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(Metro)   Tired of people constantly bumping in to you on an overcrowded subway ride? I've got just the thing to fix that   (metro.co.uk) divider line 40
    More: Spiffy, vests, Northern line  
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3662 clicks; posted to Business » on 04 Dec 2013 at 12:24 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-04 12:37:41 PM
sportzwiki.com
 
2013-12-04 12:42:45 PM
Could they put this on floatation vests when you're in shark-infested waters?
 
2013-12-04 12:46:50 PM
Gee, I hope nobody trips over her or gets shoved into her. That could be a lawsuit in the making.
 
2013-12-04 12:55:04 PM
Better make them poison tipped just to be sure
 
2013-12-04 12:55:26 PM
Seems like a total douche move in crowded cars.  I'm not a subway pervert, but I might feel the need to spite grope you if you were wearing that.
 
2013-12-04 12:57:47 PM
I always find that not showering does the trick for me.
 
2013-12-04 01:04:15 PM
Get ready to be shoved out of the car at the next station by someone using a bag or a jacket as a shield.
 
2013-12-04 01:16:39 PM
I'd push her head into the spikes on her shoulders.
 
2013-12-04 01:19:44 PM
static3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-12-04 01:28:31 PM
thebostonjam.files.wordpress.com

Completely agree. No one wants to go near Raiders fans
 
2013-12-04 01:29:25 PM
That only works long enough until you get a car full of people wearing these things. Then, no one gets out uninjured.
 
2013-12-04 01:36:34 PM
Why has no one mentioned that glorious face on the guy behind her in the train?  "oh hell no"
 
2013-12-04 01:53:55 PM
CSB: I used to live in NYC, and there was a homeless guy that absolutely stunk.  I dont just mean, man he smells. I mean, holy shiat, that's how you really torture someone.... He was notorious for riding the N train (and maybe others).  He would clear out the entire car, so when we would pull into a busy station like Times Sq, a bunch of tourists see a completely empty car and they would rush on in a big wave, and then immediately clear out while screaming or holding their breath.

TL;DR:   If there's a completely empty subway car during rush hour, there is a very good reason for it.
 
2013-12-04 01:56:11 PM
http://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/spikes1.png

Maybe if her and all her friends were not crowded at the front of the car they would have more room. looks to be plenty of room in the back of that car.

I did pose a question though, can a woman be an asshat or a douchbag?
 
2013-12-04 02:04:51 PM

machoprogrammer: [sportzwiki.com image 516x521]


When I was a kid I always wondered why they didn't keep their armour on during the match and simply kill their rivals.

I still wonder that to this very day.
 
2013-12-04 02:05:31 PM
On crowded trains I just stand at the end of the car. Between people jabbing their backpacks, purses, strollers at other riders it's just easier to not stand in the middle of the train car.
 
2013-12-04 02:31:04 PM

bangmaid: TL;DR: If there's a completely empty subway car during rush hour, there is a very good reason for it.


I love the experiences everyone in NYC shares.  Walk up to anyone and ask, "Remember the first time you saw an empty subway car, got excited, ran in, and there was a homeless person who smelled of death and feces?"
 
2013-12-04 02:38:43 PM
FTA: Sadly, the Spike Away vest is unlikely to be appearing in a store near you due to the strong likelihood of hundreds of thousands of personal injury claims.

images.wikia.com
 
2013-12-04 02:48:59 PM

machoprogrammer: [sportzwiki.com image 516x521]


My first thought too.

/If you haven't watched their documentary on Netflix, I highly suggest you do.
 
2013-12-04 03:13:37 PM
blog.ardes.com
 
2013-12-04 03:16:44 PM

Tax Boy: [blog.ardes.com image 500x628]


themellowjihadi.com
 
2013-12-04 03:33:29 PM
Lunch at Taco Bell would be cheaper.
 
2013-12-04 03:36:15 PM
This is cheaper.

images.allegrocentral.com
 
2013-12-04 03:51:58 PM
If I lived in a culture where people were packed into subway cars like sardines, and I were routinely groped, I'd want that shiat too.
 
2013-12-04 04:01:14 PM

lockers: Tax Boy: [blog.ardes.com image 500x628]


img.fark.net

10 points to Gryffindor!
 
2013-12-04 04:42:19 PM
I'm sorry, but you lose some right to personal space on public transportation. Make room for other people who are just trying to get to work/home. You don't need 3 feet around you to read or watch movies on your phone. Move as far away from the doors as possible and let people on. Situational awareness is important, as is not being a selfish bastard.

I'm not saying we need to be laying on top of each other, but jesus christ, it's like it's everyone's first day in rush hour. "Why aren't we moving? I guess I'll just look around while blocking the entire goddamn aisle."

/ventin
 
2013-12-04 05:04:07 PM
This incident happened a year or so ago when I was working long hours, and my car broke down, leaving me with a 4 hour public transit ride, and no time to shower, and I didn;t bother changing clothes either. I know I smelled bad, but it takes somehting like this to drive the fact home:


I get on the bus first, a bunch of people behind me, I spy a seat and take it. It is on the end and the one next to it is unoccupied. The woman across form me gets this look of disgust on her face, tries to hold her breath for a second before deciding to breathe through her mouth. This fails, and and results in a dry heave, she immeadiatly vacates the seat, to try her luck down the back of the bus. Passengers are still getting on, and one of them immeadiatly spys the vacated seat and goes for it. She gets this look on her face that looks kinda of like someone who is about to sneeze, a split second after sitting down, she gets right back up. The seat remained unoccupied.
 
2013-12-04 05:14:49 PM
Blood.  Bloody nose, small cut oozing blood on your arm, bleeding from your ear.  Doesn't matter.  Blood will make people walk over their own children to get the fark away from you.
 
2013-12-04 05:45:24 PM

Crudbucket: lockers: Tax Boy: [blog.ardes.com image 500x628]

[img.fark.net image 630x390]

10 points to Gryffindor!


At the beginning of the year, the Sorting Boot always assigns the new students to either House Left or House Right...
 
2013-12-04 06:28:59 PM
DNRTFA

You want people to give you three feet? Whip out the cock, and start stroking it, lovingly...or just beat the shiat out of it. Either way works.
 
2013-12-04 06:33:45 PM
And before anybody chastises me for my "cock" comment, I'm not talking about a chicken. No poultry was harmed in the making of my post.
 
2013-12-04 07:43:16 PM
Huh, that's interesting.

I usually just shiat my pants.
 
2013-12-04 07:55:04 PM
Oh wow, enjoy that punch in the face you've always wanted.
 
2013-12-04 10:09:57 PM
Lawsuit waiting to happen right there.
 
2013-12-04 10:42:23 PM

Orgasmatron138: If I lived in a culture where people were packed into subway cars like sardines, and I were routinely groped, I'd want that shiat too.


Some places (Mexico City, for example) have women-only cars on their subway trains for this purpose.
 
2013-12-04 11:07:43 PM

bangmaid: CSB: I used to live in NYC, and there was a homeless guy that absolutely stunk.  I dont just mean, man he smells. I mean, holy shiat, that's how you really torture someone.... He was notorious for riding the N train (and maybe others).  He would clear out the entire car, so when we would pull into a busy station like Times Sq, a bunch of tourists see a completely empty car and they would rush on in a big wave, and then immediately clear out while screaming or holding their breath.


Oh yeah, that's Foul Ole Ron.
 
2013-12-05 12:23:17 AM
This is slightly less annoying than people who sit on a bench seat and throw their leg up to prevent anyone sitting next to them.

/until my 200lbs sits on their knee
//"oh, sh*t, sorry, I thought this seat was open..."
 
2013-12-05 07:43:29 AM

Sin_City_Superhero: And before anybody chastises me for my "cock" comment, I'm not talking about a chicken. No poultry was harmed in the making of my post.


cdn.videogum.com
 
2013-12-05 09:51:07 AM

meat0918: This is cheaper.

[images.allegrocentral.com image 240x240]


Along the same idea, I really try to avoid being close to someone that wears their scrubs to public places.  Seriously folks, don't you understand the whole concept of scrubs?  Yet I see these idiots wear them in class, at the supermarket, at fast food places, etc.

garffscrubs.com
 
2013-12-05 12:11:03 PM

hamsack: That only works long enough until you get a car full of people wearing these things. Then, no one gets out uninjured.


Spikelock.
 
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