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(The American Prospect)   "I was raised hearing that you'd be allowing demonic influences into your house if you watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"   (prospect.org) divider line 173
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7353 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Dec 2013 at 4:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-06 04:35:08 PM  
Well, they were right, weren't they?
 
2013-12-06 04:36:39 PM  
Christ, whoever put together that page must have been homeschooled in HTML.
 
2013-12-06 04:42:01 PM  
And Christians want to impose this fundamentalist "law" on everyone.
Please tell your legislators that you support a bill amending the constitution to BAN Christian Law.
 
2013-12-06 04:42:59 PM  
Hah.  If you really want to hear the bizarre side of fundie-ville, look into the really bizarre fascination the Jehova's witnesses had with the demonic influence of..... *drum roll*  ...Smurfs.

There's tons and tons of old Jehova's Witnesses webpages out there still, detailing the evils of the Smurfs, and personal accounts of them coming off the TV or animating toys to try to corrupt children.

Reality is so much weirder than fiction.
 
2013-12-06 04:43:29 PM  

Begoggle: And Christians want to impose this fundamentalist "law" on everyone.
Please tell your legislators that you support a bill amending the constitution to BAN Christian Law.


This seems more about crazy people than Christianity.

No matter the spin put on it.
 
2013-12-06 04:44:19 PM  
I got the same sort of thing regarding He Man and the Masters of the Universe.  Apparently one of the characters used witch craft or something.  I don't know, really.  I wasn't allowed to watch it.  Oh, and some missionaries in Africa were playing (gasp) rock and roll records and some of the natives flipped out because the drum beats in the songs were identical to those used to summon demons by neighboring tribes.  Oh, and let's not even get started on back-masking.  Yeah, it was a nutty house to grow up in.
 
2013-12-06 04:44:57 PM  

sendtodave: This seems more about crazy people than Christianity.


Yes.  Yes indeed.
 
2013-12-06 04:46:17 PM  
Yikes.
 
2013-12-06 04:48:21 PM  
Grew up with a fundie mother. Once I was out of the house, I was done with the crazy.
 
2013-12-06 04:49:03 PM  
Holy shiat.

This goes on in our nation.  We should be ashamed.

And we should put an end to it.

NOW.
 
2013-12-06 04:50:44 PM  
[homeschooled-wife.jpg]
 
2013-12-06 04:51:37 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: I got the same sort of thing regarding He Man and the Masters of the Universe.  Apparently one of the characters used witch craft or something.  I don't know, really.  I wasn't allowed to watch it.


If you use magic the way Orko did, you really are asking for trouble..
 
2013-12-06 04:52:13 PM  
I was raised in a devout Mormon family. While I wasn't home schooled, I was required, as is typical for Mormon children, to rise very early in the morning, and go to an hour long church indoctrination class every day before school.  This was in addition to the regular three hour block of meetings that ran every Sunday, the once weekly 1-2 hour Wednesday night meeting that was held every Wednesday without fail, and the one hour fireside meeting that was held one Sunday night a month.  Oh and also in the church, Mormons must spend every Monday night together as a family discussing church as part of their Family Home Evening, and once a month, two male representatives would come to your house to give you a lesson, as well as to check up on how you were doing.  If you had women in your household, there would be an additional two female representatives coming by to talk just to them, as well as check up on how things were going.  This was all in addition to your daily requirement of personal prayers and scripture study.  Your entire life was focused on church.

Of my seven brothers and sisters, me and three others left the church.  It is hell thinking about hell all the time, and the internet gave us the opportunity that previous generations of Mormons could not do.  We could anonymously research the facts of our religion, and learn its true history for itself.  After finding out that DNA proves American-Indians came from east-Asians and not ancient Jews, and how Joseph Smith liked to sleep with 14 year olds after telling them Angels with a flaming sword would kill them if they didn't consent, I realized the church was wrong.  So did a lot of other people.

And the more religion clutches its fists, and tries to hold you in, that just adds to the misery, and the desire to find a way out of the constant depression and paranoia that you are not somehow good enough.  You see the light of freedom, shining through the cracks, and you leap for it.
 
2013-12-06 04:53:27 PM  
Yeah, Religion is a farked up thing.

Really, really farked up
 
2013-12-06 04:54:05 PM  

MrEricSir: Christ, whoever put together that page must have been homeschooled in HTML.


Yeah, but their teeth are real, and they are fabulous.
 
2013-12-06 04:54:25 PM  

Cpl.D: Hah.  If you really want to hear the bizarre side of fundie-ville, look into the really bizarre fascination the Jehova's witnesses had with the demonic influence of..... *drum roll*  ...Smurfs.

There's tons and tons of old Jehova's Witnesses webpages out there still, detailing the evils of the Smurfs, and personal accounts of them coming off the TV or animating toys to try to corrupt children.

Reality is so much weirder than fiction.


In their defense, one can make a pretty good case that Smurfs are Nazis: http://www.cracked.com/article_19673_6-insane-but-convincing-theories - childrens-pop-culture_p2.html
 
2013-12-06 04:54:43 PM  

vudukungfu: Yeah, Religion is a farked up thing.

Really, really farked up


Well, it's not like this is the norm.
 
2013-12-06 04:56:04 PM  
I once read that if you played Vanilla Ice's "Ninja Rap" song backwards, it opens up a portal, Dimension X, I believe it is called, and Krang and Shredder will rape you while Bebop and Rocksteady use your bible to roll joints.
 
2013-12-06 04:56:45 PM  
I wasn't homeschooled, and yet my parents told me weird things as well.  I wasn't allowed to watch Simpsons, Back to the Future and a long list of other things.  My dad was pissed when I started watching South Park later, but even though I was still in his house he didn't dare say anything; I was paying for the cable.  I don't watch South Park now, but that is my choice.  My younger son's birthday is this weekend, I rented the Back to the Future trilogy and Pacific Rim.  I make sure he sees the old stuff along with the new.

/The only weird thing I told him, "Watch Back to the Future 2 and you'll see what 2015 will look like."

//he just shook his head.
 
2013-12-06 05:01:19 PM  
I was only homeschooled for 2 years, and my mom was not a complete psycho, but a lot of this does sound familiar. There were a few years where we stopped celebrating Christmas (it's a pagan holiday,) and woe be unto you if you liked any fiction franchise that contained magic. (Magic power comes from demons, you see.)

I didn't fully shake off the fundamentalism until I was in grad school, but fortunately it didn't take as long for my brothers and sisters. I know a relatively large number of kids who were homeschooled exclusively, and the vast majority of them made it out. There's nothing quite like 20 years of steeping in that kind of environment with a childlike sincerity to help you realize how full of shiat it is.
 
2013-12-06 05:02:07 PM  
For Ryan Stollar and many other ex-homeschoolers, debate club changed everything. The lessons in critical thinking, he says, undermined Farris's dream of creating thousands of eloquent new advocates for the homeschooling cause. "You can't do debate unless you teach people how to look at different sides of an issue, to research all the different arguments that could be made for and against something," Stollar says. "And so all of a sudden, debate as a way to create culture-war soldiers backfires. They go into this being well trained, they start questioning something neutral like energy policy, but it doesn't stop there. They start questioning everything."

I find it really hilarious that someone who was looking to create a generation of cultural warriors trained from birth to think a certain way would believe that training them to be excellent debaters would be a good way to accomplish this goal.
 
2013-12-06 05:03:36 PM  

sendtodave: This seems more about crazy people than Christianity.


Remember that religion is a convenient way to mask mental disorders. If I marched down the street right now jabbering about Lord Kimbaugh and the Lava Monkeys they'd lock me up for observation. If I did the same with a cross and a bullhorn I'd merely be heckled or just plain ignored. Nothing is "crazy" once you apply a coat of established religion over it.

As a threadjack, there's a wingnut here in New Orleans who drags his cross around town during larger festivals. Thing is, his cross has tiny wheels on it, like those on your rolling luggage, painted white to blend with the cross. Did Christ have the benefit of wheels? Hell no.
 
2013-12-06 05:06:13 PM  
Is it a sin to be a master debater?
 
2013-12-06 05:06:18 PM  

MrEricSir: Christ, whoever put together that page must have been homeschooled in HTML.


ha, couldn't say it better myself

/made better sites for high school projects
 
2013-12-06 05:06:59 PM  

jayhawk88: I find it really hilarious that someone who was looking to create a generation of cultural warriors trained from birth to think a certain way would believe that training them to be excellent debaters would be a good way to accomplish this goal.


i kind of follow the logic behind it. the idea (as i read it) was that by the time you introduce them to the debate aspect, they are so indoctrinated that they will dismiss the contrary arguments out of hand, while still developing the skills necessary to sway the masses. Also, i would assume the people who bought into this homeschooling idea were themselves the 'true believer' types. When you believe that there is a super powered all mighty being who is personally taking a hand in your actions, its much easier to be blind to the possibility that others may not draw the same conclusions that you do from the same information.
 
2013-12-06 05:07:02 PM  

Cpl.D: Hah.  If you really want to hear the bizarre side of fundie-ville, look into the really bizarre fascination the Jehova's witnesses had with the demonic influence of..... *drum roll*  ...Smurfs.

There's tons and tons of old Jehova's Witnesses webpages out there still, detailing the evils of the Smurfs, and personal accounts of them coming off the TV or animating toys to try to corrupt children.

Reality is so much weirder than fiction.


I went to college with someone who very much believed that. She was, naturally, home-schooled in a strict, fundamentalist family. I'm actually surprised they let her go to college. They probably thought it was still a "Christian" college even though it had cut ties to any church many years before. She had a lot of trouble relating to people and had very little sense of what was appropriate out in public, especially when it came to talking about demonic influences. (Think Daisy from the show Bones and you'll have a good idea about who she was.)

The issue with homeschooling, I've come to understand, that there aren't that many secular, non-religious resources for parents. It's so easy to become sucked down the rabbit hole and join the echo chamber. And sadly, it's screwing up a lot of children.
 
2013-12-06 05:08:36 PM  
I was raised hearing that you would grow hair on your palms and go blind if you tossed off too much. I never have found out what was "too much" and not from a lack of trying.
 
2013-12-06 05:08:48 PM  

Cpl.D: Hah.  If you really want to hear the bizarre side of fundie-ville, look into the really bizarre fascination the Jehova's witnesses had with the demonic influence of..... *drum roll*  ...Smurfs.

There's tons and tons of old Jehova's Witnesses webpages out there still, detailing the evils of the Smurfs, and personal accounts of them coming off the TV or animating toys to try to corrupt children.

Reality is so much weirder than fiction.


blog.questia.com
 
2013-12-06 05:09:16 PM  

jayhawk88: For Ryan Stollar and many other ex-homeschoolers, debate club changed everything. The lessons in critical thinking, he says, undermined Farris's dream of creating thousands of eloquent new advocates for the homeschooling cause. "You can't do debate unless you teach people how to look at different sides of an issue, to research all the different arguments that could be made for and against something," Stollar says. "And so all of a sudden, debate as a way to create culture-war soldiers backfires. They go into this being well trained, they start questioning something neutral like energy policy, but it doesn't stop there. They start questioning everything."

I find it really hilarious that someone who was looking to create a generation of cultural warriors trained from birth to think a certain way would believe that training them to be excellent debaters would be a good way to accomplish this goal.


This sort of thing is really common. While "Christian apologetics" is full of pretty specious argumentation, a lot of people get into it believing that if they have the truth on their side, that they have nothing to fear from a lie, and that learning the arguments of your opponents will help you argue more effectively. As Bob Altemeyer once commented, when you teach kids over and over that standing up for the Truth no matter how much the world laughs at you is the most important thing you can do, and they suddenly discover that the religion/culture they've been raised in isn't actually as well-supported as they thought, these kids are not going to be content to just "go along with it" because it's comforting or to keep peace with their families.
 
2013-12-06 05:09:52 PM  

sendtodave: Begoggle: And Christians want to impose this fundamentalist "law" on everyone.
Please tell your legislators that you support a bill amending the constitution to BAN Christian Law.

This seems more about crazy people than Christianity.



Yes. It's more about crazy people than it is about people who believe a deity magically impregnated a human woman, who gave birth to a demigod, who magically turned things into other things before being killed and later resurrected to magically save everyone else from "sin", as dictated by the deity.

You have a good point there.
 
2013-12-06 05:10:47 PM  

dickfreckle: Lord Kimbaugh and the Lava Monkeys



Newsletter plz.  Sounds a lot better than those Watchtower things that get left on my front porch.  RIGHT UNDER THE BUDDHIST PRAYER FLAGS.
 
2013-12-06 05:11:26 PM  
I went to grade school with a girl that spouted this crap.  No matter what toy someone brought to school, she knew how the toy was bad for you.  Transformers channeled demons.  G. I. Joe worshiped false gods. The Smurfs practiced witchcraft. Which is funny in itself because Gargamels "spells" always backfired.
 
2013-12-06 05:11:28 PM  
i.imgur.com

One year, we dressed up as Bebop & Rocksteady for halloween.

Met three groups dressed as Ninja Turtles.

None of them knew who we were.

/old
/sad
 
2013-12-06 05:13:19 PM  

Whodat: I was raised hearing that you would grow hair on your palms and go blind if you tossed off too much. I never have found out what was "too much" and not from a lack of trying


When I was about 13, my eyes were getting bad enough that I would soon need glasses. Right around that time I heard the rumor that giving yourself the old low five would make you blind. My very first panic attack.
 
2013-12-06 05:15:46 PM  
i169.photobucket.com

Obligatory
 
2013-12-06 05:16:29 PM  
One of the first acts of the American Revolution was the teenage Patrick Henry arguing in court against the "Parson's Cause", which would have tacitly made the Anglican Church the state church of the Virginia colony.  Henry argued successfully for religious freedom, and for church-state separation.

I'm not sure what Henry would have thought about having his name tied with a religious fundamentalist college.

Oh, and if there's mention of Quivering Christians, this is pretty much obligatory:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5evsxRdkJw
 
2013-12-06 05:16:31 PM  

ZeroCorpse: sendtodave: Begoggle: And Christians want to impose this fundamentalist "law" on everyone.
Please tell your legislators that you support a bill amending the constitution to BAN Christian Law.

This seems more about crazy people than Christianity.


Yes. It's more about crazy people than it is about people who believe a deity magically impregnated a human woman, who gave birth to a demigod, who magically turned things into other things before being killed and later resurrected to magically save everyone else from "sin", as dictated by the deity.

You have a good point there.


Caught one!

"All religion is crazy!"

/proceed
 
2013-12-06 05:18:15 PM  

weltallica: One year, we dressed up as Bebop & Rocksteady for halloween.

Met three groups dressed as Ninja Turtles.

None of them knew who we were.

/old
/sad


That is sad. I bet that would make Baxter pissed
 
2013-12-06 05:19:32 PM  
FTFA: More disturbing, they said that if she didn't eat meat for dinner she'd wake up to find one of the pets she babied gone. To most people, it would have sounded like overreaction to innocuous forms of teenage rebellion.

Ummm.... No. That sounds like a controlling abusive asshole no matter what.
 
2013-12-06 05:24:48 PM  

sendtodave: ZeroCorpse: sendtodave: Begoggle: And Christians want to impose this fundamentalist "law" on everyone.
Please tell your legislators that you support a bill amending the constitution to BAN Christian Law.

This seems more about crazy people than Christianity.


Yes. It's more about crazy people than it is about people who believe a deity magically impregnated a human woman, who gave birth to a demigod, who magically turned things into other things before being killed and later resurrected to magically save everyone else from "sin", as dictated by the deity.

You have a good point there.

Caught one!

"All religion is crazy!"


I didn't say that. I merely described what Christians believe. It seems to me that YOU are the one that read what Christianity believes and then said "all religion is crazy!" in response to it.
 
2013-12-06 05:27:17 PM  
I remember sitting in church one day, listening to a sermon about the dangers of modern society.   They had a presentation!  We had pictures of Iron Maden album covers (all of which I owned),  evil cartoon characters trying to subvert our souls, and other such things.  When it got close to the end, there was a slide that said

"The Most Dangerous Person in America"

And the preacher went on and on about how evil and awful and terrible and sinful this person was.  I couldn't wait to find out.

So imagine my disappointment when the slide flipped and it was....

Prince.

Seriously.  This dude thought Prince was the most dangerous man in America.   This was even during the Purple Rain years, when he was extra fruity.
 
2013-12-06 05:30:41 PM  
You think that's bad? My in-laws voted for Pat Buchanan.
 
2013-12-06 05:32:01 PM  
My mother was kind of like this when I was growing up, but not nearly that extreme.  We weren't allowed to watch He-Man or play The Legend of Zelda or listen to rock music, but we did it anyway.  Fortunately, she's a lot cooler now that she's grown up :)

But anyway, this is why the Idiocracy meme fails.  There's always going to be lateral movement back and forth between social groups no matter how much people try to prevent it.
 
2013-12-06 05:41:01 PM  
Yeah and you didn't listen and now Michael Bay is making a movie!
I blame you for all the pain it will cause.
 
2013-12-06 05:46:19 PM  

jayhawk88: For Ryan Stollar and many other ex-homeschoolers, debate club changed everything. The lessons in critical thinking, he says, undermined Farris's dream of creating thousands of eloquent new advocates for the homeschooling cause. "You can't do debate unless you teach people how to look at different sides of an issue, to research all the different arguments that could be made for and against something," Stollar says. "And so all of a sudden, debate as a way to create culture-war soldiers backfires. They go into this being well trained, they start questioning something neutral like energy policy, but it doesn't stop there. They start questioning everything."

I find it really hilarious that someone who was looking to create a generation of cultural warriors trained from birth to think a certain way would believe that training them to be excellent debaters would be a good way to accomplish this goal.


That's kind of how I was except with science instead of debate.  Once you start relegating God to the gaps, it's hard to stop.
 
2013-12-06 05:50:00 PM  
My Aunt's brood were raised like this.

They all have kids, divorces, drive drunk and you name it. But they don't let their kids watch spongebob.

When I questioned why (and I mean it is hardcore hate of the show) they seemed to have reasons but were too ashamed to say them out loud. The best they would vocalize was 'it isn't about amything, so it wastes the kid's time' but they watch all sorts of retarded crap kids shows other than that.

I suspect my aunt told them it would gay up their kids, but they didn't want to admit to being ignorant bigots.
 
2013-12-06 05:50:23 PM  

Cpl.D: Hah. If you really want to hear the bizarre side of fundie-ville, look into the really bizarre fascination the Jehova's witnesses had with the demonic influence of..... *drum roll* ...Smurfs.


It's like about Krishna. You know, like Smurfs are blue. And he's saying that Smurfs are, like, getting kids used to seeing blue people. And it's like, you know, with Smurfs being blue... kids see blue people, they, like, relate to Smurfs. And they relate to blue people when Krishna comes about, you know. And, I don't know, I kind of agree with that.
 
2013-12-06 05:53:41 PM  

sendtodave: ZeroCorpse: sendtodave: Begoggle: And Christians want to impose this fundamentalist "law" on everyone.
Please tell your legislators that you support a bill amending the constitution to BAN Christian Law.

This seems more about crazy people than Christianity.


Yes. It's more about crazy people than it is about people who believe a deity magically impregnated a human woman, who gave birth to a demigod, who magically turned things into other things before being killed and later resurrected to magically save everyone else from "sin", as dictated by the deity.

You have a good point there.

Caught one!

"All religion is crazy!"

/proceed


I don't know about crazy, but certainly irrational.
 
2013-12-06 05:58:03 PM  

Mentat: My mother was kind of like this when I was growing up, but not nearly that extreme.  We weren't allowed to watch He-Man or play The Legend of Zelda or listen to rock music, but we did it anyway.  Fortunately, she's a lot cooler now that she's grown up :)

But anyway, this is why the Idiocracy meme fails.  There's always going to be lateral movement back and forth between social groups no matter how much people try to prevent it.


My parents wouldn't let me watch the Simpsons.

To be fair, the first few seasons weren't so great. When it became less "Bart the underachiever" and funny, they changed their minds.

That is my cool story for today.
 
2013-12-06 06:00:29 PM  
So, fundies are incompetent at social engineering.
 
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