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(Mirror.co.uk)   We know it's early, but Britain has already named its 'Worst Christmas Tree of 2013" and this one could go the distance. Wow, that's just ... the worst (pics)   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 52
    More: Weird, Britain, Christmas, town centre, distances  
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12845 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2013 at 11:32 AM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-04 11:12:29 AM
Oh, I found an ugly X-Mas tree.

gallery.markheadrick.com
 
2013-12-04 11:20:20 AM
It looks like a gnome hat.

Not the worst, but very lazy
 
2013-12-04 11:25:45 AM
If they want it to be ugliest they have to really commit, and leave it there until May or whenever some yob sets it on fire.
 
2013-12-04 11:28:17 AM
I was expecting "Charlie Brown-pathetic-yule-branch-leaning-over" kind of ugly, not "post-modernistic-gay-ass-dunce-cap" ugly.

If it's not a real tree, does it count?
 
2013-12-04 11:29:30 AM
If that is the official town tree, then yes, it is pretty bad, but mostly on a 'lazy and we don't want to spend money' scale.

If it is just some random decoration, it is fine.
 
2013-12-04 11:34:58 AM

gopher321: If it's not a real tree, does it count?


No, it does not.
 
2013-12-04 11:36:24 AM
Charlie Brown unimpressed.
 
2013-12-04 11:36:44 AM
They could at least string some lights on the barricades.
 
2013-12-04 11:38:02 AM
But they've placed it in such a scenic location.
 
2013-12-04 11:38:56 AM
I love the gallery that shows how it looks from every side. Yes it's symmetrical folks.
 
2013-12-04 11:39:12 AM
Someone lose an ice cream cone?
 
2013-12-04 11:40:57 AM
Don't know why, but looking at the pic made me think of...."Ah hey ma ma ma
Life in a northern town. "
 
2013-12-04 11:42:45 AM

gopher321: I was expecting "Charlie Brown-pathetic-yule-branch-leaning-over" kind of ugly, not "post-modernistic-gay-ass-dunce-cap" ugly.

If it's not a real tree, does it count?


All it needs is a little love.
 
2013-12-04 11:43:34 AM
n7ugc.disney.go.com
 
2013-12-04 11:43:37 AM
ok sure, some towns put no effort whatsoever into Christmas.
 
2013-12-04 11:45:42 AM
Note that the town is Stockton. I've been there, and it's not unlike it's California counterpart.
 
2013-12-04 11:45:44 AM

gopher321: I was expecting "Charlie Brown-pathetic-yule-branch-leaning-over" kind of ugly, not "post-modernistic-gay-ass-dunce-cap" ugly.

If it's not a real tree, does it count?


You mean, like an imaginary tree?  Or an artificial tree?
 
2013-12-04 11:45:45 AM
But they have lovely lamp posts.
 
2013-12-04 11:46:04 AM

blatz514: Oh, I found an ugly X-Mas tree.


You shut your whore mouth!
 
2013-12-04 11:46:18 AM
O, Christmas cone. O, Christmas cone ...
 
2013-12-04 11:46:42 AM
Is that the display model for this year's Christmas Klan hats?
 
2013-12-04 11:46:54 AM
Anybody notice the van parked behind the tree? Arbor Builders & Shopfitters.

I wonder if they're the company that did the tree?
 
2013-12-04 11:49:23 AM
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, how lovely are thy...wait, wah?
 
2013-12-04 11:50:21 AM
The metal barricades and construction equipment nearbye adds just the right festive feel. Just the thing to put you in the mood to trample your fellow man for cheap bath towels.
 
2013-12-04 11:51:36 AM
0.tqn.com

Lobster trap tree!!
 
2013-12-04 11:54:57 AM
That one photo has a real "Jackie Chan: What the fark am I looking at?" vibe.
 
2013-12-04 11:56:11 AM
Charlie Babbitt: "So how much do you figure they spent on that tree?"
Raymond Babbitt: "Bout a hunnerd dollars."

www.slantmagazine.com
 
2013-12-04 11:56:39 AM
"Me and my Arrow ... "
 
2013-12-04 12:08:18 PM
Seems like an expression of the police state we're living in.
 
2013-12-04 12:10:22 PM
"I will be taking my grandchildren to see the switching on of the lights somewhere else this year. It's the kind of thing you might put up in your garden if you wanted to annoy the neighbours. It's a joke."

static2.fjcdn.com
 
2013-12-04 12:13:32 PM
Some corporations along the Trans-Canada highway have fake "Christmas trees" which consist of a coiled conical metal frame on which a string of lights is strung. At night they don't look so bad--a bit minimalist but basically the tree is just there for the lights any way at night, but in daylight they may be even worse than this cone of gauze.

I have seen some horrible Christmas trees. My grandfather habitually got a tree that was way too plump and way too big for the room (well, he was drunk at the time, as is tradition) so he had to chop off the top. Some of the "wild" trees cut along the highway or on woodlot just didn't have enough foliage on them and are horribly lop-side, although they do look better when decorated and turned to hide the worst defects.

Spruce makes a poor Christmas tree, PIne is hard to decorate and can have too much foliage, and fir will drop needles like anything. The Homer Simpson Christmas tree (which had a birdhouse in it, and hibernating squirrels) is a classic which serves to remind us that even a beautiful tree can be full of wildlife.

The best natural Christmas trees are grown and shaped by tree farmers. You can get a decent Christmas tree at a relatively reasonable price from the Boy Scouts or fraternal orders in many small towns. Urban prices are insanely high. A freshly cut and well-watered fir tree is the best unless you prefer the plumpness of pine. Beware of cats and dogs. They will knock over a poorly anchored tree and will knock off or even eat the ornaments. No glass below two feet is a good idea.

New Brunswick and Nova Scotia provide most of the Christmas trees in New England and New York State, although Maine has some Christmas tree plantations and gets the credit for the trees as they do much of our lobster and seafood.

Artificial trees vary from the absolutely hideous (pink aluminium seems to be about as horrible as they get) to trees that are almost indistinguishable from a really well-shaped natural tree. Some people leave the artificial tree decorated. It may be covered in garbage bags and placed in a basement or garage or it may have its own special closet or room (depending on the wealth and housing of the owner).

My parents had a 12-foot natural tree one year when I didn't get home for Christmas but they tend towards eight or nine feet because 12-feet is a lot of tree to decorate. My mother put everything she had on it, from the lovely Martha Stewartish hand-made decorations made by artsy-crafty relations and friends make to the cheap decorations we had as kids which came in tea boxes or bread bags.

My Mother is a bit a of a joker/eccentric. One of the decorations is the death's head moth from a Hannibal Lector movie package she put on the tree one year to see if anybody would notice it. A rubber ducky I brought home back when Ze Frank was video-blogging for a year on a bet, is on there as well. Hi, Duckies and Sports Racers! She also decorates a tree by the highway for the truckers. The decorations are home-made so people don't steal them. This Trucker's Christmas Tree was written up in a local paper once.
 
2013-12-04 12:15:37 PM

blatz514: Oh, I found an ugly X-Mas tree.

[gallery.markheadrick.com image 428x629]


Too bad it isn't decorated with beer cans.
 
2013-12-04 12:27:59 PM
It's art, you philistines simply don't understand it.
 
2013-12-04 12:34:50 PM

brantgoose: She also decorates a tree by the highway for the truckers.


I guess when you have to put food on the table you do whatever it takes to get business.
 
2013-12-04 12:40:06 PM

Mad Scientist: [0.tqn.com image 384x500]

Lobster trap tree!!


www.thespiritsbusiness.com

WHISKEY TREE reporting in.
 
2013-12-04 12:40:20 PM
Oh, poor Stockton. A town whose role in life is to give Middlesbrough something to look down on.
 
2013-12-04 12:40:53 PM
so now anything festively decorated is considered a christmas tree?
City council can throw a wad of tinsel on top of a fire hydrant and call it the "ugliest christmas tree of 2013" and try to increase tourism income.
 
2013-12-04 12:46:01 PM
Hmp.  Now I know what happened to the prop monster from "It Conqured The World."

/Frunobulax!
 
2013-12-04 12:46:36 PM

blatz514: Oh, I found an ugly X-Mas tree.

[gallery.markheadrick.com image 428x629]


That's horrible!

That's awful!


No tree should be subjected to Coors Light!
 
2013-12-04 01:05:32 PM

walkerhound: [n7ugc.disney.go.com image 600x450]


Did you know you can BUY one of those?

s24.postimg.org
 
2013-12-04 01:10:19 PM

barefoot in the head: "Me and my Arrow ... "


Now that's Oblioscure.
 
2013-12-04 01:15:04 PM

Keeve: barefoot in the head: "Me and my Arrow ... "

Now that's Oblioscure.


It needs a starr on it, otherwise it just misses the point.
 
2013-12-04 01:29:32 PM
It's not so bad. It compliments the town.
 
2013-12-04 01:35:48 PM
the one who got it should be the tree topper
 
2013-12-04 01:58:15 PM
Christmas suppository?
 
2013-12-04 01:59:29 PM

croesius: Keeve: barefoot in the head: "Me and my Arrow ... "

Now that's Oblioscure.

It needs a starr on it, otherwise it just misses the point.


"Everywhere I go, everyone knows, it's me and my Arrow."
 
2013-12-04 02:09:14 PM

WalMartian: croesius: Keeve: barefoot in the head: "Me and my Arrow ... "

Now that's Oblioscure.

It needs a starr on it, otherwise it just misses the point.

"Everywhere I go, everyone knows, it's me and my Arrow."



?? There was a car named the Arrow?
 
2013-12-04 02:39:29 PM

FrancoFile: WalMartian: croesius: Keeve: barefoot in the head: "Me and my Arrow ... "

Now that's Oblioscure.

It needs a starr on it, otherwise it just misses the point.

"Everywhere I go, everyone knows, it's me and my Arrow."


?? There was a car named the Arrow?


Yep, but more importantly there was a car called the Terraplane.
 
2013-12-04 03:23:20 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: walkerhound: [n7ugc.disney.go.com image 600x450]

Did you know you can BUY one of those?

[s24.postimg.org image 775x800]


We got one last year from Aldi. It was a huge favorite.

/No, really. We love it.
 
2013-12-04 03:30:15 PM
CSB:

When I was in Iraq, my mom sent me a  little (1.5 feet?) fiber optic tree and some ornaments. A lot of the glass ornaments didn't make it intact (Thanks APO!). I didn't want a bare (albiet brightly lit and color changing) tree, and then I hit upon a solution. What color are the M855 ball and M856 tracer? Green and orange...Christmas colors! (okay, so Christmas colors are green and red...but orange is technically just a really weak red...). So I happily glued the ornament hooks to 30 or so bullets and hung them on the tree.

Of course my platoon sergeant biatched me out for 'wasting' bullets. I told him 'well, it's not like we have a shortage or anything. There is a whole crate of them just over there.' He then started biatching about about I rendered the ammo dangerous to use because of the glue on the extractor rims. I told him I wasn't planning on using them again anyway. He asks how I safely intended to dispose of them. I say "Well, I figure I'll just chuck them in that lake right there." He just walked away muttering to himself.

Later on, after I changed the oil in a HMMVW, he inquired as to why, in the most holy of farks, was I pouring the old oil in a one foot deep pit I had dug, instead of disposing of it 'properly'. I explained that it was because we were in farking Iraq, and it would just sink down to rejoin the natural oil table anyay. I think that's when he decided he no longer cared to ask about any of my further antics.
 
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