelings from your audience, but the more realistic the character is, the harder it is to keep the audience from feeling repulsed, horrified, or disgusted.


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-12-07 11:28:52 PM
Time to put the controller down, guys.
 
2013-12-07 11:29:17 PM

hardinparamedic: Well, you gotta give WoW credit on this one, guys: At least the female armor there isn't a plate mail bikini.


10/10

A big troll, but not so big that you'll break your thumbs trying to grasp it.
 
2013-12-07 11:34:38 PM

Jim_Callahan: Well, it's one of the two parts of human anatomy that can't really be represented with simple static physics involving a set of points with fixed relationships, so the math is significantly harder on the render.  Graphics designers aren't known for their deep mastery of fluid dynamics and calculation-cost measurements with differential equation solution functions, so I'm not gonna hold my breath on them getting it realistically any time soon.

// The other part being testicles, which aren't usually an issue because of how censorship works these days.


This.

Some of it is also motion capture.  They still can't get us to buy that they're real people when they talk and such.  It's animation, no different than pixar exaggerating character faces to show emotionX.  It always comes out cartoony or wooden.  I'd rather some unrealistic jiggle than none whatsoever.

People complain about boobs as if they're puritans or something, but we only notice the bad jiggling because we've seen enough jiggling boobs to know how they should jiggle.  Hypocritical in a way.
 
2013-12-07 11:37:45 PM

StopLurkListen: by the way, if you haven't had the "uncanny valley" explained, it's about how when characters are in motion, really simplified representations of a figure get warm, sympathetic feelings from your audience, but the more realistic the character is, the harder it is to keep the audience from feeling repulsed, horrified, or disgusted.


[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x663]


To me, it's not always a visceral reaction, sometimes I'm just creeped out because I know the artist has got to be whacked out if that's how he sees the world.

/Vsauce on youtube recently did a show on "creepy"
//thumbnail is a teddy bear with dentures if you're interested, kindof a fun watch
 
2013-12-07 11:44:40 PM
"In Japanese animation, they have a concept of 'fan service'

Dude, it's not just an anime thing anymore.
 
2013-12-07 11:54:22 PM

Mad_Radhu: I was led to believe that they behave much like bags of sand.


Came for this, leaving satisfied
 
2013-12-08 12:13:20 AM
nothing tops the wacked out physics of the sixaxis boobs in mgs4...
 
2013-12-08 01:06:53 AM

Jim_Callahan: Well, it's one of the two parts of human anatomy that can't really be represented with simple static physics involving a set of points with fixed relationships, so the math is significantly harder on the render.  Graphics designers aren't known for their deep mastery of fluid dynamics and calculation-cost measurements with differential equation solution functions, so I'm not gonna hold my breath on them getting it realistically any time soon.

// The other part being testicles, which aren't usually an issue because of how censorship works these days.


The other day I went into the butcher's shop. "Do you have sheep's testicles?" I asked. "No," he replied. "The programmer simply couldn't be arsed to get the physics right when rendering my balls."
 
2013-12-08 01:25:48 AM

Lachwen: hardinparamedic: Well, you gotta give WoW credit on this one, guys: At least the female armor there isn't a plate mail bikini.

[gomakemeasandwich.files.wordpress.com image 791x320]

Say again?


I think they generally moved away from that over time. When I played, starting after Wrath of the Lich King came out I can't remember ever coming across any female armor that looked like that, though maybe I wasn't paying enough attention in town and I never did get very far on that blood elf alt...

bdub77: While we're on the subject, why aren't there any friggin porn titles for console games? I feel like porn got driven underground. You can't even find a semi-terrible action movie with titties anymore. It's not like there aren't console gamers well into their 20s, 30s, and 40s.


You can't even get away with relatively tasteful nudity, let alone sex, in video games without a wailing and gnashing of teeth, and you're seriously asking this question? Take the first Mass Effect for example. There was maybe 2 seconds of ass and sideboob, in the dark, and people flipped their shiat to the point where, comically, in their next game, Dragon Age: Origins, though the actual sex shown was more explicit(which actually just makes it more awkward because it's like watching two mannequins making out and groping each other where as the ME1 scenes gets around all that by cutting away quickly after getting the point across...)...everyone kept their undies on, because nudity is bad. None of the console manufacturers will allow games that would net an AO rating on their machines, and none of the retail outlets would likely stock them even if they did. Really though, the whole 'mannequins groping each other' issue seems like it'd be overly difficult to get around to make explicit porn games worth engaging in when you can real people doing basically anything you want thanks to the internet.

As for Ryse, it's not getting attention because 'ooo, boobs', but 'oh god what's wrong with those boobs?' because of how exaggerated and obviously wrong looking the motion is.

/That DA scene though, I forgot...right in the middle of camp? Really? Not even going to go in the tent, just going to go at it in front of the rest of the party?
//what a shocker that the top search results for both games were the lesbian scenes, totally didn't see that coming
 
2013-12-08 01:57:45 AM

HalEmmerich: I think they generally moved away from that over time. When I played, starting after Wrath of the Lich King came out I can't remember ever coming across any female armor that looked like that, though maybe I wasn't paying enough attention in town and I never did get very far on that blood elf alt...



They did it the most in Burning Crusade.  A lot of the Outlands gear just straight-up looked like stripper outfits on the female characters.
 
2013-12-08 02:15:17 AM
This game's gonna go tits up soon.
 
2013-12-08 02:42:56 AM

fusillade762: "In Japanese animation, they have a concept of 'fan service'

Dude, it's not just an anime thing anymore.


It never was to begin with.
 
2013-12-08 03:45:50 AM
FTA:  "At one place I worked, the breast physics went totally out of control. We put the game on a 'soak test' - where we'd leave it running overnight to see if it remained stable. When we came back in the morning the breasts were literally as big as the entire world."

He says it like it's a bad thing.
 
2013-12-08 03:57:23 AM

Ed Grubermann: It's not so much that they move too much, it's that they move all wrong.


It was as if the breasts were rubber sacks with weights in them. If she's standing still, the rubber is tight. If she moves, they loosen enough for the weights to drop then bounce back up.
 
2013-12-08 04:03:18 AM
I have two thoughts on this. One, you would think after the many years and attempts, they'd have the physics down by now. Two, since they so clearly don't, just leave them static with the rest of the torso. Few people care about boob jiggling if it isn't there, and everyone is going to care about boob jiggling if it is there and done like shiat.
 
2013-12-08 05:52:20 AM
Female dwarves in wow. They flop around like water balloons even in plate armor.
 
2013-12-08 05:58:41 AM
What is the game about?

Holy shiat, a whole article about the breast physics in a game and not a single mention about what kind of game it is. I'm guessing an Assassin's Creed style adventure-RPG, set in Imperial Rome?
 
2013-12-08 06:31:29 AM

picturescrazy: I have two thoughts on this. One, you would think after the many years and attempts, they'd have the physics down by now.


1: Male programmers: who have never spent time looking at how real boobs actually move. Only porno models with implants. Normal boobs hang differently based on position of the torso. They aren't muscle, they are blobs of fat and they move as such.

2: Engine constraints: the torso is relatively stiff, Boobs are somewhat jiggly, and fabric is supposed to drape, ripple, and fold with movement. Ideally the fabric would be actually placed upon the model, and use something like physX to make it move appropriately. Breast motion could also be simulated via Physx. This however, is computationally expensive, and perhaps they wanted to save all that rendering power for oh, I don't know, rendering the rest of the entire scene, not virtual tits. Games haven't really gotten the whole drapey fabric thing done right yet anyway, due to the way models interact in game (Ex: The whole wonky tressFX thing for Lara crofts hair in the latest tomb raider. sometimes it just looks wrong.) I suspect that her entire body, boobs, clothing and all, were rendered as a single model, That means that when the boobs move, the fabric stretches instead of slides across her skin.

3: Time constraints: "JENKINS! it's crunchtime! You've spent the past 2 months designing this scene, what do you have to show for it?"

"Well, I just finished getting the breasts to wiggle jussst right and the fabric drapes and flutters over them perfectly!"

"Thats it? What about the room? The lighting? The textures on everything else? the bumpmaps, the normal maps, the collision meshes? What about lipsync."

"Haven't started any of that sir."

"Jenkins, you're fired."

Breast physics is probably the lowest priority of things to fix in a game that is being rushed to launch with a new platform, so day one they put in terrible breast physics as a place holder, and never had time to finish up and correct them, as they were to busy with making literally everything else of actual consequence in the world.
 
2013-12-08 06:33:31 AM

Ishkur: What is the game about?

Holy shiat, a whole article about the breast physics in a game and not a single mention about what kind of game it is. I'm guessing an Assassin's Creed style adventure-RPG, set in Imperial Rome?


Eh... its more of a pure combat game which you can move around in... its very similar to the God of War series.

The youtube videos of Ryse in action are extremely awesome and brutal... but I hear from most people that gameplay is overly simplistic and repetitive.
 
2013-12-08 07:19:16 AM
I realize that it's unpopular for the desired group, but most of this insanity could be gotten rid of by just having the female chars, npcs, and all the rest just have, you know, normal sized breasts. I know the game industry can't distinguish between "adult" and male adolescent fantasy, but TFA was right when they called it distracting.
 
2013-12-08 07:39:08 AM
Given the structure of the outfit and the emotional state of the character, that's a shiatload more accurate than everything else on the market.
 
2013-12-08 07:41:43 AM

Alonjar: Ishkur: What is the game about?

Holy shiat, a whole article about the breast physics in a game and not a single mention about what kind of game it is. I'm guessing an Assassin's Creed style adventure-RPG, set in Imperial Rome?

Eh... its more of a pure combat game which you can move around in... its very similar to the God of War series.

The youtube videos of Ryse in action are extremely awesome and brutal... but I hear from most people that gameplay is overly simplistic and repetitive.


If Yahtzee is to be believed, there is a press-button-for-killing-move quicktime event which doesn't actually care about the player pressing the correct button. Of any button at all for that matter.

It is basically a movie with as few story flow breaking player interactions as possible.
 
2013-12-08 08:04:08 AM

SomeoneDumb: I realize that it's unpopular for the desired group, but most of this insanity could be gotten rid of by just having the female chars, npcs, and all the rest just have, you know, normal sized breasts. I know the game industry can't distinguish between "adult" and male adolescent fantasy, but TFA was right when they called it distracting.


img.fark.net
Some classical Roman attire for you. The dress isn't to horrifically out of line with the style, and is tame considering they could have gone for statue number 2 and leave a titty hanging out entirely.

The fact she has large breasts wouldn't be such a big deal if they hung and moved like actual breasts. Instead they move like mellons on springs, and the fabric stretches unnaturally over them rather then the fabric not stretching and the breasts moving underneath them.

/Unsupported boobies that large should pancake out really.
 
2013-12-08 08:43:07 AM

SomeoneDumb: I realize that it's unpopular for the desired group, but most of this insanity could be gotten rid of by just having the female chars, npcs, and all the rest just have, you know, normal sized breasts. I know the game industry can't distinguish between "adult" and male adolescent fantasy, but TFA was right when they called it distracting.


Actually, the over-sized anatomy found in media is more to stress that the character is, in fact, since many of the subtle nuances are lost in film/game/cartoon. It's instant identification, since the characters are archetypes and not real people.  It's why almost all comic book characters, even the 'small busted' ones have heavy C or D breasts.
 
2013-12-08 08:52:09 AM

kroonermanblack: SomeoneDumb: I realize that it's unpopular for the desired group, but most of this insanity could be gotten rid of by just having the female chars, npcs, and all the rest just have, you know, normal sized breasts. I know the game industry can't distinguish between "adult" and male adolescent fantasy, but TFA was right when they called it distracting.

Actually, the over-sized anatomy found in media is more to stress that the character is, in fact, since many of the subtle nuances are lost in film/game/cartoon. It's instant identification, since the characters are archetypes and not real people.  It's why almost all comic book characters, even the 'small busted' ones have heavy C or D breasts.


Sigh.

insert a 'female' where desired.
 
2013-12-08 09:05:05 AM

Alonjar: Eh... its more of a pure combat game which you can move around in... its very similar to the God of War series.


DerAppie: If Yahtzee is to be believed, there is a press-button-for-killing-move quicktime event which doesn't actually care about the player pressing the correct button. Of any button at all for that matter.



Yeah... after watching the youtube clip, despite the impressive graphics, it looks to be yet another linear game with "breadcrumb gameplay" -- no exploration, no improvisation or decision-making, just mindlessly follow the instructions on the screen to proceed to the next area/task, move your cursor over the arrow and press the button, move your character to the other character with the exclamation mark above his head and talk to him, press the button, next area, go where it says you have to go, move on, yadda yadda....

Whenever I play those games, I always feel like a three year old in a playground, being ushered around the various apparatuses by adults...
 
2013-12-08 09:15:59 AM

fluffy2097: Unsupported boobies that large should pancake out really.


Not necessarily true.  Some women stay firm well into their 30's.  A lot of it is diet, some of it genetics as well as physical history to include variation in growth and developement.  Breasts, by and large are no less varied than people's faces.

Between healthy skin and ligaments that don't stretch/give out, firm breasts without implants are not unrealistic, just somewhat rare.

kroonermanblack: Actually, the over-sized anatomy found in media is more to stress that the character is, in fact, since many of the subtle nuances are lost in film/game/cartoon. It's instant identification, since the characters are archetypes and not real people.  It's why almost all comic book characters, even the 'small busted' ones have heavy C or D breasts.


This.  Every aspect of a character contributes to their image(to include personality).
 
2013-12-08 10:13:18 AM

omeganuepsilon: Not necessarily true.  Some women stay firm well into their 30's.  A lot of it is diet, some of it genetics as well as physical history to include variation in growth and developement.  Breasts, by and large are no less varied than people's faces.

Between healthy skin and ligaments that don't stretch/give out, firm breasts without implants are not unrealistic, just somewhat rare.


Fine fine. 3% of women might have boobs like that. It's still an unrealistic bust in pretty much every way manageable. Feminists would argue that it's crass exploitation and eye candy for men. I'd argue that it's so poorly implemented it doesn't even manage to reach crass, it's an awkward optical assault and is in no way arousing, It's just distracting.

( . ) ( . ) is sexier then what they managed to do in that game for gods sake.
 
2013-12-08 10:40:15 AM

omeganuepsilon: etween healthy skin and ligaments that don't stretch/give out, firm breasts without implants are not unrealistic, just somewhat rare.


And that's what makes them magical.
 
2013-12-08 10:50:20 AM

DerAppie: Alonjar: Ishkur: What is the game about?

Holy shiat, a whole article about the breast physics in a game and not a single mention about what kind of game it is. I'm guessing an Assassin's Creed style adventure-RPG, set in Imperial Rome?

Eh... its more of a pure combat game which you can move around in... its very similar to the God of War series.

The youtube videos of Ryse in action are extremely awesome and brutal... but I hear from most people that gameplay is overly simplistic and repetitive.

If Yahtzee is to be believed, there is a press-button-for-killing-move quicktime event which doesn't actually care about the player pressing the correct button. Of any button at all for that matter.

It is basically a movie with as few story flow breaking player interactions as possible.


That's pretty much what most reviewers have been saying.  There are essentially three different enemy types and once you get the slow-mo moves down the gameplay becomes a Skinner box with no reward.
 
2013-12-08 11:12:23 AM

born_yesterday: omeganuepsilon: etween healthy skin and ligaments that don't stretch/give out, firm breasts without implants are not unrealistic, just somewhat rare.

And that's what makes them magical.


Aye.

fluffy2097: Feminists would argue that it's crass exploitation


That's because they don't even really know what exploitation means.  You can't exploit(in the way they mean) a video ficticious character. You can't degrade or demean them in any emotional context any more than you can a hammer.

That's been a fallicious argument in any sense since it's origin.  What they(in the vaguest sense, the media) are exploiting is the love people have for tits.  Same way any and every business on earth "exploits" it's customers.

They are using the term "exploit" equivocatively, implying a negative usage such as slavery(which was unjustly exploitative) and the sentiments of loathing we relate to that, and trying to get people to feel negatively about naked women.

fluffy2097: It's still an unrealistic bust in pretty much every way manageable.


Such a vague and subjective phrase.  You're doing just what feminists do.  Equivocation in a sense, because lack of realism has negative connotations.  But we're talking about ficticous characters that don't really have a place in objective reality.  Of course it's unrealistic.  Just as "bad" as aliens in a sci-fi movie....meaning: Get the fark over it.

To me, "unrealistic" would be boobs that don't move at all.  I'm willing to allow room for error in getting the details just right, as it is a very difficult feat.  If you break the video up into smaller segments, there are some jiggles that aren't half bad.

If you want realistic, I suggest not playing video games.  The entire human body jiggles when it walks in any way but the most gentle and slow motions, even muscular men.  The rigidity of the rest of the body throws other things into contrast.  Skin and muscle and fat all ripple and have waves pass through it.  Watch real video showcasing the phenomenon in slow motion and it's pretty obvious that we're more or less made of jello.

http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/olivia-wilde-gq1.gi f

http://coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/kate-upton-boobs-3a. gi f?w=600&h=338
 
2013-12-08 11:23:19 AM
Rome...which is in Italy...yet the characters speak...British English.
 
2013-12-08 11:34:42 AM

kliq: Rome...which is in Italy...yet the characters speak...British English.


Cant say I'd have understood latin
 
2013-12-08 11:41:15 AM
Let's make a Hajji: Son of Mecca, and then all these h8rs can go watch chicks in burqas & not get a stiffy, or something.

/OMFG I ALMOST SAW AN ANKLE!
FAP!
 
2013-12-08 12:23:35 PM
So they built a model and then attached some CG water balloons to her chest? Seems pretty standard.
 
2013-12-08 12:24:24 PM

Alonjar: kliq: Rome...which is in Italy...yet the characters speak...British English.

Cant say I'd have understood latin


They could at least speak Italian or Sardinian accented English.
 
2013-12-08 12:48:37 PM
Should be knocked for being a sucky hame in general.
 
2013-12-08 12:51:03 PM

kliq: Rome...which is in Italy...yet the characters speak...British English.


Should have gone with the style from the show Spartacus.

"Once more the gods spread cheek and shove cock in farking ass!"
 
2013-12-08 12:51:46 PM
I'm more annoyed that they couldn't be bothered to give the main character a proper Roman name. It should be Titus Marius, not Marius Titus - praenomen goes first. It's literally the first thing you learn when you get a boner for Roman stuff and they couldn't even get that part right.
 
2013-12-08 12:58:19 PM
Back in my day we had to pleasure ourselves to 8 bit images that we pretended were breast in games - and we were thankful for it because it was a step up from Pong.
 
2013-12-08 03:04:48 PM
Why not just talk to sports bra manufacturers?  They seem to have figured it out (NSFW link).
 
2013-12-08 04:19:45 PM
nVIDIA has a new dual-chip card coming out soon. It will be able to:

- Quickly calculate and apply 1 Billion shades of pink, beige, brown and red to polygons.

- An entire separate chip called BreastPhysX, which will transform breasts natively. The function works like FXAA, taking the breasts of your current games and expanding them with minimal effort.

Quickly add mammary realism to your games with this simple PCIE card.
 
2013-12-08 04:33:40 PM

Tranquil Hegemony: I'm more annoyed that they couldn't be bothered to give the main character a proper Roman name. It should be Titus Marius, not Marius Titus - praenomen goes first. It's literally the first thing you learn when you get a boner for Roman stuff and they couldn't even get that part right.


Yeah.... in the cut scenes, his father and mother call him "Marius". Marius is a gens (Marii) -- that's the family name. They're all called Marius.
 
2013-12-08 04:44:57 PM

banshee612: Back in my day we had to pleasure ourselves to 8 bit images that we pretended were breast in games - and we were thankful for it because it was a step up from Pong.


You saw breasts on the Pong sprites?
 
2013-12-08 05:59:47 PM

Ishkur: Alonjar: Eh... its more of a pure combat game which you can move around in... its very similar to the God of War series.

DerAppie: If Yahtzee is to be believed, there is a press-button-for-killing-move quicktime event which doesn't actually care about the player pressing the correct button. Of any button at all for that matter.


Yeah... after watching the youtube clip, despite the impressive graphics, it looks to be yet another linear game with "breadcrumb gameplay" -- no exploration, no improvisation or decision-making, just mindlessly follow the instructions on the screen to proceed to the next area/task, move your cursor over the arrow and press the button, move your character to the other character with the exclamation mark above his head and talk to him, press the button, next area, go where it says you have to go, move on, yadda yadda....

Whenever I play those games, I always feel like a three year old in a playground, being ushered around the various apparatuses by adults...


Personally, frankly, I don't get the obsessive raging hard on some people have for open world games. They're boring to me. So what you call a breadcrumb game I'd probably call fun. To clarify, it doesn't sound like THIS game would be fun, it sounds like a movie, not a game.  But you've just said 'anything but an open world game, which limits us to GTA, Elder scrolls, or Fallout, isn't good?

Mentat: Why not just talk to sports bra manufacturers?  They seem to have figured it out (NSFW link).


Actually, if you click around, they really haven't. The B cup moves as much and in pretty much the same manner as the F++ cup. Plus, as was mentioned upthread, it's not that they CAN NOT model breasts accurately, but to do so is cycle intensive. Granted, the clip I watched of the game is inexcusably lame, and they should have just made it a solid/freeze with no jiggle.
 
2013-12-08 06:43:41 PM

kroonermanblack: Personally, frankly, I don't get the obsessive raging hard on some people have for open world games. They're boring to me. So what you call a breadcrumb game I'd probably call fun. To clarify, it doesn't sound like THIS game would be fun, it sounds like a movie, not a game. But you've just said 'anything but an open world game, which limits us to GTA, Elder scrolls, or Fallout, isn't good?


No, because I don't like pure sandbox games either (Mindcraft bores me, and SimCity I find interesting but I never got obsessed with it). You're thinking that I'm arguing for the extremist polar opposite. I'm not. The only Elder Scroll game I played was Morrowind, and that game utterly bored me to tears. It was TOO open-ended, with too many caves and too much loot, and I maxed out my character and solved all the guild fetch quests with barely 7% of the map explored which means over 90% of the gameworld is not even necessary for completion. And there were no consequences to what I did -- the game is completely and totally arbitrary and irrelevant. There is no need for you to visit the rest of the map. There is nothing to get that will make your character better, no one to talk to, and no plot points to advance the story. But I digress.

I like choice. There should be rules and structures and maybe even a main plot that gently nudges me where I want to go, but let me make the decision to go there at my leisure. I love exploring and finding easter eggs. The only game (series) that rewarded this type of behavior and executed the "open world but with plot threads" flawlessly was Ultima, and I'm looking forward to Shroud of the Avatar to restore some of that exploratory magic. But this new crop of games, where everything is laid out in front of you and all you have to do is press the button to jump through the hoop is not interesting. Don't force me down one path and then put obstacles in the path that require a specific button combination to advance under the guise of interactivity. It's utterly mundane.

One of the more comical gameplay mechanics I find, especially in war gaming, is the unlimited time allotted to complete tasks. So the barbarians could be at the gates, and they will break down the door at any moment, your allies are running to the top of the ramparts to shoot arrows, mass chaos, fire and shouting hang in the air. There's a real sense of urgency where time is critical, but not really because nothing will happen. The barbarians will never break down the door. You could take as long as you want wandering around looking at things, manning the ballista or talking to NPCs or reinforcements to stop the door from coming down. Nothing will happen and the game doesn't progress until you execute the proper sequence.

That's not a video game, that's a hamster wheel.
 
2013-12-08 06:53:43 PM
It's better than the strippers' tits in GTA V... They are basically immobile lumps.

/And naked, too. This is the first console game I've seen with female nipples as part of the game without hacking.
 
2013-12-08 06:55:14 PM
Also, this.
 
2013-12-08 07:20:48 PM

Ishkur: kroonermanblack: Personally, frankly, I don't get the obsessive raging hard on some people have for open world games. They're boring to me. So what you call a breadcrumb game I'd probably call fun. To clarify, it doesn't sound like THIS game would be fun, it sounds like a movie, not a game. But you've just said 'anything but an open world game, which limits us to GTA, Elder scrolls, or Fallout, isn't good?

No, because I don't like pure sandbox games either (Mindcraft bores me, and SimCity I find interesting but I never got obsessed with it). You're thinking that I'm arguing for the extremist polar opposite. I'm not. The only Elder Scroll game I played was Morrowind, and that game utterly bored me to tears. It was TOO open-ended, with too many caves and too much loot, and I maxed out my character and solved all the guild fetch quests with barely 7% of the map explored which means over 90% of the gameworld is not even necessary for completion. And there were no consequences to what I did -- the game is completely and totally arbitrary and irrelevant. There is no need for you to visit the rest of the map. There is nothing to get that will make your character better, no one to talk to, and no plot points to advance the story. But I digress.

I like choice. There should be rules and structures and maybe even a main plot that gently nudges me where I want to go, but let me make the decision to go there at my leisure. I love exploring and finding easter eggs. The only game (series) that rewarded this type of behavior and executed the "open world but with plot threads" flawlessly was Ultima, and I'm looking forward to Shroud of the Avatar to restore some of that exploratory magic. But this new crop of games, where everything is laid out in front of you and all you have to do is press the button to jump through the hoop is not interesting. Don't force me down one path and then put obstacles in the path that require a specific button combination to advance under the guise ...


You're basically describing the newer Elder Scrolls games. Don't let Morrowind spoil your opinion of them. I thought it was a bit too open-ended myself, but Oblivion and Skyrim are different and more structured. If you've played Fallout 3 and New Vegas, you get an idea how much more structured the modern Bethesda games are versus Morrowind, which was their first foray into the sandbox 3D world.

There's tons to do in Oblivion and Skyrim, and even when you beat the main quest, there are many side quests, add-on campaigns, and other goals. It's not just fetch quests, and each guild has its own story that unfolds alongside the main quest (or apart from it, if you desire).

A lot of people swear by Morrowind, but I really didn't grow to love Bethesda until Oblivion.
 
2013-12-08 08:12:20 PM

Avenger: nVIDIA has a new dual-chip card coming out soon. It will be able to:

- Quickly calculate and apply 1 Billion shades of pink, beige, brown and red to polygons.

- An entire separate chip called BreastPhysX, which will transform breasts natively. The function works like FXAA, taking the breasts of your current games and expanding them with minimal effort.

Quickly add mammary realism to your games with this simple PCIE card.


I'll take three
 
2013-12-08 09:34:00 PM
a study of motion capture speciallising in the fluid dynamics of the human mammary gland under movement sounds like a worthwhile PhD to me
 
2013-12-08 09:34:23 PM

Lanadapter: Avenger: nVIDIA has a new dual-chip card coming out soon. It will be able to:

- Quickly calculate and apply 1 Billion shades of pink, beige, brown and red to polygons.

- An entire separate chip called BreastPhysX, which will transform breasts natively. The function works like FXAA, taking the breasts of your current games and expanding them with minimal effort.

Quickly add mammary realism to your games with this simple PCIE card.

I'll take three


three boobs? it's mars for you
 
2013-12-08 10:20:05 PM

bdub77: Lanadapter: Avenger: nVIDIA has a new dual-chip card coming out soon. It will be able to:

- Quickly calculate and apply 1 Billion shades of pink, beige, brown and red to polygons.

- An entire separate chip called BreastPhysX, which will transform breasts natively. The function works like FXAA, taking the breasts of your current games and expanding them with minimal effort.

Quickly add mammary realism to your games with this simple PCIE card.

I'll take three

three boobs? it's mars for you


Or Eroticon Six.

/be sure to ask for Eccentrica Gallumbits
 
2013-12-08 10:35:10 PM
Here's a thread with massive boob pic potential and all you gamerboys want to talk about is...games. Sad.
 
2013-12-08 10:35:39 PM

theorellior: banshee612: Back in my day we had to pleasure ourselves to 8 bit images that we pretended were breast in games - and we were thankful for it because it was a step up from Pong.

You saw breasts on the Pong sprites?


You have to squint really hard. And drink. Heavily. And inhale paint fumes.
 
2013-12-08 10:53:35 PM

Ishkur: What is the game about?

Holy shiat, a whole article about the breast physics in a game and not a single mention about what kind of game it is. I'm guessing an Assassin's Creed style adventure-RPG, set in Imperial Rome?


shiatty God Of War clone infested with pay-to-win mechanics. I saved you some time.
 
2013-12-09 04:33:53 AM

Smashed Hat: FTA:  "At one place I worked, the breast physics went totally out of control. We put the game on a 'soak test' - where we'd leave it running overnight to see if it remained stable. When we came back in the morning the breasts were literally as big as the entire world."

He says it like it's a bad thing.


Ishkur: What is the game about?

Holy shiat, a whole article about the breast physics in a game and not a single mention about what kind of game it is. I'm guessing an Assassin's Creed style adventure-RPG, set in Imperial Rome?


It's more like a really nice looking God Of War clone, minus an interesting character or story.
 
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