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(Daily Mail)   Engagement ring for sale, only one owner: Satan herself   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 66
    More: Amusing, Satans, Craigslist, craigslist ad, Mordor  
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17290 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Dec 2013 at 6:45 AM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



66 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-06 12:27:24 AM
It's true I read it in the Daily Fail
 
2013-12-06 01:10:51 AM
I would not be entirely surprised to find out the CL poster is a Farker. Just sounds like familiar schtick.
 
2013-12-06 02:33:27 AM
I thought my last girlfriend was the anti-Christ, but when I shaved her head the mark read "665"
 
2013-12-06 05:44:30 AM
A family member once dated and then married a demon harpy. All the while we were forced to withstand the blunt, dark, hateful breath of her issues and hangups. She was the meanest person I ever met. The family member forced her to buy presents for us as recompense for her behavior. We threw them out as we were certain they were cursed. Marriage lasted two months.

*shudder*
 
2013-12-06 06:05:39 AM
hmm.  I know someone who could probably uncurse it.  I also know a vodoun priestess (well...a wannabe anyways) but she's kind of an idiot.
 
2013-12-06 06:47:49 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I thought my last girlfriend was the anti-Christ, but when I shaved her head the mark read "665"


The neighbor of the beast?
 
2013-12-06 06:52:14 AM
Isn't that ALL engagement rings?
 
2013-12-06 06:56:36 AM
This Satan?

i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-06 06:57:27 AM
How did a Kate Gosselin story end up on the Main Tab?
 
2013-12-06 07:01:38 AM

generallyso: This Satan?

[i.imgur.com image 445x297]


I'd have sex with her, if you know what I mean and I think you do....

Wait...I think I did that wrong...
 
2013-12-06 07:03:49 AM
I doubt it was Satan. Perhaps a succubus.
 
2013-12-06 07:06:19 AM
I only wear a ring on my ____________________.
 
2013-12-06 07:14:35 AM
So, wait.  My ex somehow got released from the asylum, and got engaged to someone?  Huh.  I thought the judge/jury/psychiatrists all said that she was either so dumb that she couldn't function as an adult on her own, or she was retarded to the point of not being able to function as an adult on her own.

True story: She came over to my house to "Make me dinner".  She was clunking around in the kitchen for over 2 hours before she came in and asked me the following question: "Where is the boil water button on your microwave?"  She had spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to get my microwave to boil water so she could make a box of mac and cheese.

/While I was dating her, she managed to fail out of college, she barely made it to the end of the first semester before they kicked her out.
//While I was dating her, I found out that she was having sex with not one, not two, but THREE guys in my dorm building.
///While I was dating her, I also found out that in addition to the three guys in my dorm building, she was shacking up with 4 other guys, just so they would buy stuff for her.
////She was dumber than a bag of rocks, and that is an insult to the bag of rocks.
//Shashies!!
 
2013-12-06 07:16:47 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I thought my last girlfriend was the anti-Christ, but when I shaved her head the mark read "665"


Ah yes, the Mark of the Partial-Christ.
 
Skr
2013-12-06 07:25:28 AM
It is a nice looking ring, as far as engagement rings go.
 
2013-12-06 07:27:03 AM

Skr: It is a nice looking ring, as far as engagement rings go.


But it's cursed!
 
2013-12-06 07:27:06 AM

Cybernetic: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I thought my last girlfriend was the anti-Christ, but when I shaved her head the mark read "665"

The neighbor of the beast?


Across the street.
 
2013-12-06 07:30:36 AM

Skr: It is a nice looking ring, as far as engagement rings go.


Not bad....

I like this one better

thumbs1.ebaystatic.com
 
2013-12-06 07:32:25 AM

diaphoresis: Skr: It is a nice looking ring, as far as engagement rings go.

Not bad....

I like this one better

[thumbs1.ebaystatic.com image 225x225]


Yeah, that's a nice one, until the one day you wake up and realize that it's been stolen by Vladimir Putin.
 
2013-12-06 07:33:44 AM
I figured that Miroslav Satan was getting divorced, but then I remembered that sort of thing would be on the sports tab.
 
2013-12-06 07:37:29 AM
Again? How many satans are there?


Repeat
 
2013-12-06 07:41:22 AM
What is the engagement period worth if you end up spending almost as much on a ring as you  would on a wedding?

I thought the engagment was to weed out the dysfuncional relationships BEFORE spending shiatloads of money?
 
2013-12-06 07:42:59 AM
Looks legit. Part of why I divorced her, ya know, the whole not telling me she's God's former favorite fallen angel..that and her credit was awful, not to mention the fact that her voice would get so shrill when she wouldn't get her way. Now let me tell you the scenes she would instigate in public..like the malll  blah blah words..stereotypical true shiat said by many a comedian the world over..of and I forgot the time she wrecked my car!
 
2013-12-06 07:48:12 AM
One of the best parts of my divorce was when I got to sell that horrible ring she always pestered me to wear.

I got 300 bucks for it at a Sell Your Gold place. Fark off, ex wife!
 
2013-12-06 07:48:45 AM
When I saw it was in PA I had to ask a friend of mine if it was his...
 
2013-12-06 07:53:08 AM

Public Savant: What is the engagement period worth if you end up spending almost as much on a ring as you  would on a wedding?

I thought the engagment was to weed out the dysfuncional relationships BEFORE spending shiatloads of money?



Times like this Im so glad my wife is not an epic cnut. Not materialistic in the least way, great mother, keeps me fed with delicious, healthy home cooked meals, probably a genius but never tested, still hot, horny, and painted the OUTSIDE of our house.
 
2013-12-06 07:55:17 AM

Warmachine999: So, wait.  My ex somehow got released from the asylum, and got engaged to someone?  Huh.  I thought the judge/jury/psychiatrists all said that she was either so dumb that she couldn't function as an adult on her own, or she was retarded to the point of not being able to function as an adult on her own.

True story: She came over to my house to "Make me dinner".  She was clunking around in the kitchen for over 2 hours before she came in and asked me the following question: "Where is the boil water button on your microwave?"  She had spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to get my microwave to boil water so she could make a box of mac and cheese.

/While I was dating her, she managed to fail out of college, she barely made it to the end of the first semester before they kicked her out.
//While I was dating her, I found out that she was having sex with not one, not two, but THREE guys in my dorm building.
///While I was dating her, I also found out that in addition to the three guys in my dorm building, she was shacking up with 4 other guys, just so they would buy stuff for her.
////She was dumber than a bag of rocks, and that is an insult to the bag of rocks.
//Shashies!!


Just when I was attempting to wrap my mind around the fact she tried for two hours (supposedly) to boil water and with a microwave no less [!] then you hit me with the 411 that her lady parts have seen more action than a turnstyle at Disneyland. Damn, dude.
 
2013-12-06 07:58:51 AM

Public Savant: What is the engagement period worth if you end up spending almost as much on a ring as you  would on a wedding?

I thought the engagment was to weed out the dysfuncional relationships BEFORE spending shiatloads of money?


I'd like to see a wedding that cheap.
 
2013-12-06 08:04:44 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-06 08:13:43 AM

Warmachine999: So, wait.  My ex somehow got released from the asylum, and got engaged to someone?  Huh.  I thought the judge/jury/psychiatrists all said that she was either so dumb that she couldn't function as an adult on her own, or she was retarded to the point of not being able to function as an adult on her own.

True story: She came over to my house to "Make me dinner".  She was clunking around in the kitchen for over 2 hours before she came in and asked me the following question: "Where is the boil water button on your microwave?"  She had spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to get my microwave to boil water so she could make a box of mac and cheese.

/While I was dating her, she managed to fail out of college, she barely made it to the end of the first semester before they kicked her out.
//While I was dating her, I found out that she was having sex with not one, not two, but THREE guys in my dorm building.
///While I was dating her, I also found out that in addition to the three guys in my dorm building, she was shacking up with 4 other guys, just so they would buy stuff for her.
////She was dumber than a bag of rocks, and that is an insult to the bag of rocks.
//Shashies!!


I see.
So she had 7 guys buying her stuff...and SHE is the idiot.

Uh huh.
 
2013-12-06 08:15:13 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Skr: It is a nice looking ring, as far as engagement rings go.

But it's cursed!


That's bad.
 
2013-12-06 08:16:26 AM

walktoanarcade: Warmachine999: So, wait.  My ex somehow got released from the asylum, and got engaged to someone?  Huh.  I thought the judge/jury/psychiatrists all said that she was either so dumb that she couldn't function as an adult on her own, or she was retarded to the point of not being able to function as an adult on her own.

True story: She came over to my house to "Make me dinner".  She was clunking around in the kitchen for over 2 hours before she came in and asked me the following question: "Where is the boil water button on your microwave?"  She had spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to get my microwave to boil water so she could make a box of mac and cheese.

/While I was dating her, she managed to fail out of college, she barely made it to the end of the first semester before they kicked her out.
//While I was dating her, I found out that she was having sex with not one, not two, but THREE guys in my dorm building.
///While I was dating her, I also found out that in addition to the three guys in my dorm building, she was shacking up with 4 other guys, just so they would buy stuff for her.
////She was dumber than a bag of rocks, and that is an insult to the bag of rocks.
//Shashies!!

Just when I was attempting to wrap my mind around the fact she tried for two hours (supposedly) to boil water and with a microwave no less [!] then you hit me with the 411 that her lady parts have seen more action than a turnstyle at Disneyland. Damn, dude.


We can only assume she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose, or that her lady parts were lined with mink and came with the "snapper" option.
 
2013-12-06 08:17:07 AM

Resident Muslim: Warmachine999: So, wait.  My ex somehow got released from the asylum, and got engaged to someone?  Huh.  I thought the judge/jury/psychiatrists all said that she was either so dumb that she couldn't function as an adult on her own, or she was retarded to the point of not being able to function as an adult on her own.

True story: She came over to my house to "Make me dinner".  She was clunking around in the kitchen for over 2 hours before she came in and asked me the following question: "Where is the boil water button on your microwave?"  She had spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to get my microwave to boil water so she could make a box of mac and cheese.

/While I was dating her, she managed to fail out of college, she barely made it to the end of the first semester before they kicked her out.
//While I was dating her, I found out that she was having sex with not one, not two, but THREE guys in my dorm building.
///While I was dating her, I also found out that in addition to the three guys in my dorm building, she was shacking up with 4 other guys, just so they would buy stuff for her.
////She was dumber than a bag of rocks, and that is an insult to the bag of rocks.
//Shashies!!

I see.
So she had 7 guys buying her stuff...and SHE is the idiot.

Uh huh.



Hey, This is a woman bashing thread. White kighting and checking isn't allowed.
 
2013-12-06 08:17:41 AM

serial_crusher: AverageAmericanGuy: Skr: It is a nice looking ring, as far as engagement rings go.

But it's cursed!

That's bad.


But the stones are 2 carats.
 
2013-12-06 08:18:05 AM

Warmachine999: So, wait.  My ex somehow got released from the asylum, and got engaged to someone?  Huh.  I thought the judge/jury/psychiatrists all said that she was either so dumb that she couldn't function as an adult on her own, or she was retarded to the point of not being able to function as an adult on her own.

True story: She came over to my house to "Make me dinner".  She was clunking around in the kitchen for over 2 hours before she came in and asked me the following question: "Where is the boil water button on your microwave?"  She had spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to get my microwave to boil water so she could make a box of mac and cheese.

/While I was dating her, she managed to fail out of college, she barely made it to the end of the first semester before they kicked her out.
//While I was dating her, I found out that she was having sex with not one, not two, but THREE guys in my dorm building.
///While I was dating her, I also found out that in addition to the three guys in my dorm building, she was shacking up with 4 other guys, just so they would buy stuff for her.
////She was dumber than a bag of rocks, and that is an insult to the bag of rocks.
//Shashies!!


Lies. She was banging everyone but you.
 
2013-12-06 08:18:32 AM

poe_zlaw: Public Savant: What is the engagement period worth if you end up spending almost as much on a ring as you  would on a wedding?

I thought the engagment was to weed out the dysfuncional relationships BEFORE spending shiatloads of money?


Times like this Im so glad my wife is not an epic cnut. Not materialistic in the least way, great mother, keeps me fed with delicious, healthy home cooked meals, probably a genius but never tested, still hot, horny, and painted the OUTSIDE of our house.


Don't tell us.... tell her she is awesome.
 
2013-12-06 08:20:51 AM

OldManDownDRoad: walktoanarcade: Warmachine999: So, wait.  My ex somehow got released from the asylum, and got engaged to someone?  Huh.  I thought the judge/jury/psychiatrists all said that she was either so dumb that she couldn't function as an adult on her own, or she was retarded to the point of not being able to function as an adult on her own.

True story: She came over to my house to "Make me dinner".  She was clunking around in the kitchen for over 2 hours before she came in and asked me the following question: "Where is the boil water button on your microwave?"  She had spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to get my microwave to boil water so she could make a box of mac and cheese.

/While I was dating her, she managed to fail out of college, she barely made it to the end of the first semester before they kicked her out.
//While I was dating her, I found out that she was having sex with not one, not two, but THREE guys in my dorm building.
///While I was dating her, I also found out that in addition to the three guys in my dorm building, she was shacking up with 4 other guys, just so they would buy stuff for her.
////She was dumber than a bag of rocks, and that is an insult to the bag of rocks.
//Shashies!!

Just when I was attempting to wrap my mind around the fact she tried for two hours (supposedly) to boil water and with a microwave no less [!] then you hit me with the 411 that her lady parts have seen more action than a turnstyle at Disneyland. Damn, dude.

We can only assume she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose, or that her lady parts were lined with mink and came with the "snapper" option.


lol'd wow..

/it was the mink
 
2013-12-06 08:21:42 AM
That's bad.
 
2013-12-06 08:38:25 AM
Meh, I once dated a girl for a few years; she went on a trip for "two weeks" 3 or 4 years ago.

/ I wasn't quite dumb enough to knock her up or marry her
 
2013-12-06 08:39:19 AM

walktoanarcade: Warmachine999: So, wait.  My ex somehow got released from the asylum, and got engaged to someone?  Huh.  I thought the judge/jury/psychiatrists all said that she was either so dumb that she couldn't function as an adult on her own, or she was retarded to the point of not being able to function as an adult on her own.

True story: She came over to my house to "Make me dinner".  She was clunking around in the kitchen for over 2 hours before she came in and asked me the following question: "Where is the boil water button on your microwave?"  She had spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to get my microwave to boil water so she could make a box of mac and cheese.

/While I was dating her, she managed to fail out of college, she barely made it to the end of the first semester before they kicked her out.
//While I was dating her, I found out that she was having sex with not one, not two, but THREE guys in my dorm building.
///While I was dating her, I also found out that in addition to the three guys in my dorm building, she was shacking up with 4 other guys, just so they would buy stuff for her.
////She was dumber than a bag of rocks, and that is an insult to the bag of rocks.
//Shashies!!

Just when I was attempting to wrap my mind around the fact she tried for two hours (supposedly) to boil water and with a microwave no less [!] then you hit me with the 411 that her lady parts have seen more action than a turnstyle at Disneyland. Damn, dude.



Seems to me that there was one thing she wasn't dumb at, manipulating men.
 
2013-12-06 08:40:05 AM
Blood diamonds.
 
2013-12-06 08:41:11 AM

Resident Muslim: Warmachine999: So, wait.  My ex somehow got released from the asylum, and got engaged to someone?  Huh.  I thought the judge/jury/psychiatrists all said that she was either so dumb that she couldn't function as an adult on her own, or she was retarded to the point of not being able to function as an adult on her own.

True story: She came over to my house to "Make me dinner".  She was clunking around in the kitchen for over 2 hours before she came in and asked me the following question: "Where is the boil water button on your microwave?"  She had spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to get my microwave to boil water so she could make a box of mac and cheese.

/While I was dating her, she managed to fail out of college, she barely made it to the end of the first semester before they kicked her out.
//While I was dating her, I found out that she was having sex with not one, not two, but THREE guys in my dorm building.
///While I was dating her, I also found out that in addition to the three guys in my dorm building, she was shacking up with 4 other guys, just so they would buy stuff for her.
////She was dumber than a bag of rocks, and that is an insult to the bag of rocks.
//Shashies!!

I see.
So she had 7 guys buying her stuff...and SHE is the idiot.

Uh huh.



Really, if she's dumb, then those 8 guys who fell for her were even dumber.
 
2013-12-06 08:43:17 AM

Latinwolf: walktoanarcade: Warmachine999: So, wait.  My ex somehow got released from the asylum, and got engaged to someone?  Huh.  I thought the judge/jury/psychiatrists all said that she was either so dumb that she couldn't function as an adult on her own, or she was retarded to the point of not being able to function as an adult on her own.

True story: She came over to my house to "Make me dinner".  She was clunking around in the kitchen for over 2 hours before she came in and asked me the following question: "Where is the boil water button on your microwave?"  She had spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to get my microwave to boil water so she could make a box of mac and cheese.

/While I was dating her, she managed to fail out of college, she barely made it to the end of the first semester before they kicked her out.
//While I was dating her, I found out that she was having sex with not one, not two, but THREE guys in my dorm building.
///While I was dating her, I also found out that in addition to the three guys in my dorm building, she was shacking up with 4 other guys, just so they would buy stuff for her.
////She was dumber than a bag of rocks, and that is an insult to the bag of rocks.
//Shashies!!

Just when I was attempting to wrap my mind around the fact she tried for two hours (supposedly) to boil water and with a microwave no less [!] then you hit me with the 411 that her lady parts have seen more action than a turnstyle at Disneyland. Damn, dude.


Seems to me that there was one thing she wasn't dumb at, manipulating men.


I didn't say that part, but it's OK since that eerily describes my ex, so it all works out. :)
 
2013-12-06 08:46:04 AM

Warmachine999: ... My ex...

//While I was dating her, I found out that she was having sex with not one, not two, but THREE guys in my dorm building.
///While I was dating her, I also found out that in addition to the three guys in my dorm building, she was shacking up with 4 other guys, just so they would buy stuff for her.
////She was dumber than a bag of rocks, and that is an insult to the bag of rocks.


Yeah, she was dumb.
 
2013-12-06 09:01:08 AM

spickus: Warmachine999: ... My ex...

//While I was dating her, I found out that she was having sex with not one, not two, but THREE guys in my dorm building.
///While I was dating her, I also found out that in addition to the three guys in my dorm building, she was shacking up with 4 other guys, just so they would buy stuff for her.
////She was dumber than a bag of rocks, and that is an insult to the bag of rocks.

Yeah, she was dumb.


Depends how long it took them to find out, or if most of 'em knew about each other and just didn't particularly care.  Doesn't require massive intelligence to just sleep around with a bunch of people that are also just kinda casually sleeping around, it's only juggling the srs bznz partners that takes cleverness.
 
2013-12-06 09:01:11 AM
Mistake #1, buy engagement ring.
Mistake #2, anything that happens after.
 
2013-12-06 09:06:45 AM
i.imgur.com
Could she be...?
 
2013-12-06 09:21:26 AM

poe_zlaw: Resident Muslim: Warmachine999: So, wait.  My ex somehow got released from the asylum, and got engaged to someone?  Huh.  I thought the judge/jury/psychiatrists all said that she was either so dumb that she couldn't function as an adult on her own, or she was retarded to the point of not being able to function as an adult on her own.

True story: She came over to my house to "Make me dinner".  She was clunking around in the kitchen for over 2 hours before she came in and asked me the following question: "Where is the boil water button on your microwave?"  She had spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to get my microwave to boil water so she could make a box of mac and cheese.

/While I was dating her, she managed to fail out of college, she barely made it to the end of the first semester before they kicked her out.
//While I was dating her, I found out that she was having sex with not one, not two, but THREE guys in my dorm building.
///While I was dating her, I also found out that in addition to the three guys in my dorm building, she was shacking up with 4 other guys, just so they would buy stuff for her.
////She was dumber than a bag of rocks, and that is an insult to the bag of rocks.
//Shashies!!

I see.
So she had 7 guys buying her stuff...and SHE is the idiot.

Uh huh.


Hey, This is a woman bashing thread. White kighting and checking isn't allowed.


Did neither...merely highlighting that the guy stated he was dating a lady which had asylum level cognitive abilities.

She apparently was enjoying the company of a total of 8 guys. At least 4 of which were getting her gifts. The poster stated how dumb she was.
 
2013-12-06 09:50:18 AM
So she's available?

*combs hair, tucks in shirt*
 
2013-12-06 09:54:32 AM
The guy who wrote the article clearly dated my ex.
/still remember the day I thought about marrying her. It was a pleasant Saturday morning, and I woke up next to her. I just looked at her beautiful face and silky black hair. So serene. Then she opened her eyes and said "Why the fark are you staring at me?" She complained that she doesn't like it when I stir before her and then asked me what my deal was.
"Nothing" I said, and went out and slept on the couch. That right there was pretty much the end of that crappy relationship.

quizilla.teennick.com
 
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