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(Fox News)   NORAD has decided to give Santa some air support this year. Naturally, some people have a problem with this   (foxnews.com) divider line 57
    More: Amusing, Santa Claus, NORAD, Jack Frost, St. Nicholas, police escort, NORAD Tracks Santa  
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4918 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2013 at 12:04 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-04 11:13:48 AM
I'm kind of baffled by the need for them to put fighter planes in front of Santa.  Why would he need a defensive escort?

But whatevs.
 
2013-12-04 11:24:06 AM

Babwa Wawa: I'm kind of baffled by the need for them to put fighter planes in front of Santa.  Why would he need a defensive escort?

But whatevs.


Muslims are hostile to our Christian icons and figures.
 
2013-12-04 11:28:06 AM

Babwa Wawa: I'm kind of baffled by the need for them to put fighter planes in front of Santa.  Why would he need a defensive escort?

But whatevs.


It's the military running the site.  The E-4 or E-5 that got tasked with this probably thought it was funny as hell.  Same reason they did the "pre-flight intel briefing" video they mentioned.
 
2013-12-04 11:30:27 AM
Oh, like'd they be able to keep up with Santa considering how fast he goes in order to deliver presents around the world
 
2013-12-04 11:30:30 AM
Wait til they find out Santa doesn't exist.

Shoot, I ruined it.
 
2013-12-04 12:07:33 PM

Ambivalence: Wait til they find out Santa doesn't exist.


Wait... what?!?!
 
2013-12-04 12:07:38 PM
FTFA:  "Children associate Santa with gifts and fun and everything else that is positive about Christmas," Kanner told the newspaper. "They are associating this with the military in children's minds."

Yeah, and if there's one thing that 5 to 8 year old boys hate and think is super uncool, it's the military and fighter planes.  Get some perspective, lady.
 
2013-12-04 12:08:13 PM
The war on christmas continues unabated. My guess is they had to look pretty hard to uncover this latest front of the war.
 
2013-12-04 12:08:17 PM
These people are only just now realizing that the NORAD/Santa thing has been associating Christmas with the military in front of children for 58 years?
 
2013-12-04 12:08:42 PM

I_Am_Weasel: Oh, like'd they be able to keep up with Santa considering how fast he goes in order to deliver presents around the world


It's that alien technology from Area 51.  Why do you think all the animated Christmas specials were first broadcast at the same time that Project Blue Book was going on?

Study it out, sheeple.
 
2013-12-04 12:08:52 PM

HMS_Blinkin: FTFA:  "Children associate Santa with gifts and fun and everything else that is positive about Christmas," Kanner told the newspaper. "They are associating this with the military in children's minds."

Yeah, and if there's one thing that 5 to 8 year old boys hate and think is super uncool, it's the military and fighter planes.  Get some perspective, lady.


OK, so it turns out the person who said this was named "Allen."  But given his level of pearl-clutching, I just assumed...
 
2013-12-04 12:10:15 PM
When I was six, Santa brought me a toy M-16 and a bunch of the green Army men.
I didn't associate Santa with the military, nor did it scar me for life.

Ignore the complainers. There will always be panty-wetters somewhere.
 
2013-12-04 12:11:52 PM
Yo Commercial Free Childhood, go fark yourselves!

And Merry Christmas biatches : )
 
2013-12-04 12:13:16 PM
Well Canada is an ally and Santa lives in Canada.
 
2013-12-04 12:13:34 PM
Well, Santa IS a Arctic national. We wouldn't want him to deviate from his pre-approved flight plan. And this year might be the one where Santa doesn't call back quickly enough and the air force has to shoot him down.
 
2013-12-04 12:15:53 PM

Ambivalence: Wait til they find out Santa doesn't exist.

Shoot, I ruined it.


"I'm sorry, little Johnnie, but you're old enough for us to tell you the truth -- Santa won't be coming this year.  Obama shot him down."
 
2013-12-04 12:16:11 PM

Ambivalence: Wait til they find out Santa doesn't exist.

Shoot, I ruined it.


If Santa doesn't exist; what are they tracking every year around December 24th? I'm not saying it's aliens; but, it's aliens!
 
2013-12-04 12:18:09 PM
Must be a reaction to the Chinese and their new air defense system.
 
2013-12-04 12:19:10 PM

Oh sure, and they leave Kwanzaa-Bot unprotected?



theinfosphere.org
 
2013-12-04 12:20:05 PM

Babwa Wawa: I'm kind of baffled by the need for them to put fighter planes in front of Santa.  Why would he need a defensive escort?

But whatevs.


You want the ChinLee splashing Santa when he gets to Japan?

www.tallarmeniantale.com

Damn Good Joe.
 
2013-12-04 12:21:11 PM

Arkanaut: Ambivalence: Wait til they find out Santa doesn't exist.

Shoot, I ruined it.

"I'm sorry, little Johnnie, but you're old enough for us to tell you the truth -- Santa won't be coming this year.   Obama shot him down. Expect the Krampus."


/FIFY
 
2013-12-04 12:23:20 PM
It was a cute NORAD thing back when it started and didn't have it's own budget. How do you justify this fun stuff now when you have to furlough people due to lack of money? That's not just a cynical question but a real concern that DOD doesn't even try to prioritize what's important let alone cut their spending.
 
2013-12-04 12:23:31 PM
Why do the networks (ABC) keep using the same old Santa sleigh CGI from 1993? Time to update...
 
2013-12-04 12:24:08 PM
When I was six or seven my grandfather called early Christmas morning and had me go outside to see the tracks Santa's sledge had made.  When I got older I figured out that they were contrails from F-100s at the local guard base.  So it would seem that Santa has had fighter escort for some time.
 
2013-12-04 12:24:34 PM

Biff_Steel: The war on christmas continues unabated. My guess is they had to look pretty hard to uncover this latest front of the war.


DEAR FOX NEWS: I am 38 years old. Some of my lie-beral friends say there is no War on Christmas. Papa Bill O'Reilly says, 'If you see it on FOX NEWS it's fair and balanced.' Please tell me the truth; is there a War on Christmas?
--Virginia 

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a War on Christmas. It exists as certainly as death panels and fake birth certificates and Muslim prayer curtains exist, and you know that they abound. Alas! how dreary would be the 24-hour news cycle if there were no War on Christmas. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no shrill, overopinionated, underinformed people screaming at each other on "news" shows. The eternal light of imagined persecution that fills the talk shows would be extinguished.

Not believe in War on Christmas! You might as well not believe in derp! You might get your papa to hire men to watch all the checkout aisles in all the stores, but even if they did not see someone saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas," what would that prove? Nobody sees the War on Christmas, but that is no sign that there is no War on Christmas. The most real things in the world are those that obese, drug abusing, college flunk-out talk show hosts insist are real. Did you ever see the UN exert any kind of control over domestic policy? Of course not, but that's no proof that the blue-helmets aren't going to roll down your street and take your guns away and force you to read the Koran and stop you from spanking your kids. 

No War on Christmas! Thank God! it lives, and it lives forever. A thousand years from now, VIRGINIA, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, it will continue to make glad the heart of 24-hour news channels with time to fill and a partisan narrative to push.
 
2013-12-04 12:24:41 PM
Who cares, we all know Santa is just one big ninja.
 
2013-12-04 12:24:59 PM
NORAD's record of intercepting enemy planes over US isn't that great.  Hope they don't have a drill scheduled for 12/25.
 
2013-12-04 12:26:48 PM

edmo: It was a cute NORAD thing back when it started and didn't have it's own budget. How do you justify this fun stuff now when you have to furlough people due to lack of money? That's not just a cynical question but a real concern that DOD doesn't even try to prioritize what's important let alone cut their spending.


Me thinks you are unaware how the military works. They get a set budget; but, if they fail to spend ALL of the money, they immediately get their budget reduced. It is usually a catastrophic reduce. Thems the breaks!
 
2013-12-04 12:27:57 PM
Some people really spend way too much time and energy just searching for something to be outraged about.
 
2013-12-04 12:28:52 PM
i.imgur.com
Sorry Charlie, I'll make it up to you next year!
http://www.youtube.com/wa tch?v=gb_x5_qKk0c
 
2013-12-04 12:29:14 PM
If they wanted to go for realism then they'd be showing us the military attack on Santa's compound, attempting to steal his weaponizable magic and technology.
 
2013-12-04 12:30:35 PM

I_Am_Weasel: Oh, like'd they be able to keep up with Santa considering how fast he goes in order to deliver presents around the world


Look, when you do the math to determine the number of good kids in the world, factor in how much time it would take to deliver presents, and determine the speed his sleigh would have to achieve to complete the task on time, you discover one thing: the pressure wave generated at the landing point on your roof would flatten not just your house, but everything in a two-block radius.

Conclusion: Santa does not go to your house to deliver presents; he instead employs The Butterfly Effect.
 
2013-12-04 12:31:43 PM
Ok... USAF has a military themed joke.   Color me shocked.   If you don't want your children exposed to the military... Why the hell are you on the NORAD site?  Seriously... the other job these guys have is keeping the Doom Clock™ at 11:59.


//Fun bunch none the less, got to like them. :)
 
2013-12-04 12:34:09 PM
Wait.  Wait.  Are you all saying Santa is real?  Because, if so, whoa.  Mind blown.
 
2013-12-04 12:35:08 PM
Yeah, nice job, NORAD. While you're obsessed with escorting Santa, you're completely ignoring the Krampus menace. That guy's running around, spanking naughty girls with impunity, and you're giving him a free pass.

cdn.fearnet.com
 
2013-12-04 12:38:01 PM

edmo: It was a cute NORAD thing back when it started and didn't have it's own budget. How do you justify this fun stuff now when you have to furlough people due to lack of money? That's not just a cynical question but a real concern that DOD doesn't even try to prioritize what's important let alone cut their spending.


Your right. THIS is wasteful military spending unlike the fighters we buy that the military neither needs or wants
 
2013-12-04 12:38:21 PM
be-rad.com

Based on my constant war game simulations, I calculate a 99.9% probability that this incoming "Santa" blip is a Soviet era bomber carrying a full load of nuclear warheads.

I recommend a full scale retaliatory response.
 
2013-12-04 12:39:31 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Yeah, nice job, NORAD. While you're obsessed with escorting Santa, you're completely ignoring the Krampus menace. That guy's running around, spanking naughty girls with impunity, and you're giving him a free pass.

[cdn.fearnet.com image 500x400]


With a tongue like that, no wonder more girls are being naughty.
 
2013-12-04 12:44:16 PM

Diogenes: Babwa Wawa: I'm kind of baffled by the need for them to put fighter planes in front of Santa.  Why would he need a defensive escort?

But whatevs.

Muslims are hostile to our Christian icons and figures.

E

xactly. They hate us for our Freedom, Prosperity, and the fact that the USA is a Christian nation. St. Nick symbolizes all those things. They're probably also mad that he never gives them presents, given that they don't believe in baby Jesus or the Easter Bunny -- that's automatic naughty list forever.
 
2013-12-04 12:47:14 PM
They're going to need bigger jets.


payload.cargocollective.com
 
2013-12-04 12:48:34 PM
The videos are awesome and I seriously doubt that any child is going to cry salty tears of despair after watching them.
 
2013-12-04 12:50:00 PM
Why isn't the Tea Party up in arms about the government pissing money away on this stuff?
 
2013-12-04 12:52:55 PM
I'm surprised no one has taken the observing a religious symbol angle.
 
2013-12-04 01:01:44 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Biff_Steel: The war on christmas continues unabated. My guess is they had to look pretty hard to uncover this latest front of the war.

DEAR FOX NEWS: I am 38 years old. Some of my lie-beral friends say there is no War on Christmas. Papa Bill O'Reilly says, 'If you see it on FOX NEWS it's fair and balanced.' Please tell me the truth; is there a War on Christmas?
--Virginia 

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a War on Christmas. It exists as certainly as death panels and fake birth certificates and Muslim prayer curtains exist, and you know that they abound. Alas! how dreary would be the 24-hour news cycle if there were no War on Christmas. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no shrill, overopinionated, underinformed people screaming at each other on "news" shows. The eternal light of imagined persecution that fills the talk shows would be extinguished.

Not believe in War on Christmas! You might as well not believe in derp! You might get your papa to hire men to watch all the checkout aisles in all the stores, but even if they did not see someone saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas," what would that prove? Nobody sees the War on Christmas, but that is no sign that there is no War on Christmas. The most real things in the world are those that obese, drug abusing, college flunk-out talk show hosts insist are real. Did you ever see the UN exert any kind of control over domestic policy? Of course not, but that's no proof that the blue-helmets aren't going to roll down your street and take your guns away and force you to read the Koran and stop you from spanking your kids. 

No War on Christmas! Thank God! it lives, and it lives forever. A thousand years from now, VIRGINIA, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, it will continue to make glad the heart of 24-hour news channels with time to fill and a partisan narrative to push.


There's medication out there, you know. If you're interested...
 
2013-12-04 01:02:03 PM
Why isn't anyone complaining about the Christmassing up of the military?  Next our solders will have to wear elf hats and shoot guns shaped like candy canes and drop present bombs.  Won't someone think of the military?
 
2013-12-04 01:06:02 PM

Babwa Wawa: I'm kind of baffled by the need for them to put fighter planes in front of Santa.  Why would he need a defensive escort?

But whatevs.


A guy with a long beard and funny hat crosses our border carrying a giant bag of who knows what? Do you really think we're defending him?
 
2013-12-04 01:08:34 PM

SirEattonHogg: [be-rad.com image 225x150]

Based on my constant war game simulations, I calculate a 99.9% probability that this incoming "Santa" blip is a Soviet era bomber carrying a full load of nuclear warheads.

I recommend a full scale retaliatory response.



I'd rather play a nice game of chess.
 
2013-12-04 01:08:51 PM
FTFA: NORAD has added a fighter plane escort to add a realistic feel to the program.

You're TRACKING SANTA CLAUS.

Wtf...
 
2013-12-04 01:13:44 PM
Now it is full blown war on Christmas!!!
 
2013-12-04 03:15:32 PM
I just think it's weird that all of this is due to a typo in a department store ad decades ago.
 
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