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(Opposing Views)   Defense attorney speechless when judge asks why his client shot a 7-year-old girl in the buttocks with a BB gun, twice. Because when you think about it, there really is no good answer to that question   (opposingviews.com) divider line 77
    More: Sick, Maria Zuber, attorney-in-fact, bb guns, Dirty Mind  
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7719 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2013 at 1:13 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



77 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-04 11:46:35 AM
Biatch set me up!
 
2013-12-04 11:48:11 AM
Your Honor, you have to shoot a second time to let her know the first shot wasn't an accident.
 
2013-12-04 11:49:30 AM
because she moved when he fired the third time.....duh..
 
2013-12-04 12:00:47 PM
That's what she gets for taking his stapler
 
2013-12-04 12:04:49 PM
You'll shoot your eye out... you'll shoot your eye out!
 
2013-12-04 12:09:20 PM
When the judge asked, "Why would someone shoot a 7-year-old in the buttocks?" Zuber's public defender had no answer.

"Your Honor, I'm here to make sure the defendant gets a fair trial. I have 30 other defendants who can't afford a lawyer on my docket this week. I really don't have time to figure out why Mr. Shooty McBang-Bang here would shoot a child, but I can't say that out loud to you, now can I?"
 
2013-12-04 12:11:52 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: You'll shoot your eye out... you'll shoot your eye out!


Yes!  He should have answered:

"Because, your honor, if you shoot them in the face, you can put an eye out.  Duh!  I thought everybody knew that!"
 
2013-12-04 12:27:30 PM
"Your honor, she had cooties."
 
2013-12-04 12:33:00 PM
Sentence to be served concurrently with his 20-40 year attempted murder conviction.

Oh. He ALSO shot his ex-girlfriend. This guy sure does "accidentally" shoot a gun like he means it.
 
2013-12-04 12:46:38 PM
Perhaps she was wearing a hoodie at the time.
 
2013-12-04 12:47:48 PM
One shot didn't get the point across
 
2013-12-04 12:51:05 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: One shot didn't get the point across


Same with the girlfriend. He was trying to "scare" her by "accidentally" shooting her... twice.
 
2013-12-04 12:53:15 PM
He takes medication for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression.

Let me guess... it's perfectly legal in PA to be mentally ill and own a handgun.
 
2013-12-04 12:55:48 PM

scottydoesntknow: That's what she gets for taking his stapler


And his ex-girlfriend probably told him to move his stuff into the basement.
 
2013-12-04 12:58:30 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: He takes medication for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression.

Let me guess... it's perfectly legal in PA to be mentally ill and own a handgun.


I didn't think it was possible to have all three disorders.
 
2013-12-04 01:02:01 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: He takes medication for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression.
Let me guess... it's perfectly legal in PA to be mentally ill and own a handgun.


Not sure one way or other about that, but here's photographic evidence that it's legal in PA to be mentally ill and own a shotgun:

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-04 01:04:18 PM

simplicimus: Eddie Adams from Torrance: He takes medication for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression.

Let me guess... it's perfectly legal in PA to be mentally ill and own a handgun.

I didn't think it was possible to have all three disorders.


It is not. At a minimum a diagnosis of bipolar disorder excludes a diagnosis of major depressive disorder.
 
2013-12-04 01:11:31 PM
Reading a story of a 31 year old man who shot a 7 year old, twice.

Immediately WTFed when this part of the story was reached.  Anthony, in a no-jury trial, found Zuber (pictured) guilty of attempted murder for an incident on Aug. 31 of last year when he shot his girlfriend, Ashley Johnston, in the chest and arm through the a car window as she tried to drive away with the couple's 3-year-old son in the back seat.

Fortunately, I was able to determine there was a second victim in the case.
 
2013-12-04 01:14:46 PM
She turned the other cheek?
 
2013-12-04 01:16:31 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: He takes medication for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression.

Let me guess... it's perfectly legal in PA to be mentally ill and own a handgun.


2nd amendment is sacred. Except regarding plastic guns. All those OTHER amendments are just suggestions.
 
2013-12-04 01:17:34 PM

scottydoesntknow: That's what she gets for taking his stapler


Done in Four.
 
2013-12-04 01:17:53 PM
Your honor, I wanted to see if I actually had what it takes to shoot her mother.
Both felt the same to me, to be honest.....
 
2013-12-04 01:18:56 PM

cwheelie: She turned the other cheek?


That would be the only possible answer.
 
2013-12-04 01:19:06 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: When the judge asked, "Why would someone shoot a 7-year-old in the buttocks?" Zuber's public defender had no answer.

"Your Honor, I'm here to make sure the defendant gets a fair trial. I have 30 other defendants who can't afford a lawyer on my docket this week. I really don't have time to figure out why Mr. Shooty McBang-Bang here would shoot a child, but I can't say that out loud to you, now can I?"


Yup. I can almost guarantee that the first thing that lawyer said after court was "Jesus, I need a drink."
 
2013-12-04 01:19:38 PM
At his trial, Zuber said that he was simply trying to scare Johnston, but that his gun fired by accident - two times

He has no idea that he'd have been ten times better off if he'd simply kept his mouth shut from beginning to end.
 
2013-12-04 01:19:50 PM

mediablitz: Eddie Adams from Torrance: He takes medication for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression.

Let me guess... it's perfectly legal in PA to be mentally ill and own a handgun.

2nd amendment is sacred. Except regarding plastic guns. All those OTHER amendments are just suggestions.


The Fifth Amendment, however, doesn't seem to get much respect in Pennsylvania courts.
 
2013-12-04 01:20:12 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: He takes medication for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression.

Let me guess... it's perfectly legal in PA to be mentally ill and own a handgun.


What the fark. That's some lazy diagnosing right there. Schizophrenia AND bipolar?! Unlikely.

Methinks there is not a very good psychiatrist involved here.
 
2013-12-04 01:20:18 PM
Rule #4:  Double-tap
 
2013-12-04 01:20:35 PM
The Waco Kid was standing his ground.
 
2013-12-04 01:21:23 PM
Actually he only shot her once. It was a magic BB.
 
2013-12-04 01:21:41 PM

grokca: Biatch set me up!


Also, she's a BIG meanie!
 
2013-12-04 01:22:17 PM
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: That's not a real gun, is it Clark?

Clark: Are you kidding? This is a Magnum P.I.

Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: It's a BB gun!

Clark: Don't tempt me. I could put an eye out with this thing.
 
2013-12-04 01:23:52 PM
Zuber pleaded no contest to child endangerment, which means that he does not admit guilt, but acknowledges that there's enough evidence to convict him anyway.

Why does he get to plead anything other than "guilty?" The kid was taken to the hospital, where the doctors certainly know the difference between a "rash" and getting shot in the ass.
 
2013-12-04 01:24:49 PM
Zuber, 33, acknowledged that he too has mental health issues. He takes medication for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression, he told Judge James T. Anthony.

Jesus, can you COMBINE these?
 
2013-12-04 01:25:46 PM
Let the caliber fit the age, that's my motto!
 
2013-12-04 01:26:06 PM
He is the living man.

/obscure?
 
2013-12-04 01:26:52 PM
No good answer? I can think of two.
i0.kym-cdn.com
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-12-04 01:29:19 PM
How's her ass? RECOVERING FROM THE SHOTS, I MEAN!
 
2013-12-04 01:32:37 PM
Subby, that's an easy question to answer.

i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-12-04 01:33:15 PM
I can't be the first to ask, "What's his Fark handle?"
 
2013-12-04 01:40:05 PM

Janusdog: Eddie Adams from Torrance: He takes medication for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression.

Let me guess... it's perfectly legal in PA to be mentally ill and own a handgun.

What the fark. That's some lazy diagnosing right there. Schizophrenia AND bipolar?! Unlikely.

Methinks there is not a very good psychiatrist involved here.


I'm thinking there's some not very good reporting involved here.
 
2013-12-04 01:40:12 PM
"Once in each cheek, Judge. Duh!"
 
2013-12-04 01:40:34 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: You'll shoot your brown eye out... you'll shoot your brown eye out!



FTFY
 
2013-12-04 01:42:16 PM

Janusdog: Eddie Adams from Torrance: He takes medication for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression.

Let me guess... it's perfectly legal in PA to be mentally ill and own a handgun.

What the fark. That's some lazy diagnosing right there. Schizophrenia AND bipolar?! Unlikely.

Methinks there is not a very good psychiatrist involved here.


I'm betting three different shrinks, three different diagnoses, three different people prescribing meds. And a complete and total lack of communication.
 
2013-12-04 01:42:19 PM
www.opposingviews.comI
I, for one, found this article uplifting.  This doofy looking, thrice diagnosed crazy, gun nut was able to get a girlfriend.  Good for him and it gives hope to the basement-dwelling farkers who had to take their moms to the prom.
 
2013-12-04 01:43:00 PM

Janusdog: Eddie Adams from Torrance: He takes medication for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression.

Let me guess... it's perfectly legal in PA to be mentally ill and own a handgun.

What the fark. That's some lazy diagnosing right there. Schizophrenia AND bipolar?! Unlikely.

Methinks there is not a very good psychiatrist involved here.


Methinks there might be more than one.
 
2013-12-04 01:43:29 PM
Not to defend the crazy man with magically accurate misfires here, since clearly this man needs to be locked away for awhile, but that's a horribly loaded question. If your claim is that you didn't do it, then there can be no answer to that question that doesn't make you look more guilty. Judicial bias sucks even when the guy is guilty.
 
2013-12-04 01:48:57 PM

simplicimus: Eddie Adams from Torrance: He takes medication for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression.

Let me guess... it's perfectly legal in PA to be mentally ill and own a handgun.

I didn't think it was possible to have all three disorders.


"lesser includeds"
 
2013-12-04 01:53:03 PM

LordBeavis: [www.opposingviews.com image 301x251]I
I, for one, found this article uplifting.  This doofy looking, thrice diagnosed crazy, gun nut was able to get a girlfriend.  Good for him and it gives hope to the basement-dwelling farkers who had to take their moms to the prom.


For all those reasons, I found the article to be oh-so-depressing....HE can get someone to fark him (3 year old son) but I'm home watching Amazon Prime movies alone every damn weekend?

I should just end it now, before the holidays get too far in.
 
2013-12-04 01:55:10 PM

scottydoesntknow: That's what she gets for taking his stapler


That's the first thing that came to mind when I saw that pic.
 
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