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(UPI)   Once again we celebrate the Christmas season - with its lights, its carols, its nativity scenes, and... HOLY CRAP, SOMEONE STOLE JESUS AND MARY AGAIN   (upi.com) divider line 27
    More: Sad, Holy Crap, nativity scene, Christmas and holiday season, Christmas, Christmas carol, mangers, shepherds  
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1213 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Dec 2013 at 10:08 AM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-06 09:11:03 AM
first off, it was 4 statues taken.

secondly, this headline is better:

Jesus, Mary and Joseph missing from nativity in Quincy. Reports indicate that they may be on the lamb
 
2013-12-06 10:09:33 AM

HOLY CRAP, SOMEONE STOLE JESUS AND MARY AGAIN


They need to lock that stuff up with a Jesus and Mary Chain.
 
2013-12-06 10:10:02 AM
Maybe someone's making a chain.  *rimshot*
 
2013-12-06 10:10:49 AM
*shakes tiny fists of extreme impotence at Englebert Slaptyback*
 
2013-12-06 10:11:39 AM
Should have nailed him down.
 
2013-12-06 10:12:19 AM
And nails don't work on Mary, so screw her.
 
2013-12-06 10:14:27 AM
No shiat.  The holy family didn't arrive in the manger until Christmas Eve.  Damn, people are stupid.
 
2013-12-06 10:18:08 AM
 
2013-12-06 10:27:39 AM
Some christmassy masshole also lifted a garage full of toys collected by some elderly veterans for poor kids.
 
2013-12-06 10:29:53 AM
This reminds me of a story...

When my daughter Julia was about 3 or 4, it became her mission in life that Christmas to re-arrange the Nativity several times a day. We never saw her doing it but I would walk by and all of the animals would be having a confab off to one side or two of the wise men were arranged as though they were playing poker or something with a couple of the shepherds. It was actually pretty cute and since we have a pretty extensive nativity there were lots of possibilities. There are the three wise men and four shepherds I think and a couple of cows and some sheep and a couple of camels and of course Mary Jesus and Joseph.

One more thing is an angel. The angel is kind of special because there is a little spot for him to stand at the apex of the roof of the manger and he has his arms spread slightly with his palms outward. It sort of says "Behold!" the way he is standing there.

Are you following me so far?

Anyway, one morning I come in and the nativity is WAY different. Out in back of the manger is little ol' baby Jesus and all of the animals are surrounding him, all crowded in like they are trying to get a good look or whiff of this little human baby. Meanwhile, out front, the angel is now standing in the middle of a tiny Christmas angry mob. All of the humans are all up in his face and somehow Mary looks pretty pissed off. Instead of "Behold!" the angel now looks more like he's shrugging "How the hell should I know, he was here a minute ago!"
 
2013-12-06 10:29:55 AM
Speaking of the Jesus clan, this silly biatch I used to work with posted a picture of her, her husband and naked baby - she had a scarf over her head and he was dressed like Joseph (without the prerequisite Christmas pageant bathrobe) and labeled it Joseph and Mary.

Do you think I can have them stolen?
 
2013-12-06 10:31:52 AM
Is Joe Friday on the case?
 
2013-12-06 10:39:36 AM
I like going around and replacing all the white baby jesus's with black baby jesus's.
 
2013-12-06 10:43:11 AM
Well maybe the town shouldn't be spending taxpayer money to endorse a religion.

*grabs popcorn*
 
2013-12-06 10:44:41 AM
I wish somebody would booby-trap a manger in a high risk area, then put a webcam on it.  I'll be the results would be hilarious.
 
2013-12-06 10:55:02 AM
I live in Quincy, this happens every other year or so. Nativity scene located near large public transportation hub, homeless shelter, social security office and a high school. You do the math.
 
2013-12-06 11:06:13 AM

Englebert Slaptyback: HOLY CRAP, SOMEONE STOLE JESUS AND MARY AGAIN


They need to lock that stuff up with a Jesus and Mary Chain.


Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! They're stolen again!

What? What did they take?

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

/I had a 'who's on first' dialogue in mind, but it's about to crash out of the gate
 
2013-12-06 11:11:47 AM

Rex Kramer - Danger Seeker: I live in Quincy, this happens every other year or so. Nativity scene located near large public transportation hub, homeless shelter, social security office and a high school. You do the math.


The high school.
 
2013-12-06 11:20:17 AM

Wild Eyed and Wicked: Speaking of the Jesus clan, this silly biatch I used to work with posted a picture of her, her husband and naked baby - she had a scarf over her head and he was dressed like Joseph (without the prerequisite Christmas pageant bathrobe) and labeled it Joseph and Mary.

Do you think I can have them stolen?



No.  But if they posted a picture of their naked baby I'm sure some sort of authority types might have a problem with that...
 
2013-12-06 12:09:27 PM

Cold_Sassy: I wish somebody would booby-trap a manger in a high risk area, then put a webcam on it.  I'll be the results would be hilarious.


Especially the part where some little kid gets blown all to shiat when he lies down with baby Jeebus.  That would be HILARIOUS.
 
2013-12-06 12:17:38 PM

Billy Bathsalt: Some christmassy masshole also lifted a garage full of toys collected by some elderly veterans for poor kids.


Well, the baby Jesus statue needs something to play with, doesn't he?
 
2013-12-06 01:01:39 PM
Isn't stealing baby Jebuse a holiday tradition?
 
2013-12-06 02:10:30 PM

stuffy: Isn't stealing baby Jebuse a holiday tradition?


It is in Quincy.
 
2013-12-06 02:19:54 PM
My daughter told me this story about a little girl who wanted a bike for Christmas. She asks her mother, but her mother says she hasn't been very good and while she might get some things for Christmas, she may not get a bike. Her mother tells her to pray about.

The little girl kneels down to pray and starts to say,"Dear Jesus, I've been very good this year and I'd like a bike for Christmas." She realizes that's not exactly honest so she says, "Dear Jesus, I haven't been very good this year, but still, I' like a bike for Christmas." But she realizes this may not get her a bike either.

She asks her mother if she can go to the nearby church and pray there. Her mother, surprised that her daughter has taken her suggestion, says yes.

The next day, the church finds the Virgin Mary statue missing from their nativity and  note.

"Dear Jesus, I got your Mama. If you want to see her again, I better get a bike for Christmas."
 
2013-12-06 02:32:17 PM
31.media.tumblr.com

The suspects...
 
2013-12-06 02:34:28 PM
Okay, NOW it's officially the X-Mas season. :P
 
2013-12-06 10:34:13 PM

somedude210: first off, it was 4 statues taken.

secondly, this headline is better:

Jesus, Mary and Joseph missing from nativity in Quincy. Reports indicate that they may be on the lamb


I'm almost positive that headline runs every year.
 
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