If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Huffington Post)   Americans want Congress members to pee in cups to prove they're not on drugs   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 133
    More: Obvious, U.S. Congress, Americans, Kansas Legislature, National Security Archive, Fernando Henrique Cardoso, military assault, summary offence, Augusto Pinochet  
•       •       •

2364 clicks; posted to Politics » on 03 Dec 2013 at 6:23 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



133 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-12-03 04:24:52 PM
In order to prevent terrorists from smuggling a bomb into the chambers of Congress, they should be scanned, stripped and subjected to body cavity searches as well. It's the only way to keep America safe.
 
2013-12-03 04:28:56 PM
Can I just pee on them?
 
2013-12-03 04:30:56 PM
assets.ordienetworks.com
 
2013-12-03 04:37:06 PM
I am staunchly opposed to drug testing

/but I really like this idea
//I bet Boehner pees 80 proof
 
2013-12-03 04:46:45 PM
This reminds me of the Bloom County strip where they're drug testing the characters and causing trouble with those who had small amounts of drugs in their systems and ignoring the corporate overlords who might have blood in their alcohol stream.
 
2013-12-03 05:05:05 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I am staunchly opposed to drug testing

/but I really like this idea
//I bet Boehner pees 80 proof


shiat, during the shutdown you could see him sweating scotch through that expensive suit every time he was on the House floor.
 
2013-12-03 06:11:09 PM
I am very much a fan of this idea.  I think it might give members of congress a bit more insight into what it's like to be one of the little people for a change.
 
2013-12-03 06:12:32 PM
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-12-03 06:15:11 PM
I was hearing a talk show today that said that most cops that work in the inner cities are opposed to drug testing welfare and section 8 housing people.

Why? Because about 75 percent of them smoke pot occasionally. Now, imagine the post apocalyptic style crime wave you'd get if you dump thousands of people out on the streets without even basic food and shealter.

It's in my best interest to oppose drug testing for SNAP and Welfare because I don't want to be robbed or killed.

Do you think they'd clean up for a drug test? Do you think NFL or baseball players do that?
 
2013-12-03 06:17:47 PM
Mandatory IQ tests would be more useful.
 
2013-12-03 06:25:33 PM
Drug testing for welfare is discriminatory and heartless.

It should be reserved only for jobs where you can actually damage things if you're messed up, like with forklifts or congress.
 
2013-12-03 06:29:01 PM

brantgoose: In order to prevent terrorists from smuggling a bomb into the chambers of Congress, they should be scanned, stripped and subjected to body cavity searches as well. It's the only way to keep America safe.


They should at least have to go through a TSA-style backscatter/metal detector/shoes off thing every damn time they go to the floor.
 
2013-12-03 06:32:04 PM
Bipartisan anal probes!!
 
2013-12-03 06:33:28 PM
I only support this for congress people that vote it for their constituency

Everyone else gets a pass

Same for gay marriage : sodomy illegal for you. -- not anyone else

Blow jobs, however, are off limits
 
2013-12-03 06:33:57 PM
yes please.

I want to make sure they aren't sharing prescription drugs too, if their name isn't on the bottle the drug shouldn't be in their system.

revrendjim: Mandatory IQ tests would be more useful.


and that.
 
2013-12-03 06:35:55 PM

phlegmmo: [assets.ordienetworks.com image 365x405]


i can't stop looking at that.

it's as if he's alive and crying and every bit of his soul is trapped in that image.

/well done
 
2013-12-03 06:39:00 PM
Wait... THEY DON'T?!  WTF MAN?!
I had to get
piss tested just to work in a farkingwarehouse! They god-damned well better start piss testing those bastards.
 
2013-12-03 06:39:45 PM
1-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2013-12-03 06:39:46 PM
Oh no, they don't!
American's want catheterized specimen collection from Congress members because we already know what shiftless, lying, irresponsible, untrustworthy dirtbags we are dealing with.
 
2013-12-03 06:40:03 PM

Superjew: Drug testing for welfare is discriminatory and heartless.

It should be reserved only for jobs where you can actually damage things if you're messed up, like with forklifts or congress.


Nonsense.  Complete liberal whargarble nonsense.
 
2013-12-03 06:41:47 PM

BizarreMan: This reminds me of the Bloom County strip where they're drug testing the characters and causing trouble with those who had small amounts of drugs in their systems and ignoring the corporate overlords who might have blood in their alcohol stream.


Wait until they find trace amounts of THC from the janitor on the trail that derailed in NY.
 
2013-12-03 06:42:16 PM
It would be fun to play match the drug to the congresscritter. I think turtles is on suppository qualudes.
 
2013-12-03 06:43:03 PM
Hey, if you do your job, I don't give a rat's ass what you have coursing through your veins.

And I'm fine with congress getting a little "good for the gander" treatment, but let's be honest - the problem with congress is not physiological.  It's psychological.
 
2013-12-03 06:44:03 PM

maniacbastard: suppository qualudes


My new Zappa cover band
 
2013-12-03 06:44:35 PM
Reputedly when GWB would travel to foreign countries, Air Force I would also bring along his deluxe porta-potty. Many presume this was so that foreigners could not collect his emissions and determine what drugs he was taking or if he was hitting the sauce. And yes, Bush often acted as if he was on drugs. Then again he may have suffered from Corporophobia and had problems "going" in a toilet that wasn't familiar.
 
2013-12-03 06:45:23 PM

brantgoose: In order to prevent terrorists from smuggling a bomb into the chambers of Congress, they should be scanned, stripped and subjected to body cavity searches as well. It's the only way to keep America safe.


If the assumption is that you can terrorize/force a little old lady 80 year old to mule a bomb on a plane, WTF!, Congress Critters are obviously suspect.
 
2013-12-03 06:45:32 PM

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Superjew: Drug testing for welfare is discriminatory and heartless.

It should be reserved only for jobs where you can actually damage things if you're messed up, like with forklifts or congress.

Nonsense.  Complete liberal whargarble nonsense.


I disagree. It's also a waste of money. Unless you own a piece of the company doing the testing, that is.
 
2013-12-03 06:47:56 PM

Snatch Bandergrip: maniacbastard: suppository qualudes

My new Zappa cover band


My new geriatric Zappa cover band
 
2013-12-03 06:49:18 PM

BizarreMan: This reminds me of the Bloom County strip where they're drug testing the characters and causing trouble with those who had small amounts of drugs in their systems and ignoring the corporate overlords who might have blood in their alcohol stream.


http://www.thecomicstrips.com/store/add.php?iid=84001
 
2013-12-03 06:50:01 PM

thismomentinblackhistory: BizarreMan: This reminds me of the Bloom County strip where they're drug testing the characters and causing trouble with those who had small amounts of drugs in their systems and ignoring the corporate overlords who might have blood in their alcohol stream.

Wait until they find trace amounts of THC from the janitor on the trail that derailed in NY.


Yeah, I'm gonna dig the day everyone realizes that there aren't many people who don't have pot in their blood.

/seriously, like half my congregation has come to me about it because I'm open, but they all think they are the only ones who go to the church who smoke pot
 
2013-12-03 06:50:39 PM
I'm conflicted. On the one hand, drug testing is stupid and I wouldn't actually mind if congressmen smoked some weed if they get their jobs done. On the other hand, most of Congress should be forced into whatever degrading horseshiat we can force them into.
 
2013-12-03 06:51:52 PM

fusillade762: Lt. Cheese Weasel: Superjew: Drug testing for welfare is discriminatory and heartless.

It should be reserved only for jobs where you can actually damage things if you're messed up, like with forklifts or congress.

Nonsense.  Complete liberal whargarble nonsense.

I disagree. It's also a waste of money. Unless you own a piece of the company doing the testing, that is.


There's a Florida joke there, somewhere.
 
2013-12-03 06:52:06 PM

Voiceofreason01: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I am staunchly opposed to drug testing

/but I really like this idea
//I bet Boehner pees 80 proof

shiat, during the shutdown you could see him sweating scotch through that expensive suit every time he was on the House floor.


I thought only Leprechauns sweated scotch. Or is that Irish whiskey?

In conclusion, Boehner should be tested for pots of gold, and perhaps Skittles.
 
2013-12-03 06:52:51 PM
If states want welfare receipants to pee in cups, so should legislaters too.

Members of Congress? He'll, why not? I had to on the Air Force.
 
2013-12-03 06:53:29 PM

optikeye: I was hearing a talk show today that said that most cops that work in the inner cities are opposed to drug testing welfare and section 8 housing people.

Why? Because about 75 percent of them smoke pot occasionally. Now, imagine the post apocalyptic style crime wave you'd get if you dump thousands of people out on the streets without even basic food and shealter.

It's in my best interest to oppose drug testing for SNAP and Welfare because I don't want to be robbed or killed.

Do you think they'd clean up for a drug test? Do you think NFL or baseball players do that?


BS statistic. Don't be posting crap like that. When Florida did their little "drug test welfare people" only about 4% came back positive or declined the test, while the general population at least 8%. When I get to a computer I can link reference.
 
2013-12-03 06:54:08 PM

thurstonxhowell: I'm conflicted. On the one hand, drug testing is stupid and I wouldn't actually mind if congressmen smoked some weed if they get their jobs done. On the other hand, most of Congress should be forced into whatever degrading horseshiat we can force them into.


We already subject them to the campaign process. How much more degrading do you want?
 
2013-12-03 06:54:20 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-03 06:54:57 PM

revrendjim: Mandatory IQ tests would be more useful.


Then we would have an empty congress. Which I suppose would be an improvement.
 
2013-12-03 06:55:13 PM

optikeye: I was hearing a talk show today that said that most cops that work in the inner cities are opposed to drug testing welfare and section 8 housing people.

Why? Because about 75 percent of them smoke pot occasionally. Now, imagine the post apocalyptic style crime wave you'd get if you dump thousands of people out on the streets without even basic food and shealter.

It's in my best interest to oppose drug testing for SNAP and Welfare because I don't want to be robbed or killed.

Do you think they'd clean up for a drug test? Do you think NFL or baseball players do that?


A little side-notation to that. (disclaimer - I do not smoke pot, the smell makes me puking-sick.  But I don't give a shiat if others want to enjoy.)

Quite a few - and by that I mean almost all - of our engineers partake.  Certain subsets of our customers have contract clauses that state anyone who works on their projects has to pass a mandatory urine analysis.  Apparently passing one of those is incredibly easy to do if you have a weeks notice. (also in the contract)
 
2013-12-03 06:56:22 PM
I'm waiting for some Republican to have the lightbulb moment where they decide that employers can choose not to hire based on prescription drugs and then make sure that includes birth control.
 
2013-12-03 06:56:45 PM

Mugato: revrendjim: Mandatory IQ tests would be more useful.

Then we would have an empty congress. Which I suppose would be an improvement.


The Watson Supercomputer for Congress!
 
2013-12-03 06:56:47 PM

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Superjew: Drug testing for welfare is discriminatory and heartless.

It should be reserved only for jobs where you can actually damage things if you're messed up, like with forklifts or congress.

Nonsense.  Complete liberal whargarble nonsense.


No, it's not nonsense. It's nonsense to make the poor pee in cups for welfare and not the rich for their tax cuts.

Damn stupid, feel good idea by somebody with a grudge against welfare overall. Doesn't do any good and wastes money on drug tests.
 
2013-12-03 06:58:32 PM

revrendjim: Mandatory IQ tests would be more useful.


Also yes.
 
2013-12-03 06:58:33 PM

revrendjim: Mandatory IQ tests would be more useful.


Anything above 45 and you can't be a Senator
35 is the cutoff for Congresscritter
 
2013-12-03 06:58:40 PM

AirForceVet: Lt. Cheese Weasel: Superjew: Drug testing for welfare is discriminatory and heartless.

It should be reserved only for jobs where you can actually damage things if you're messed up, like with forklifts or congress.

Nonsense.  Complete liberal whargarble nonsense.

No, it's not nonsense. It's nonsense to make the poor pee in cups for welfare and not the rich for their tax cuts.


Let me get this straight. I get to pee in a cup *and* I get welfare? Where do I sign up?

/I'd pee in a cup for free!
 
2013-12-03 06:59:15 PM

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Superjew: Drug testing for welfare is discriminatory and heartless.

It should be reserved only for jobs where you can actually damage things if you're messed up, like with forklifts or congress.

Nonsense.  Complete liberal whargarble nonsense.


Sounds like you need to be tested.
 
2013-12-03 07:01:08 PM
can we get the smaller cups for the Republicans?
 
2013-12-03 07:01:09 PM

Diogenes: Can I just pee on them?


i like the way you think.

personally, i would PREFER that they were all smoking pot. they might do something good for a change. hope.
 
2013-12-03 07:01:43 PM
Florida had a testing program in 2011 that was halted by the courts not long after it was started. During its brief lifespan it had similarly poor results. Only 2.6 percent of those tested turned up positive for illicit substances. And since Florida reimbursed those who were clean for the cost of their tests, the state actually lost $45,780 because of the program.

Florida is especially important because Gov. Rick Scott owned a $62 million stake in Soltanic Corp., a chain of urgent care centers that, among other things, specializes in confidential drug testing. He transferred the shares of the company to his wife in January of 2011 just three months before both mandating that state employees would be tested and signing the law for welfare testing into effect.

Scott's company didn't bid on the contract to conduct the state tests. But when tens of thousands of people with their jobs and subsistence income on the line were wondering about their preparedness for their official drug screenings, it's hard to believe that Soltanic's business suffered - especially since Scott has a record of pursuing policies that would help Soltanic gain new patients. Even so, Scott's ties to the medical industry highlight the hypocrisy of programs that use budget consciousness as an excuse to cut welfare spending while merely channeling state funds to private businesses - in effect, turning individual welfare into corporate welfare.

An Inane, Money-Eating Sham
 
2013-12-03 07:03:35 PM

Empty H: optikeye: I was hearing a talk show today that said that most cops that work in the inner cities are opposed to drug testing welfare and section 8 housing people.

Why? Because about 75 percent of them smoke pot occasionally. Now, imagine the post apocalyptic style crime wave you'd get if you dump thousands of people out on the streets without even basic food and shealter.

It's in my best interest to oppose drug testing for SNAP and Welfare because I don't want to be robbed or killed.

Do you think they'd clean up for a drug test? Do you think NFL or baseball players do that?

BS statistic. Don't be posting crap like that. When Florida did their little "drug test welfare people" only about 4% came back positive or declined the test, while the general population at least 8%. When I get to a computer I can link reference.


2.6% failed or declined

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/18/us/no-savings-found-in-florida-wel fa re-drug-tests.html?_r=0
 
Displayed 50 of 133 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report