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(Washington Post)   Good news, guys: if your penis look like ) or (, now there's a drug to help it look like |   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 123
    More: Spiffy, FDA  
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10128 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2013 at 12:31 AM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-07 01:25:52 AM
<penis>


</penis>
 
2013-12-07 01:29:29 AM

Lsherm: I may not have the longest dong, but I'm extremely happy with two things:  it's straight as an arrow and it has very good girth.  Whenever I see a porno and the guy's dick bends upward or sideways like a jai alai cesta it makes me cringe.


Curved upwards is the best.
 
2013-12-07 01:30:05 AM
The Private Sector: Always solving the problems of the Private Sector.
 
2013-12-07 01:33:33 AM
I can't wait for the awkward commercials for when I watch football with my dad, back to back with Viagra ads. That's what football is all about.
 
2013-12-07 01:34:28 AM
www.peyronease.com

www.peyronease.com
www.peyronease.com
 
2013-12-07 01:37:18 AM
Another TMI thread on Fark. Nothing like reading about dong talk on Fark on a Friday night.
 
2013-12-07 01:40:18 AM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: DreamSnipers: Lsherm: DreamSnipers: "A course of treatment consists of eight injections and four "penile modeling procedure[s]."
 I am willing to bet those injections are not in the butt. And damn if I know what a Penile modeling procedure is. But since it is a medical procedure you can bet it is either extremely uncomfortable or extremely painful.

I'm imagining orthodontia for the cock.

In my childhood I thought the worst thing a doctor could do to you was a shot. If they had anything worse than that they would give you a shot for pain or to knock you out. This idea was lost when I got my first prostate exam. Since then medical science has shown me the error of my youthful theory many times. However if I had to take this 'cure' shots might just top the list once again.

In my childhood, I learned that the worst thing a doctor can do to you is remove your farking toenails surgically with insufficient anaesthetic I shiat you not.

So now I get drunk before every surgery. It improves my pain tolerance, calms my nerves, and presents the doctor with the threat of drunken violence if he tries to skimp on the local.


You had Dr. Tarasidis as well?

He, on an office visit to look at ingrown toenails in both my big toes, decided to go ahead and remove them. Quick shot of pain killer, grab the pliers, and yank'em out. I was 16 at the time.

A year later they had grown back and were infected again. Went to a different Dr. and had him put me under this time. He removed the nail root on either side of both my big toes and I haven't had an ingrown nail since. twelve stiches in each toe (six per side). The only issue is that the nails on those toes are about half the normal width and have nothing to anchor them on the sides. This makes having your nail bent all the way back much easier, though less painful.
 
2013-12-07 01:40:46 AM
I thought one of the major causes of Peyronie's was scar tissue from circumcision.
 
2013-12-07 01:47:09 AM

o'really: Lsherm: I may not have the longest dong, but I'm extremely happy with two things:  it's straight as an arrow and it has very good girth.  Whenever I see a porno and the guy's dick bends upward or sideways like a jai alai cesta it makes me cringe.

Curved upwards is the best.


meh, my giant head makes up for it.  And it's giant.  A squirrel couldn't get my acorn into a tree.
 
2013-12-07 01:51:24 AM

Dreamless: I thought one of the major causes of Peyronie's was scar tissue from circumcision.


No, just scar tissue in general from trauma.  The odds of the scar tissue from circumcision at birth causing the problem is very, very low.  Later injury is usually the culprit, and even then it takes years to develop.
 
2013-12-07 01:55:04 AM

Dreamless: I thought one of the major causes of Peyronie's was scar tissue from circumcision.


When they use a hammer to circumcise the middle of your penis, maybe.
 
2013-12-07 01:57:58 AM

Nunpoo: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: DreamSnipers: Lsherm: DreamSnipers: "A course of treatment consists of eight injections and four "penile modeling procedure[s]."
 I am willing to bet those injections are not in the butt. And damn if I know what a Penile modeling procedure is. But since it is a medical procedure you can bet it is either extremely uncomfortable or extremely painful.

I'm imagining orthodontia for the cock.

In my childhood I thought the worst thing a doctor could do to you was a shot. If they had anything worse than that they would give you a shot for pain or to knock you out. This idea was lost when I got my first prostate exam. Since then medical science has shown me the error of my youthful theory many times. However if I had to take this 'cure' shots might just top the list once again.

In my childhood, I learned that the worst thing a doctor can do to you is remove your farking toenails surgically with insufficient anaesthetic I shiat you not.

So now I get drunk before every surgery. It improves my pain tolerance, calms my nerves, and presents the doctor with the threat of drunken violence if he tries to skimp on the local.

You had Dr. Tarasidis as well?

He, on an office visit to look at ingrown toenails in both my big toes, decided to go ahead and remove them. Quick shot of pain killer, grab the pliers, and yank'em out. I was 16 at the time.

A year later they had grown back and were infected again. Went to a different Dr. and had him put me under this time. He removed the nail root on either side of both my big toes and I haven't had an ingrown nail since. twelve stiches in each toe (six per side). The only issue is that the nails on those toes are about half the normal width and have nothing to anchor them on the sides. This makes having your nail bent all the way back much easier, though less painful.


I was probably 7, mine grew back impacted again, but I didn't go back a second time.

I grew the nails thru the flesh and then used peroxide-soaked cotton to gradually push the sides of the cuticles away from the flesh. Fixed in a month or two.
 
2013-12-07 02:03:37 AM

Marcus Aurelius: All human penises lean to one side or the other.

But enough about the politics tab!

The male member (glans) will lean toward the left if the male in question masturbates with his right hand.  It will lean to the right if he is left handed.

If it is centered, he lost both arms as a child.  This will be easy to recognize.


I'm a leftie but I jerk with my right.
 
2013-12-07 02:03:54 AM
I'll never understand bragging about your dick on an internet forum.  Who are you trying to convince?
 
2013-12-07 02:04:37 AM
Mine curves just enough to the left to make it feel exactly like a high-end Coach purse handle.  One of the thicker ones.

Seriously.  You should try holding it, you will be amazed.
 
2013-12-07 02:05:18 AM

Marcus Aurelius: All human penises lean to one side or the other.

But enough about the politics tab!

The male member (glans) will lean toward the left if the male in question masturbates with his right hand.  It will lean to the right if he is left handed.

If it is centered, he lost both arms as a child.  This will be easy to recognize.


My God.  Bill Clinton (the most famous Peyronie's disease patient) must have been quite the wanker.
 
2013-12-07 02:06:55 AM

highwayrun: I'm a leftie but I jerk with my right.


"Internet disease."  You'll use your favored hand to work the mouse, so your secondary hand picks up the slack.
 
2013-12-07 02:08:04 AM
Do we just not use the Weeners tag anymore?
 
2013-12-07 02:13:05 AM
I read somewhere that a slight curve is intended by evolution because if you insert immediately right after another man has finished, you will scoop his semen out to be replaced with yours, thus ensuring the continuation of your genes instead of his.
 
2013-12-07 02:19:58 AM

Almost Everybody Poops: I was told ( or ) was better.


) is better; ( is worse.
 
2013-12-07 02:23:04 AM
lewismarktwo: I'll never understand bragging about your dick on an internet forum.  Who are you trying to convince?

Well for me it's boredom.  I just finished boning my super hot swimsuit model girlfriend and now I'm here.
 
2013-12-07 02:28:49 AM

SirEattonHogg: lewismarktwo: I'll never understand bragging about your dick on an internet forum.  Who are you trying to convince?

Well for me it's boredom.  I just finished boning my super hot swimsuit model girlfriend and now I'm here.


"Sports Illustrated" is your girlfriend, lefty?
 
2013-12-07 02:35:01 AM
tbeatty:   lewismarktwo: I'll never understand bragging about your dick on an internet forum.  Who are you trying to convince?

Well for me it's boredom.  I just finished boning my super hot swimsuit model girlfriend and now I'm here.

"Sports Illustrated" is your girlfriend, lefty?



She lives in Canada, met her at Niagara Falls. You wouldn't know her.
 
2013-12-07 02:36:30 AM

lewismarktwo: I'll never understand bragging about your dick on an internet forum.  Who are you trying to convince?


I wonder the same about middle-aged men bragging about how much better they are than in their 20s, but they all want 20-something women...
 
2013-12-07 02:39:04 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: lewismarktwo: I'll never understand bragging about your dick on an internet forum.  Who are you trying to convince?

I wonder the same about middle-aged men bragging about how much better they are than in their 20s, but they all want 20-something women...


Well, duh.  Who wants a bang a used-up hag?
 
2013-12-07 02:39:35 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: 8=m===D
8==m==D
8===m=D
8==m==D
8=m===D
8==m==D
8===m=D
8==m==D
8=m===D
8==m==D~
8===m=D ~ ~
8==m==D  ~ ~~
8=m===D    ~~~


Wuhaha, awesome.
 
2013-12-07 02:49:17 AM
Does your c*ck hang low?
Does it wobble to and fro?
Can you tie it in a knot?
Can you tie it in a bow?
Can you throw it o'er your shoulder
Like a regimental soldier?
Does your c*ck hang low?
 
2013-12-07 02:50:21 AM

SirEattonHogg: tbeatty:   lewismarktwo: I'll never understand bragging about your dick on an internet forum.  Who are you trying to convince?

Well for me it's boredom.  I just finished boning my super hot swimsuit model girlfriend and now I'm here.

"Sports Illustrated" is your girlfriend, lefty?


She lives in Canada, met her at Niagara Falls. You wouldn't know her.


Meh.  No one else knows her either.
 
2013-12-07 02:50:23 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: lewismarktwo: I'll never understand bragging about your dick on an internet forum.  Who are you trying to convince?

I wonder the same about middle-aged men bragging about how much better they are than in their 20s, but they all want 20-something women...


Speak for yourself dumbass. A 20 something woman may be nicer to look at but that's about the only advantage they have at that age.The experience, knowledge of what works for them in bed, better knowledge of what men actually want in bed and being less self conscious and less inhibited in the sack tend to make women in their 30s on into their 40s make for much better dates and sexual encounters. I can deal with them not having the bodies they did in their 20s. But then again I wouldn't expect someone like you of all people to understand anything deeper than "Young women are pretty."
 
2013-12-07 02:54:19 AM

Kaleon: I read somewhere that a slight curve is intended by evolution because if you insert immediately right after another man has finished, you will scoop his semen out to be replaced with yours, thus ensuring the continuation of your genes instead of his.


That's due to the shape of the head, not the curve of the pole that puts it there.
 
2013-12-07 02:55:47 AM

dangelder: <penis>


</penis>


So are you telling us you've got nothing in the middle? I'm sorry for your loss.
 
2013-12-07 03:05:47 AM
This article was relevant to my needs until i read about the procedures...

If i have to choose my dick being impaled by needles then "molded" by a contraption and a bent dick

ill keep my bent dick

i might have a near 90 degree bend, but every lady i've been with has loved it so why change it just cause it don't look like the guys in porn?
 
2013-12-07 03:17:42 AM
tbeatty:   lewismarktwo: I'll never understand bragging about your dick on an internet forum.  Who are you trying to convince?

Well for me it's boredom.  I just finished boning my super hot swimsuit model girlfriend and now I'm here.

"Sports Illustrated" is your girlfriend, lefty?


She lives in Canada, met her at Niagara Falls. You wouldn't know her.

Meh.  No one else knows her either.


Wooosh! The sound of an airplane going over your head.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-07 03:24:22 AM

Enigmamf: Almost Everybody Poops: I was told ( or ) was better.

) is better; ( is worse.


Depends on whether the female of the party likes doggy-style or missionary better. ;)
 
2013-12-07 03:30:14 AM
Joking aside, if you define your self worth by the appearance of your dick then I pity you.
 
2013-12-07 03:38:08 AM

Lsherm: I may not have the longest dong, but I'm extremely happy with two things:  it's straight as an arrow and it has very good girth.  Whenever I see a porno and the guy's dick bends upward or sideways like a jai alai cesta it makes me cringe.


This is the way I feel, though the nice, straight, thick one is not my penis (I don't have one, just get to borrow and play with it every now and then).
 
2013-12-07 03:40:23 AM

Lsherm: o'really: Lsherm: I may not have the longest dong, but I'm extremely happy with two things:  it's straight as an arrow and it has very good girth.  Whenever I see a porno and the guy's dick bends upward or sideways like a jai alai cesta it makes me cringe.

Curved upwards is the best.

meh, my giant head makes up for it.  And it's giant.  A squirrel couldn't get my acorn into a tree.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-07 03:46:59 AM

Geordles: Silly me did a Google image search for "Peyronie's disease" (NSFW)


Oh jesus christ dude. Put that shiat away!
 
2013-12-07 04:09:53 AM
 
2013-12-07 04:12:18 AM

lewismarktwo: I'll never understand bragging about your dick on an internet forum.  Who are you trying to convince?


Your mom?

/Had to be done
//Just like your mom
 
2013-12-07 05:07:36 AM

Enigmamf: Almost Everybody Poops: I was told ( or ) was better.

) is better; ( is worse.


I thought that was > and <
 
2013-12-07 05:08:50 AM

Prophet of Loss: Joking aside, if you define your self worth by the appearance of your dick then I pity you.


My junk looks and performs well above all known standards. The rest of me, however...
 
2013-12-07 05:42:53 AM
If your partner likes it, it's a good penis.
If your partner doesn't like it, s/he will likely find a new partner.

Ingrown toe nail removal, however, is excruciating. Navy corpsmen extracted mine multiple times, never with enough local.
 
2013-12-07 05:54:22 AM
Hmm, I see doctors are learning to prey on the insecurities of men as well as women now. Unless the curve is so severe you can't fit it into anyone's vagina easily there really is no problem. Sex toy stores usually have a few curved selections so some women/gay men? must prefer them.
 
2013-12-07 06:10:45 AM

Lsherm: DreamSnipers: "A course of treatment consists of eight injections and four "penile modeling procedure[s]."
 I am willing to bet those injections are not in the butt. And damn if I know what a Penile modeling procedure is. But since it is a medical procedure you can bet it is either extremely uncomfortable or extremely painful.

I'm imagining orthodontia for the cock.


I've got a visual of 2 large popsicle sticks and some tight elastic bandage.
 
2013-12-07 06:16:28 AM

Lsherm: I'm imagining orthodontia for the cock.


D*ck braces, lol.
 
2013-12-07 07:23:02 AM
www.propertycasualty360.com
 
2013-12-07 07:36:24 AM
There was a young man from Kent,
Whose dick in the middle was bent.
To save himself trouble,
He put it in double.
Instead of coming he went.
 
2013-12-07 07:42:47 AM

Almost Everybody Poops: I was told ( or ) was better.


This. That hot Italian girl I dated when I was 19 was the first to ever comment on why.

/bunk, etc
 
2013-12-07 07:45:08 AM

White_Scarf_Syndrome: Marcus Aurelius: All human penises lean to one side or the other.

But enough about the politics tab!

The male member (glans) will lean toward the left if the male in question masturbates with his right hand.  It will lean to the right if he is left handed.

If it is centered, he lost both arms as a child.  This will be easy to recognize.


Mine leans left and I use the left.  My right hand is mah clickin' hand!

Slight curvature up which I think has only helped with G-Spot contact.

This is the thread where we all talk about our dicks right?

Please always lock your seats in place guys.

[img.fark.net image 500x375]


It's all about hitting that G-spot.
 
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