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(Ars Technica)   After looking at weather patterns, scholars determine that Mordor is in Texas. Rick Perry heard chanting "One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to..to...oops"   (arstechnica.com) divider line 36
    More: Amusing, Shire, Mordor, Texas, New Zealand, Rick Perry  
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5429 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2013 at 9:06 AM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-07 09:07:40 AM
One does not simply Journey into Texas.
 
2013-12-07 09:10:03 AM
This is waaaaaay too nerdy, even for me.  I'm out.
 
2013-12-07 09:12:38 AM
Does it say if the Wizards who are from Mordor going to be okay?

cdn.charactergrades.com
 
2013-12-07 09:17:39 AM
If Rick Perry ran Mordor the Fellowship could've just sent some random Bracegirdle off to ditch the Ring, and everybody could've kicked back with lots of ale and pipeweed.
 
2013-12-07 09:19:54 AM

Gulper Eel: If Rick Perry ran Mordor the Fellowship could've just sent some random Bracegirdle off to ditch the Ring, and everybody could've kicked back with lots of ale and pipeweed.


If Rick Perry ran Mordor you'd have to go all the way to china to destroy the ring, don't hold it too long or you'll get lead poisoning.
 
2013-12-07 09:21:32 AM
Wow she has a physics degree and is spending time on tripe like that?
 
2013-12-07 09:22:58 AM
To be destroyed, The One Ring must return whence it came: the basement of the Alamo.
 
2013-12-07 09:23:24 AM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-07 09:46:19 AM

DraconianTotalitarian: Wow she has a physics degree and is spending time on tripe like that?


Everyone needs a hobby.
 
2013-12-07 09:48:33 AM

DraconianTotalitarian: Wow she has a physics degree and is spending time on tripe like that?


images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-12-07 09:52:43 AM
Haha! Anyone who writes or even just reads scientific publications for a living should go read her paper. It is adorably well-written and amusing.
 
2013-12-07 09:57:38 AM

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: To be destroyed, The One Ring must return whence it came: the basement of the Alamo.


img.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-07 10:10:00 AM
Regarding the North American map for purported similarity to Mordor's climate, blue must actually connote a similar rate of precipitation and green a similar temperature. This is the opposite of what the caption states. Otherwise, the map would have you believe that we have similar temperature ranges from Mexico to Canada, and similar rainfall totals from Arizona across the South all the way to Georgia.

Also, the red overlapping range of Mordor similarity looks to cover more of north central Mexico and US New Mexico, and very little of Texas, except for maybe parts of the Trans-Pecos region (i.e. El Paso).

And where are the impassable surrounding mountain ranges and a live volcano? Those would seem to be more deterministic of Mordor similarity than a simple climate analogy.
 
2013-12-07 10:10:13 AM
medias.photodeck.com

/ Texas is terrible.  Don't move here.  Save yourself from the desolation.  Stay in California.
 
2013-12-07 10:18:04 AM
FTA: "Mordor's climate, by contrast, is most similar to a band that wraps through the south of Australia, as well as a swath of Texas and Los Angeles, CA. "

So the Dark Lord is likely in LA. Let speculation run wild.
 
2013-12-07 10:21:49 AM

veedeevadeevoodee: [medias.photodeck.com image 800x533]

/ Texas is terrible.  Don't move here.  Save yourself from the desolation.  Stay in California.


Bluebonnets, Indian blankets, black-eyed susans.... yes, Texas is hell on Earth. Save yourselves and stay away!

/now if TFA had come out in 2011 it would have been more credible.
 
2013-12-07 10:31:34 AM
i6.photobucket.com

Does that make Wendy Davis the White Wizard?

/This may not end like the books...
 
2013-12-07 10:48:07 AM

veedeevadeevoodee: [medias.photodeck.com image 800x533]

/ Texas is terrible.  Don't move here.  Save yourself from the desolation.  Stay in California.


Too late. I'm already moving to TX from MI when I get home in February. Don't worry though; I dislike California types as much as you seem to.
 
2013-12-07 10:53:57 AM
Tolkienian nerdery is the best kind of nerdery. The star wars/trek nerds are just jealous that Zeppelin never did a song about Han Solo or Captain Kirk
 
2013-12-07 10:58:10 AM
Pfffftttt, everyone knows Mordor is just another name for Scranton/Wilkes-Barre.
 
2013-12-07 10:59:46 AM
The "one ring to..to...oops" part of the headline is just awesome.
 
2013-12-07 11:03:57 AM

mark625: Regarding the North American map for purported similarity to Mordor's climate, blue must actually connote a similar rate of precipitation and green a similar temperature. This is the opposite of what the caption states. Otherwise, the map would have you believe that we have similar temperature ranges from Mexico to Canada, and similar rainfall totals from Arizona across the South all the way to Georgia.

Also, the red overlapping range of Mordor similarity looks to cover more of north central Mexico and US New Mexico, and very little of Texas, except for maybe parts of the Trans-Pecos region (i.e. El Paso).

And where are the impassable surrounding mountain ranges and a live volcano? Those would seem to be more deterministic of Mordor similarity than a simple climate analogy.


I was thinking the same thing also.  Mordor needs a Mount Doom.
 
2013-12-07 11:44:26 AM

veedeevadeevoodee: [medias.photodeck.com image 800x533]

/ Texas is terrible.  Don't move here.  Save yourself from the desolation.  Stay in California.


Bastards brought their weather with them apparently. It's Chicago-like outside today.

/85 on Thursday though
 
2013-12-07 12:13:35 PM

veedeevadeevoodee: [medias.photodeck.com image 800x533]

/ Texas is terrible.  Don't move here.  Save yourself from the desolation.  Stay in California.


Just out of frame is the guy with the rifle trained on your head for being ON HIS LAND.
 
2013-12-07 12:46:12 PM

Cuchulane: The "one ring to..to...oops" part of the headline is just awesome.


Seconded. That's not getting nearly enough credit in here.
 
2013-12-07 01:09:24 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-07 01:29:30 PM
Why hasn't anybody formed a Fellowship* to take Rick Perry and throw him into a volcano?

This is America, we're talking. (You do have live volcanoes you know.) And lots of public-spirited people.

*They could call it the Rick Perry Bible Fellowship. Or at least send that idea to Wheel of Fortune as a hidden phrase.
 
2013-12-07 01:37:00 PM

LargeCanine: FTA: "Mordor's climate, by contrast, is most similar to a band that wraps through the south of Australia, as well as a swath of Texas and Los Angeles, CA. "

So the Dark Lord is likely in LA. Let speculation run wild.


Speculation? Of course the Dark Lord is in LA! The whole move industry is in LA! And the Dark Lord can only be one man:  Aaron Spelling.

They must have a new Dark Lord by now, though, since he died in 2006. How about George Lucas? He's obviously an evil little troll.

But Star Wars is now owned by Disney.

So the Dark Lord must be at Disney.

Mmmmm ... this is harder than I thought.

Please speculate among yourselves.
 
2013-12-07 02:01:34 PM

SpdrJay: One does not simply Journey into Texas.


There is a derp there that does not sleep.
 
2013-12-07 02:13:18 PM
I'm wondering how a reference to this could somehow be slipped into a term paper or even my thesis... *grin* (atmospheric science, so at least it isn't *too* much of a stretch, and I can't imagine all citations will be checked for non-silliness)
 
2013-12-07 02:13:34 PM

brantgoose: So the Dark Lord must be at Disney.


FTFY.

/Much as I love the various franchises Disney now owns, I have a sneaking suspicion they're pure evil.
 
2013-12-07 02:21:49 PM
Perry is the Bad Breath of Sauron.
 
2013-12-07 03:09:18 PM

veedeevadeevoodee: Texas is terrible.  Don't move here.


Why yes, yes it is. And I wasn't planning to.

/pretty pictures don't make up for the clusterfark that is your state government
//or the assholes you sent to the federal level
 
2013-12-07 03:37:18 PM
....but Yankees!  and the Mexicans!! crept up and slipped away with her-er, her-er, her-er, cheah!
 
2013-12-07 04:22:34 PM
Of course Los Angeles is Mordor. Long Valley/Mammoth is Mt Doom. That's our closest volcano. There's more to do in Mordor than just see Mt Doom, you know.
 
2013-12-08 10:46:43 PM
Mordor was the trenches of the world war in which Tolkien spent his youth.  Shut the fark up.
 
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