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(CNN)   "I'm sorry. I'm afraid I can't let you eat that." - SAL 9000   (cnn.com) divider line 60
    More: Interesting, Microsoft, vital signs  
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9780 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2013 at 5:08 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-04 05:13:46 PM
The logic behind it seems sound until you consider the sentence "It's a bra that monitors women's emotions to keep them from eating too much."
 
2013-12-04 05:14:01 PM
So what happens when it becomes self-aware?
 
2013-12-04 05:14:08 PM
The wave of wearable computers

Way to leave everyone hanging, CNN.
 
2013-12-04 05:14:23 PM
Why doesn't Microsoft just concentrate on developing 2 OSs in a row that don't suck and not farking Office up every time they touch it? I'd be happy with those.
 
2013-12-04 05:14:40 PM
Electronics around the twins?  No thank you very much.

I like a lot of things around the twins, but something that could zap my nipples off if I get hot and bothered?  Not so much.
 
2013-12-04 05:16:53 PM
What happens when they find the hidden webcam?
 
2013-12-04 05:18:11 PM
Old white men in Washington trying to control women's bodies
 
2013-12-04 05:18:41 PM
FTA: ...with physiological sensors that would monitor a woman's heart activity to track her emotional moods and combat overeating.

I misread that as "and combat over reacting." and thought, "Well, its about damn time."
 
2013-12-04 05:18:43 PM

fusillade762: The wave of wearable computers

Way to leave everyone hanging, CNN.


The Onion saw this, er, coming...
 
2013-12-04 05:19:39 PM
Researchers at Microsoft are developing a "smart bra" embedded with physiological sensors that would monitor a woman's heart activity to track her emotional moods and combat overeating.

I read that as 'overheating'

"Honey, you need to change your thermostat."
 
2013-12-04 05:20:01 PM

Mikey1969: Why doesn't Microsoft just concentrate on developing 2 OSs in a row that don't suck and not farking Office up every time they touch it? I'd be happy with those.


I have a solution for the Office part: keep using Office 2003. That's what I'm doing. It was either that or start hunting down Microsoft employees.
 
2013-12-04 05:20:45 PM
I have a relative who just got her implanted defibrillator/pacemaker upgraded recently, so I'm not getting a kick out of this at all.
 
2013-12-04 05:28:26 PM
Here we have a product that could be good for women's health, detecting a-fib just as it starts, warning them and providing advice. Here we have some tech that could save lives. What do we do with it? Tell women to stop stuffing their emotional faces... I hate... just hate.
 
2013-12-04 05:31:13 PM
This many posts, no one calling subby on saying "SAL 9000?"  HAL.  1 letter off from IBM
 
2013-12-04 05:32:11 PM
I'd rather see "smart" underwear that monitors the urges of rapists and pedophiles. Instead of a cellphone signal, it could send an electric shock or something.
 
2013-12-04 05:33:47 PM
oi40.tinypic.com

Their device doesn't need high tech stuff. It simply needs to detect whether the person wearing it has backflabs or not. If backflabs are present, it should automatically go to the "You shouldn't eat that." stage.
 
Bf+
2013-12-04 05:34:59 PM

IamAwake: This many posts, no one calling subby on saying "SAL 9000?"


Nope... subby was spot on.
 
2013-12-04 05:35:40 PM
Considering MS's poor reputation for support, I can't imagine it would sell too well.
 
2013-12-04 05:38:19 PM
Computerized boobies?
 
2013-12-04 05:44:36 PM

jjorsett: Mikey1969: Why doesn't Microsoft just concentrate on developing 2 OSs in a row that don't suck and not farking Office up every time they touch it? I'd be happy with those.

I have a solution for the Office part: keep using Office 2003. That's what I'm doing. It was either that or start hunting down Microsoft employees.


We just migrated to Office365 at my work.

I'm starting to think the 365 is to signify how many days out of the year this piece of shiat wont work.
 
2013-12-04 05:48:12 PM
ole' CNN really shines these days.  everything but the News.   it does come in kind of handy when you don't want people to know the real news and to ask real questions.
 
2013-12-04 05:48:43 PM

Bf+: IamAwake: This many posts, no one calling subby on saying "SAL 9000?"

Nope... subby was spot on.


Yup. Someone obviously didn't read past  2001.

/loved the scene where he can't get laid because he's cut. I remember reading that as a teenager and laughing right around the time when the anti-circ crowd started screaming
 
2013-12-04 05:48:53 PM
This will end badly.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-04 05:50:04 PM
Came for Jen selling a bra on fire, thanks to Moss.

Leaving disappointed.
 
2013-12-04 05:51:35 PM

Snapper Carr: This will end badly.


Not disappointed after all!
 
2013-12-04 05:55:05 PM

Delta1212: The logic behind it seems sound until you consider the sentence "It's a bra that monitors women's emotions to keep them from eating too much."


Didn't something like this appear in one of the old Warner Brothers "The World of Tomorrow" cartoons?
 
2013-12-04 05:58:19 PM

Fart_Machine: So what happens when it becomes self-aware?


You wish, perv.
 
2013-12-04 06:04:40 PM

Strategeryz0r: jjorsett: Mikey1969: Why doesn't Microsoft just concentrate on developing 2 OSs in a row that don't suck and not farking Office up every time they touch it? I'd be happy with those.

I have a solution for the Office part: keep using Office 2003. That's what I'm doing. It was either that or start hunting down Microsoft employees.

We just migrated to Office365 at my work.

I'm starting to think the 365 is to signify how many days out of the year this piece of shiat wont work.


It's because the first time you try it, you turn 365 degrees and walk away, LAWL!!1!1!
 
2013-12-04 06:10:04 PM

jjorsett: Mikey1969: Why doesn't Microsoft just concentrate on developing 2 OSs in a row that don't suck and not farking Office up every time they touch it? I'd be happy with those.

I have a solution for the Office part: keep using Office 2003. That's what I'm doing. It was either that or start hunting down Microsoft employees.


whynotboth.jpg.
 
2013-12-04 06:12:17 PM

PunGent: jjorsett: Mikey1969: Why doesn't Microsoft just concentrate on developing 2 OSs in a row that don't suck and not farking Office up every time they touch it? I'd be happy with those.

I have a solution for the Office part: keep using Office 2003. That's what I'm doing. It was either that or start hunting down Microsoft employees.

whynotboth.jpg.


[balloon lost in the fog joke]
 
2013-12-04 06:13:47 PM

RonQuixote: Considering MS's poor reputation for support, I can't imagine it would sell too well.


Boob Screen of Death?
 
2013-12-04 06:13:57 PM
From article:
So -- why a bra, exactly?
"First, we needed a form factor that would be comfortable when worn for long durations," said scientists in a research paper published online. "The bra form factor was ideal because it allowed us to collect (electrocardiogram data) near the heart  and we figured it was a good opportunity to get to 'examine' girls' boobies."
 
2013-12-04 06:14:42 PM

Mikey1969: Why doesn't Microsoft just concentrate on developing 2 OSs in a row that don't suck and not farking Office up every time they touch it? I'd be happy with those.


you are asking to for too much.  stop it.
 
2013-12-04 06:15:05 PM

KeeptheChief: Computerized boobies?


encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
can fap to this
 
2013-12-04 06:25:49 PM

echomike23: Mikey1969: Why doesn't Microsoft just concentrate on developing 2 OSs in a row that don't suck and not farking Office up every time they touch it? I'd be happy with those.

you are asking to for too much.  stop it.


What about a version of Windows that can tell when you're screaming at it, and tells you to grab a beer?
 
2013-12-04 06:30:29 PM
It should monitor her stress level and then send me a warning if it gets too high instead. Much more useful.
 
2013-12-04 06:37:36 PM
Couldn't they solve the battery problem by using the bounce of the breasts to generate electricity?
 
2013-12-04 06:38:59 PM

VladTheEmailer: From article:
So -- why a bra, exactly?
"First, we needed a form factor that would be comfortable when worn for long durations," said scientists in a research paper published online. "The bra form factor was ideal because it allowed us to collect (electrocardiogram data) near the heart  and we figured it was a good opportunity to get to 'examine' girls' boobies."


(that gif of the guy walking up, lifting a finger to say something, puts the finger back down, walks away)

/when I have the opportunity to copy that I will, but I haven't been able to develop my archive
 
2013-12-04 06:50:28 PM
home.348north.com

"Will I dream?"
 
2013-12-04 06:52:09 PM

Peki: VladTheEmailer: From article:
So -- why a bra, exactly?
"First, we needed a form factor that would be comfortable when worn for long durations," said scientists in a research paper published online. "The bra form factor was ideal because it allowed us to collect (electrocardiogram data) near the heart  and we figured it was a good opportunity to get to 'examine' girls' boobies."

(that gif of the guy walking up, lifting a finger to say something, puts the finger back down, walks away)

/when I have the opportunity to copy that I will, but I haven't been able to develop my archive


Lol. I know. On the one hand I was thinking how ridiculous and juvenile that would be. On the other hand I was kicking myself that I hadnt thought of it first.
 
2013-12-04 07:05:48 PM
No word on where they got an engineer with actual experience with boobies though.
 
2013-12-04 07:12:38 PM

Bf+: IamAwake: This many posts, no one calling subby on saying "SAL 9000?"

Nope... subby was spot on.


oh man...wow.  Sorry subby, you are my superior for today.
 
2013-12-04 07:15:37 PM

UNC_Samurai: It's because the first time you try it, you turn 365 degrees and walk away, LAWL!!1!1!


I just turned 365 degrees and as it so happens, I could shift my eyes without moving my head in the slightest, and still see the screen.

Unless the second book also redefined the number of degrees in a circle...
 
2013-12-04 07:29:36 PM

IamAwake: UNC_Samurai: It's because the first time you try it, you turn 365 degrees and walk away, LAWL!!1!1!

I just turned 365 degrees and as it so happens, I could shift my eyes without moving my head in the slightest, and still see the screen.

Unless the second book also redefined the number of degrees in a circle...


Not sure if you or I am missing the joke here, but just in case.
 
2013-12-04 07:30:07 PM
Boobies thread.... Please?

/It's been so long.
 
2013-12-04 07:36:29 PM

Mikey1969: Why doesn't Microsoft just concentrate on developing 2 OSs in a row that don't suck


Isn't that exactly what the article is about?
 
2013-12-04 08:09:54 PM

Mikey1969: Why doesn't Microsoft just concentrate on developing 2 OSs in a row that don't suck and not farking Office up every time they touch it? I'd be happy with those.


I'd just settle for them finishing up Windows Phone so it has feature parity with Android and iOS. Hell, Nokia at this point is adding features like the Glance Screen and BT 4.0 LE themselves because Microsoft keeps dragging their feet.
 
2013-12-04 08:12:41 PM

DuudeStanky: FTA: ...with physiological sensors that would monitor a woman's heart activity to track her emotional moods and combat overeating.

I misread that as "and combat over reacting." and thought, "Well, its about damn time."


LOL.  I seriously read it as "....track her enormous boobs and combat overeacting"
 
2013-12-04 08:15:05 PM

Mad_Radhu: Mikey1969: Why doesn't Microsoft just concentrate on developing 2 OSs in a row that don't suck and not farking Office up every time they touch it? I'd be happy with those.

I'd just settle for them finishing up Windows Phone so it has feature parity with Android and iOS. Hell, Nokia at this point is adding features like the Glance Screen and BT 4.0 LE themselves because Microsoft keeps dragging their feet.


Didn't Windows Phone initially launch well? Like people really liked it? So after all that, they just fell asleep?
 
2013-12-04 08:52:42 PM

VladTheEmailer: From article:
So -- why a bra, exactly?
"First, we needed a form factor that would be comfortable when worn for long durations," said scientists in a research paper published online. "The bra form factor was ideal because it allowed us to collect (electrocardiogram data) near the heart  and we figured it was a good opportunity to get to 'examine' girls' boobies."


I'm surprised it took so long.

// techie nerds' dream project!
 
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