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(Opposing Views)   Child accidentally swallows six rare-earth magnets. And by "child," I mean "teenager who will be driving on the same roads as you in slightly more than a year"   (opposingviews.com) divider line 111
    More: Dumbass, rare-earth magnet, roads  
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7351 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Dec 2013 at 10:59 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



111 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-06 10:06:14 AM  
So she knew they were potentially deadly if swallowed and decided the best place to store them was her mouth?!

Darwin hits a foul ball.
 
2013-12-06 10:14:07 AM  
Well twiddley dee, twiddley dum
Look out E.R. 'cause here I come
 
2013-12-06 10:27:51 AM  
Now she just wants to celebrate another day of livin'.
 
2013-12-06 10:46:34 AM  
ABC News reported that the rare-earth magnets were "so powerful that Christin could magically pull a pen up the wall while standing in a neighboring classroom at school."

Farking magnets, how do they work?
 
2013-12-06 11:01:36 AM  
Rare earth? Just another example of this mud ball telling us to leave! Onwards, species! Ad astra!
 
2013-12-06 11:01:39 AM  
Well the term child is an ever evolving term. For the purposes of insurance childhood lasts into the mid twenties, for voting it's 18, for sex it's anywhere from 16- 18, but if you kill someone in a couple of states it could be defined as low as 14!.


I see no problem with calling a 15 year old a child.
 
2013-12-06 11:03:10 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-06 11:03:27 AM  
cdn.uproxx.com
 
2013-12-06 11:03:37 AM  
As long as no other ferrous materials are swallowed, this too shall pass.
 
2013-12-06 11:04:06 AM  
How did they accidentally get in her mouth? I swallowed a quarter at school once while being stupid (I was pretending that I was eating them as a joke, had three quarters in my mouth and one slid back and I swallowed it) but at least I had the excuse of being in the first grade at the time. It got hung in my throat and I had to leave school to go to the hospital to have it removed. Fun times.
 
2013-12-06 11:04:45 AM  

EvilEgg: As long as no other ferrous materials are swallowed, this too shall pass.


Yeah, and when they stick to each other through folds in the intestines? What then Einstein?
 
2013-12-06 11:05:02 AM  
When I was 15 I accidentally swallowed a dime. Today I've got a PhD in engineering. Go figure...
 
2013-12-06 11:05:04 AM  
According to ABC News, the 14-year-old is now home and "doing well," says her mother, Barbara, who would like to see the magnets banned. "They are an attractive nuisance, like a swimming pool with no fence around it or leaving the keys in the car when kids are around," said Barbara. "You can't cite a kid for being a kid. That's what they do. Parents should be aware of the potential dangers."

Fark you, lady. 'Being aware of potential dangers' doesn't mean 'BAN EVERYTHING THAT MY DUMBASS KID COULD HURT HERSELF WITH!'. Maybe you should've raised your child *not* to be a dumbass?
 
2013-12-06 11:06:13 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: EvilEgg: As long as no other ferrous materials are swallowed, this too shall pass.

Yeah, and when they stick to each other through folds in the intestines? What then Einstein?


Yes, one magnet is not so bad; 2 can be life-threatening.
 
2013-12-06 11:07:30 AM  
Just stick the kid in an MRI - they'd have those magnets out right-quick.
 
2013-12-06 11:08:04 AM  
I thought the rule of Fark is that Florida tag trumps all others.
 
2013-12-06 11:08:10 AM  

The Onion is prophetic: ABC News reported that the rare-earth magnets were "so powerful that Christin could magically pull a pen up the wall while standing in a neighboring classroom at school."

Farking magnets, how do they work?


Magically!
 
2013-12-06 11:08:22 AM  
According to ABC News, the 14-year-old is now home and "doing well," says her mother, Barbara, who would like to see the magnets banned.

Oh, for fark's sake.  Why must everything be banned?  Why can't you just teach your child not to be so farking stupid?!
 
2013-12-06 11:09:27 AM  

Hand Banana: How did they accidentally get in her mouth? I swallowed a quarter at school once while being stupid (I was pretending that I was eating them as a joke, had three quarters in my mouth and one slid back and I swallowed it) but at least I had the excuse of being in the first grade at the time. It got hung in my throat and I had to leave school to go to the hospital to have it removed. Fun times.


She went to the restroom and put them in her mouth so she didn't have to put them on the floor.  Then someone made her laugh and she swallowed them.
 
2013-12-06 11:10:48 AM  
TIL magnets are not amazing or epic to eat.
 
2013-12-06 11:11:14 AM  
From the ABC article (autoplay video warning) linked within the useless opposing views retread:

After she was called by the school, Christin's mother, Barbara Rivas, did a quick computer search, realized how dangerous the magnets were and rushed Christin to the local hospital but was told to go home and wait until they passed.
"I didn't like what I saw on Google," said Rivas, a 52-year-old mother of five. "They said you have to get them out before three hours or they get really dangerous."
What the emergency room told her "just didn't seem right," said Rivas, so she called the CDC, which told her to get a "get a second opinion."


I know doctors really hate it when patients do their own research on the internets, but Jebus,  they told her to go home and wait till they passed? Unbelievable.  Had they acted immediately they might have been able to retrieve them  without cutting out part of her bowels.  I'd be talking to a lawyer, stat.
 
2013-12-06 11:11:18 AM  

jshine: Quantum Apostrophe: EvilEgg: As long as no other ferrous materials are swallowed, this too shall pass.

Yeah, and when they stick to each other through folds in the intestines? What then Einstein?

Yes, one magnet is not so bad; 2 can be life-threatening.


Shouldn't they have immediately stuck together in her stomach? There's nothing in a teenage girl's alimentary tract capable of separating two powerful magnets.

/I did my research in my youth.
//consider the first and last six inches thoroughly charted
 
2013-12-06 11:12:07 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: EvilEgg: As long as no other ferrous materials are swallowed, this too shall pass.

Yeah, and when they stick to each other through folds in the intestines? What then Einstein?


Peritonitis?
 
2013-12-06 11:12:25 AM  
Why didn't they just stick a large magnet near her butt and let this event work its way out.

She really needed to go though airport screening for the keepsake screenshots a few times before heading to the hospital.
 
2013-12-06 11:12:44 AM  
Well at least she will always know which way is north.
 
2013-12-06 11:12:53 AM  

The Onion is prophetic: Hand Banana: How did they accidentally get in her mouth? I swallowed a quarter at school once while being stupid (I was pretending that I was eating them as a joke, had three quarters in my mouth and one slid back and I swallowed it) but at least I had the excuse of being in the first grade at the time. It got hung in my throat and I had to leave school to go to the hospital to have it removed. Fun times.

She went to the restroom and put them in her mouth so she didn't have to put them on the floor.  Then someone made her laugh and she swallowed them.


I guess she hasn't heard of pockets.
 
2013-12-06 11:12:53 AM  
She and her mother are two reasons why society is lagging.

The father is likely shivering in a line somewhere.
 
2013-12-06 11:13:15 AM  

The Onion is prophetic: Hand Banana: How did they accidentally get in her mouth? I swallowed a quarter at school once while being stupid (I was pretending that I was eating them as a joke, had three quarters in my mouth and one slid back and I swallowed it) but at least I had the excuse of being in the first grade at the time. It got hung in my throat and I had to leave school to go to the hospital to have it removed. Fun times.

She went to the restroom and put them in her mouth so she didn't have to put them on the floor.  Then someone made her laugh and she swallowed them.



farking pockets, how do they work?

Or since you have magnets attach them to your clothing.  JFC this isn't rocket science.
 
2013-12-06 11:13:19 AM  
Somehow I thought a story about a teen girl swallowing balls in a school bathroom might have been a little different.
 
2013-12-06 11:13:27 AM  

LordJiro: According to ABC News, the 14-year-old is now home and "doing well," says her mother, Barbara, who would like to see the magnets banned. "They are an attractive nuisance, like a swimming pool with no fence around it or leaving the keys in the car when kids are around," said Barbara. "You can't cite a kid for being a kid. That's what they do. Parents should be aware of the potential dangers."

Fark you, lady. 'Being aware of potential dangers' doesn't mean 'BAN EVERYTHING THAT MY DUMBASS KID COULD HURT HERSELF WITH!'. Maybe you should've raised your child *not* to be a dumbass?



Probably if you don't pay taxes, you shouldn't get to vote.
 
2013-12-06 11:13:36 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-06 11:14:02 AM  

Sybarite: Now she just wants to celebrate another day of livin'.


get ready
 
2013-12-06 11:14:33 AM  

hobnail: I know doctors really hate it when patients do their own research on the internets, but Jebus, they told her to go home and wait till they passed? Unbelievable. Had they acted immediately they might have been able to retrieve them without cutting out part of her bowels. I'd be talking to a lawyer, stat.


Yeah, a little ipecac could have solved the whole thing within an hour.
 
2013-12-06 11:16:00 AM  
I'm gonna save them some time and money and suggest they start looking at state schools.
 
2013-12-06 11:21:02 AM  
How is a rare earth magnet an attractive nuisance putting a teenager at risk for swallowing them?  My father's business involved scrap metal, I've seen all types of metal, and it has never occurred to me to swallow any of it.

/Mercury, on the other hand, is kind of fun to play with.
 
2013-12-06 11:22:17 AM  

KublaiKhan: According to ABC News, the 14-year-old is now home and "doing well," says her mother, Barbara, who would like to see the magnets banned.

Oh, for fark's sake.  Why must everything be banned?  Why can't you just teach your child not to be so farking stupid?!


For real.

Koodz: Shouldn't they have immediately stuck together in her stomach? There's nothing in a teenage girl's alimentary tract capable of separating two powerful magnets.


Time.
 
2013-12-06 11:24:26 AM  
Magnets, how the fark do they taste?
 
2013-12-06 11:26:44 AM  
HA HA! I read the entire article before the goddamned popup could load! I win!

/fark you, Opposing Views!
 
2013-12-06 11:26:46 AM  
This is why we can't have nice things.

/You can pry my buckyballs from my cold, dead hands.  Or use a piece of iron. Whatever works.
 
2013-12-06 11:27:20 AM  

BigMax: How is a rare earth magnet an attractive nuisance putting a teenager at risk for swallowing them?  My father's business involved scrap metal, I've seen all types of metal, and it has never occurred to me to swallow any of it.

/Mercury, on the other hand, is kind of fun to play with.


I'm guessing we should ban everything else that could harm someone by swallowing it.  Bye bye iPod Nanos, paper clips, pens, quarters, staples, smiley face buttons... and those are just the things sitting on my desk in front of me.
 
2013-12-06 11:28:06 AM  
someone made her laugh and she accidently swallowed them? I thought that only happened in sitcoms
 
2013-12-06 11:28:50 AM  

jshine: The Onion is prophetic: ABC News reported that the rare-earth magnets were "so powerful that Christin could magically pull a pen up the wall while standing in a neighboring classroom at school."

Farking magnets, how do they work?

Magically!


They're magically delicious.
 
2013-12-06 11:30:17 AM  
In my state you can get a license at 14, so you could be sharing the road with her already.
 
2013-12-06 11:32:36 AM  
Picture of the child:

i.dailymail.co.uk


(Note that the article never stated it was a human child)
 
2013-12-06 11:33:57 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: HA HA! I read the entire article before the goddamned popup could load! I win!

/fark you, Opposing Views!


Was it the "25 images that prove you're a perv!" popups? I farking hate those.

/OV sucks
//I click an OV link and go directly to the source instead
///They all have sources, because nothing is original
 
2013-12-06 11:34:48 AM  

Sybarite: Now she just wants to celebrate another day of livin'.


Wait, that's not the Doobie Brothers? Huh all this time...
 
2013-12-06 11:37:22 AM  
Ok couple things. First, she's from Melbourne, FL. So Subby missed a Florida tag by not actually reading the article.

Second, this is her fb:  Christin Rivas .

Third: To hell with banning something because your kid did something stupid with it. It's like banning mercury thermometers because some dumbass broke the glass and ingested the mercury.
 
2013-12-06 11:37:39 AM  

KublaiKhan: According to ABC News, the 14-year-old is now home and "doing well," says her mother, Barbara, who would like to see the magnets banned.

Oh, for fark's sake.  Why must everything be banned?  Why can't you just teach your child not to be so farking stupid?!


This stupid biatch of a mother should be banned from having kids in the first place.
 
2013-12-06 11:39:47 AM  

RussianPooper: Magnets, how the fark do they taste?



As regional rep for the candy-coated rare earth magnet cartel, I can reveal that the Peppermint flavored magnets are quite popular this season as stocking stuffers, dirt flavored magenet are "really in" with ironic hipsters, and for the rest of us: mango, watermellon, cherry, lime and "fridge flavor."
 
2013-12-06 11:40:35 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: KublaiKhan: According to ABC News, the 14-year-old is now home and "doing well," says her mother, Barbara, who would like to see the magnets banned.

Oh, for fark's sake.  Why must everything be banned?  Why can't you just teach your child not to be so farking stupid?!

For real.

Koodz: Shouldn't they have immediately stuck together in her stomach? There's nothing in a teenage girl's alimentary tract capable of separating two powerful magnets.

Time.


...is not a force. Where are we getting the force that separates them? They aren't going to spontaneously demagnetized.
 
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