If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Atlantic)   You can blame your work ethic on your parents, regardless of whether you're a workaholic or a lazy ass slacker with no career prospects   (theatlantic.com) divider line 45
    More: PSA, gender roles, empirical science, capitalist society  
•       •       •

3395 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Dec 2013 at 4:12 AM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-05 11:47:13 PM
If you blame your parents for the bad things, you have to give them credit for the good stuff.  That's a deal breaker.
 
2013-12-06 04:14:41 AM
Quit being work-a-holics... you're depressing your kids
 
2013-12-06 04:16:31 AM
Sounds good to me. Can I claim disability?
 
2013-12-06 04:19:48 AM
My mom was a hard worker. Lazy as hell at home. . .

/looks around.

Yeah, okay I'm not that far off.
 
2013-12-06 04:23:39 AM
I was an archetypical latch key kid and I turned out a lazy drunk who won't work for less than $50 an hour AND I GET IT!

Working on something that might go black swan for massive amounts of rum money.
 
2013-12-06 04:26:03 AM
What if you had one of each?
 
2013-12-06 04:30:19 AM
My parents were thieving gypsy vagabonds who never worked a day in their life. I became a tireless industrialist of high moral fiber to spite them.
/total BS
 
2013-12-06 04:34:01 AM

berylman: My parents were thieving gypsy vagabonds who never worked a day in their life. I became a tireless industrialist of high moral fiber to spite them.
/total BS


you have a Fark account... we know you don't have moral fiber. :P
 
2013-12-06 04:44:25 AM

berylman: My parents were thieving gypsy vagabonds who never worked a day in their life. I became a tireless industrialist of high moral fiber to spite them.
/total BS


One of these things is not like the other.
 
2013-12-06 04:56:30 AM
My mother is a workaholic, and always has to be working, volunteering for something for the kids, or otherwise planning and working on stuff at home. She's also always pissed off about having no free time. Me, I use the computer all day and attend college classes one at a time, as I have meltdowns if I take two at once from stress.

/sometimes the apple falls far from the tree, into an open air toxic waste dump
 
2013-12-06 05:04:29 AM

wildcardjack: I was an archetypical latch key kid and I turned out a lazy drunk who won't work for less than $50 an hour AND I GET IT!

me too

 
2013-12-06 05:10:06 AM
I blame my parents for my genes and sub-standard sense of humour... but not for my work ethic.
 
2013-12-06 05:20:32 AM
"When the study's participants were teenagers, mostly in the 1980s, men were more commonly employed outside of the home and were more likely than women to hold "career" jobs with opportunity for advancement."

Hmmm. So these results are based on outdated societal norms. Sucks to be a researcher. Thanks Mom and Dad!!!
 
2013-12-06 05:24:24 AM
My dad was a super workaholic, and my mom always worked pretty hard too in various different ventures (mostly as a teacher and as a real estate agent, but she tried out a few other things).  I have little motivation for work (if I'm working I want it done right, but a 4 day week is just fine for me), and I hate offices and paperwork so am pretty much out of the "white collar job" world. I should have know this pretty early on but kinda re-realized it too late.

Maybe I just smoked too much pot when I was younger, but fark me if I'll ever work like that. What's the point? A big house you never see? Getting to wave around your professional dick at other climbers? I will never have kids, so I don't need to do it for them.

That said, me and my brother are severe outliers. Most people I know who grew up middle class are now cheerfully doing the normal middle class life stuff, they have spouses and kids and careers and houses.
 
2013-12-06 05:32:43 AM
My father was just like a workaholic, only for booze.
 
2013-12-06 05:37:26 AM
I wouldn't put a lt of faith in this, parental influence might play some role, but I am guessing that just like everything else, genetics play a larger role. People who throw themselves into their work have a personality for it. Type As. I guess you could still blame your parents for passing on shiftless type B genes

/shiftless type B
 
2013-12-06 05:37:39 AM

doczoidberg: My father was just like a workaholic, only for booze.


Jeez. Sorry man. Boozaholics hurt not only themselves but everyone around them.
 
2013-12-06 05:59:48 AM
Or you can quit blaming people and take control of your life
 
2013-12-06 06:24:15 AM
Anecdotal BS:
TFA says that the father bears influence and I saw the opposite reaction between my siblings and I.

I have an older brother and sister. My dad was a workaholic when I was young/before I was born. When I turned about 12 my dad had a mid-life crisis and became a pizza delivery driver.

I am a materialistic workaholic, my brother is a music producer with hopes of being materialistic, and my sister is a redneck nurse. All 3 job relationships from the same household with the opposite father/adolescent relationship to support them.
 
2013-12-06 06:30:25 AM
My parents were deadbeats.  I'm on track to retire from a day job by 45.  I just decided that I wasn't going to end up like them.

Keep blaming other people for your shortcomings though.
 
2013-12-06 06:36:23 AM
In before racism?

Must be too early.

yes yes... I know. I'm the real racist blah blah fart fart.
 
2013-12-06 06:38:09 AM

stratagos: Or you can quit blaming people and take control of your life


Some people are genetically predisposed to certain behavior. My mother was relatively lazy, hugely depressed, and heavily sedated. Both of my sisters struggle with disabling depression. One of them can't hold down a job because the prospect of going outside every day overwhelms her. The other is a dispatcher for a tow company and will probably not change jobs until her current one goes out of business.

I'm fairing better in the income dept, but I have a terrible work ethic-sometimes no wanting to do projects because I'm worried I'll fail and let people down- and often won't ask people for help because in the back of my mind I'm worrying if they'll judge me. It can get pretty rough some days, especially in the winter.

Anyone who says 'just take control of your life' has no farking clue what some people go through.
 
2013-12-06 06:52:10 AM
My sister and I are complete opposites and always have been when it came to our approach to school and work.   My sample size of two flies in the face of this study using precious science.
 
2013-12-06 06:59:46 AM
My parents were not workaholics, but they were hard workers and they expected me to be, too. I have been working since I was 15 and unlike my peers, I had to work through college, too.

I used to resent my parents for making me work when it seemed like most of my friends (esp. the girls) didn't have to.

But now that I'm in my 30s, I am so grateful. I have a stellar job history and a great wortk ethic. I run my own business now, but I'm employable in many other fields. Compare that to the pretty pretty princesses I knew in college, whose goal was to get married, have kids, and have a husband to cater to them the way their daddies did. When those husbands got sick of the princess thing and left them, these women are now 20 years older, with kids to support, they have no job skills or experience, and are struggling to maintain the lifestyle they always felt entitled to. It is a hard shock for them and they have so little independence.

I tried to pull the princess thing recently with my husband and he's not having it, that bastard. I help pay the bills and run the house, we chose not to have kids (who can afford them? We couldn't until recently and now we're too happy and independent to want them), so we're doing alright. My best friend got divorced from his princess who wouldn't lift a finger to work or even help with their kids much, and now she's on Facebook begging for money from friends to pay for a trip to Disneyworld. (Get a job? Lol, she does not DO the "W" word - her words to me). (Of course, my friend went right out and found himself another princess with expensive tastes and habits, and SHE does not work either, and my friend is so broke that despite making 6 figures, I am the one who always has to pay for the beer. "But she's so pretty.")

/sorry for the tangent, I'm up too early
 
2013-12-06 07:10:57 AM

INeedAName: stratagos: Or you can quit blaming people and take control of your life

Some people are genetically predisposed to certain behavior. My mother was relatively lazy, hugely depressed, and heavily sedated. Both of my sisters struggle with disabling depression. One of them can't hold down a job because the prospect of going outside every day overwhelms her. The other is a dispatcher for a tow company and will probably not change jobs until her current one goes out of business.

I'm fairing better in the income dept, but I have a terrible work ethic-sometimes no wanting to do projects because I'm worried I'll fail and let people down- and often won't ask people for help because in the back of my mind I'm worrying if they'll judge me. It can get pretty rough some days, especially in the winter.

Anyone who says 'just take control of your life' has no farking clue what some people go through.


I stand by my statement. You've been dealt a crappy hand. You can choose to blame the dealer, or you can do the best you can with what you have.

That is not saying "go forth and do wonders, I dismiss your limitations as imaginary", that is "you're got limitations. You can biatch about it, or you can do the best you can *within* those limitations. biatching isn't going to make them go away."

We all have problems. Yours are more severe than mine. At the end of the day, however, they are *your problems* to deal with, and while can offer assistance, ultimately it's on you how you choose to solve them.
 
2013-12-06 07:23:36 AM
I suppose Obama has some real issues.
 
2013-12-06 07:28:22 AM
I'm the one dipshiat in my family who decided not to become a public school teacher. Good benefits, tenure, retire before 60 if you want, solid pension, community respect, summers off, mostly good students, mostly sane parents...nah.

Instead, let's go into a field like journalism where you work lunatic hours for mediocre pay and can be fired on a whim by some Ryan Bingham down at corporate 1200 miles away while internet wiseasses say things like "what's a newspaper again?", all because that cute girl who is NEVER gonna give you any is taking Journalism 101 as a stepping-stone to her six-figure career as a cable news whorebot.

But damned if isn't fun, plus I've had ringside seats for csb-worthy things like Bill Clinton covering for Boris Yeltsin being drunk off his ass at a summit meeting.
 
2013-12-06 07:31:10 AM
I'm a billionaire playboy, industrialist, and philanthropist. Having witnessed the murder of my parents as a child, I swore revenge on criminals...
 
2013-12-06 07:41:47 AM
I love how we've created a society where there's no personal accountability for anything.

Hey man I know I never really gave a shiat about anything but since my life is all farked up now because of it I'd really like it if you gave me free phones and healthcare and unemployment assistance and food stamps and pity and stuff. How dare you accuse me of being a load. I'm calling msnbc you racist catholic conservative right wing gun crazy homophobic selfish nut job.

/I'm getting a hang of this liberal thought process thing. Only in reverse.
 
2013-12-06 08:02:59 AM

stratagos: INeedAName: stratagos: Or you can quit blaming people and take control of your life

Some people are genetically predisposed to certain behavior. My mother was relatively lazy, hugely depressed, and heavily sedated. Both of my sisters struggle with disabling depression. One of them can't hold down a job because the prospect of going outside every day overwhelms her. The other is a dispatcher for a tow company and will probably not change jobs until her current one goes out of business.

I'm fairing better in the income dept, but I have a terrible work ethic-sometimes no wanting to do projects because I'm worried I'll fail and let people down- and often won't ask people for help because in the back of my mind I'm worrying if they'll judge me. It can get pretty rough some days, especially in the winter.

Anyone who says 'just take control of your life' has no farking clue what some people go through.

I stand by my statement. You've been dealt a crappy hand. You can choose to blame the dealer, or you can do the best you can with what you have.

That is not saying "go forth and do wonders, I dismiss your limitations as imaginary", that is "you're got limitations. You can biatch about it, or you can do the best you can *within* those limitations. biatching isn't going to make them go away."

We all have problems. Yours are more severe than mine. At the end of the day, however, they are *your problems* to deal with, and while can offer assistance, ultimately it's on you how you choose to solve them.


And I'm not saying anyone should curl up in a ball and do nothing with their lives. But to simply say 'overcome your shiat' is such an ignorant throw away statement that you might as well be a host on Fox and Friends.

I have my issues and I deal with them on a regular basis, and live a quite happy life in spite of them, but I don't begrudge people who can't get past theirs because I frankly have no effing clue what it's like for some people when they wake up thinking/feeling the way they do.
 
2013-12-06 08:13:27 AM
 
2013-12-06 08:20:39 AM
Probably the best life lesson I took away from my Dad over the years is the concept of effort efficiency. Get on top of the work before it gets on top of you. Show up on time, and don't leave early.  Stay organized (somewhat) so you don't waste time looking for shiat. Prioritize, and don't get bogged down in mouse-milking tasks.

Do these things BECAUSE you are lazy. Not in spite of.

As a well-educated, able-bodied white male in the USA...it doesn't take a whole shiat-ton of effort to maintain a respectable life. Just don't blow it.
 
2013-12-06 08:37:43 AM
My mom is a hard worker but (still!) makes up BS excuses to not go to work or social functions she committed to but doesn't want to do.

I was like that until I got fired the second time at 17 (first job at 14) and pissed off too many friends. That was one way I decided to not be like her. Despite some tough times personally when I was younger, I managed to stay employed because I showed up, shut up and did my job. Get there a little early, do more than is asked and be willing to learn is my work ethic now.

My dad moved 1000 miles away for work and hardly had anything to do with my sister and I because of his career. I've chosen jobs over the years that allow me to spend time with my kids and have a life outside of work.

TL;DR: I got the good work ethic but avoided my parents' pitfalls.
 
2013-12-06 08:40:21 AM
My dad is, has, and always will be a workaholic.  I've run as far as I could in the other direction with my career.  I make a decent salary, but I forgo working at a place that would pay me more and work me to the bone for a place that gives me a lot of days off and no overtime.  I would much rather have enough stuff and plenty of time with my family than spend all my time at work and have a ton of money that'd go to frivolous s*** or just in the bank to be untouched while I am miserable because I have no time to spend with my family (holy run on sentence there).  I discovered this a couple months into my first job- a job tailor-made for workaholics- when I realized that I didn't want to be working till 10pm and have no time to spend with my then-fiance or the kittens we'd adopted.  So I quit, and found a job that met what I was looking for.  Do not regret it at all.
 
2013-12-06 09:13:01 AM
What exactly CAN we blame the people who were basically responsible for our upbringing for? I wish my job was like that... sure I made some pile of crap that doesn't work and is full of problems but I'm not responsible.
 
2013-12-06 09:19:05 AM

OMG! We're All Gonna Die!: I love how we've created a society where there's no personal accountability for anything.

Hey man I know I never really gave a shiat about anything but since my life is all farked up now because of it I'd really like it if you gave me free phones and healthcare and unemployment assistance and food stamps and pity and stuff. How dare you accuse me of being a load. I'm calling msnbc you racist catholic conservative right wing gun crazy homophobic selfish nut job.

/I'm getting a hang of this liberal thought process thing. Only in reverse.


I think it's more like; Hey man, I can appreciate your hurt and problems... here's a hand up.

Not a very conservative idea since it's not based on shame and hate.
 
2013-12-06 10:43:12 AM
That means I'll work till I'm 70 before I retiire then Die 2 years after I do. Thanks Dad!
 
2013-12-06 11:01:16 AM

wildcardjack: I was an archetypical latch key kid and I turned out a lazy drunk who won't work for less than $50 an hour AND I GET IT!

Working on something that might go black swan for massive amounts of rum money.


I am intrigued and wish to learn more.
 
2013-12-06 11:14:01 AM
Phew! I knew this must be someone's fault besides my own but was not sure where to point the finger.
 
2013-12-06 12:16:33 PM

Lapdance: That means I'll work till I'm 70 before I retiire then Die 2 years after I do. Thanks Dad!


Sorry. In this brave new bootstrappy world you'll die at your post. Allowing you those 2 years rest would be socializmz.
 
2013-12-06 01:23:48 PM

INeedAName: stratagos: Or you can quit blaming people and take control of your life

Some people are genetically predisposed to certain behavior. My mother was relatively lazy, hugely depressed, and heavily sedated. Both of my sisters struggle with disabling depression. One of them can't hold down a job because the prospect of going outside every day overwhelms her. The other is a dispatcher for a tow company and will probably not change jobs until her current one goes out of business.

I'm fairing better in the income dept, but I have a terrible work ethic-sometimes no wanting to do projects because I'm worried I'll fail and let people down- and often won't ask people for help because in the back of my mind I'm worrying if they'll judge me. It can get pretty rough some days, especially in the winter.

Anyone who says 'just take control of your life' has no farking clue what some people go through.


Oh, I think a lot of them know. They just don't give a fark because whatever they had to do, everyone else has to do. It's all about them, but they pretend it's all about society.
 
2013-12-06 02:19:46 PM

llortcM_yllort: wildcardjack: I was an archetypical latch key kid and I turned out a lazy drunk who won't work for less than $50 an hour AND I GET IT!

Working on something that might go black swan for massive amounts of rum money.

I am intrigued and wish to learn more.


Seek out things which could return massive returns for minor, non-sucker inputs. Inventions, books, options, things that are options but don't go by the name option. Don't sink much of your resources in any one thing, black swans are scarce so you might have to make a habit of failures to find the success.
 
2013-12-06 02:48:04 PM

wildcardjack: llortcM_yllort: wildcardjack: I was an archetypical latch key kid and I turned out a lazy drunk who won't work for less than $50 an hour AND I GET IT!

Working on something that might go black swan for massive amounts of rum money.

I am intrigued and wish to learn more.

Seek out things which could return massive returns for minor, non-sucker inputs. Inventions, books, options, things that are options but don't go by the name option. Don't sink much of your resources in any one thing, black swans are scarce so you might have to make a habit of failures to find the success.


See, I'm the exact opposite. I prefer boring companies. Things like mortuaries, garbage truck companies, diesel engine manufacturers. Companies you won't hear about it on the major financial shows. I've tripled my money in three years, but that hides the fact that I've got a single stock right now that I've held since January that's tripled just on its own.  Only two out of 13 stocks I currently hold have lost money; maybe four or five in the entire time I've been investing. I analyze the balance sheet according to a set of guidelines I adapted from Peter Lynch's books. Then I buy.

I also don't believe in diversification (diworsification). If you aren't comfortable putting all your eggs in one basket, you didn't do enough to research to ensure it's a good buy.
 
2013-12-06 03:49:24 PM

INeedAName: Anyone who says 'just take control of your life' has no farking clue what some people go through.



I was severely depressed for many years (probably from about age 12-27ish?).

The catalysts:  I Grew up poor, my mother was severely manic depressive/ abusive and she got sick early on in my life and died.  Alcoholism and the crazies runs in my family.  I had little to no family support (financially or emotionally), was a raging alcoholic and drug abuser by 15 yo, was homeless for awhile, had 30 friends and family die from cancer/drugs/alcohol/murder before 27 yo, spent time in prison, caught in massive company wide layoffs, fiancee leaves unexpectedly and takes everything, burnt in a brush fire over 30% of my body,  was in a car wreck that broke my face and neck ..... and the list goes on.  All by the time I was 27 (most before 22).  I felt I got dealt a pretty shiatty hand in life.

I was so suicidal that the thought "I should kill myself" ran through my head constantly for 15 years.  So often that I started to actually say it out loud without knowing it.  So often and for so long that I still to this day do that as a HABIT.  I surprise myself with it.  I'm all like "I want to kill myself" outta nowhere...then I realize what I just said and I'm like "Wait!  What?  No I don't!!!  Not anymore anyways.".  It's really awkward explaining that to someone when they fiirst catch me in it...you better believe that!

So, one day, when I was 27 I said "fark it, I'm gonna stop biatching and do something about it.  I'm tired of being this way, I'm tired of being sad..."  ...and I did.  It's not easy but it really runs through me when people say "You have no idea what it's like", because I do, to a degree, In my own way...but if thats the way you think, then you have no idea what it was like to be me, you hypocrite.

 I started living my life for me and not someone else (i.e. whatever girl I was with at the time, or living in fear of disappointing someone) I decided I would not biatch about anything that I could change- and if I couldn't change it, it's not worth worrying about.

Ya know, life can suck but resigning yourself to the idea of being "predisposed to certain behaviours" is an excuse to not try because you are afraid of failing, which you yourself noted.  No one wants to take personal responsibility these days.  But I finally looked at myself and I realized I was my own worst enemy and I FOUGHT to beat it.  I blamed myself for my issues.  I owned them so I could then change them.  I honestly feel like a different person than I was.

For the first time in my life I am happy and afraid to die.

I guess this was just a guttural reaction to the "No clue what people are going through" statement, because I think stratagos puts it much more eloquently than I ever could.

/Why yes i am an ass
//I may have swung a little too far the other direction, but it's working for me
 
2013-12-07 08:30:16 AM

hitlersbrain: OMG! We're All Gonna Die!: I love how we've created a society where there's no personal accountability for anything.

Hey man I know I never really gave a shiat about anything but since my life is all farked up now because of it I'd really like it if you gave me free phones and healthcare and unemployment assistance and food stamps and pity and stuff. How dare you accuse me of being a load. I'm calling msnbc you racist catholic conservative right wing gun crazy homophobic selfish nut job.

/I'm getting a hang of this liberal thought process thing. Only in reverse.

I think it's more like; Hey man, I can appreciate your hurt and problems... here's a hand up.

Not a very conservative idea since it's not based on shame and hate.


See, personal accountability is a funny thing for conservatives. If it's not 100%, it's 0%. The market has opportunity for everybody if you're just willing to take it in the ass long enough and hard enough.
 
Displayed 45 of 45 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report