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(Daily Star)   God Lay Ye Merry Gentlemen (& women). One-third of Brits have sex with a colleague after the Christmas party   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 77
    More: Cool, walk of shame, Christmas, Tis  
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4158 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2013 at 11:51 PM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



77 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-04 08:46:30 PM
Lucky me, I work at a software company and a VFX house,
 
2013-12-04 10:04:40 PM
I really don't want to think about British office workers having sex
 
2013-12-04 11:57:43 PM
Good thing I'm not a brit.  The only broad out of the 11 of us used to be a 300 lbs behemoth.  Now she's about 180 lbs and able to sail between trees with the extra skin like a flying squirrel does.
 
2013-12-04 11:59:48 PM

Peter von Nostrand: I really don't want to think about British office workers having sex


Yes look how ghastly ugly the British are. Oh my I can't imagine having sex with this women.

/a hefty heap of sarcasm

s.wsj.net
 
2013-12-05 12:02:51 AM

TheGhostofFarkPast: Peter von Nostrand: I really don't want to think about British office workers having sex

Yes look how ghastly ugly the British are. Oh my I can't imagine having sex with this women.

/a hefty heap of sarcasm

[s.wsj.net image 359x539]


That's not real British.  That's ethnic with an accent
 
2013-12-05 12:03:34 AM

TheGhostofFarkPast: Peter von Nostrand: I really don't want to think about British office workers having sex

Yes look how ghastly ugly the British are. Oh my I can't imagine having sex with this women.

/a hefty heap of sarcasm


That's a typical British office worker?

Quizzicaldog.jpg
 
2013-12-05 12:04:01 AM
This is probably linked to the fact Brits tend to abuse alcohol to an extent that would make the average Farker wince, and it goes downhill from there if the booze is free.
 
2013-12-05 12:04:06 AM
Best office Christmas party hookup ever:

www.bbc.co.uk
 
2013-12-05 12:09:06 AM
What if only 5 people work in your office?
 
2013-12-05 12:11:05 AM
Isn't that the point?
 
2013-12-05 12:12:11 AM

Peter von Nostrand: I really don't want to think about British office workers having sex


came to say exactly this.
 
2013-12-05 12:13:30 AM
Close subby, 31% have had sex after some party in the past. Not every Xmas party as your HL infers.
 
2013-12-05 12:17:00 AM

Surool: What if only 5 people work in your office?


Either a small orgy or an awkward 3-way.
 
2013-12-05 12:19:06 AM
Surool:

What if only 5 people work in your office?


I was told there would be no maths.
 
2013-12-05 12:19:49 AM

tuna fingers: Close subby, 31% have had sex after some party in the past. Not every Xmas party as your HL infers implies.


FTFY
 
2013-12-05 12:21:01 AM

TheGhostofFarkPast: Peter von Nostrand: I really don't want to think about British office workers having sex

Yes look how ghastly ugly the British are. Oh my I can't imagine having sex with this women.

/a hefty heap of sarcasm


Unfortunately, there's a show she was topless in and she turns out to have vaguely gloomy tits once they are outside a push-up bra.

/she's still adorable, though
 
2013-12-05 12:21:22 AM

TheGhostofFarkPast: Peter von Nostrand: I really don't want to think about British office workers having sex

Yes look how ghastly ugly the British are. Oh my I can't imagine having sex with this women.

/a hefty heap of sarcasm

[s.wsj.net image 359x539]


Also in the not too bad files:
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-05 12:37:44 AM

cptjeff: TheGhostofFarkPast: Peter von Nostrand: I really don't want to think about British office workers having sex

Yes look how ghastly ugly the British are. Oh my I can't imagine having sex with this women.

/a hefty heap of sarcasm

[s.wsj.net image 359x539]

Also in the not too bad files:
[4.bp.blogspot.com image 850x637]



Yes, those are young ones, but just consider what kind of wrinkled, fang-laden, sharp-kneed old hag British women turn into when they hit middle age:

www.mommyish.com

Oh, wait...
 
2013-12-05 12:38:41 AM
Great Britain ....land of sluts.
 
2013-12-05 12:40:59 AM

cptjeff: TheGhostofFarkPast: Peter von Nostrand: I really don't want to think about British office workers having sex

Yes look how ghastly ugly the British are. Oh my I can't imagine having sex with this women.

/a hefty heap of sarcasm

[s.wsj.net image 359x539]

Also in the not too bad files:
[4.bp.blogspot.com image 850x637]


Do you have the original of that?
 
2013-12-05 12:41:50 AM

cptjeff: Also in the not too bad files:


Frankly, I think you'd have a better chance of hooking up with the Queen.  And as long as she's not still pining over Prince Albert, she might even be enthusiastic about it.
 
2013-12-05 12:42:30 AM

TheGhostofFarkPast: Peter von Nostrand: I really don't want to think about British office workers having sex

Yes look how ghastly ugly the British are. Oh my I can't imagine having sex with this women.

/a hefty heap of sarcasm


Yes, please.
/gloomy tits? Will need to judge for myself
//link?
 
2013-12-05 12:52:09 AM
I have been to England, there are plenty of good looking women there. The Fark reputation for being ugly seems to come from sites like Mail Online which deals largely with the British equivalent of trailer trash.
The Fark reputation for Australian women: They are hot!
The Fark reputation for British women: They are dogs.
The genetic stock for these two groups is the same.
 
2013-12-05 12:54:21 AM

DreamSnipers: I have been to England, there are plenty of good looking women there. The Fark reputation for being ugly seems to come from sites like Mail Online which deals largely with the British equivalent of trailer trash.
The Fark reputation for Australian women: They are hot!
The Fark reputation for British women: They are dogs.
The genetic stock for these two groups is the same.


And the reputation doesn't match reality in the Australian case. I was in Melbourne and was amazed at the rugged handsomeness of the men. The women are also ruggedly handsome.
 
2013-12-05 12:58:41 AM
The most attractive woman I ever knew personally was my only workmate in an office at a shiat textile company in a tiny tiny english town. I tried to tell her, without being creepy, to get the hell out and go get rich. I hope she did.

I know I did and I aint pretty.
 
2013-12-05 12:58:59 AM
She's not exactly super famous, but I've always had a thing for Emily Mortimer.

www.wildchildmedia.co.uk
 
2013-12-05 01:17:17 AM

SirEattonHogg: She's not exactly super famous, but I've always had a thing for Emily Mortimer.

[www.wildchildmedia.co.uk image 670x474]


I definitely would NOT hit it. Just look at those sharp knees. She is way below my standard.  Dame Emma Peel, on the other hand...

theavengers.tv
 
2013-12-05 01:22:49 AM
Why does TFA keep referring to this as "bad" and/or "naughty"? Sex-negative much?
 
2013-12-05 02:30:45 AM

spmkk: Why does TFA keep referring to this as "bad" and/or "naughty"? Sex-negative much?


It's a British red-top tabloid. They mean it the same way a dominatrix does when she says "You've been a bad boy. You need to be spanked."
 
2013-12-05 02:46:12 AM

TheGhostofFarkPast: Peter von Nostrand: I really don't want to think about British office workers having sex

Yes look how ghastly ugly the British are. Oh my I can't imagine having sex with this women.

/a hefty heap of sarcasm


You'll get over it
 
2013-12-05 03:04:31 AM

SirEattonHogg: She's not exactly super famous, but I've always had a thing for Emily Mortimer.


Emily Mortimer is cute in a battered kitten sort of way.
 
2013-12-05 04:17:10 AM

GuidoDelConfuso: SirEattonHogg: She's not exactly super famous, but I've always had a thing for Emily Mortimer.

Emily Mortimer is cute in a battered kitten sort of way.


Battered as in beaten, or battered as in deep-fried?
 
2013-12-05 04:31:12 AM

Gyrfalcon: GuidoDelConfuso: SirEattonHogg: She's not exactly super famous, but I've always had a thing for Emily Mortimer.

Emily Mortimer is cute in a battered kitten sort of way.

Battered as in beaten, or battered as in deep-fried?


Fried cat meat is delicious but does need to be tenderized first.
 
2013-12-05 04:49:03 AM

gaspode: The most attractive woman I ever knew personally was my only workmate in an office at a shiat textile company in a tiny tiny english town.


Details, man, details!

Smeggy Smurf: That's not real British. That's ethnic with an accent


You think Jenna Louise Coleman, from Blackpool, is 'ethnic'?

/puzzled
 
2013-12-05 04:56:43 AM

DreamSnipers: I have been to England, there are plenty of good looking women there. The Fark reputation for being ugly seems to come from sites like Mail Online which deals largely with the British equivalent of trailer trash.
The Fark reputation for Australian women: They are hot!
The Fark reputation for British women: They are dogs.
The genetic stock for these two groups is the same.


Conclusion: Women of British descent are hot dogs.
 
2013-12-05 05:17:00 AM

FarkinNortherner: gaspode: The most attractive woman I ever knew personally was my only workmate in an office at a shiat textile company in a tiny tiny english town.

Details, man, details!


Her name was Amanda White. She was about 20, was 5'9 and looked like a norwegian supermodel or something, in spite of being east midlands born and bred. She had long long blonde hair she sometimes wore in a rope braid for extra hotness and wore everything from skintight jeans to little shorts to work. I rather suspect she liked to see me try not to visibly squirm, which I didnt realise at the time but is now obvious to older, wiser me (oh god the sight of her eating peaches for lunch with her feet up on her desk lol). She was an accomplished/university trained artist and was completely wasted designing shiatty textiles for idiots.

She was also just impossibly nice and we got along fantastically, only reason I stayed more than a month in that hellhole really.. I was engaged at the time to someone who turned out to be a nutter which pains me to this day. I was in many ways a very stupid person in my youth bah.
 
2013-12-05 06:06:09 AM
Thank you. That's probably enough info to hunt down this goddess. Although she's in the E.Mids, so she's probably 18 stone with four kids by now :(

Nobody tell the wife...
 
2013-12-05 06:20:49 AM

Gyrfalcon: Surool: What if only 5 people work in your office?

Either a small orgy or an awkward 3-way.


They could set up a gloryhole.
 
2013-12-05 06:25:09 AM
When all is said and done, a lot more is SAID about sex than DONE.
 
2013-12-05 06:34:31 AM
What's a office Christmas party?
 
2013-12-05 06:58:06 AM

FarkinNortherner: You think Jenna Louise Coleman, from Blackpool, is 'ethnic'?


Coleman... could be ethnic Irish!
 
2013-12-05 07:00:26 AM

Mad Scientist: What's a office Christmas party?


Its the lunch at the restaurant nobody except the CEO likes, and where every year the VP comes up with some awkward game to play.  This year its supposed to be "two truths and a lie" about Christmas.  She's led a very sheltered life.
 
2013-12-05 07:19:56 AM
What a disgusting nearly 50 old British hag might look like:  

4.bp.blogspot.com

What a horrid looking 40 something Brit might look like: 

www.saschabreuer.com
 
2013-12-05 07:20:14 AM
"A third of Brits have sex with a colleague after the office Christmas party"

"...with a whopping 31 per cent admitting to sleeping with a co-worker at the company's Christmas do."

That's some fine journalism there, Lou.

I don't believe the numbers are anywhere near 31 percent, even given the sampling source - "The study of more than 1,000 people, conducted by dating site extra-marital dating site    illicitencounters. com."
 
2013-12-05 07:21:22 AM

Cormee: FarkinNortherner: You think Jenna Louise Coleman, from Blackpool, is 'ethnic'?

Coleman... could be ethnic Irishia


this is true - but I don't think that's the 'ethnic' that was being alluded to!

Hack Patooey: Its the lunch at the restaurant nobody except the CEO likes, and where every year the VP comes up with some awkward game to play. This year its supposed to be "two truths and a lie" about Christmas. She's led a very sheltered life.


Wow. That sucks. British office parties are generally an excuse to get drunk on the company tab.
 
2013-12-05 07:30:11 AM

Target Builder: This is probably linked to the fact Brits tend to abuse alcohol to an extent that would make the average Farker wince, and it goes downhill from there if the booze is free.


Hey! We do not 'abuse' alcohol, we use it properly and for the reason it was created.
 
2013-12-05 07:35:03 AM
31% of Brits who go on websites to cheat on their spouses have hooked up at the office party at some point.

Not quite the same as 31% of the general population do it every year.
 
2013-12-05 07:46:31 AM
We have a new year's drink, somewhere in January, in the office canteen.
 
2013-12-05 08:09:58 AM
img.fark.net
Are you free?
//to help me with my pussy?
 
2013-12-05 08:12:19 AM

telemakhos: SirEattonHogg: She's not exactly super famous, but I've always had a thing for Emily Mortimer.

[www.wildchildmedia.co.uk image 670x474]

I definitely would NOT hit it. Just look at those sharp knees. She is way below my standard.  Dame Emma Peel, on the other hand...

[theavengers.tv image 300x1000]

(Pic of Diana Rigg as The Queen of Sin)

Game, set & match, sir.
 
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