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(Philly.com)   Here are 11 utterly horrible gift ideas for the tech lover in your life   (philly.com) divider line 53
    More: Scary, adapters  
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7736 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Dec 2013 at 2:54 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-03 02:04:44 PM
Did they just raid the displays in the front of the registers at TJ Maxx and make them into a list?
 
2013-12-03 02:10:10 PM
They hit on both Hammacher and Brookstone, fine purveyors of overpriced ridiculshiat.
 
2013-12-03 02:11:48 PM
The TrakDot luggage tracker is kind of neat, but I'd only consider buying it if it also came with a, "Help I'm Being Stolen By The TSA!" alert capability.
 
2013-12-03 02:15:31 PM
Giving one of these to a "tech lover" is like Grandma giving you socks.
 
wee [TotalFark]
2013-12-03 02:19:15 PM

oh_please: Giving one of these to a "tech lover" is like Grandma giving you socks.


My first thought was that most of these were aimed at grandmas who know how to turn on their computer.
 
2013-12-03 02:29:36 PM

Ashyukun: The TrakDot luggage tracker is kind of neat, but I'd only consider buying it if it also came with a, "Help I'm Being Stolen By The TSA!" alert capability.


Luggage sending and receiving cell signals?  There's no way that could go awry.
 
2013-12-03 02:38:29 PM
Those can't be all bad, subby.

Wait, yes, yes they can.
 
2013-12-03 03:01:35 PM
Oh well, Nintendo soap it is, then.
 
2013-12-03 03:04:50 PM
Kind of cool
shiat
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shiat
 
2013-12-03 03:04:54 PM
Someone at Philly.com wrote their "article" from a Skymall catalog.
 
2013-12-03 03:08:02 PM
Those gloves really work. Remember, some of us live in Canada and taking off two or three layers of gloves just to use your phone or ipad can lead to frost bite.

On the other hand, you can get them for under $10.

For years I was cursing the makers of portable devices for not taking Canadian weather into account. Heck, the cords on my iPods freeze and become so stiff I worry about them snapping. But with these gloves under a pair of Newfoundland Fisherman mitten-gloves you can use your Kindle or Touch until the screen freezes, literally stops changing, because of the cold.

I agree that the rest of this stuff is either too expensive or just junk, but I like the idea of the device that finds your car. I suppose if you are a tech geek, though, you already have GPS in your phone and know how to note your position. Lots of luck remembering the latitude and longitude though unless you have a good memory as well as an iPhone or Google Earth or something.

Mmmm ... Google Earth? Would that work?
 
2013-12-03 03:09:05 PM

jaytkay: Someone at Philly.com wrote their "article" from a Skymall catalog.


For the lazy f*cking dog in your life:

pet.imageg.net
 
2013-12-03 03:09:13 PM
The collapsable lantern looks cool, as does the U-shaped 3.5mm speaker splitter.
 
2013-12-03 03:11:58 PM

bdub77: jaytkay: Someone at Philly.com wrote their "article" from a Skymall catalog.

For the lazy f*cking dog in your life:

[pet.imageg.net image 300x300]


Or very old.

I'd add, "Or very small," but at chihuahua size you just pick them up and toss them into the car/trunk.
 
2013-12-03 03:12:32 PM
brantgoose:
I agree that the rest of this stuff is either too expensive or just junk, but I like the idea of the device that finds your car. I suppose if you are a tech geek, though, you already have GPS in your phone and know how to note your position. Lots of luck remembering the latitude and longitude though unless you have a good memory as well as an iPhone or Google Earth or something.

Mmmm ... Google Earth? Would that work?



I just take a picture of the nearest unique landmark near where I park (signpost or storefront).  I can remember what airport I parked at or 3 block area.
 
2013-12-03 03:17:30 PM
Damn. I had an idea for a passive RFID or GPS thing for lost luggage ten years ago. I guess I should've done more than just brainstorming and coming up with a rough business plan.
 
2013-12-03 03:18:45 PM

Ashyukun: I'd add, "Or very small," but at chihuahua size you just pick them up and toss them into the car/trunk woodchipper.


FTFY
 
2013-12-03 03:21:57 PM
The one "gift" idea that disturbs me is the tablet.  Now granted I would probably want one if I did not already have one.  Kinda neat and handy, might make for a good gift..... but who. and I mean who buys a gift that requires a subscription?
 
2013-12-03 03:24:08 PM
Japanese Lady Gaga love doll strangely absent.
 
2013-12-03 03:27:11 PM

brantgoose: Those gloves really work. Remember, some of us live in Canada and taking off two or three layers of gloves just to use your phone or ipad can lead to frost bite.


That's why I got a Nokia L920. You can use your gloves or keys(if your brave enough) to navigate the screen.
/Cold arse Chicago
 
2013-12-03 03:37:36 PM

Saiga410: The one "gift" idea that disturbs me is the tablet.  Now granted I would probably want one if I did not already have one.  Kinda neat and handy, might make for a good gift..... but who. and I mean who buys a gift that requires a subscription?


Parents who are paying the subscription.  A nice, new smartphone (for instance) would make lots of 16 year olds VERY happy.
 
2013-12-03 03:38:27 PM

bdub77: jaytkay: Someone at Philly.com wrote their "article" from a Skymall catalog.

For the lazy f*cking dog in your life:

[pet.imageg.net image 300x300]


Apparently you have yet to own large and old arthritic or otherwise mobility limited pets.

/carried my 80lb. dog up and down the stairs for two plus weeks hoping she was going to get better
//she didn't.....
 
2013-12-03 03:40:53 PM

bdub77: Kind of cool
shiat
shiat
shiat
shiat
shiat
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shiat


Dude, just sew some conductive thread on the fingertips of your gloves.  That's the only difference that those gloves have compared to what you can purchase normally.

FWIW: the thread runs about $5/spool.  There's also a good bit about it that AToS did on it about 3 years ago (Grace Helbig was the reporter, IIRC).
 
2013-12-03 03:43:45 PM
media.philly.com

For the old schooler

This superslim and ultralight colorful camera uses 35mm film and a 22mm wide-angle lens to shoot bright, saturated images with tunnel-like visual effects. ($35; poketo.com)


No self-described "tech lover" would ever think this is a good gift.

Now, if it was on a list of "11 great gift ideas for 13-year old girls or hipster douchebags," you'd be about right.
 
2013-12-03 03:47:00 PM

meathome: Dude, just sew some conductive thread on the fingertips of your gloves.  That's the only difference that those gloves have compared to what you can purchase normally.


Or be a man and don't wear gloves at all.  Dude probably uses an umbrella in the rain too!
 
2013-12-03 03:48:35 PM

brantgoose: Those gloves really work. Remember, some of us live in Canada and taking off two or three layers of gloves just to use your phone or ipad can lead to frost bite.

On the other hand, you can get them for under $10.

For years I was cursing the makers of portable devices for not taking Canadian weather into account. Heck, the cords on my iPods freeze and become so stiff I worry about them snapping. But with these gloves under a pair of Newfoundland Fisherman mitten-gloves you can use your Kindle or Touch until the screen freezes, literally stops changing, because of the cold.


Have you tried leather gloves?  I don't wear gloves normally, because I live in a sensible climate where the weather isn't trying to kill me, but my leather motorcycle gloves work just fine with my Note.
 
2013-12-03 03:49:47 PM

brantgoose: Those gloves really work. Remember, some of us live in Canada and taking off two or three layers of gloves just to use your phone or ipad can lead to frost bite.


If you're not willing to lose your fingers then you just don't want it enough.
 
2013-12-03 03:51:54 PM
Last year, I spent $19 on a pair of stretchy knit gloves designed to be used on touch screens. The tip of the thumb frayed into a giant gaping hole within a week after one small snag.

Not long after that, I bought a bunch of cheapie gloves from Walmart. They were a stretchy knit, also, same thickness as the fancy techno gloves I had recently bought - 3 pairs bundled for $2.99 each so I bought four bundles because I have two kids who constantly lose gloves all winter long.

I discovered, quite by accident, that the Walmart gloves which cost less than a dollar per pair worked perfectly well on touch screens (at least they did on my iPhone and GPS). Live and learn.
 
2013-12-03 03:52:20 PM
brantgoose:

I agree that the rest of this stuff is either too expensive or just junk, but I like the idea of the device that finds your car. I suppose if you are a tech geek, though, you already have GPS in your phone and know how to note your position. Lots of luck remembering the latitude and longitude though unless you have a good memory as well as an iPhone or Google Earth or something.

Mmmm ... Google Earth? Would that work?


https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.nomadrobot.mycarlo ca torfree
 
2013-12-03 03:54:47 PM
Meh. Why do adults even give each others gifts?
 
2013-12-03 03:56:20 PM
Surely subby must be exaggerating *checks list*

Wow... I'm actually impressed by the level of stupid in that list.
 
2013-12-03 03:57:23 PM

Saiga410: brantgoose:
I agree that the rest of this stuff is either too expensive or just junk, but I like the idea of the device that finds your car. I suppose if you are a tech geek, though, you already have GPS in your phone and know how to note your position. Lots of luck remembering the latitude and longitude though unless you have a good memory as well as an iPhone or Google Earth or something.

Mmmm ... Google Earth? Would that work?


I just take a picture of the nearest unique landmark near where I park (signpost or storefront).  I can remember what airport I parked at or 3 block area.


There's using the old noggin.

Now if I only had a car to find.
 
2013-12-03 03:59:14 PM

Saiga410: The one "gift" idea that disturbs me is the tablet.  Now granted I would probably want one if I did not already have one.  Kinda neat and handy, might make for a good gift..... but who. and I mean who buys a gift that requires a subscription?


...from Sprint, no less.

/DoubleplusWTF.
 
2013-12-03 04:01:02 PM

Uncle Tractor: Meh. Why do adults even give each others gifts?


Because JESUS!  That's why.
 
2013-12-03 04:04:49 PM

oh_please: Giving one of these to a "tech lover" is like Grandma giving you socks.


At least the socks are useful.
 
2013-12-03 04:10:13 PM
a.tgcdn.net

a.tgcdn.net

a.tgcdn.net

a.tgcdn.net

a.tgcdn.net

a.tgcdn.net

That last one is a digital microscope with top/bottom LED lighting and a built-in 1.3MP camera, which you can use to upload photos or video to your computer.

/wants
 
2013-12-03 04:10:23 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-03 04:18:09 PM
media.philly.com

How many of our Earth's limited resources are we going to continue to waste on making oddly shaped, novelty flashlights or lanterns that are never remotely useful, sit on someones desk for a year, and are thrown out when a loved one isn't around?
 
2013-12-03 04:28:21 PM
Why isn't Scotch on the list?  I am giving bottles of Scotch.  Now that Washington has comercialized it's liquor stores there is a HUGE variety of Scotch availible.

and my friends know if I am given scotch I will ltake it to their house so they can help drink it.

thus buy me the one you want.

heh.
 
2013-12-03 04:32:30 PM

madgordy: Why isn't Scotch on the list?  I am giving bottles of Scotch.  Now that Washington has comercialized it's liquor stores there is a HUGE variety of Scotch availible.

and my friends know if I am given scotch I will ltake it to their house so they can help drink it.

thus buy me the one you want.

heh.


I like where your head is at, my friend.
 
2013-12-03 04:33:02 PM
This is interesting:

The Formula One Speaker Dock

digital.hammacher.com

It is an iPod dock made from the exhaust manifold of a retired F1 car.

Not at all practical and possibly a bit overpriced at $8500, but interesting.
 
2013-12-03 04:48:34 PM

I_Am_Weasel: Ashyukun: The TrakDot luggage tracker is kind of neat, but I'd only consider buying it if it also came with a, "Help I'm Being Stolen By The TSA!" alert capability.

Luggage sending and receiving cell signals?  There's no way that could go awry.


"Luggage tracker?"   I'd bet that all but about 2 of those have been tossed in the spouse's car to find out where their something on the side is.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-12-03 04:55:50 PM
Sprint is offering this do-it-all Android-based tablet for $50 to new customers (with a two-year agreement) and those eligible for an upgrade. ($50; sprint.com)

Merry Christmas, I bought you a recurring payment obligation for the next 24 months.
 
2013-12-03 06:13:35 PM

Uzzah: [media.philly.com image 400x250]

For the old schooler

This superslim and ultralight colorful camera uses 35mm film and a 22mm wide-angle lens to shoot bright, saturated images with tunnel-like visual effects. ($35; poketo.com)

No self-described "tech lover" would ever think this is a good gift.

Now, if it was on a list of "11 great gift ideas for 13-year old girls or hipster douchebags," you'd be about right.


Dude, a 13-year old girl doesn't even know what "film" is
 
2013-12-03 07:20:18 PM
Thee are such thinks as unisex gloves?

Also, trackdot has horrible reviews.
 
2013-12-03 07:46:39 PM

Ctrl-Alt-Del: Now, if it was on a list of "11 great gift ideas for 13-year old girls or hipster douchebags," you'd be about right.

Dude, a 13-year old girl doesn't even know what "film" is


They're there for the "bright, saturated images with tunnel-like visual effects" part. The hipsters are the ones jizzing over the chance to shoot film again.

God forbid we find a 13 year-old girl hipster...
 
2013-12-03 08:39:19 PM

DeltaPunch: That last one is a digital microscope with top/bottom LED lighting and a built-in 1.3MP camera, which you can use to upload photos or video to your computer.

/wants


Okay, it is just driving me crazy that in the Tetris lamp picture they put that tetrimino there. If I could just put my hands through the screen and fix it, it would be like scratching an itch.
 
2013-12-03 08:41:29 PM

Uzzah: God forbid we find a 13 year-old girl hipster...


She'd be moping around because she'd never be able to grow a cool handlebar mustache.
 
2013-12-03 08:42:29 PM
Okay, I want the Tetris lamp. That's awesome.
 
2013-12-03 09:28:15 PM
Or buy them something useful.

/Have fun blowing stuff
//Like your mom.
 
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